“Stories affirm who we are. We all want affirmations that our lives have meaning. And nothing does a greater affirmation than when we connect through stories.” – Andrew Stanton.
Below I would like to explore the 10 revelations I’ve experienced from the stories of 10 animated movies that inspired, provoked and touched me.
1. Arthur Christmas
Takeaway: You will get what you work for, not what you wish for.
In “Arthur Christmas,” unlike his brother, Steve, Arthur never aspires to be a Santa but is compassionately concerned with delivering a missing gift to little Gwen Hines, which is the core requisite to be a Santa. At the end of the film he becomes Santa. So the film’s affirmation is to work for what you believe in not just wish for it. Success will arrive when you are the least concerned about it — because you might have deserved it by then.
When Gwen Hines eagerly gets down to grab the gift under the Christmas tree from Santa.
After a quarrel amongst the Clauses as to who is going to give Gwen her gift, the family realize that Arthur is the only one who truly cares about Gwen’s feelings and he is allowed to deliver the gift.
Gwen Hines: Santa brought me the bike I wanted!
[Then as Arthur is watching little Gwen unwrapping the present in awe …]
Grand Santa: Steve, you deserve to be Santa, but Steve, I wonder if Gwen is right.
[Then Steve accepts his brother as the new Santa.]
Takeaway: Someone special will always make you special.
Many of us worry about choosing our partner, but make sure you opt for someone who inspires you, supports you and makes you feel special, not someone who drains energy out of you. Someone special will always make you special. In “Rio,” Blu is a pet and can’t fly initially, but having met Jewel he does things he couldn’t do earlier. Jewel literally transforms Blu in all ways and makes him special.
When Jewel falls out of a plane and can’t fly due to injury, Blu literally jumps out to protect her, being aware of the fact that he can’t fly.
Jewel: Blu, you are crazy. What are you doing?
Blu: I’m not gonna let you go. We are chained-to-each-other birds, remember?Advertising
[Then magic happens, Blu starts flying…]
Jewel: Blu, you are flying … you are flying!
Blu: Yeah, I’m flying, ohoooooo … I’m really flying! You are right: I’m not an ostrich, I’m not an ostrich!
3. Finding Nemo
Takeaway: Go on a quest by faith, not by sight. You will be rewarded nevertheless.
Marianne Williamson famously said, “As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others.” So if you believe in something, sometimes you have to just go by faith, not by sight. Had Marlin never gone on his quest, he wouldn’t have found Nemo. Had Nemo not tried to escape from the aquarium, he wouldn’t have reached his father. Both trusted their gut instincts and defied the odds to come through, finally reaping love.
After rescuing the fish from a trap, Nemo lies still on the ocean bed while his dad, Marlin, rushes eagerly to his little son.
Somehow this subtext moment brings me tears, particularly the mere mention of Sandy Plankton. It’s not actually about Sandy Plankton, it’s all about the daring quest of Marlin against the vast and deep ocean.
Nemo: Daddy, I won’t hate you anymore.
Marlin: Oh, no, no, no. I’m so sorry, Nemo.
Marlin: Hey. Guess what?
Marlin: Sea turtles? I met one, and he was a hundred and fifty years old.
Nemo: Hundred and fifty?
Nemo: Oh. ‘Cause Sandy Plankton said that they only live to be a hundred.
Marlin: Sandy Plankton? You think I would travel the whole ocean and not know as much as Sandy Plankton? He was a hundred and fifty, not a hundred.
4. Kung Fu Panda
Takeaway: To be someone special, you just have to believe that you are special.Advertising
There is no secret to anything, it just takes belief. Once you believe that, you can make anything happen. This is how Po realizes the true meaning of his own reflection in the Dragon Scroll in “Kung Fu Panda.” Belief is everything. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen at your will and nothing can stop you.
Having lost hope from an empty Dragon Scroll, Po tries to vacate the village along with his father, Mr. Ping, while he reveals the secret ingredient of the secret soup.
Mr. Ping: The secret ingredient is … nothing!
Mr. Ping: You heard me. Nothing! There is no secret ingredient.
Po: Wait; wait … it’s just plain old noodle soup? You don’t add some kind of special sauce or something?
Mr. Ping: Don’t have to. To make something special you just have to believe it’s special.
[Po looks at the scroll again, and sees his reflection in it.]
Po: There is no secret ingredient! [Goes to fight with Tylon.]
Takeaway: Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere.
There is an artist in everyone but many of us are afraid to take the leap, doubting our abilities. Nobody is entitled to become a great artist based on personal advantages and vested interests, but everyone can become an artist provided they are decisive and passionate about it. It’s all about choice, not about opportunities. If a rat could become a fine chef in “Ratatouille,” why can’t we become anything we aspire to be? You may argue that it’s just a fiction, but every fiction is a figment of someone’s imagination, inspired by truth.
When Anton Ego writes a critique about the new Chef Ratatouille defying his own conventions.
Anton Ego: The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations. The new needs friends. Last night, I experienced something new: an extraordinary meal from a singularly unexpected source. To say that both the meal and its maker have challenged my preconceptions about fine cooking is a gross understatement. They have rocked me to my core. In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau’s famous motto, “Anyone can cook.” But I realize, only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist; but a great artist can come from anywhere.
Takeaway: The worst part in your life could turn out to be the best part later.
Lightning McQueen, the super race car in the film, accidentally ends up in a small town called Radiator Springs. He is desperate to win the Piston Cup Race, which is going to be held in Los Angeles in a week, but he is forced to stay in the small town until he mends the road he destroyed. However, after initial hesitation, he begins to develop a beautiful bonding with the people there and he finds something beyond Piston Cup: love and family. “Cars” had a very simple lesson to tell: sometimes the worst possible things that happen in your life could turn out to be the best ones later. You may not understand why initially, but later you realize those moments actually define you.
Mater: I knew it! I knew I made a good choice!
Lightning McQueen: In what?
Mater: My best friend. [Referring to Lightning McQueen.]
7. Despicable me
Takeaway: It’s all about family.
Family is not an important thing: it’s everything. Life is all about human bonding. Stop searching fanatically for other possessions and just find your “family.” In “Despicable Me,” Gru desperately wants to steal the moon, but in due course, after adopting three little kids for selfish gains, he paradoxically finds a love that changes his perceptions forever. He is not the same person anymore.
When Gru reads a made up story of his own to the three little kids in in a moment of retrospection.
Gru: [reading the book he wrote] One big unicorn, strong and free, thought he was happy as he could be. Then three little kittens came around and turned his whole life upside down. They made him laugh, they made him cry. He never should have said goodbye. And now he knows he can never part from those three little kittens that changed his heart.
Takeaway: We are many leaves from one tree, nobody is alone.
A lot of us worry about circumstances that demand our resilience, and we feel self-pity, telling ourselves, “I’m alone.” But for your kind information, you’re not alone. And the world out there is not as bad as you think. Whenever you are feeling alone, depressed and hopeless, don’t worry. Keep on trying and seek help from people in all the ways you can. You’ll be never left alone; actually, we all are connected.
When Nod comes to rescue Ronin while he is trying to protect the pod from dying.
Mandrake: What’s that little saying you people have? “Lots of leaves, something, something …” Very inspiring. But in the end, every leaf falls and dies alone.
[Lifts his sword to kill Ronin, but right before it hits, a leaf man sword blocks its way in the nick of time. It proves to be Nod.]
Nod: No one is alone. Not even him.Advertising
9. How to Train Your Dragon
Takeaway: Never judge others cynically.
Judging is easy but understanding is difficult, that is the reason most of us are quick to judge. Before leaping to judgment, try to understand others’ perspective. You never know what they might have been going through. In “How to Train Your Dragon,” Stoick has fixed notions based on his prejudices, but Hiccup tries to understand dragons from their perspective. Once he does that, the whole island is saved and dragons become residents. A considered understanding without judging is all we need for the betterment of our lives.
When Stoick finds out that Hiccup is actually trying to defend Toothless, his dragon.
Hiccup: I screwed up. I should have told you before now; just … take this out on me, be mad at me, but please, just don’t hurt Toothless!
Stoick: [shocked] The dragon? That’s what you’re worried about? Not the people you almost killed?
Hiccup: H-he was just protecting me! He’s not dangerous!
Stoick: They’ve killed hundreds of us!
Hiccup: And we’ve killed thousands of them! They defend themselves, that’s all! They raid us because they have to! If they don’t bring enough food back, they’ll be eaten themselves! There’s, something else on their island, Dad, it … It’s a dragon like …
10. Kung Fu Panda 2
Takeaway: Know yourself first.
It’s all about you. Carl Jung famously said, “Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.” Once you discover yourself, nothing seems to bother you, like Po in “Kung Fu Panda 2.” From the beginning of the film, Po is always searching for inner peace. Once he finds it, he can face anything in the world, even the deadly weapon he couldn’t face before. It’s a beautiful metaphor to explain that one has to fight with one’s inner demons first. Once you do that, demons from outside don’t actually matter.
The final confrontation when Po ruins everything that Shen dreamed of.
Shen: How did you find peace? I took away your parents, everything. I scarred you for life.
Po: See that’s the thing, Shen, scars heal.
Shen: No, they don’t. Wounds heal.
Po: Oh, yeah? What do scars do? They fade, I guess …
Shen: I don’t care what scars do!
Po: You should, Shen. You got to let go of the stuff from the past because it just doesn’t matter! The only thing that matters is what you choose to be now.
Last Updated on March 30, 2020
What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)
Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.
You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.
This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.
Table of Contents
What Does Self-Conscious Mean?
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”
Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.
There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.
How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious
When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.
Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.
1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”
One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.
The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?
Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them. They’re just thoughts, after all.
2. Be Honest
A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.
If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.
On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.
Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.
3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work
Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.
If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout. Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.
4. Succeed at Something
When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.
Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.
5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness
Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.
Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.
If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.
If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.
Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.
6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control
Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.
You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.
On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.
You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.
7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments
Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.
Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.
Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.
When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?
Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing, but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.
In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.
Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.
It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.
When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.
The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.
Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.
Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.
Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.
More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem
- How to Build Self Esteem (A Guide to Realize Your Hidden Power)
- How to Gain Confidence and Really Boost Your Self Esteem
- Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know
- How to Be Confident: 62 Proven Ways to Build Self-Confidence
Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com
|||^||Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious|
|||^||Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself|
|||^||Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout|
|||^||Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It|
|||^||Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine|
|||^||Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?|
|||^||Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware|