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Last Updated on January 18, 2021

Get Rid of These 3 Thoughts We Have That Stunt Our Growth of Resilience

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Get Rid of These 3 Thoughts We Have That Stunt Our Growth of Resilience

Failures at work. Break ups. Loss of a loved one. Or a tough criticism. They are all a huge stepping stones on our way to self-discovery and personal growth.

We hope to grow, to become better versions of ourselves each new day, yet the situations like these trump our progress and take us one step back each time. However, if we take another look into the seemingly devastating effects a certain trauma, loss or a failure has had on our lives, we may discover that there is another way out of misery, a way that will help us recover much faster and build stronger resilience in the face of adversity.

As humans, we tend to fall into one of the two categories of dealing with grief and trauma. We either tend to grief for a short period of time, and then manage to quickly pick ourselves up and move on with life, or tend to get stuck in the grieving period for a very long time, struggling to recover.

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In order to find better ways of recovery for everyone, we first need to look closely into the causes of lessened resilience. This will help us to bounce not only back up, but even forward.    You’re Alright. Calm Down. There Is Always An Option B.

Facebook’s COO, Sheryl Sandberg has gone through tremendous grief after losing her husband. Her reaction and grieving process were similar to what most of us would feel and do given the circumstances. Overwhelmed with grief, she had a tough time even getting out of bed and taking care of her children.

Thanks to the help of her friend and a psychologist, Adam Grant, Sandberg managed to recover from loss and re-build her life again. She wrote about her struggle and the concrete steps she took towards building resilience in a life-changing book – Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy.

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As Sandberg discovered throughout her journey of overcoming loss and building resilience, first and foremost we need to escape the trap of the “three Ps” that a psychologist Martin Seligman termed as our response to great loss, failure, or any other life-shuttering experience.

The “three Ps” that stand in our way to recovery can be best described by a very common situation – a break up of a love relationship.

Personalization: “I Am the Worst Person on Earth”

The first P stands for Personalization. Once the terrible feeling of loss strikes, we tend to believe that we are at fault. No matter what the situation was, most of us would immediately blame ourselves for the failure of the relationship.

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When it comes to the first P,  we must stop blaming ourselves. For, example, in the break up situation, we need to realize that, in the end, it involves two people, and therefore, it can never be one person’s fault. It is always a good idea to talk to people close to us to help us gain a more unbiased perspective.

Pervasiveness: “My Life Is Screwed Up”

The second P is related to Pervasiveness. This is when a feeling of failure suddenly overcomes all aspects of our life, even though, in reality it is only our love life that is not going so well at the moment.

The approach is similar with Personalization. Instead of feeling sorry for ourselves and letting the negativity overshadow other aspects of our lives, we need to take a second look and start to find even the littlest things that we can appreciate about it. For example, if you have just gone through a terrible break up, you can be thankful for your friends and their great and honest support. This method will not only make you more resilient, but your friendships will get a new, more honest and supportive dimension.

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Permanence: “I Can Never Be Healed”

Finally, the third P stands for Permanence – the reason many of us have a feeling after each break up that we will never be happy again.

As for Permanence, even though it can be almost impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel, when your entire life you had planned is falling apart, you can overcome it as well, with a different frame of mind. In those moments that seem to last forever you need to remember that you have gone through a similar heart break before, and you have managed to move on and love and trust again. In the end, you have learned so much from each heartbreak and you soon realized the bigger picture and how those seemingly negative moments brought you to something amazing later on. Having a perspective in tough times doesn’t always come naturally, yet once you start practicing these and similar principles, you will be able to recover much faster each next time.

Don’t Avoid. Experience Each P. You Will Be Resilient.

Yes. These “Ps” happen naturally in our mind during adversities; but it is worth the effort to overcome them, as the awards bring about not only a quicker recovery, but an entirely new and more joyful perspective that we wouldn’t have realized otherwise.

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As it is our thoughts and beliefs that create the “three Ps” and trap us into believing that we cannot overcome grief and sorrow, the only way to truly avoid this is to go through each of the Ps and find a counter thought that will make us see another perspective, and will ultimately help us build resilience.

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Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

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Last Updated on January 12, 2022

15 Reasons Why Taking Action Is Important For Success

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15 Reasons Why Taking Action Is Important For Success

Success is not guaranteed at birth, and work is required to achieve what you desire. As you grow personally and professionally, you should explore these 15 reasons why taking action is important for success so you can reach your dreams.

However, before jumping in and taking action, it’s essential to understand its three components.

  1. To take action means to do something to get a particular result.[1] Any time you intentionally create movement, it is all because of the desired outcome. Execute your actions to support your dreams and goals.
  2. Action can be hard to take, but that’s only due to the fact of misrepresentation of the possibilities. Do your best not to focus on the outcome. Instead, ask yourself, “What does this make possible?” Even though obstacles and detours will distract you from your desired results, don’t let that be your primary focus. You’re created for more, so be willing to go the extra mile!
  3. Failure to take action can stem from many areas, the main one being the failures that have already occurred. Look at your failures as a lesson learned, so you can be willing to learn even more. Stretching yourself beyond what you can see builds trust within yourself and seizes the opportunity of the present!

“Failure is only a trial run to the success for the greatest of these, your journey.”—Kristianne Wargo

If you want to escape the world of mediocrity, you have to embrace the power of taking action. By doing so, you keep moving in the right direction.

Your journey is no longer dependent on the outcomes or the results. Instead, it empowers you to tread the trail of hope even when all seems hopeless.

Further, the main result becomes the balance in your life, all based on Newton’s First Law: the state of motion of an object is maintained as long as the object is not acted upon by an unbalanced force.

You can take all the hits that come your way, good or bad, due to all things resisting changes in their state of motion—they tend to “keep doing what they’re doing.”[2] The only shift that needs to happen comes from you taking action.

“Action is the foundational key to all success.”—Pablo Picasso

Taking action seems to be so fundamentally basic that it should not even have to be mentioned. But life can have you turning in circles that you become disengaged with the basics and need a foundational review. Blaze a new trail filled with the discovery of consistent actions and a determined heart.

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These 15 reasons why taking action is important for success will decrease your confusion while increasing productivity and heightening your purpose for a lifetime.

1. Action Allows You to Shift or Pivot

It’s easier to direct a moving vehicle than one that is parked. So, why not keep moving? Your activity encourages what you don’t see to become visible as you go through the intentional motions. Here is where change occurs, releasing what might have been a struggle to that which is natural.

2. Action Ignites Motivation

Getting through the stuff when life happens doesn’t come from pity parties but by taking the next step.

When you constantly fight for encouragement, your emotions are set in overdrive. The focus is unbearable and stifles the opportunities before you. All you feel is what couldn’t be, and you leave all on the table what you couldn’t see.

Keep your emotions and feelings in check by staying in action.

“One step at a time leads to miles of greatness!”—Kristianne Wargo

3. Action Establishes Habits

The more you do something, the easier it is to keep doing it, whether good or bad. You can’t succeed if you don’t do anything.

By maintaining the action, you are setting yourself up for a greater chance of hitting your goals without being too detailed and overplaying the plan.

4. Action Shrinks Failures

As much as you always want to be successful, failure is inevitable. But by taking action, your failures become less of the everyday cornerstone and more about engaging in firsts and seconds.

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The only failure is not trying. So, when you try, you cannot fail.

5. Action Induces Winning

No one afraid of losing has ever won. How many times does an athlete have to lose before the win? Too many most would say. But actually, it’s just enough to keep the iron in the fire to refine the gifts and talents. It’s in the fire where champions are made.

6. Action Breeds Better

Preparation is good. However, it’s easy to get stuck in research and making sure everything is going to play out as planned. But you can get buried in the preparation and forget that to get you moving to the next level, you must be in action.

Don’t let yourself become trapped in practice trying to get it all perfect first. Action will always make it better.

“Action is the heartbeat of success.”—Kristianne Wargo

7. Action Determines What’s Possible

You cannot eliminate what doesn’t work and establish what does work except through trial and error. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. That requires action on your part.

You have to be ready and willing to test in real-time to understand the complexity of what you are going after. The more action you take, the deeper your possibilities grow.

8. Actions Create Your “Now”

There is no need to put off tomorrow what you can do today. Build consistency in doing something with intention, and see how your life changes.

If you wait for the right time to show up, you will be waiting forever. Take your day into your own hands and create your “now.”

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9. Action Slows Down Time

There’s no time like the present. By staying in action, essentially, you slow down your inhibitions and fears from manifesting into more than what they need to be. You get to decide how fast you move by the actions you take in your every day leading to your success.

10. Action Produces a Result

How will you know if what you are doing will get you down the lane of success? Trial and error.

Every step you take produces an outcome, good or bad. So, why shy away from what works. Do it and make the adjustments needed in real-time.

11. Action Creates a Chain Reaction

Once you experience the result and determine the validity of how it coincides with your dreams and goals—meaning getting it right—then it directs you to the next step.

The plan of how you’re going to achieve success continues through the chain reaction. Action is the foundation where consistency is built.

12. Action Silences Your Inner Critic

The most significant time spent is with your inner voice.

If you are in a constant mode of debating whether or not you are worthy, good enough, or qualified, how will you be able to move forward? You’ll be frozen in time. However, staying in action makes the inner voice more of a nuisance yet can be muted by taking the next step.

13. Action Utilizes Knowledge

Reading and learning are addicting. But no matter how much you read or learn, nothing will gain success for you unless you take action.

The thing is that action is not so exciting. In fact, action can be tedious, especially if you don’t get the desired results. Yet, knowledge can lead your action when utilized appropriately. Don’t sit on what you know. Knowledge is power.

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14. Action Minimizes Risks

When you are in constant motion, momentum is on your side. What appears as a risk initially fades away more quickly because there is no time to overthink what just happened. The risks exist only to be outnumbered by the actions taken.

15. Action Builds Trust with Yourself

Many failures and dreams stop you in your tracks simply because of the lack of trust.

When you find yourself down and out, and your record reflects losing more than winning, it’s easier to quit and retreat. Yet, if you have confidence in yourself, trust triumphs over what didn’t happen, opening the door for what’s possible.

The Success Equation for Life

Knowledge + Action = Success

Ready your head to make a commitment that nullifies the missing link and establishes success by taking action. Here is where you will celebrate success more often than not. Now, the results and outcomes may not be as expected, but a little suspense never hurt any journey.

May your heart compound the experiences, including your commitment to taking action and the results of what’s to come. Claim the ultimate success when action meets your everyday.

“Grow beyond what you see so you can succeed beyond what you desire.”—Kristianne Wargo

Your journey is a path of many colors. Take a chance to make a change to choose the action that serves your purpose. Cheers to you for taking action and creating success this new season! The best is yet to come. Be present. Be incredible. Be you!

More Tips to Get You Into Action

Featured photo credit: Joshua Earle via unsplash.com

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Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: take action
[2] The Physics Classroom: Newton’s First Law

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