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10 Differences Between Pride And Arrogance

10 Differences Between Pride And Arrogance

You know how good it feels when after many weeks or even months your customer approves a project you and your whole team worked so hard on? You feel so proud of the work you have done together. But all these great feelings can be quickly spoiled if there is only one guy in your team, who is full of arrogance telling your customer what a great job he did.

Pride and arrogance: there are two different emotional states which are divided only by a thin line. Here’s how to spot the difference between the two (and not to enter the field of arrogance):

1. Proud people are always confident while arrogant people are unsecure

Proud people know what they do. They are usually masters of their profession and they always like to do things properly. They don’t want to mess around and they definitely can’t stand time-wasters.

Arrogant people often use their arrogance to cover their sloppiness and inability to cope with the task. Deep inside, they know they are not able to do the thing they are doing. They are full of doubts.

It is scientifically proven that arrogant people are prone to shame.

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2. Proud people use their language wisely while arrogant people usually use strong language

Pride people always talk wisely and there are two main reasons for it:

a) they always talk from their own experience
b) they regularly work on themselves, controlling their thoughts.

They know their pride is coming from those two things so it is natural for them to speak positively and inspiring to others.

Arrogance has its seeds in an inability to control the mind. So if an arrogant person wants to make an impression on others he will most likely use strong language, including swearing.

3. Proud people think all people deserve to be treated equally while arrogant people think they are better than others

A psychological study carried out on children aged between 7 and 11 by the University of Amsterdam and Ohio State University showed that children who were told by their parents that they are better than others developed a strong narcissistic personality.

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Pride people have high self-esteem but still think they are as good as others.

4. Proud people are like owls while arrogant people are like frightened dogs

When does a dog bite? It bites when fearing someone because it wants to protect itself. And that is the same situation when some people are using their arrogance: in the moments of fear of losing something.

Proud people have the attitude of owls with their inner peace. They know how to control their emotions so they seem to be always in control of the situation they are in.

5. Proud people look at hard work as their way to success while arrogant people are only opportunity seekers

Studies show that proud people are achievement-oriented viewing their hard work as the key to their success. They highly rely on themselves whilst always prepared to listen to other people’s advice.

On the other hand, arrogant people view success as pure luck so they are always on the run for the next best opportunity.

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6. Proud people always praise their team while arrogant people want to take all the credits for the job

Proud people know the power rests in the teamwork so they always praise all their colleagues. They know that by doing so they lose nothing but only empower the people around them.

Arrogant people think only of their own success. When they work in a team, after the task is completed they are first on the stage to take the prize for it.

7. Proud people really know themselves well while people arrogant don’t

Psychological studies show that people with the pride have genuine self-esteem coming out of knowing themselves well. They know what they are capable of and how to control their emotions.

Arrogance is actually ignorance of knowledge.

8. Proud people wisely consider other people’s opinions while arrogant people can’t stand any criticism

If pride people find out they are wrong, they will have no problem of confessing their mistake and trying to correct it while arrogant people will do just anything to prove they are right.

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9. Proud people don’t have a need to impress anybody while arrogant people have a constant urge to do so

Have you ever been in a group of people where there was a man or a woman who didn’t talk too much, but you felt a great energy coming out of him or her? And when you started talking with them, you didn’t want to leave, being pulled by their great personality? Pride people are not starving for other people’s attention, they simply attract it with their presence.

Arrogant people work hard to impress others so they are usually the loudest ones in the group. They don’t have any boundaries for achieving their goal: if there is a chance to make a joke about someone they won’t think twice to do so.

10. Proud people can work well in just any organization while arrogant people work best only in hierarchical systems

Proud people respect others, so they can work with many different people. They don’t fear somebody will take their position because they strongly believe in themselves.

On the other hand, arrogant people need a safe place to work from. And where is the perfect place for arrogance to flourish? In any hierarchical system where roles are well defined. Your boss can yell at you (if you are so unlucky to have an arrogant boss) only because of his position.

Be proud of yourself, constantly work on being the best version of yourself but never cross the line to arrogance by thinking somebody else is less important than you just because he might be doing a ‘seemingly’ less important task.

As long as you give 100% to whatever you do you can be a really proud person!

Featured photo credit: http://morguefile.com via morguefile.com

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Bo Nardin

Bo Nardin is an online entrepreneur taking the idea 'Turn your passion into a profession' online.

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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