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10 Differences Between Pride And Arrogance

10 Differences Between Pride And Arrogance

You know how good it feels when after many weeks or even months your customer approves a project you and your whole team worked so hard on? You feel so proud of the work you have done together. But all these great feelings can be quickly spoiled if there is only one guy in your team, who is full of arrogance telling your customer what a great job he did.

Pride and arrogance: there are two different emotional states which are divided only by a thin line. Here’s how to spot the difference between the two (and not to enter the field of arrogance):

1. Proud people are always confident while arrogant people are unsecure

Proud people know what they do. They are usually masters of their profession and they always like to do things properly. They don’t want to mess around and they definitely can’t stand time-wasters.

Arrogant people often use their arrogance to cover their sloppiness and inability to cope with the task. Deep inside, they know they are not able to do the thing they are doing. They are full of doubts.

It is scientifically proven that arrogant people are prone to shame.

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2. Proud people use their language wisely while arrogant people usually use strong language

Pride people always talk wisely and there are two main reasons for it:

a) they always talk from their own experience
b) they regularly work on themselves, controlling their thoughts.

They know their pride is coming from those two things so it is natural for them to speak positively and inspiring to others.

Arrogance has its seeds in an inability to control the mind. So if an arrogant person wants to make an impression on others he will most likely use strong language, including swearing.

3. Proud people think all people deserve to be treated equally while arrogant people think they are better than others

A psychological study carried out on children aged between 7 and 11 by the University of Amsterdam and Ohio State University showed that children who were told by their parents that they are better than others developed a strong narcissistic personality.

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Pride people have high self-esteem but still think they are as good as others.

4. Proud people are like owls while arrogant people are like frightened dogs

When does a dog bite? It bites when fearing someone because it wants to protect itself. And that is the same situation when some people are using their arrogance: in the moments of fear of losing something.

Proud people have the attitude of owls with their inner peace. They know how to control their emotions so they seem to be always in control of the situation they are in.

5. Proud people look at hard work as their way to success while arrogant people are only opportunity seekers

Studies show that proud people are achievement-oriented viewing their hard work as the key to their success. They highly rely on themselves whilst always prepared to listen to other people’s advice.

On the other hand, arrogant people view success as pure luck so they are always on the run for the next best opportunity.

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6. Proud people always praise their team while arrogant people want to take all the credits for the job

Proud people know the power rests in the teamwork so they always praise all their colleagues. They know that by doing so they lose nothing but only empower the people around them.

Arrogant people think only of their own success. When they work in a team, after the task is completed they are first on the stage to take the prize for it.

7. Proud people really know themselves well while people arrogant don’t

Psychological studies show that people with the pride have genuine self-esteem coming out of knowing themselves well. They know what they are capable of and how to control their emotions.

Arrogance is actually ignorance of knowledge.

8. Proud people wisely consider other people’s opinions while arrogant people can’t stand any criticism

If pride people find out they are wrong, they will have no problem of confessing their mistake and trying to correct it while arrogant people will do just anything to prove they are right.

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9. Proud people don’t have a need to impress anybody while arrogant people have a constant urge to do so

Have you ever been in a group of people where there was a man or a woman who didn’t talk too much, but you felt a great energy coming out of him or her? And when you started talking with them, you didn’t want to leave, being pulled by their great personality? Pride people are not starving for other people’s attention, they simply attract it with their presence.

Arrogant people work hard to impress others so they are usually the loudest ones in the group. They don’t have any boundaries for achieving their goal: if there is a chance to make a joke about someone they won’t think twice to do so.

10. Proud people can work well in just any organization while arrogant people work best only in hierarchical systems

Proud people respect others, so they can work with many different people. They don’t fear somebody will take their position because they strongly believe in themselves.

On the other hand, arrogant people need a safe place to work from. And where is the perfect place for arrogance to flourish? In any hierarchical system where roles are well defined. Your boss can yell at you (if you are so unlucky to have an arrogant boss) only because of his position.

Be proud of yourself, constantly work on being the best version of yourself but never cross the line to arrogance by thinking somebody else is less important than you just because he might be doing a ‘seemingly’ less important task.

As long as you give 100% to whatever you do you can be a really proud person!

Featured photo credit: http://morguefile.com via morguefile.com

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Last Updated on January 15, 2019

How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

Many of us feel awkward talking to strangers. I’m a very outgoing person, even though I sometimes feel uncomfortable walking up to someone and asking a question or starting a conversation. I consider myself pretty high up on the extrovert meter. So what is it that makes us pause and become worried or anxious about talking to people we don’t know?

In this article, we will discuss why we feel this way as well as some tips on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Step right up, don’t be shy!

Why We Feel Awkward Talking to Strangers

The next time you feel uncomfortable talking to a stranger, tell yourself that’s completely normal. There are numerous reasons why it’s actually natural to feel awkward talking to strangers:

Our Stress Levels Rise Around Strangers

Numerous studies have show that our levels of cortisol go up when we are around strangers.[1] Cortisol is the hormone inside of us which produces stress responses.[2]
So there you go, right off the bat you can see part of your standard response to strangers is due to a chemical reaction!

A very interesting by product of increased cortisol is that it makes us less empathetic. More than likely this can be traced to our evolution. The increase in the cortisol and the corresponding decrease in empathy makes us want to stay away from strangers. We are biologically wired to feel concern around strangers.

Evolution Taught Us to Be Wary

Evolution has also taught us to be wary of strangers in general. Humans as a whole have spent a large chunk of their history banded together in small protective groups. We did this in order to help protect each other and maximize resources.

When you think about it in this context, outsiders to our small groups or strangers are considered potential threats. Fear of strangers is common across almost all human cultures.

Culturally Conditioned

We can also thank our society for helping us feel uncomfortable and sometimes afraid of strangers. The term “stranger danger” is something most of us can relate to either growing up or raising kids. Or both.

I remember hearing this from my parents, mostly about not getting in someone’s car I didn’t know. And as the father of 2 teenage girls, you can be sure I’ve talked to them about this very concept more times that they want to hear.

The thought that strangers can be dangerous is built into us as it is. Toss in the amplification of the media on strangers doing things such as kidnapping kids and it takes it to an even higher level.

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Now that we’ve reviewed some of the reasons why we are nervous, let’s look at why you should talk to strangers more.

Benefits of Getting over the Awkwardness

Let’s take a quick look at some of the advantages of how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward. These are some high level benefits of talking to strangers.

1. Broadens Your Network

After you talk to someone, you didn’t know previously they become someone you know at least a little bit. This alone helps broaden your network of people you know. This is helpful in many ways whether it is work related or socially related.

2. Improves Your Communication Skills

I am a huge proponent of the value of solid communication skills and have written about it often. The more you talk to people, especially people you don’t know, the better your communication skills become.

Interacting with a wider variety of people will bring the added benefit of improving your communication skills.

3. Continually Learning

So many of us don’t actively seek to learn new things. This is one of the primary keys to staying engaged in life and our own personal self fulfillment.

Almost every time I speak to someone I didn’t know previously, I’ve learned something new. When we speak to strangers, it pushes us out of our comfort zones and we tend to learn new things.

4. Increases Self Confidence

Every time we learn to do something we were previously anxious about, we feel better about ourselves.

Forcing ourselves to talk to strangers will lead to increased self confidence. As we get more and more comfortable doing something that previously made us feel awkward, our self confidence will go up and up.

So, how to talk to strangers to reap these benefits?

How to Talk to Strangers

Here are some tips to on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

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1. Say Hello

Putting “say hello” first may seem a bit obvious but let’s take a deeper look. Much of the social awkwardness when speaking to strangers is simply breaking the ice. The first words that will engage someone.

Most people will respond when someone says hello or hi to them. And those that don’t, you probably don’t want to talk to anyway.

Practice being the person that opens the door to a conversation. Say hello.

2. Ask About Them

Something that I have noticed over the years is that people love to talk about themselves. Even fairly private people tend to open up when asked about events in their lives.

You can ask leading questions that get people to talk about themselves and recent events. Things like recent movies watched or the summer vacation are great to get someone talking.

As a father, I also know that people love to talk about their kids. Asking about kids is a fairly easy topic to bring up and in general, most people will expound upon all the great things their kids do or are involved with.

3. Just Do It

One of the biggest reasons we don’t do things we want to or know we should is because we overthink it. Quit thinking about it so much and just do it.

When you give yourself the time to analyze every little angle about a situation, you also give plenty of time to talk yourself out of it. You’ll wind up thinking what if this happens or what if that happens.

Try to force yourself to jump right in without thinking about it too much. Whenever I have done this, I always feel great about it afterwards, no matter how it turned out.

4. Don’t Take It Personal

One of the greatest lessons in life I ever learned was don’t take anything personally. We all go through life with our own sets of experiences and see things through our own lens. The way people react to different situations has almost nothing to do with us. It has to do with previous experiences and the way people feel about things other than us.

When someone’s reaction isn’t what you’d hoped or expected, chances are it has nothing to do with you. Remember that and keep it in context.

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5. Get a Chuckle If Possible

I used the word chuckle purposely because it makes me laugh. In my opinion, it’s one of those funny words. We all like to laugh because it makes us feel good. And when someone makes us laugh, we typically remember those people in a positive light.

One of the best ways to make a conversation easy and free flowing is to get some laughter going. It doesn’t mean you have to be the master joke teller or anything. See if you can work in a way to make the person you are talking to get a smile or some laughter in. In fact, laughing at yourself maybe a nice try.

6. Detach

A great feeling is when you don’t mind which way something turns out, that you will be fine no matter what happens. Kind of like when I watch my two favorite football teams play against each other. I don’t really care who wins, I just want a fun game.

Treat talking to strangers the same way. You don’t really care how the conversation goes because you are detaching from the outcome. Make it a fun time with yourself and if the conversation goes well, awesome! If not then no big deal, move on.

7. Share Your Stories

Well, all like to feel connected to other people. And many times we wind up hanging out with people that we have things in common with. No surprise here.

To help with how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward, tell stories that have commonalities with the person you are talking to. Kids are an easy one. I have a daughter who was a competitive cheerleader and now plays club volleyball. I have instant connection and stories with strangers I speak with who have kids that play sports. It’s easy to relate to.

So when you are speaking to a stranger and you have a story or mutual connection point, bring it up.

8. Give a Compliment

Almost everyone likes hearing a compliment, whether they admit to it or not. As a general rule, we don’t give out enough compliments. It’s amazing how one small remark someone tosses your way about how good you look can literally make your entire day.

When you are speaking with someone you don’t know, see if you can work a compliment in. Nothing creepy here. Not a good idea to tell someone you just met that they are the prettiest or handsomest person you ever met. However, if you can share how you like their tattoo or shoes or something like that, it will help put the conversation into an easy going, smiling place.

9. Relax Your Body Language

If you go into a situation all worried and nervous, it shows on your body. Your shoulders are tensed up, there’s a look of consternation on your face, things like that.

When you engage a stranger in conversation, make it a point to relax your body language. Take a deep breath before you engage the person, let your body relax, and put a smile on your face. This will help relax you and it has the added benefit of putting the other person more at ease.

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If they see that you are relaxed, it helps them relax. Plus having open, engaging body language is very conducive to inviting someone to open up into a conversation with you.

10. Practice, Practice, Practice

Like everything else in life, talking to strangers gets easier with practice. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.

Make it a point to talk to several strangers each week and it will definitely help you relax as you do it more and more.

After a while, it will become something you don’t even think about, you just do it. And that takes all of the awkwardness out of being in these type situations.

The Bottom Line

As we have seen, it is perfectly natural to feel awkward talking to strangers. We are biologically built that way and we have our own society constantly warning us how dangerous it is. It’s no wonder we feel awkward talking to strangers!

There are numerous benefits to learning to be more comfortable talking to strangers. See if you can employ some of the techniques mentioned to learn how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Once you start practicing speaking with strangers more often and utilizing some of the tips, you will become more comfortable doing so. This in turn will lead to a learned new skill and increased self confidence.

Remember, everyone you know was a stranger at one time. Now get out there and make some new friends.

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

Reference

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