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10 Reasons Why Introverts Are Incredibly Attractive People

10 Reasons Why Introverts Are Incredibly Attractive People

Introverts are often thought of as shy, aloof, disinterested and “stuck up” because they keep a low profile. But that assumption couldn’t be further from the truth. Think of James Bond for a moment.

Bond doesn’t always wear his emotions on his sleeve — or on his face. He is quiet, pensive, confident and driven. Do you think his demeanor makes him more or less attractive? His style makes him more attractive.

Similarly, introverts don’t center themselves as the life of the party, but they are among the most incredibly attractive and fascinating people you’ll ever meet. Here’s why:

1. They are mysterious.

Introverts have an mysterious aura about them. People want to know what they are thinking, but will never know all of it. This makes introverts incredibly fascinating and intimidating at the same time. It is no wonder that they are so extremely misunderstood by the more outgoing and vocal people in our society.

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2. They are easy to be around.

It might surprise you, but introverts are some of the nicest and friendliest people you’ll ever meet. They are naturally chilled out, relaxed and loving. In a world that is always in a rush and that can’t stop talking and clamoring for the limelight, the introvert’s cool and laid-back nature is extremely appealing. It is true that introverts are drained by crowds, but they thrive in small groups and one-on-one interactions.

3. They are dreamers.

Despite what you may have heard, dreaming is anything but a waste of time. Psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman and colleagues explain that a mind that wonders aids in the process of “creative incubation.” You may already know from experience that our best ideas come seemingly out of the blue when our minds are elsewhere.

Introverted people get lost in their minds often and come out of them with refreshing and wonderful ideas. When you are with them you are fascinated and feel like a part of the magic because of the way they treat you and let you in on intriguing, new possibilities.

4. They are good listeners

It seems everyone in our extroverted world today is preoccupied with themselves and what’s on their own mind. Every day is like a shouting contest where everyone wants to speak and no one wants to listen. So, when someone shows an interest in another and is willing to listen, it’s a huge attractor. Introverts listen more than they speak. They listen with the view to understand and not merely to reply. And that is incredibly rare and special. It boosts stronger connections and healthier relationships.

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5. They are intrinsically motivated.

As inwardly-oriented people, introverts tend to be intrinsically motivated. That means they are motivated to act by deeper, internal convictions rather than shallow, external motivations like reward and recognition.

They know who they are, what they want and what matters in their life. And that is why they are the ones most likely to pursue their true passions despite the risks and inconveniences involved. Anyone who is self-driven, motivated by higher values and passionate is undeniably attractive and inspiring.

6. They are observant.

Introverts see things others often miss or don’t see. The world is an introvert’s wonderland with possibilities everywhere. They are constantly taking in information in their quiet state and using it as fodder for creative expression. When you are with an introvert, nothing is lost. And it often seems like the introverted person always knows what you want even when you haven’t spelt it out, which is brilliant and endearing.

7. They are mindful of what they say.

Nothing makes you look stupid and unattractive faster than saying inappropriate things because you rushed to speak and did not take time to consider your words. Introverts don’t speak out of turn. In fact, they won’t speak at all unless they have something important to say. And when they do speak, they say just enough to pique your interest and leave you wanting more. The more they speak the more fascinated you become and the more you want to hear them speak.

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8. They are creative, out-of-the box thinkers.

According to studies by the psychologists Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and Gregory Feist, the most spectacularly creative people in many fields are often introverted. That’s largely because solitude is a key ingredient for creative success. Introverts have no fear of being alone. They actually cherish privacy and freedom from interruption. In the state of solitude, introverts get in touch with their inner monologue, ask the right questions and flex their creative muscles.

Author Susan Cain notes that, “Without introverts, the world would be devoid of: the theory of gravity; the theory of relativity; W. B. Yeats’s “The Second Coming”; Chopin’s nocturnes; Proust’s In Search of Lost Time; Peter Pan…” and so on.

That natural tendency to embrace solitude, focus deeply on a subject, think and act creatively makes introverts, past and present, gloriously remarkable and attractive people.

9. They are studious and smart.

Introverts are naturally drawn to reading and study. They enjoy learning and figuring out new things for themselves. And while they might be dubbed book worms, they are smart. And a smart person is sexy and attractive. You are better off spending time with someone who’s knowledgeable and eagerly interested in learning more, than someone who is ignorant and disinterested.

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10. They are intellectually stimulating.

Because introverts are studious and self-reflective, their conversations are intellectually stimulating. They know all kinds of things to share with others. And there is something magical and beautiful about someone who lights up and is energized by meaningful, intelligent conversations.

Featured photo credit: Qsimple, Memories For The Future Photography via flickr.com

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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