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10 Little Things Happy Couples Do Every Day

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10 Little Things Happy Couples Do Every Day

Have you ever wondered what happens after all of those fairy tales marriages? What do Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Rapunzel, and all other beauties and their charming princes do to make the happily-ever-after work out?

Well, it doesn’t take a genius to guess, right? If you are in a healthy relationship, or are happily married, you won’t need to draw inspirations from Disney characters. You have your own fairy tale, written only by you two.

So, what actually makes us happy couples? We don’t need gems, bling, cash, and all other worldly valuables to stay content. There are little little things we do everyday that are capable of making us joyous. My husband and I are happily married, and what we do everyday is not worth millions dollars!

1. They communicate.

Communicating is a form of bonding. Having a real conversation at least once a day is enough to wipe away any form of misunderstanding. If you are bothered about something or have an objection to something your partner is doing, talk.

Tell that to your companion, strike up a conversation. Please do not nag or complain, only seeing the faults in them. Appreciate the positives, rather than the negatives. Keeping your partner in the loop of your daily activities is another form of communication. In this way, you are not missing out on each other’s day-to-day affairs.

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2. They grow common interest.

Sharing some common interests (not all) with your partner is a sign of healthy relationship. Happy couples tend to enjoy each other’s company no matter what they are doing.

You may not be fond of his obsession with NFL, or he may not enjoy watching Desperate Housewives with you, but there are certain things that you two can do together.

Let’s take cooking as an example. You guys can cook up meals you always found challenging. Or, start gardening. Take baby steps, and you two can grow a beautiful garden together.

3. They spend time together.

With a fast paced life, it is hard to find spare time for personal entertainment. Why don’t you take at least half an hour from your busy schedule, and utilize it? You can meet up for lunch rendezvous, or go for a grocery date.

On the weekends do something different. For instance, go to a drive-in movie. Even if you are not interested in the movie, you can always sit back with popcorn and drinks, and enjoy each other’s company under the sky.

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4. They cuddle huddle.

Going to bed at the same time doesn’t always mean having sex. You can simply lie down with your partner under the blanket and cuddle huddle. Do you know that there has been research that shows how smelling your partner while cuddling has a positive effect on your relationship?

The body odor of your partner has certain chemical keys that instigate comfort or a sense of security in you. Therefore, cuddling is a special response to a healthy relationship.

5. They hug and peck.

For some, this may sound like a silly thing to do everyday (I know few couples who don’t hug and kiss each other. Only God knows why.), but this “silly” matter is actually a powerful medicine to keep you two happy.

Before heading out to work, and after coming back home, commit to squeezy, beary hugs and kisses. Make this a ritual; you two won’t be able to let go of it, trust me! Happy couples usually stamp kisses and cling on their partners whenever they feel like. I guess that’s why they are happy, right?

6. They signify I “heart” you everyday.

Expressing “I Love You” all the time may seem monotonous to you, but that’s not true. I call these the “magic words.” Uttering the magic words twice a day is sufficient, especially before going to work, and before hitting the sack. You and your partner know how much you care and love each other. Regardless, verbalize the words because “it’s only words, and words are all I have, to take your heart away.” — Boyzone

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7. They have a sense of humor.

One of the reasons why I fell in love with my man was because of his sense of humor. He cracks the silliest of jokes at unexpected times. And he has the ability to make me laugh for hours! Cracking jokes every now and then has a positive impact on a relationship.

I can’t imagine my life surrounded by serious people. I need humor. And so do you! Happy couples know the right time to be witty. And laughing even at the lamest jokes on earth can increase the level of love between the two of you.

8. They switch off their ringers.

Most of your time is spent at work. The other time is spent doing miscellaneous works, including eating and sleeping. So whatever leftover time you have, utilize it for each other. Stop browsing the internet, socializing in all respects, and simply hit the power button. Switch off your phones, and be connected with your partner face to face. You’ll love it!

9. They believe in PDA.

Happy couples enjoy PDA. No, it’s not a Personal Digital Assistant. It stands for Public Display of Affection. Walking while holding hands or just a random hug while waiting on the signals, a little kiss on the cheeks, or my personal favorite, acting strangers.

Sometimes, while waiting for the train, I will simply strike up a conversation with my partner as if I met him for the first time, and would continue doing that till we reach our destination. It brings enough entertainment to last for the day.

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10. They plan their futures together.

Planning your futures can take two forms. One, you sit down with calendars, calculators, and note pads. Two, you have a deep and meaningful conversations on future plans for your lives together. For example, happy couples have a custom of planning everything together, regardless of how trivial the matter is.

You two are a team, so work like a team. Make everything happen together, whether it is related to the children, you sex life, your career, or your plans for buying a house. Planning makes your bond stronger and enriches your journey together.

Do you know the definition of happy couple? It is: he does what she wants, and she does what she wants.

Just kidding! Happy couples never have the same character. And they have a good understanding of their differences. It doesn’t take a lot of effort; small gestures are enough to make you two live happily ever after!

More by this author

Sumaiya Kabir

Sumaiya is a passionate writer who shares thoughts and ideas to help people improve themselves.

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

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How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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