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10 Things Only Healthy Couples Understand

10 Things Only Healthy Couples Understand

Being in a healthy, stable relationship involves work from both sides. Love and respect being the basis of all relationships, there are several other things that go into making a relationship healthy. Below are a list of things only healthy couples will really understand.

1. Communication is second nature.

You are so used to having constant communication with your partner, it has become routine. Communicating in relationship is so important because it’s a constant way of checking in and making sure the two of you are on the same page. This constant communication is what keeps the relationship healthy.

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2. Appreciating each other is a daily habit.

It’s important to feel like you are lucky to have the other person in your life. Healthy couples understand this and therefore never take each other for granted which makes for a happy relationship. They feel thankful for each other and show appreciation for each other for even the littlest things.

3. Compromise is an important tool.

It may seem redundant to hear that compromise makes for a good relationship, but that’s only because it’s true. Couples who compromise not only on the small things but the big things as well end up happier when they realize they can make decisions together amicably.

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4. Having arguments is normal.

People are bound to have differences of opinion or conflict that results in arguing. Healthy couples understand that having arguments isn’t the end of the world and are able to move passed their fights. Being able to argue with each other and move on is better than holding on to things, only healthy couples understand this.

5. Letting your guard down is a good thing.

Couples who can be themselves in a relationship and accept each other have the healthiest relationship. Being able to be yourself and feeling accepted is important because then you don’t feel like you have to change or that you’re disappointing your other half. You both can then be content with each other and yourselves allowing your relationship to flourish.

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6. Bad days are made better when you are together.

It doesn’t matter what happened or what mood your in, when you are with your partner you can relentlessly complain or just sit there in silence and you still feel a lot better. Finding solace just by being in each other’s presence is a sign that the two of you have a loving, healthy relationship.

7. You always have someone to rely on.

When something goes wrong, you always are always there for each other. Be it something small like a flat tire or something big like a death in the family you know that you can always rely on the other person no matter what.

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8. You can have fun doing absolutely nothing.

The two of you could be sitting at home watching the weather channel not speaking for hours and still have a good time. Healthy couples are able to enjoy the sweetness of doing nothing with each other. Couples who understand that it really isn’t about what you do but who you’re with have a relationship everyone should envy.

9. Your priorities are different than when you were single.

Healthy couples understand that when they are in a relationship they are integrating that person into their lives. Because they understand this they rearrange their lives to place the other person at the very top. This is important for maintaining a relationship where both people make time for each other.

10. Happiness is a shared event.

When something good happens, healthy couples always want to share the news with each other first. This is because they know that their partner will share their happiness. Being in a healthy relationship means that your happiness becomes your partner’s happiness and only truly healthy couples really understand this.

Featured photo credit: Young couple in love walking in the autumn park holding hands via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on December 3, 2019

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

There are so many lessons I wish I had learned while I was young enough to appreciate and apply them. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’re learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned.

Here’re 10 important life lessons you should learn early on:

1. Money Will Never Solve Your Real Problems

Money is a tool; a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems.

There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people are living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.

Money can buy a nice home, a great car, fabulous shoes, even a bit of security and some creature comforts, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness, and the “happiness” it brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters. Happiness is not for sale. If you’re expecting the “stuff” you can buy to “make it better,” you will never be happy.

2. Pace Yourself

Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose, and do it all at the same time.

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Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit.

Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.

3. You Can’t Please Everyone

“I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby.

You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside.

Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values.

4. Your Health Is Your Most Valuable Asset

Health is an invaluable treasure—always appreciate, nurture, and protect it. Good health is often wasted on the young before they have a chance to appreciate it for what it’s worth.

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We tend to take our good health for granted, because it’s just there. We don’t have to worry about it, so we don’t really pay attention to it… until we have to.

Heart disease, bone density, stroke, many cancers—the list of many largely preventable diseases is long, so take care of your health now, or you’ll regret it later on.

5. You Don’t Always Get What You Want

“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

No matter how carefully you plan and how hard you work, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to… and that’s okay.

We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to flop to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.

6. It’s Not All About You

You are not the epicenter of the universe. It’s very difficult to view the world from a perspective outside of your own, since we are always so focused on what’s happening in our own lives. What do I have to do today? What will this mean for me, for my career, for my life? What do I want?

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It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you, and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.

7. There’s No Shame in Not Knowing

No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection.

We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life.

Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.

8. Love Is More Than a Feeling; It’s a Choice

That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse quickening love and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible.

Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful.

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Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard. It is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.

9. Perspective Is a Beautiful Thing

Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing.

The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on.

10. Don’t Take Anything for Granted

We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: that includes your health, your family and friends, your job, the money you have or think you will have tomorrow.

When you’re young, it seems that your parents will always be there, but they won’t. You think you have plenty of time to get back in touch with your old friends or spend time with new ones, but you don’t. You have the money to spend, or you think you’ll have it next month, but you might not.

Nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.

This is a hard life lesson to learn, but it may be the most important of all: Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it.

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Featured photo credit: Ben Eaton via unsplash.com

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