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10 Things Happy People Don’t Believe

10 Things Happy People Don’t Believe

So you want to be happy? Well, there’s only one thing standing in your way. You. Happiness is a choice that only happy people make. Here are the 10 delusions happy people don’t subscribe to. These can help you understand how to be happy.

1. Life is fair.

Happiness isn’t about always getting what you want. Happy people understand that sometimes life doesn’t go their way; life isn’t fair. What they do know, is that you can only do your best, forgive yourself for what doesn’t work, and let go when you need to.

2. Suffering is bad.

Suffering is an inevitable condition of humanity. You cannot survive this world without at least a little suffering. Happy people know a deeper happiness comes through surviving a deep pain. We learn what we’re truly made of when faced with such hurt.

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3. I’m in control of things.

As hard as you work, and as much as you try to plan it all out, you’re just not in control. You cannot control the actions or thoughts of others. In order to reach happiness, happy people accept this inevitable truth and learn to be proactive rather than reactive to life’s surprises and mishaps.

4. People are obligated to love me a specific way.

If your happiness is dependent on how other people feel about you, you will never be happy. You can’t please everyone and you certainly can’t force anyone to love you in a specific way. Happy people accept the way their loved ones feel, and work at showing their affection and asking for what they need rather than expecting people to love them the way they want to be loved.

5. Everyone hates me.

This is a toxic belief and a delusion, yet sadly a great proportion of unhappy people fall prey to this, which is largely why they are unhappy. Happy people face the world with a healthy dose of curiosity and nonchalance. They are interested in others, yet not so dependent on being loved in a specific way. Making friends takes time, that’s all.

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6. I can’t.

If you believe you are incapable and let that belief keep you from happiness, then ultimately you give truth to a self-imposed fallacy. The only way to improve and succeed at anything is to try and try again. Consider this: who is your idol? Do you think he or she is so accomplished through a life void of failure? No! They simply do not let their doubts keep them from happiness.

7. I have something to prove.

Unhappy people seek happiness through approval. Unfortunately, that approval is impossible to achieve because it is caused by a inner lack, which keeps them constantly striving. Happiness can only be achieved through self-acceptance. Yours is the only approval you need.

8. It doesn’t matter.

“It doesn’t matter” is just an excuse. It’s what unhappy people tell themselves to avoid confrontation when they’ve been mistreated, or to endure a lack of courage when they don’t follow their dreams. Happiness matters. Respect matters. Don’t dismiss your needs to avoid responsibility of your own happiness.

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9. I’d be happier, if only I were [fill in the blank].

You know your routine. I’d be happier, if only I were skinnier, prettier, smarter, the CEO. Happy people know the secret to happiness is accepting themselves–flaws and all. It’s okay to work on improving yourself–we’re always in a state of learning–but it’s not okay to berate yourself for your flaws. Focus on your strengths.

10. I’m too old.

You are never too old. Yes, you may look silly. And, yes, it may be harder than you expect, but it’s never too late to choose happiness. Happy people keep choosing happiness every day, whether they felt it early on or discovered the secret later in life, it’s their choice. Life is unpredictable. The only sure thing is we’re all getting older one day at a time, so don’t let that keep you from happiness.

Want some more motivation to kick that happiness into gear? Check out these 20 Definitions Of Happiness You Need To Know.

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Featured photo credit: Alba Soler Photography via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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