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Last Updated on April 11, 2018

How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life

How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life

Many world champion athletes, business people, and spiritual teachers all cite self-reflection as an essential key to success. This is also true for ‘everyday people’ who are fulfilled and happy with their lives.

So why is self-reflection so important? I’m going to tell you why self-reflection matters to you and how you can do it to lead a more successful and fulfilling life.

What is self-reflection

Self-Refection is defined as “meditation or serious thought about one’s character, actions, and motives.” It’s about taking a step back and reflecting on your life, behavior and beliefs.

A few years ago, I had the pleasure of hearing triathlete Craig (Crowie) Alexander speak at a conference in Sydney, Australia. Craig is a five-time Ironman World Champion and all around inspiring human being. One of the things he emphasized was the amount of time he took for self-reflection and the impact that had on his confidence and performance.

After each race, he and his team would reflect to understand what went well and what could be improved for next time. They picked apart every tiny detail, from the shape of his helmet, to when he took a salt tablet, to his emotional state throughout the race.

In practice he did the same. The time he took to stop and reflect on all the details of his performances shaved seconds off his racing time, which was often the difference between winning – or not.

Now you might be thinking, of course he did! That’s his job. But, what if after every race he just kept moving? What if he never stopped to think about what he could do differently? Seems crazy, right?

Yet that’s what many of us do with the very thing that’s most important – our lives.

What happens when you don’t reflect

We keep moving. We push through. We don’t stop to reflect. We stay in jobs that are (literally) killing us. Relationships that zap our energy. Circumstances that leave us stressed, unhappy, frustrated and tired.

We keep running on the treadmill of life thinking we don’t have time to waste. So we keep moving in order to keep up. But too often, we just crash and burn. That’s because the only way to keep up with the pace of life is to STOP. To hop off the treadmill. To reflect on what’s working and what’s not. To identify what to keep and what needs to change.

You may have heard the saying:

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“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over again but expecting different results.”

Yet that is what so many of us do – continue on through life doing the same things and wondering why we aren’t getting a different outcome.

When a project or something doesn’t go well at work, what do you do? You take a moment to step back and see what went wrong and what you could do differently next time. The same should be true with life, yet we don’t often take time to reflect. Why not?

I’ve heard many reasons over the years. Maybe you feel you don’t have time and there is just too much else on your plate. Or maybe you don’t have the energy. You’re tired and feel like it’s just one more thing to do. Perhaps you don’t realize the significant and how it can positively transform your life. Or maybe you just feel like it’s too hard. Many of my clients feel they don’t know where to start or what to consider.

This is often why people hire a coach or consultant. To provide time and space they aren’t giving themselves. To ask the right questions and give space for the answers.

The good news is, you don’t need to hire anyone to reap the enormous benefits of self-reflection. All it requires is awareness, commitment and dedicating time.

The importance of self-reflection

Many people find doing self-reflection difficult or troublesome. They don’t understand why they need it, and they don’t see the benefits doing self-reflection. Why is self-reflection important for you? Here I will reveal the benefits of self-reflection:

Improves self-awareness

It’s essential to understand yourself at a deeper level. Self-awareness and a little soul searching is critical to success in all areas of life.

Taking time for self-reflection leads to greater self-awareness which in turn leads to self-improvement. In addition, having a strong sense of self improves your confidence and level of self-esteem.

Provides perspective

Self-reflection allows you to understand and see things from a different point of view. When you take a step back from a situation, you gain a new understanding. You can see the whole picture, not just the piece of the puzzle.

Ever hear the saying, “Can’t see the forest for the trees”? This is an expression that highlights someone who is so involved in the details of a situation that they can’t see the whole picture.

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This is the benefit of self-reflection. You can zoom out and see the whole forest.

Allows you to respond, not react

Ever say or do something in the moment that you wish you could take back? When you react, you’re not thinking about the potential ramifications of your actions. However, when you take time to reflect on a situation, you can respond more thoughtfully and change your behavior for next time.

Early in my career, a boss made a recommendation about this very thing. He advised me to wait 24 hours before addressing something I was upset about. This forced time of self-reflection allowed me to take stock of my feelings and emotions. I was then better able to approach the situation or issue with a level head and greater perspective.

Facilitates a deeper level of learning

Many studies share the common conclusion that self-reflection facilitates a deeper level of learning and understanding. It’s a critical part of the education process. I’ve found this to be true in my own work as a facilitator and trainer.

When people are given time to reflect, digest and integrate, they are better able to make abstract connections, as well as retain and recall information. In fact, whenever I’m facilitating a group training and I introduce a new concept, I provide time for self-reflection. Even 5 minutes to integrate and think about what you’ve learned can make a critical difference.

Think about this for yourself. If, after you read this article, you move right on to the next thing, how much do you think you will remember?

However, if you read this article and take five minutes afterward to think about your learnings, how much more will you retain?

Improves confidence

When you reflect, you gain a better understanding of what’s working and what’s not. This in turn, allows you to make better decisions and change your actions.

Each time you improve, it helps build your confidence with increased knowledge and perspective.

Challenges your assumptions

What you believe to be true is not always the truth. One of the best ways to tackle a limiting belief is to step back and debate the validity of that belief.

Self-reflection allows you to challenge beliefs and assumptions that are getting in your way.

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How to do self-reflection (a step-by-step guide)

Ok, so you understand the benefits and you’re ready to do get started? Here’s how:

The process of self-reflection

This is a simple guide to the process of self-reflection:

  • STOP: Take a step back from life or a particular situation.
  • LOOK: Identify and get perspective on what you notice and see.
  • LISTEN: Listen to your inner guide, the innate wisdom that bubbles up when you give it time and space to emerge.
  • ACT: Identify the steps you need to take moving forward to adjust, change or improve.

What to reflect on

There are two important components for self-reflection.

1. The first is to reflect on YOU.

This includes who you are and what you want for your life. This is the self-awareness piece we talked about earlier.

Many ancient philosophers from Aristotle to Socrates and Pythagoras touted the benefits of “knowing thyself”.

Here are some questions to ‘ponder’ when you reflect on YOU:

  • What are my core values? What are the beliefs, guiding principles or ideas that are deeply important to me? What are my priorities?
  • What are my unique gifts, skills, strengths or talents?
  • What are the weaknesses or blind spots I need to watch out for?
  • Who do I want to be?
  • What energy do I want to bring to everything I do?
  • What is the impact or difference I want to make? How do I want to serve, contribute or add value?
  • What are my passions? What do I love? What gets me engaged, motivated and excited?
  • Are there any beliefs that I have that are limiting me?
  • What do I want for my life? (after all, if you don’t know what you want, how do you expect to get there?)
  • When am I at my best?

2. The second is to reflect on the areas of your life that are important to you.

This might include your relationships, home and family, career, health and well-being, finances, goals, spirituality and person growth, and fun and recreation.

A great tool that many coaches and those in the personal development space have used for years is called the “The Wheel of Life”. While the original wheel of life dates back to Buddhism, the modern wheel of life was created by Paul Meyer, a pioneer in the life coaching and self-improvement industry.

    The purpose of the wheel is to look at areas of your life which are important to you. In each area, you rate yourself on a scale of 1-10. This gives you an idea of where you are in – or out of balance – and what areas you need to pay more attention to. It gives you perspective on the whole of your life.

    If you google ‘wheel of life’ you’ll get hundreds of different options to choose from. But here I recommend you the following examples. I prefer to use ones that have YOU or a space for YOU in the middle. I’ve also included a blank template where you can fill in the areas of your life which are most important to you right now.

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        Questions to ask yourself in self-reflection

        Here are some questions to ask yourself in the self-reflection process:

        • How do I feel overall about this area of my life? On a scale of 1-10, how would I rate my levels of satisfaction and success?
        • What’s working? What’s not working?
        • What do I want more of – or less of?
        • What are my accomplishments/wins/successes? (People often default to what’s wrong or hasn’t worked – it’s just as important to focus on what’s going right!)
        • What do I want? What are my hopes or goals?
        • What am I grateful for?
        • How would I improve this area of my life? What actions can I take?

        When to self-reflect

        The more you can make self-reflection a habit and part of your routine, the greater the impact will be. Below are some ideas to get you started. Identify which ones will work for you. Then grab your calendar or phone and schedule a reminder to make it happen!

        • New years – There’s a reason New Years resolutions became a tradition. It’s a great time to reflect on the year that has passed and identify what you want (your intentions, goals, desires) in the year ahead.
        • Milestones – I have a friend that uses her birthday every year as a time for self-reflection. You can also choose an anniversary, the Spring equinox, a religious holiday or any date that has significance or importance to you.
        • Monthly or weekly – Maybe you’d like to schedule time at the beginning of the month, or choose a day of the week, like Sunday to reflect on the week before.
        • Daily – A daily practice of self-reflection is probably one of the best ways to create a habit. I have many clients that like to get up early and reflect on the day before and the day ahead. Some prefer to journal in the evening before bed.
        • After an ‘event’ – Just had a terrible work meeting? A bad interaction with your kids or spouse? Take a minute to step back and reflect on what happened. Doing this now will help you understand what happened and prevent future incidents similar to this one.
        • When you’re off track – Whenever you feel like you’re off track, unhappy, stressed or demotivated, it’s time to take a step back, reflect and regroup.

        Bonus self-reflection tips

        Here are some extra tips for you to do self-reflection:

        • Grab a Journal – If you don’t have one, head to the store and find one you love. Writing has been proven to facilitate new levels of understanding and significantly reduce levels of stress. Moreover, when you see something, you are able to process it in a different way. And once it’s tangible, you then have a greater ability to tackle it, or let it go.
        • Schedule Time – Schedule uninterrupted time where you have space, feel quiet and can focus., whether that be 5 minutes a day or half a day once a quarter. If you think it’s just going to happen, it’s not. You have to do something to make it happen.
        • Accountability – Join a group, get a coach, find a buddy, tell your spouse – find someone to do this with. I was talking with a client of mine last week and she said the most valuable part of hiring me was the fact that she had someone she had to report back to weekly. It forced her to do the work that she wouldn’t have done otherwise on her own.
        • Be a fly on the wall – When you’re reflecting on something, especially relationships, it’s helpful to take the stance of a neutral observer. When you step back from a situation and view things as if you were a fly on the wall, it’s incredibly insightful. Try this with something in your life you’re having a hard time resolving. Take a step back and view the situation as if you were a fly on the wall, or as if you were watching the entire scene on a movie screen. Notice what you see, hear and feel about what you ‘observe’. It will give you a perspective that you hadn’t seen before!
        • Meditate – There are hundreds of studies that show the benefits of meditation. Something powerful happens when you don’t ‘think’ about something. Things bubble up. You have incredible, innate wisdom inside of you and meditation allows it to break through. Again, it’s just a matter of giving time and space to tap into it. Here is a simple guide to meditation: 5-Minute Guide to Meditation Anywhere at Anytime

        Make self-reflection part of your life

        If self-reflection isn’t a regular part of your life right now, this is your wake-up call. It’s time for you to take a step back. Time to hop off the treadmill of life. Time to reflect.

        Whichever step you take next is perfect. There’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to do this. It’s only what works for you.

        If I’ve learned anything from working with thousands of clients over the years, different things work for different people. There’s no one size fits all approach to self-reflection, just like there’s no one size fits all approach to life.

        So, how are you going to get started?

        Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

        More by this author

        Tracy Kennedy

        I'm a results-driven life coach + consultant, dedicated to helping you achieve greater levels of happiness, fulfillment + success.

        The Ultimate Morning Routine to Make You Happy And Productive All Day The Real Reason You Feel Exhausted (And How to Be Energetic Again) How To Be True To You When Life Pulls You Off Track What Am I Doing with My Life? Find Your Answer Here with These Steps How to Build Self Esteem (A Guide to Realize Your Hidden Power)

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        Last Updated on June 12, 2018

        Can a Dysfunctional Family Become Functional?

        Can a Dysfunctional Family Become Functional?

        A dysfunctional family is more than disagreement or constant arguments. Anything from plain neglect, to abuse and even verbal and physical violence is the everyday experience of those who are part of a dysfunctional family.

        You know how this looks:

        • Parents constantly comparing children.
        • Siblings in conflict because of tolerated bullying.
        • Domestic violence.
        • Adultery…
        • And many others.

        For all the members, this will mean emotional pain and even trauma; which, in case it doesn’t get resolved, will have a detrimental effect on the individual’s personality and development.

        Needless to say, the younger members are the most vulnerable, but that doesn’t mean the parents are out of danger, as most commonly the parents play the roles of abuser-codependent, and in some cases, both parts inflicting pain on one another.

        Most like to think these problems stem from deep-seated issues, and that therefore it’s pretty much impossible to deal with them.

        This is only true for families not willing to do what it takes, for if only a single member is determined and knows how to do it, the whole family can do a lot of progress.

        In this article, I’ll break down for you the basic steps of fixing a dysfunctional family. Although it may seem hopeless, it is possible to turn things around.

        If you have ever felt in this position, or if you know somebody who is, this article is for you.

        How to fix a dysfunctional family

        In a few words the solution for a dysfunctional family lies in dropping the ego, focusing on the solution, switching blame for responsibility and doing the work as a unity, for the good of the whole family.

        And this will accomplish things you once only saw as a dream.

        Dropping the ego? Switching blame for responsibility? Doing the work? What does all this mean?

        It’s simple. In a nutshell, it’s that which will allow you to turn a dysfunctional family into a functional one.

        Let’s take a look at how exactly this can be done. And near the end we will also talk about what you can do in a dysfunctional family with cynical traits.

        Dysfunctional families where not only problems are well-known, but also nobody seems to want a fix or openly decide to perpetuate the harmful behaviors. Such as the case of abuse and physical violence.

        There is also a solution for these, it’s just not what you are expecting…

        Dysfunctional… Or just average?

        Most families are dysfunctional, though at varying degrees of dysfunctionality.

        The milder cases, are just marked by “typical” comically-shrouded bullying or lack of interest in other members’ development or wellbeing.

        You can know a family is dysfunctional if their interactions are anything different than cooperation, solidarity, care and support. But let’s get more specific…

        A dysfunctional family is one in which members directly or indirectly suffer emotional and/or physical harm inflicted by other members of their family. Most commonly, perpetrated by the parents.

        Even harmful actions as “passive” as neglect, which is inflicted by inaction rather than action, signifies a dysfunction within the family.

        Dysfunctional families have conflicts such as:

        • Unrealistic expectations
        • Lack of interest and time spent together
        • Sexism
        • Utilitarianism
        • Lack of empathy
        • Unequal or unfair treatment
        • Disrespect towards boundaries
        • Control Issues
        • Jealousy
        • Verbal and physical abuse
        • Violence and even sexual misconduct or abuse

        The link to productivity

        You may think a dysfunctional family has very little or nothing to do with personal productivity, but you would be wrong in thinking this way…

        If a person is not emotionally well, she will not be able to perform as desired, as the emotional harm that has been inflicted will hinder everyday performance in the way of inability to concentrate, lack of mental clarity and low levels of inspiration, motivation and discipline.

        Having a functional family does exactly the opposite: It creates productive members with no emotional baggage.

        How to turn it around

        When you’re part of a dysfunctional family you know it. You can quickly identify in other members the behaviors and conflicts that create the dysfunction.

        But just in case you’re having trouble telling functional from dysfunctional I will tell you the following:

        One of the easiest ways you can recognize if you are in a dysfunctional family is to survey your won feelings.

        We often overlook this, but have you stopped to ask yourself how you feel?

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        As cheesy as it may sound it really sheds a lot of light on the subject.

        What behaviors, actions and attitudes in your family you wish were better?

        Do you think certain behaviors and actions from your family marked you in the past?

        Sadly, we cannot go back to the past to correct it. But we can do a lot in the present…

        Correction is possible

        In order to fix a dysfunctional family, you must start by putting an end to the behaviors and actions that are affecting you.

        Verbalize it.

        All members of the dysfunctional family have one issue in common: They don’t put a stop to the harm.

        Whenever you feel your boundaries being overstepped there is just one single word you have to remember: STOP.

        This is the door to a better, more functional family, because after this, comes the fix.

        But first you have to identify and make others know where exactly lies the problem.

        So go ahead and fearlessly start with “Stop”, followed by your expression of dissatisfaction.

        Putting it to work in real life

        In real life it would be something like this:

        “OK, stop! Every time you belittle me I feel you don’t care. I need attention and respect, and it is your responsibility as my family to provide them to me”

        Or:

        “Stop. When you compare me with my cousin it hurts, I feel like I don’t matter and that’s not ok. I ask you to stop doing it.

        Or:

        “Please stop. When you start yelling all respect is lost and it turns into a battle of who can do it louder. Don’t raise your voice and let’s work this out the way humans do”.

        As you can see, here you start by putting a stop to the toxic behavior when it arises. And afterwards you verbalize why it’s wrong and what needs of you need to be fulfilled.

        This is what you have to remember:

        1-Stop.

        2-Why it’s wrong?

        3-What you need.

        And this will also work well in case you need to do it for another family member.

        It’s a family thing

        A dysfunctional family cannot be fixed by one member alone.

        Yes, a single member can initiate progress and be the leader of the change. But in order to completely become functional all members must contribute to the solution.

        In other words, you will need cooperation…

        So don’t be afraid of asking for it!

        Approach your family member and ask to be listened.

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        We sometimes feel our needs are “not that important” or we simply believe they won’t listen. But thinking like this would be like being defeated at an unfought battle.

        You will be amazed by how much people listen when you voice your needs, especially if it implies showing yourself open, vulnerable and in need.

        It’s not a free-for-all battle

        In order to get your family to cooperate, first you must fix your individual relationships with every member of the family. Remember: Relationships are always between two people, and two people only.

        No matter how complex, the quality of a multi-member relationship (like a family) will always depend on the quality of the individual relationships.

        Once you have straightened the relationship with every member of the dysfunctional family you will be able to better communicate with other members and help in the betterment of their individual relationship.

        And this is where we will talk about the fix itself. The one I mentioned in the introduction…

        The method

        1. Drop the ego

        Wherever there is conflict there is ego.

        You cannot fix a relationship where there is ego, because the ego will want to win. Always. Yours and the other person.

        Ego craves control and satisfaction, and in many cases, to establish dominance.

        What does this have to do with a dysfunctional family? Everything. Ego will interfere with every plan you have to fix it.

        It will make people suborn and defensive. And it will also make them drop responsibility. This is why, the first step is to drop the ego.

        After you make sure you are not going to allow your ego to interfere you must work to make the other person do the same. How? By speaking from the heart…

        Tell the other person how important all this is to you.

        Tell the other person that it’s not a matter of arguing, but just working things out together.

        Point out how it is not possible for you to do it alone.

        And ask for sincere attention without any desire of opposition, because what you are doing is by no means in the hopes of harming the other person, but just to better the relationship and stop the damage being dealt to you.

        You will have to point out the mistakes you need corrected, that’s for sure. And that leads me to the next point…

        2. Not blame, but responsibility

        When talking about others’ mistakes we often use an accusatory tone. And that’s natural, it’s what things should be like if ego was not present.

        But since we are all creatures of ego, this immediately brings the shields up. And then unsheathes the swords…

        When we blame others they automatically enter a defensive state, and this only leads to a failed negotiation.

        What you need to do is to shift from blame to responsibility. And even that will have to be done carefully!

        Instead of telling them off or demanding change or complaining, calmly point what the problem with their behavior is.

        As much as this feels contradictory, also make them feel understood. You know how difficult it is to accept a mistake, so just make them feel it’s no big fuzz… which does not mean it’s ok, but it takes tension off.

        You will do something like this:

        “Hello dad. Can I talk with you for a minute? I really need to tell you something.

        I have been feeling pretty sad lately and I know this is something you do care about.

        You see, whenever I talk about my accomplishments you mention something else that makes my achievement pale in comparison.

        I know you don’t do this intentionally and I know you might have not realized this until now, but I want to let you know this really brings me down.

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        It would mean a lot to me if you could stop doing it, and it would help better our relationship, because this has already forced me to distance myself from you. And I don’t want that, I want a good, healthy relationship with you”

        What happened here?

        We started off with making it something important, something that needs both time and attention. Then we openly show ourselves vulnerable, just as we are.

        We also mention why he should listen, and shove our feelings there again, because they are important.

        We describe the issue with no attachment and with no hostile intention. It’s just a description.

        And then we take the blame off. Just before we assign responsibility without actually saying it.

        You are not blaming him directly, but you are pointing out the inevitable fact that his actions are causing a dysfunctionality. He is now responsible for changing.

        This is what “switching blame for responsibility” means. What comes next? Doing the work!

        3. Doing the work

        What would any of this mean if, in the end, nothing changes? Exactly, nothing!

        This is why you must follow up with every change that needs to be done.

        Do so in a manner that is not hostile. Bring it up in a casual manner, and emphasizing how you both reached an agreement and how that is important to the family.

        If the person doesn’t follow up don’t hesitate to bring it up again, and tell them you feel disappointed that your honest try at it was not listened.

        It may even be a subject in itself, and therefore the need for another conversation.

        “When you go back to old habits it shows that you didn’t really care about what I said. But back in real life you just reinforce how much contempt you show towards me and my feelings.

        I talk with you because I care. Because although it would be easier for me to just distance myself from you I rather do my part in nurturing this relationship.

        But there is just so much I can do, if you refuse to do your part I can do nothing else.”

        You need very clear and positive communication in order to make this work.

        Love is all you need

        You must remember that in order for a dysfunctional family to become functional, all the work needs to stem from love.

        That is the single one requirement for all this to work: Love.

        And what happens if it simply is not there?

        What happens if, nobody is willing to do what it takes?

        What happens if a member of the family refuses to change and is happy with the harm he or she is dealing?

        There is only one thing you can do:

        To break away.

        Let’s be honest, people, especially adults, are very difficult to change.

        There is a Jewish proverb that I love, which sums it up like this:

        “We spend the rest of our lives trying to unlearn what we learned before we were 7”

        If you find it very hard to change the very traits that make your family dysfunctional or if it’s simply impossible, you still have a card up your sleeve…

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        Although nobody likes to beak away from family members, we must remember we have a responsibility with ourselves as individuals, before any relationship with anyone.

        You have the responsibility of making yourself happy and free. Because you matter as an individual, regardless of any relationships you have, be it family, friendship or romantic.

        Putting distance

        So in case you are dealing with a family member who is simply unwilling to change take both physical and emotional distance.

        What do I mean?

        Learn, first, to take their damage in a detached manner.

        Don’t let it hurt you further. Instead take a deep breath and distance yourself emotionally.

        Don’t be attached to feelings such as “Why doesn’t she love me?” or “What did I do to deserve this?” or “If he wasn’t like that my life would be perfect”.

        Simply refuse to keep participating in the emotional downward spiral and accept, even if it’s painful” that there is nothing you can do. Accept that even without that relationship you are whole, you are worthy of love and respect.

        They are their responsibility and you are yours. So decide what is best for you.

        Realize it only comes down to two possibilities:

        I keep the relationship and therefore accept the abuse. Or…

        I choose my peace of mind.

        And don’t let your mind fool you. We often think that since we all are imperfect, we must take the good and the bad behaviors of people. And we are especially forgiving towards our family…

        Well, guess what? We are also responsible adults who are aware and must own to their acts. Never excuse abuse or violence or transgression towards you or anybody else.

        Choose your happiness and if possible, also distance yourself physically, as it will increase your peace of mind tenfold.

        How to prevent it

        There are two key concepts you must bear in mind in order to prevent the dysfunctionality of a family:

        • To be completely aware of one’s own mistakes and not allow them to impact others and…
        • To make sure our SO’s are also on the same channel before creating a family (i.e. having children)

        Dysfunctional families are the product of irresponsible paternity, for the decades-long unresolved emotional conflict ends up surfacing in the family inevitably, and it will for sure harm those who least deserve it: Innocent children.

        You may notice we went from talking about family, to talking about individual relationships, to talking about you. We went from “them” to “us” to “me”.

        Why? Because in the end you have the power to fix a dysfunctional family. To correct the mistakes you have in yours and to prevent dysfunctionalities if you don’t have a family but plan to create one.

        Priorities and clear thought

        You may be part of a dysfunctional family, but that does not mean you are powerless or that you have to suffer the consequences.

        You learned today how it’s all a matter of priorities and thinking clearly.

        You learned that, if love exists, everything is possible. You learned that even when there is no love and no fix for your dysfunctional family, there are still things you can do. It’s a matter of choosing your peace, because you deserve it.

        Everything will be better if you apply this knowledge. If you talk to that problematic family member. If you help them see the harm they are doing. If you make sure they do change and treat you the way you need to be treated…

        If you choose yourself over that toxic family member. If you refuse to justify the harm that others can do to yourself. If you realize the most important relationship you have is with yourself.

        And lastly, that you also have to be aware of your actions and be open to criticism. Because we might be unknowingly harming others. And that would be us creating a dysfunctionality. Don’t allow it to happen.

        Dysfunctional families are not impossible to fix. It just takes love, cooperation and responsibility.

        But if you tried and those elements are not present, just choose yourself instead.

        Featured photo credit: Photo by Juliane Liebermann on Unsplash via unsplash.com

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