“Parents are teachers, guides, leaders, protectors, and providers for their children.” – Iyanla Vanzant
Parenting starts from the moment your test result comes back positive. After the delivery, it becomes a full time job for both parents. Whether you are the parents of one child, or multiple, it is always a frantic business, but of course enjoyable too! You just have to know the right time to do the right thing. Otherwise, you are in a tight spot.
Look, I am not trying to alarm you. I am a mom of a toddler and a baby so I know that sometimes you need guidance to show whether you are raising your kids the right way, or whether you are doing the right thing. It does not matter if you are experiencing parenthood for the first time or you have been parenting for a long time, it is always beneficial to learn a thing or two. It is said that a worried mother does a better research than the FBI. Here is a list of 10 parenting books I think are important for you and your partner.
This is a perfect book for the new generation of expectant moms. This book contains relevant informations on everything and includes answers to bundles of questions, detailed week-by-week fetal development in each of the monthly chapters, and sections on pre-conception and on carrying multiples. The fourth edition deals with the most recent developments in obstetrics, addresses current lifestyles, and is overflowing with tips, helpful hints, and humor.Advertising
Dr. Harvey Karp discloses an incredible treasure, sought after by almost all parents: how to automatically “switch-off” your baby’s crying. This star doctor has not only successfully influenced pediatricians and working mothers, but also made superstars like Madonna and Pierce Brosnan, turn to him for help. This book will make both the parents and the babies happy since, according to Dr. Karp, calming babies now is as easy as turning off the lights!
Daniel J. Siegel, neuropsychiatric, and Tina Payne Bryson, parenting expert, teamed up to produce a constructive book that offers a state-of-the-art viewpoint to child educating, with 12 key strategies that contribute to healthy brain development leading to calmer, happier children. According to the authors, this book talks about the new science that shows how a child’s brain is wired, and how it matures. This will definitely aid you to the path of nurturing your child to a healthy, emotional, and intellectual development so that your child can lead a proper, balanced, and an equate life.
This book literally talks about all the points covering common problems, and building a foundation for lasting relationships in very innovating ways. The book covers coping with your child’s negative feelings, expressing your strong emotions with hurting your child, punishments, self-discipline, and resolving internal conflicts. Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish did a brilliant job in making relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more fruitful. According to The Boston Globe, this is the ultimate “parenting bible”. This is a book every parent should have.
Every parent should read this before admitting their child to pre-school. More or less, parents seem to fret over the fact how much children should learn. The research, done by three highly talented child psychologists, shows the difference in how play plays a vital role in developing children in maths, reading, verbal communication, science, self-awareness, and social skills. And it is not through academics! This is a very captivating book.
It is accepted that siblings fighting with each other is just a way of life. In a way it’s referred to as sibling love. Well, I can already see my kids fight with each other every single day. Dr. Laura Markham has hands-on, research-based solutions for us, the parents. In this highly anticipated guide, she talks about the methods of cutting through the fights, bridging love for the siblings, and most importantly, how parents should maintain harmony, and a strong connection when siblings are going through disputes. The presentation is simple, yet powerful, and gives equal importance to each child. A significant book for the parents who are having trouble controlling rowdy kids all the time!
7. Design Mom
This is a handy book for all the moms out there who are struggling to keep the house sane from the stream of toys and clothes and what not! The author provides a detailed analysis of how to utilise the smallest of the spaces in your house, how to have a child-friendly environment, and how to design and decor your house with taste so that it tells your family’s story. This book is a room-by-room guide to keeping things organized, creative, and stylish.
A girl’s growing up depends a lot on the role her father plays. The author emphasises how a young woman’s relationship with her father is far more important than you can ever imagine. It talks about the beautiful bond fathers and daughters share, the life lessons a teen should learn from her father, which includes, self-respect, drugs, sex, and alcohol, and the importance of becoming a hero to the daughter, amongst other points. To become a strong, confident woman, she needs her father’s constant support, attention, courage, protection, and wisdom. This is the ideal book to give a helpful roadmap for concerned fathers.
Just like a father’s role can mold his daughter’s upbringing, a mother plays a vital role in bringing up her son. A mother needs to be strong enough to strengthen her relationship with her son. With the amount of challenges a young man faces nowadays, the burden falls on the mother to properly guide her son through them–which can feel overwhelming. A mother must be courageous, bold, and confident in guiding her son. One of the most crucial roles for a mother is to be someone to whom the son can look up to. This helps him gain respect for all of the women in his life. This book provides encouraging, educating, and practical advise for the mothers in building up their sons with self-esteem, support, and wisdom. This book is perfect for all the mothers who have a growing son at home.Advertising
The teen years are the most sensitive period of a girl’s life. This is where a mother can come and guide her through this transition.This book is divided into two parts. In the first part, the mothers are advised on how they should stop the cycle of separation and anxiety that bothers so many, and how to nurture the skills of listening, boundary setting, mirroring, containing, and more. The next part addresses the teens. It advises how they should keep it real with their mothers, while trusting them, and also finding strength in their intuition, friendships, and dreams. This book is packed with practical informations on this kind of relationship, a perfect fit for both mothers and daughters.
Parenting books are like the holy books: you read them and you follow them. Mahatma Gandhi once said, “There is no school equal to a decent home, and no teacher equal to a virtuous parent”. Be that virtuous parent, educate yourself, educate your children. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. So just be the real one.
Last Updated on January 16, 2020
12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now
The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.
However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.
“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous
Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.
1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.
When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.
Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success. As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’
2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).
That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”
Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.
3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.
If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.
For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.
People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.
This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.
4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.
Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.
Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!
Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.
Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
5. Crack a smile.
If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.
Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?
6. Break a sweat—with exercise.
Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.
And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.
7. Groom yourself.
This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.
A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.
8. Dress nicely.
Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.
While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.
9. Do activities you enjoy.
Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.
You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.
10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.
Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.
Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.
Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.
Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.
11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.
Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?
Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.
12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!
Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.
The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.
Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com
|||^||Psychology Today: Seeing Is Believing: The Power of Visualization|
|||^||Association of Psychological Science: Grin and Bear It! Smiling Facilitates Stress Recovery|
|||^||Science Daily: Want a better work-life balance? Exercise, study finds|
|||^||The New York Times: The Right Stance Can Be Reassuring|