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Long Distance Love Birds! This Is How Your Screen Help You Stay Sweet Across the Sea!

Long Distance Love Birds! This Is How Your Screen Help You Stay Sweet Across the Sea!

Relationships can be hard to maintain especially once it gets to the stage where you both get comfortable. Standards may slip or you both could start taking each other for granted. While this can be fixed in a conventional relationship, for those in long distance relationships, this could threaten the union all the more.

Long Distance Relationship Equals to Dead-End Street?

Long distance relationships usually have a bad rep. If you’re in one right now, I’m sure many people have given you their widely-agreed-upon opinion that it just won’t last. While a lot of distance relationships don’t tend to work out for a myriad of reasons – namely that both people must be on the same page and committed to each other – many do stand the test of time because both are willing to use the distance well.

As mentioned before, that comfortable stage in a relationship can creep up on you but easily identified and sorted out. However, for a long distance relationship it can be the beginning of the end if couples can’t devote time and creativity to spice things up.

Stay Connected, That’s the Bullseye You Gonna Hit

The key to a successful relationship is the sense of connection you have with one another. Couples create this by sharing experiences, creating memories and building emotional bonds but if you’re physically apart then this can be harder to maintain.

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But the good news is there are ways you can recreate this connection even if you live hundreds of miles away. It’s all about spending your lives together despite physical distance and making effort to communicate in order to spice things up. So try these out to help you feel closer to your partner and keep that connection alive and well.

1. Let Skype Help You Date

When you can’t speak to each other face-to-face, the next best option is to Skype. While this is a brilliant way to keep the communication open, Skyping too often can cause the relationship to go stale which is why setting up occasional date nights can create a sense of, well, being on a date together!

Set certain days and times to catch up with your other half and treat it like a date. Try not to chat about mundane things too much but make the effort to catch up with each other emotionally. Set up a dinner and a glass of wine so it feels like you’re sharing a meal together. Dress up and make yourself look nice – if you treat this like a special date then you’ll both get much more out of it.

2. We Can Laugh At the Same Movie Scenes!

Everyone loves watching a movie with their loved one. While you can’t exactly cuddle up together on the sofa, the next best thing is to both put on the movie at the same time while either talking on the phone or texting each other. Knowing you’re both experiencing the same movie at the same time can bring a certain connection. You can express your thoughts about the film or laugh at the same scenes. It’s all about creating the feeling and experience of being together.

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3. Go Surprise My Love, Packages!

Sending something to your loved one far away shows you really care and even better if it’s a surprise. It shows you’re thinking of them and strengthens that emotional connection and bond. So why not get food delivered from their favourite local restaurant? Or send them a care package full of their favourite snacks or mementos of your time spent together? If it’s something they’ve mentioned before in passing – something they perhaps miss – throw it in there. This will, again, show you’re thinking about them and putting in that extra effort.

4. Let TV Shows Wire the Two Little Hearts

Don’t you love discussing the latest episode of Game of Thrones or Orange is the New Black? If you have a favourite TV series you both love or decide to start a brand new one, then carve out some time to watch it separately and then chat about it, or as with the movie suggestion, watch it at the same time. This can open more lines of discussion which is important to stop communication getting stale. Having things in common will help you both recognise your connection.

5. Couple App Presents: Your Secret Garden

While texting and calling is great, it’s not always that private. Creating the sense of privacy that you get with a traditional relationship is important psychologically and this can be maintained with the Couple app which allows you to create a space to keep all your interactions in one place. This app builds a private timeline of all your special moments whether it’s video calls, pictures, real-time games as well as other cool features just for the two of you to share.

This is aimed at creating something only the two of you can see and experience together making your relationship feel more special.

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6. Fitness Competition and Who Will Be the Winner?

If you’re both competitive and sporty or just wanting to set some health goals, making a competition out of it can be fun. But the best thing about this is that it’s a long-term project which can be helped along by the motivation you give to each other. This in itself can help you with the mindset that you’re sharing life goals and seeing them through together.

Why not make the next time you see each other your results day? This will give you more determination and motivation to share your hard work with each other.

7. It’s Adventure Time!

It can suck not being able to go out and do things together but in an age where internet is so accessible, now is the best time to spice up a long distance relationship. If you want to go out exploring then you can easily bring your partner with you through the power of social media. Whether it’s Skype, FaceTime, Facebook live, Instagram live or Snapchat, you can record a constant stream of your adventures. So next time you go hiking or exploring a city take your loved one with you, experience it together and bring a sense of closeness to the relationship.

8. A Journal of This Long Love-Journey

Sometimes being in a long distance relationship can force you to find things that connects you spiritually – something that can be pushed to the wayside in a conventional relationship. Journaling is a really good reflection tool and you can make this a great way to strengthen that connection for both of you as well as personally.

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Each of you take it in turn to record your life every other day. When you get together you’ll have a really great account of your separate lives coming together and see how they intertwine too. Reading over this will show you that even though you may be physically apart, you are spiritually together.

9. Let’s Have a Throw-Back Thursday, Darling

Put aside a certain day of the week where you devote some time recalling special memories you’ve shared together. Reminding yourselves of the reasons why you’ve chosen each other as that special person is really important and often lost once you live apart. It’s all about keeping it alive in our minds which will prevent that feeling of distance from creeping in – a problem that is often the cause of long distance break ups.

10. Find Your Honey – You Are the Real Surprise!

One of the best things you can do especially if you’re in a trusted and committed relationship, is to arrange a surprise visit. Check with friends and family about their schedules and turn up unannounced. Knowing you made that effort and getting to see you will strengthen your relationship all the more.

Long distance relationships don’t have to be as hard as people say they are. It requires a lot of effort and imagination to keep a relationship fresh when there’s no physical connection but try out these suggestions and make your relationship stronger despite the miles between you.

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Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

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Last Updated on August 19, 2019

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.

When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.

In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.

Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.

If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.

According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.”[1] Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.

No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.

When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.

Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.

1. Embrace Your Vulnerability

When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.

Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.

When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.

Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.

In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.

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It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.

You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone.

Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.

What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?

You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.

That’s where we all should be.

So, answer me this:

How are you, really?

And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.

Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.

Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.

Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)

Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.

It’s taking control.

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2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity

You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by being true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.

You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.

In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.

Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.

You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…

Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’[2] When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.

But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?

It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.

In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You

It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again, and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.

Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:

Change will happen.

Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.

You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.

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And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.

You can choose to have a positive attitude, seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?

That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.

You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.

When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.

3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking

Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.

In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.

If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s like you rise twice.

Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.

Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable.  It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved.  It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.

How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?

Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.

“Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.

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Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.

Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.

It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.

Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence,[3]

“If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”

What would you do if you felt you were enough?

By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.

So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.

Final Thoughts

By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.

Being true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.

When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.

You will find that making decisions based on what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!

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Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com

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