Advertising
Advertising

10 Secrets of The Socially Successful

10 Secrets of The Socially Successful

Have you ever attended a social gathering and noticed that one socially successful individual who seems to effortlessly flit from group to group? Or maybe you have a coworker who makes networking seem as easy as an elementary school spelling class (which, I admit, may not have been easy for all). Everyone has that friend who introduces themselves first, has no problem meeting new people, and never seems to be uneasy in any social situation. And if you can’t think of anyone who fits these categories, that friend is most likely you. Congratulations!

In any case, no matter where you fall on the spectrum from shy caterpillar to social butterfly, everyone can integrate these secrets and tips into their life to make interactions easier and become socially successful. But, as it is with most things in life, these techniques are most effective when put into deliberate practice.

1. Be yourself.

It seems simple, but no one wants to meet a clone, a copy of everyone else. The things that make you different are the very things that make you interesting. People with magnetic personalities are people who are comfortable in their own skin. This doesn’t mean that you should be different just for the sake of it. But if your hobbies and traits are naturally different from those of everyone else, embrace that! People enjoy learning about new things. If your interests are similar to what everyone else likes, then you have found things in common and should embrace that as well.

Advertising

2. Be genuinely positive. 

People with an optimistic view on life are always welcome in any social setting. A smile is never out of style. Having a positive view on topics is contagious and spreads to others, bringing rays of sunshine to the conversation. However, there is a balance. Just as eternal pessimists can be draining, continual optimism can be equally exhausting and seen as fake.

3. Focus on being interested, not interesting.

Many people mistakenly assume that social success comes from having lists of accomplishments to rattle off, amazing adventures to recount, or a plethora of never-failing jokes. But in reality, you can increase interest in yourself simply by increasing how interested you are in the lives and stories of others! People love to talk about themselves, and love having others around who seem to have a genuine interest in their stories.

4. Build others up. 

The foundation of you becoming socially successful will always lie in how you treat others. Take care to refrain from gossip and cutting sarcasm when meeting new people, as this may leave a biting impression of you in their minds. Learning how to give a proper compliment also goes a long way. People trust someone who says the same thing about them in front of their face that is said behind their back.

Advertising

5. Be helpful and dependable.

It seems simple, but if someone needs assistance that you’re able to provide, help them! Giving aid when you’re truly in a position to do so communicates a sincere interest in the welfare of others. Just the thought that you are available when someone may need it is reassuring. However, promises not kept, even those made with good intentions, decrease credibility and trust.

6. Include others.

Going to see the latest movie and only have two people in your car? Have extra tickets to a great upcoming concert? Invite someone who really wants to go or someone from another group of friends. Keeping others in mind, even for simple things like lunch or a movie, lets people know that they are on your mind and that you feel their friendship and company has value. They will undoubtedly return the favor, allowing you to meet new people and remain connected.

7. Don’t forget your manners.

When out and about, remember to introduce yourself! A simple introduction breaks down many of the social nerves and barriers that popular people seem to avoid. And if you have invited friends out with a new group of people, be a good host and make sure to introduce them as well.

Advertising

8. Step outside of yourself.

Be sure to take moments for purposeful introspection. Evaluate your self-image and what impression you may be leaving on others. Ask friends or others what impression you give off and what things may inadvertently be affecting your social impression. Traits like a lack of eye contact, crossed arms, mumbling, and others may not be easily diagnosed and worked on unless pointed out by someone outside of yourself. Assessing your social skills shows the areas that need more work on your way to becoming comfortable in all social situations.

9. Make eye contact.

Eye contact helps you come across as more engaged, friendly, and confident. Another benefit is that making eye contact forces you to put some of your mental energy into focusing on other people, which means you have less left over to get stuck in your head and think insecure thoughts. Getting comfortable is something that happens over time and not all at once as you manage the balance between staring and affirming eye contact.

10. Learn how to read body language and social cues. 

While this may seem like a difficult and expert social tactic, it is one that all those who are socially successful employ. Noticing things like mirrored body language when people are interested, folded arms when people are in disagreement or uncomfortable, or knowing how and when to exit a conversation are all tools that make social interaction much easier and smoother. There are many sites on the internet with information in this category.

Advertising

In the end, these “secrets” of a social butterfly are great in theory, but only truly effective when put into practice. And although the change does not happen overnight, deliberate effort will complete the metamorphosis from shy caterpillar to social butterfly.

How would you define “socially successful?” Are there any other tips that you have found useful?

More by this author

CJ Goulding

CJ Goulding is the Lead Organizer at Natural Leaders Network, building leaders and connections in and between humans.

11 Ways to Shine in Your Dream Job Interview 6 Practical Ways to Create an Accountability Culture in a Company 13 Inspiring Life Lessons from Steve Jobs 22 Things Everyone Always Forget to Be Thankful For 15 Important Things You Learn As The Elder Sibling

Trending in Communication

1 How to Crush Your Lack of Motivation and Always Stay Motivated 2 How To Find Meaning in Life: 9 Simple Ways 3 How to Stay Consistent and Realize Your Dreams 4 How to Find Happiness in Your Everyday Life 5 How to Find Inner Peace and Lasting Happiness

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on March 25, 2020

How to Crush Your Lack of Motivation and Always Stay Motivated

How to Crush Your Lack of Motivation and Always Stay Motivated

How many times have you not achieved your goals and let yourself down due to your lack of motivation? When you’re not wallowing in sadness and self-pity, you are too busy procrastinating till you can’t anymore and before you know it, you are part of vicious cycle of anxiety and stress.

Whether it’s losing weight or bringing your business to fruition – motivation is essential for growth and success in every sphere of our lives.

That said, it is not easy staying motivated. In order to constantly stay motivated, you need to take ownership of your life and consciously make efforts in that direction.

Well, it’s never too late to take matters in your hands and change the course of your life. Here are 11 effective ways to crush your lack of motivation and always stay motivated:

1. Write Your Goals

The power of writing goals down has always been underestimated. Why write when you can remember, right? Wrong.

Our thoughts are all over the place and the first step to achieve your goals is to organize your thoughts. So, write your goals down, however big or small they might be. Make them as specific as possible and assign deadlines to each of them.

As you write them down and revisit them regularly, they get further drilled in your head, taking you closer to your goals. Doing this small exercise helps you to remain focused, motivated and lets you track your progress with ease.

Start today – take to your laptop or a diary and get down to writing what you wish to achieve in life.

2. Beat Procrastination

Your lack of motivation and procrastination go hand in hand. Every time you procrastinate, your motivation levels take a greater hit. The only way to bring an end to this loop is to stop procrastinating.

Next time you find yourself putting off something for ‘later’, stop and assess the reasons behind it. Get to the root of the cause and eliminate it in order to overcome this poor habit of procrastinating which is sabotaging your life and mental health.

Take a look at this guide and learn how to beat procrastination:

Advertising

What Is Procrastination (And the Complete Guide to Stop Procrastinating)

When you finally overcome procrastination, you will realize the positive impact it has on your mood and motivation levels.

3. Celebrate Small Wins

In the quest to achieve the bigger goals in life, we often forget to celebrate the smaller wins along the way. An achievement is an achievement – be it big or small, it deserves to be acknowledged and celebrated.

Finished a project on time? Reward yourself. Managed to run on the treadmill for a good one hour? Pat yourself on the back. Found time to meditate? Celebrate it.

It is these small achievements that reinstate that we are on the right path and take us one step closer to the bigger goals.

So, get into the habit of recognizing and appreciating small wins. You will be surprised to see how this practice helps you stay motivated.

4. Practice Gratitude

It’s easier to whine about what we don’t have rather than counting our blessings. Isn’t it?

Making gratefulness a part of your life is a very important step to retain high motivational levels. It revitalizes our spirits and renews our enthusiasm for life.

So, how do you practice gratitude? For starters, keep a gratitude journal to jot down what you are grateful for, express your gratitude to people you love and spread positivity wherever you go. If you need some inspiration to be thankful for, here it is:

60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life

By doing so, you begin to focus more on what you have rather than what you don’t and that is a great start to stay motivated.

Advertising

5. Be Optimistic

Life is not always hunky dory. There will be bad days when things aren’t going in your favor, when you feel lost and all you want to do is give up.

At such times, instead of letting negativity take over your life, adopt an optimistic approach to life. Quit overthinking, ask the right questions and focus on finding solutions.

Yes, there will be hurdles along the way but if you hang on to positive affirmations and hopes, the journey will be a lot smoother. So, with every passing day, sow the seeds of positivity and you are sure to build a positive environment around you.

6. Don’t Dwell on the Past

A lot of times, our lack of motivation stems from the habit of dwelling on the past. This gives rise to fear and regrets, preventing us from making progress in the present day.

Dwelling on the past is nothing but a waste of time. Understand that the past is long gone, and you cannot do anything to change that.

What you can do is make your present day worthwhile. Instead of looking back and having regrets, learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself and move on.

So, the next time you find your mind wandering off to the past, be determined to change the way you think and consciously concentrate on living in the present. This guide can help you:

10 Simple Steps To Let Go Of The Past

7. Face your Fears

You can never find motivation where there is fear. Identify the fear that is pulling you back and tackle it.

If you don’t face your fear head on, you cannot expect to conquer it and renew your motivation.

Ask yourself: What is stopping you? What are you scared of?

Advertising

Once you accept your fear, you can work on an action plan and think of solutions to overcome it. This article will give you some effective tips on conquering your fears:

How to Overcome Your Irrational Fears (That Stop You from Succeeding)

Seek external help if required but don’t choose to turn a blind eye over your fears – it will only aggravate matters.

8. Visualize your Success

You must have heard the famous quote, ‘see it to believe it’. That is exactly what visualization is about.

One of the most effective self-motivation techniques, visualizing the process to your desired outcome helps you move in a positive direction and achieve your goal.

Close your eyes and focus all your energies on the minutest of details that will take you where you want to reach. Doing this exercise everyday inspires you to keep going and not lose hope. The vision of attaining success will drive you to do better while instilling belief and confidence.

9. Find Inspiration

Can’t seem to find inspiration inwards? Don’t panic. There are plenty of external sources to gain inspiration from.

From motivational books and quotes to speeches, films and apps – it is a good idea to take help from motivational material to rekindle your spirits and regain your motivation.

Everyone is wired differently. For instance, a self-help book might work for your friend, but it might do nothing to move you. So, find what inspires you and turn to it when you are in desperate need for motivation.

Finding inspiration externally fills you with hope and sometimes that is all you need.

10. Enjoy Downtime

You are clearly exhausted with all the running you’re doing in life. So much, that you don’t even have time to stop and think what’s causing you so much unhappiness. All you know is that you are lacking motivation and everyday seems to have become a struggle.

Advertising

Now, that’s certainly not how you should live the rest of your life.

You need to schedule downtime for yourself, relax and give your mind and body some rest. Take a vacation, indulge in hobbies, meet some friends, put your hair down and stop with all the overthinking. It is important to do things that make you happy in order to think clearly and stay motivated.

11. Meditate Regularly

Meditation lets you take control of your mind. It improves focus and concentration while helping you relax.

Whenever you have had a tough day or find your thoughts going places, the best way to calm yourself down is by closing your eyes and meditating. It helps you to remove all the unnecessary frills in life and keeps you on the right track.

Include meditation in your daily schedule and you are sure to see an improvement in your productivity and motivation.

The Bottom Line

Practicing these simple exercises isn’t the tough part, what’s tough is religiously doing them every day.

However, don’t expect to get rid of your lack of motivation overnight. There will still be days when you will be low on energy but by making these conscious efforts to stay motivated, you are sure to see a vast change in your perspective and your response to bad days.

So, start today and be committed to making a positive change in your life.

More Tips About Staying Motivated

Featured photo credit: Sonnie Hiles via unsplash.com

Read Next