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10 Signs That You’re Ready For Marriage

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10 Signs That You’re Ready For Marriage

Your friends are pairing off, and you feel like it’s time to settle down. Are you just giving in to peer pressure, or do you really want to marry your current partner? Check out these signs and see if you’re ready for marriage.

1. You know why you want to get married.

There are pictures of tuxedos and white dresses all over your Facebook feed—is that what you want? Do you just want to be able to say you’re married, or do you really want to spend your life with your partner? Think about why you want to get married. What benefits will you get from marrying your partner, as opposed to continuing your relationship as it is? Ask yourself the hard questions and make sure you’re ready for marriage.

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2. You’re planning a marriage, not a wedding.

Weddings are fun parties, a chance to see all your friends and family in one place. But is this why you’re getting married? Do you just want to have a big party and be the center of attention? Weddings last several hours, but a marriage lasts forever. (Hopefully!) Don’t plan for one day—plan for the rest of your lives. Think about how your everyday life will be with your partner, even when you’re not the center of attention.

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    3. You’ve lived your own life.

    It’s true—some high school sweethearts can marry and make it work. But that’s not common. Studies show it’s best to wait until you’re 25 or older to get married. You’re more mature, you’ve lived more of your life. It doesn’t mean you have to date everyone who crosses your path, but you’ve had a chance to meet different people and realize what you want and what you don’t want in your life. This will help you pick your perfect partner.

    4. Your relationship is deep.

    In the beginning, you and your partner flirted, went out a lot, stayed in bed a lot…But if you’re getting married, you need to have a deep relationship. Deeper than just having fun all the time, going out every night, being carefree. You need to be able to tackle tough issues together.

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    5. You know and trust your partner.

    No matter how long you guys have been together, you need to know your partner completely. Don’t get married just because you’ve been dating for four years. Get married because you know your partner. You know their past and you know their hopes and dreams. You can imagine their reactions to certain things. You know all this and you still love them. Beyond that, you trust them. Trust is vital for a marriage, so make sure you can trust your partner completely.

    6. You don’t want to change your partner.

    Don’t marry your significant other and think they will change. Marry them because you love them as they are. Making a major commitment won’t change anyone—though it may make you have to work harder on your relationship. Don’t expect the marriage to change your relationship, either. A wedding is not going to heal a major rift between you.

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    7. You resolve conflicts together.

    Don’t just gloss over your problems and think forgetting them will make them better. Work out any kinks in your relationship so they won’t blow up later. Don’t get married because you think it will solve a problem. Solve the problem first! If you can’t work out any issues, then you and your partner won’t be able to communicate effectively. Resolving conflicts and compromising in a relationship will make a strong foundation for a healthy marriage.

    8. You make long-term plans together.

    In a new relationship, it’s OK to fly by the seat of your pants. You can change things at the last minute and don’t have to plan beyond your next Saturday night date. Once you get serious and decide to commit to each other, you need to make plans together. What if your partner wants to travel the world? Are you OK with staying home alone, or would you go with your partner? Know what each of you want, and make sure you’re OK with working through these goals and plans together.

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    9. Your family and friends like your partner.

    When you’re newly in love, you might feel like that nothing else matters. Once you’re committed, you realize that everything matters. Initially, you might not care that your dad doesn’t approve of your partner. What does it matter when you’re the one dating them? But over time, this small rift will affect your life and your relationship. If your family and friends don’t like your partner, where is your support system? Will you be alienated from your friends and not invited to family events? Also remember that your family and friends know you best, and if they think there’s a problem with your relationship, maybe you should listen.

    10. You can’t imagine your life without your partner.

    Overall, you’re in love with your partner. You can’t see yourself with anyone else. You can’t see yourself without your partner. If you know you can’t be happy with another person, and you’d be incredibly unhappy without your current partner, then let it go and enjoy your loving relationship and marriage!

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    Last Updated on January 5, 2022

    How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

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    How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

    We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

    Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

    Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

    Expressing Anger

    Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

    Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

    Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

    Being Passive-Aggressive

    This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

    Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

    This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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    Poorly-Timed

    Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

    An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

    Ongoing Anger

    Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

    Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

    Healthy Ways to Express Anger

    What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

    Being Honest

    Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

    Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

    Being Direct

    Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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    Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

    Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

    Being Timely

    When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

    Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

    Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

    How to Deal With Anger

    If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

    1. Slow Down

    From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

    In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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    When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

    2. Focus on the “I”

    Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

    When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

    3. Work out

    When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

    Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

    Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

    4. Seek Help When Needed

    There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

    5. Practice Relaxation

    We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

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    That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

    Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

    6. Laugh

    Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

    7. Be Grateful

    It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

    Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

    Final Thoughts

    Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

    During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

    Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

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    More Resources on Anger Management

    Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

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