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10 Steps to Fight Your Way Out Of Despair and Find Happiness Again

10 Steps to Fight Your Way Out Of Despair and Find Happiness Again

When everything has gone wrong; you’ve lost someone you love, you’ve lost your business, you’ve lost your money.

You want to give up. But you won’t, you can’t.

You need to find a way to fight back.

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What do you do to find happiness again?

This is the way to do it‒in 10 steps.

1. Breathe

When I touched bottom, I had a 10 point To Do list on my refrigerator. Every morning I wrote at the top, in position number one: “BREATHE.” That was it. For months there was nothing else on the list.

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Even though it sometimes seems impossible, there will be a brighter day. But to get there you have to remember to keep doing that one thing: BREATHE.

2. Remember this: all things must pass

It’s the basic law of life. Good times, bad times, nothing ever stays the same. A run of bad luck can’t go on forever. The tide will come back in; it always does. It’s a law of life. Until then, keep breathing.

3. Look for the light at the end of the tunnel

You may not see it today, you may not see it tomorrow. But if you stick to steps one and two, you will finally see that glimmer one day. I promise you.

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4. “Poco a poco”.

It’s a saying where I live in Spain. They use it all the time; it means “little by little.” You may want this nightmare to be over today, but it doesn’t work like that. Grief, financial meltdown, divorce; these are things you walk through one small step at a time. When you finally see the light, chart a course towards it and start walking, one small step at a time.

5. Be gentle with yourself

If you ever played Snakes and Ladders as a kid, you’ll know how frustrating it is to get halfway up the board then come hurtling back down again. Well this is going to be like that. You’ll think you’re almost out of it; you’re feeling a little better, or you cut a break in your career and you think the worst is done and then you find yourself back in the pits again. That’s okay, that’s how it works. Go back to step 1 and breathe.

6. Don’t think that time heals all wounds

Because it doesn’t. People tell you this, and they’d like it to be true, but really it isn’t. It’s been ten years now since I lost everything‒I mean everything‒and some days it still hurts. Grief is nuclear, it has a shelf life of thousands of years. Believing that it will magically go away one day will just keep you mired in the past. What you want is for the pain to subside so that you can start again‒that’s not the finishing line, but for now it’s your starting post.

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7. Be tough with yourself

Allow yourself to grieve; if you’ve lost someone you love, then don’t hold back the tears. If you made a mistake that’s cost you your business, your house, the farm‒okay, indulge yourself, beat up on yourself. But sooner or later you have to stop. You’ll know when it’s time. But when that day comes, you have to raise your eyes and discipline yourself not to keep looking back.

8. Don’t make big decisions

Sometimes it’s tempting to grasp for the first life vest someone throws us: a new investment that will make good of our losses or a new lover to heal our pain. We want so badly for this to be over. But be warned‒the time to make any big decisions is when you’re not hurting.

9. Don’t expect things to be the same again

When the tide comes back in, whatever was written on the sand before is gone. Accept that what you are going through is a life changing event. Your new life may look nothing like the old one. Wear the scar and move on to that new life, whatever it is. Write new things in the sand.

10. Remember to like what is left

This is the most important step of all. If you can do all these things and not break, then what is left is a remarkable person. What has happened to you is not a good thing, but you have walked through fire and come out the other side. That makes you a truly remarkable person. Never ever forget that.

 

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

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