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10 Milestones No Parent Should Miss

10 Milestones No Parent Should Miss

Milestones. Some big, some small. All important.

Milestones are big parts of our life which have have a substantial effect on, or are big steps in our progress as a person. Below is ten milestones which parents should not miss!

1. First Steps

The day your child takes their first steps is miraculous. That momentous event that only happens once but is forever ingrained into your memory. When they get up and take one slow step at a time while you try to contain an insurmountable feeling of pride – after all, your child is walking! This is something which they will do for the rest of their life. One, if not the most basic action they can do but an action what is limitless.

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2. First Words

It could be “Mummy” or “Daddy” or something completely strange! Either way, your child’s first words are a tear-summoning thing. To hear their own, independent voice. The feeling that they will go great places and that words will help them there. First words can be something to laugh about at an 18th birthday party or something to sit back and smile about when you’re down. Thinking back to those first words are a way to summon great happiness and comfort. You know that they might one day anger you but you also know deep down that whatever they say, it is something special as their voice is from you. This isn’t a moment to miss!

3. First Birthday

Every birthday is special but today they have been with you for one year. It’s been a quick year too! Through all the crying and diaper-changing, you have managed to pull through for the first year! It’s all up hill from here right? It’s a celebration for them but also for you. You have cared for this complex but beautiful being in front of you for a whole year. All the presents they have got, you know they don’t fully understand what it’s for but you can tell they have enjoyed the attention. Their first birthday is such a special moment in your shared development.

4. First Day Of School

If I remember correctly, on my first day of school, I cried about whether or not my jumper was alright.

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The first day of school is a massive thing. It begins the start of a very long and eventful journey. School trips, tests and success: whatever your child does, school has created some success in them. On the video of me getting ready for the first time, I was so excited and didn’t even know how to put on the pair of trousers I had (my dad came and helped me put them on). No matter how old they are, if you capture this moment, it will always put a smile on your faces. There’s something about this occasion that is very special. It hits you that they are actually growing up and you can’t do anything about it.

5. Prom

You stand there, smiling as you take the picture. Your little one suddenly looks so much older. The memory of the time you spent on the beach when they were only a year old flashes in front of your eyes. He turns and poses with his date. You can imagine that in 10 or 20 years, he might be getting married. It hits you and you feel a twist in your gut. Prom is the day when your little one shows you how mature they are. Either in that smart suit, looking like a gentleman or wearing that dress and necklace you got her for her birthday. Prom is a very special occasion, don’t miss it or you might miss them growing up.

6. Leaving home

This gut-wrenching moment is the day you realize that your child isn’t yours any more. They are their own person. No matter how many times you tell yourself it won’t happen, it comes to the day when you wake up and immediately feel heart-broken.

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The day they leave.

Every time you walk past their old room a little bit of you screams inside. Although it may be a tough milestone to go through, don’t miss it – even if it’s just for them. They will be ecstatic at the idea of living alone and will want to share that with you.

7. Graduation

The day your now not-so little one graduates is a massive thing in their life. It opens the door to so many new opportunities. Whether a great job, new experiences or even meeting new people. Graduation signifies the end to a very long era of your child’s life. No more education and into employment with their shiny, new qualifications! Lots of tears will be shared at graduation but it is a wonderful thing to watch. Seeing your child shake hands and succeed. Going back to their friends with a grin on their face!

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8. First House

“Knock, Knock, Knock”

Something seems strange about this. Asking to be let into a house; but not any house – your child’s. It seems so strange but as they open the doors with a big, welcoming smile on their face everything seems natural. They seem so comfortable in this environment – as if they’ve lived there all their life. It’s not something to just shrug off as a small moment in their life. This symbolizes the start of their independence in the world, completely self-sufficient from now on. A scary thought but it gives you a warm feeling inside, knowing you’ve succeeded.

9. Marriage

The music plays as everyone turns around. The bride walks slowly but with purpose. While the groom stands, a tear in his eye. These two people seem so strange to you, you don’t know them, surely? But you seem to recognize one of them? It’s your child. The person who you used to bath and tuck into bed. The little voice who would say “I love you” as you turn off the light. You remember all their birthdays; the look of amazement and excitement as they want to rip into their presents. Now you’re stood here, watching them in awe. They seem so full of purpose and calm, so different from the little baby that cried in it’s cot all night. Marriage is an incredibly important moment in your child’s life. They have found someone they are happy with, someone who they care about and want to spend the rest of their life with.

10. Birth of your grandchild

The birth of your grandchild is such an amazing idea. The life you brought into the world is now in your shoes, looking down at a wide-eyed baby which they pledge to bring up in the world with love and care. You get into the hospital at 3 o’clock in the morning and you run to where your new grandchild is. As you walk into the room you have to stifle a gasp as you see them. Seeing your grandchild for the first time is like seeing your child for the time. It plucks at your heartstrings and plays a beautiful serenade. A moment that will stay with you all your life. You see yourself in your child as they look into their child’s eyes.

Featured photo credit: eopath via flickr.com

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Last Updated on October 13, 2020

12 Things High Self-Esteem People Don’t Do

12 Things High Self-Esteem People Don’t Do

Having high self-esteem is important if you are aiming for personal or professional success. Interestingly, most people will high levels of self-esteem act in similar ways. That’s why it’s often easy to pick them out in a crowd. There’s something about the way they hold themselves and speak, isn’t there?

We all have different hopes, dreams, experiences, and paths, but confidence has its own universal language. This list will present some of the things you won’t find yourself doing if you have high self-esteem.

1. Compare Yourself to Others

People with low self-esteem are constantly comparing their situation to others. On the other hand, people with higher self-esteem show empathy and compassion while also protecting their own sanity. They know how much they can handle and when they can offer a helping hand.

In the age of social media, however, social comparisons are nearly ubiquitous. One study found that “participants who used Facebook most often had poorer trait self-esteem, and this was mediated by greater exposure to upward social comparisons on social media”[1]. Basically, you will feel worse about yourself if you are constantly getting glimpses into lives that you consider to be better than yours.

Try to limit your time on social media. Also, when you do start scrolling, keep in mind that each profile is carefully crafted to create the appearance of a perfect life. Check yourself when you find yourself wishing for greener grass.

2. Be Mean-Spirited

People with low self-esteem bully others. They take pleasure in putting other people down. People with positive self-esteem see no need to down other people, choosing instead to encourage and celebrate successes.

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If you find that you feel the need to put others down, analyze where that’s coming from. If they’ve had success in life, help them feel good about that achievement. They may do the same for you one day.

3. Let Imperfection Ruin Your Day

Perfectionism isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but obsessing over making everything perfect is a sign that you have low self-esteem and can lead to never-ending negative thoughts. This can turn into an inability to solve problems creatively, which will only make self-esteem issues worse. 

Those with high self-esteem disconnect from the results and do their best without expecting perfection.

People with that kind of confidence understand that messing up is a part of life and that each time they aim and miss success, they’ll at least learn something along the way.

If you miss the mark, or if your plan doesn’t work out exactly as you would have liked, take a deep breath and see if you can pivot in order to do better next time.

4. Dwell on Failure

It’s common to hear people dwelling on all the ways things will go wrong. They are positive that their every failure signals an impossible task or an innate inability to do something. People with healthy self-esteem discover why they failed and try again.

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People with higher levels of confidence also tend to adopt a growth mindset[2]. This type of thinking supports the idea that most of your abilities can be improved and altered, as opposed to being fixed.

For example, instead of saying, “I’m just not good at math; that’s why I did bad on the test,” someone with a growth mindset would say, “Math is difficult for me, so I’ll have to put in some more practice to improve next time.”

Next time you experience a failure, check out this video to help you believe in yourself again:

5. Devalue Your Self-Esteem

People with high self-esteem value their own perception of themselves – they understand that they come first and don’t feel guilty about taking care of themselves. They believe charity starts within, and if they don’t believe that, they’ll never have a healthy self-image.

Self-care is often top of the priority list for people with self-esteem. For some ways to practice self-care, check out this article.

6. Try to Please Others

They can’t please all the people all the time, so confident people first focus on doing what will make them feel fulfilled and happy. While they will politely listen to others’ thoughts and advice, they know that their goals and dreams have to be completed on their own terms.

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7. Close Yourself off

Confident people have the ability to be vulnerable. It’s those with poor self-esteem that hide all the best parts of themselves behind an emotional wall. Instead of keeping the real you a secret, be open and honest in all your dealings.

As Brené Brown, author of Daring Greatly, points out, “Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen”[3]. When you embrace each facet of who you are and allow others to see them as well, it will create deeper, more meaningful connections in your life. When that happens, you’ll realize that perfection doesn’t lead to people liking you more.

You can learn more about the power of vulnerability in this TED talk with Brené Brown:

8. Follow and Avoiding Leading

People with low self-esteem don’t believe they can lead, so they end up following others, sometimes into unhealthy situations. Rather than seeking a sense of belonging, people with high self-esteem walk their own paths and create social circles that build them up.

9. Fish for Compliments

If you’re constantly seeking compliments, you’re not confident. People with high self-esteem always do their best (and go out of their way to do good deeds) because it’s what they want to do, not because they’re seeking recognition. If you need to hear compliments, say them to yourself in the mirror.

You can even try some positive affirmations if you need a confidence boost. Check out these affirmations to get started.

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10. Be Lazy

People work harder when they have high self-esteem because they’re not bogged down by doubts and complaints. Those with low self-esteem end up procrastinating and wasting their energy thinking about all the work they have to do rather than rolling up their sleeves and just getting it done.

This may also bounce off perfectionism. Perfectionists often feel intimidated by certain projects if they fear that they won’t be able to complete them perfectly. Tap into your confidence and simply do your best without worrying about a perfect outcome.

11. Shy Away from Risks

When you trust yourself, you’ll be willing to participate more in life. People with low self-esteem are always on the sidelines, waiting for the perfect moment to jump in. Instead of letting life pass you by, have confidence in your success and take the risks necessary to succeed.

12. Gossip

People with low self-esteem are always in other peoples’ business – they’re more interested in what everyone else is doing than themselves. People with high self-esteem are more interested in their own life and stay out of others’ affairs.

Instead of participating in idle gossip, talk about some positive news you heard recently, or that fascinating book you just finished. There’s plenty to talk about beyond what this or that person did wrong in their life.

The Bottom Line

Self-esteem is to success in life. People who maintain a healthy level of self-esteem believe in themselves and push themselves to succeed, while those with low confidence feel a sense of entitlement.

If you need a boost in your self-image and mental health, avoid negative self-talk and the other mistakes of people with low self-esteem. You’ll be amazed at the difference it makes.

More Tips on Building Confidence

Featured photo credit: Christina @ wocintechchat.com via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Psychology of Popular Media Culture: Social comparison, social media, and self-esteem
[2] Brain Pickings: Fixed vs. Growth: The Two Basic Mindsets That Shape Our Lives
[3] Forbes: Brene Brown: How Vulnerability Can Make Our Lives Better

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