“Parents are teachers, guides, leaders, protectors, and providers for their children.” – Iyanla Vanzant
Parenting starts from the moment your test result comes back positive. After the delivery, it becomes a full time job for both parents. Whether you are the parents of one child, or multiple, it is always a frantic business, but of course enjoyable too! You just have to know the right time to do the right thing. Otherwise, you are in a tight spot.
Look, I am not trying to alarm you. I am a mom of a toddler and a baby so I know that sometimes you need guidance to show whether you are raising your kids the right way, or whether you are doing the right thing. It does not matter if you are experiencing parenthood for the first time or you have been parenting for a long time, it is always beneficial to learn a thing or two. It is said that a worried mother does a better research than the FBI. Here is a list of 10 parenting books I think are important for you and your partner.
This is a perfect book for the new generation of expectant moms. This book contains relevant informations on everything and includes answers to bundles of questions, detailed week-by-week fetal development in each of the monthly chapters, and sections on pre-conception and on carrying multiples. The fourth edition deals with the most recent developments in obstetrics, addresses current lifestyles, and is overflowing with tips, helpful hints, and humor.Advertising
Dr. Harvey Karp discloses an incredible treasure, sought after by almost all parents: how to automatically “switch-off” your baby’s crying. This star doctor has not only successfully influenced pediatricians and working mothers, but also made superstars like Madonna and Pierce Brosnan, turn to him for help. This book will make both the parents and the babies happy since, according to Dr. Karp, calming babies now is as easy as turning off the lights!
Daniel J. Siegel, neuropsychiatric, and Tina Payne Bryson, parenting expert, teamed up to produce a constructive book that offers a state-of-the-art viewpoint to child educating, with 12 key strategies that contribute to healthy brain development leading to calmer, happier children. According to the authors, this book talks about the new science that shows how a child’s brain is wired, and how it matures. This will definitely aid you to the path of nurturing your child to a healthy, emotional, and intellectual development so that your child can lead a proper, balanced, and an equate life.
This book literally talks about all the points covering common problems, and building a foundation for lasting relationships in very innovating ways. The book covers coping with your child’s negative feelings, expressing your strong emotions with hurting your child, punishments, self-discipline, and resolving internal conflicts. Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish did a brilliant job in making relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more fruitful. According to The Boston Globe, this is the ultimate “parenting bible”. This is a book every parent should have.
Every parent should read this before admitting their child to pre-school. More or less, parents seem to fret over the fact how much children should learn. The research, done by three highly talented child psychologists, shows the difference in how play plays a vital role in developing children in maths, reading, verbal communication, science, self-awareness, and social skills. And it is not through academics! This is a very captivating book.
It is accepted that siblings fighting with each other is just a way of life. In a way it’s referred to as sibling love. Well, I can already see my kids fight with each other every single day. Dr. Laura Markham has hands-on, research-based solutions for us, the parents. In this highly anticipated guide, she talks about the methods of cutting through the fights, bridging love for the siblings, and most importantly, how parents should maintain harmony, and a strong connection when siblings are going through disputes. The presentation is simple, yet powerful, and gives equal importance to each child. A significant book for the parents who are having trouble controlling rowdy kids all the time!
7. Design Mom
This is a handy book for all the moms out there who are struggling to keep the house sane from the stream of toys and clothes and what not! The author provides a detailed analysis of how to utilise the smallest of the spaces in your house, how to have a child-friendly environment, and how to design and decor your house with taste so that it tells your family’s story. This book is a room-by-room guide to keeping things organized, creative, and stylish.
A girl’s growing up depends a lot on the role her father plays. The author emphasises how a young woman’s relationship with her father is far more important than you can ever imagine. It talks about the beautiful bond fathers and daughters share, the life lessons a teen should learn from her father, which includes, self-respect, drugs, sex, and alcohol, and the importance of becoming a hero to the daughter, amongst other points. To become a strong, confident woman, she needs her father’s constant support, attention, courage, protection, and wisdom. This is the ideal book to give a helpful roadmap for concerned fathers.
Just like a father’s role can mold his daughter’s upbringing, a mother plays a vital role in bringing up her son. A mother needs to be strong enough to strengthen her relationship with her son. With the amount of challenges a young man faces nowadays, the burden falls on the mother to properly guide her son through them–which can feel overwhelming. A mother must be courageous, bold, and confident in guiding her son. One of the most crucial roles for a mother is to be someone to whom the son can look up to. This helps him gain respect for all of the women in his life. This book provides encouraging, educating, and practical advise for the mothers in building up their sons with self-esteem, support, and wisdom. This book is perfect for all the mothers who have a growing son at home.Advertising
The teen years are the most sensitive period of a girl’s life. This is where a mother can come and guide her through this transition.This book is divided into two parts. In the first part, the mothers are advised on how they should stop the cycle of separation and anxiety that bothers so many, and how to nurture the skills of listening, boundary setting, mirroring, containing, and more. The next part addresses the teens. It advises how they should keep it real with their mothers, while trusting them, and also finding strength in their intuition, friendships, and dreams. This book is packed with practical informations on this kind of relationship, a perfect fit for both mothers and daughters.
Parenting books are like the holy books: you read them and you follow them. Mahatma Gandhi once said, “There is no school equal to a decent home, and no teacher equal to a virtuous parent”. Be that virtuous parent, educate yourself, educate your children. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. So just be the real one.
Last Updated on March 30, 2020
What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)
Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.
You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.
This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.
Table of Contents
What Does Self-Conscious Mean?
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”
Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.
There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.
How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious
When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.
Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.
1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”
One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.
The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?
Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them. They’re just thoughts, after all.
2. Be Honest
A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.
If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.
On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.
Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.
3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work
Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.
If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout. Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.
4. Succeed at Something
When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.
Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.
5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness
Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.
Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.
If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.
If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.
Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.
6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control
Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.
You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.
On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.
You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.
7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments
Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.
Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.
Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.
When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?
Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing, but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.
In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.
Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.
It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.
When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.
The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.
Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.
Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.
Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.
More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem
- How to Build Self Esteem (A Guide to Realize Your Hidden Power)
- How to Gain Confidence and Really Boost Your Self Esteem
- Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know
- How to Be Confident: 62 Proven Ways to Build Self-Confidence
Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com
|||^||Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious|
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|||^||Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It|
|||^||Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine|
|||^||Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?|
|||^||Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware|