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What to Keep and What to Toss? Asking These 15 Questions Can Make Decluttering Easier

What to Keep and What to Toss? Asking These 15 Questions Can Make Decluttering Easier

I recently moved to a new state and a new home. Moves like that are always exciting/scary/full of unknowns, but the one thing you can always count on is that you will be overwhelmed by how much stuff you have.

It never fails: I begin packing a room and I’ve only just begun when I find things I forgot I owned and clearly have no need for. You would think that means I just throw them in the trash, right? Wrong. I have a terrible habit of associating memories and nostalgia onto the cluttering objects in my home, and before I know it, I’m out of boxes because I can’t let anything go!

As Elsa Says, Let It Go!

I was determined to make this move different, so I developed a mantra: If you don’t love it enough to pack it, you don’t love it enough to move it. Basically, if I didn’t want to take the time to put it into a box and label the box, I probably didn’t need the item in my new home. It was hard, but so worth it. Now that I’m unpacked in the new house, I feel like I’m in a better mood and I can focus. It turns out, science finds that decluttering can bring you the following benefits:

  • You can concentrate better – Neuroscientists at Princeton University have shown that people working in an organized environment are able to be more productive and focused than someone working in a disorganized setting.[1]
  • You have better sleep – This goes along with the last point in the sense that cluttered rooms don’t allow your brain to focus on one task at a time. When the only thing you’re trying to accomplish is sleep, willing yourself to relax can be impossible in a messy room.
  • You’ll be happier – It turns out, clutter can make you a real Grumpy Gus. Clutter is basically the visual noise. When you keep walking past it at your home, your brain subconsciously receives the message that you don’t have your life together.
  • You can finally let go of the past – If you’re like me and your useless items seem to hang around because of nostalgia, it’s good to remember that sometimes memories can be toxic. Jessie Sholl said it best: “In many cases, the way clutter affects us has little to do with quantity. A piece of art painted by an ex-lover hanging over the bed can carry more emotional heft than a messy closetful of extra sheets and towels…”
  • You’ll amp up your productivity – When you’re surrounded by half-completed projects, all you have done is created an environment that constantly reminds you of your failures. Sure, maybe you have all those old jeans in the closet because you intend to lose weight, but right now they’re just taking up space. You can buy new jeans, but you can’t buy new sanity.
  • You’ll be more creative – Yes, some artists and creators work best amongst chaos, but as a general rule, you are far more imaginative when working in a clean, clutter-free environment.

15 Questions to Help You Decide What to Keep and What to Toss

It’s not always easy to donate or dispose of an item, but having a list of questions to ask yourself can help simplify the process. So whether you’re packing your house, like I was, or just trying to clean up the junk, ask yourself these 15 questions to make the process go smoothly.[2]

1. When was the last time I used/needed this?

If you have an item because you might need it one day, you probably don’t need it! I like to turn my hangers to all face a certain way in my closet and turn them around when I wear the article of clothing that was hanging on them. After a certain amount of time, I take stock. If my time frame was 6 months and there are a few things I didn’t wear, I donate them.

2. Is this item useful?

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It can be tempting to determine how it could be useful in the future, but consider the present moment. If you don’t use the item regularly, you probably won’t need it any time soon. Get rid of it.

3. How many do I have vs. how many do I need?

I experienced this question when it came to packing my kitchen. I had four sets of pots and pans. Why!? I picked the nicest ones and donated the rest. I was amazed at how much space this freed up.

4. Do I need this item because it has useful information?

Look, books are necessary and sometimes beautiful, but if you’re holding on to 5 volumes of encyclopedias, you’re a hoarder. This is the age of the internet. If you need to know something now-a-days, you simply Google it.

5. Do I even like this?

I’m guilty of this one, and my fiancé is terrible about it! It’s wonderful to receive gifts, but when you don’t need the thing gifted to you, let alone like it, it turns into clutter. This can be stressful because you feel guilty about getting rid of it. I have news for you: your mother-in-law is never going to ask what happened to that magnet she brought you back from her trip. Get rid of it.

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6. Will I lose my good memories if I lose this item?

After my dad passed away, I realized how many things I was no longer capable of parting with because he had given them to me. Just looking at the items gave me peace because they made me think of happy times with my father. But I quickly realized there were certain items that could be displayed and appreciated all the time, and others he would understand me parting with (like the shirt he brought me from a trip that never fit).

7. Am I only keeping this because it was expensive?

This was hard for me for a long time. I hated getting rid of a handbag or a pair of shoes I didn’t wear any longer because I still remembered what I paid for them! Thankfully there are tons of websites now where you can consign designer/high-end items and get a little money for them.

8. Do I care about it enough to clean it?

Remember my mantra about throwing out an item I didn’t love enough to pack? This question is similar. If an item is out on display (like that cat figurine your grandmother gave you), it will require dusting and maintenance. Do you love it enough to do that? If not, it needs to go.

9. Do I care about it enough to make room for it?

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In college, I moved back in with my parents briefly after renting a house on my own. When I started renting the house, it was completely empty, so I had to buy all new furniture. This was great until I was suddenly having to pay a storage unit to house it. I got so sick of the bill that I sold all the furniture and cancelled my storage unit. Was it hard to part with furniture I had loved? Sure. Was it worth it? Absolutely.

10. Do I feel the need to move it when I’m looking for something else?

If an item is in your way on a daily basis, there will never come a day when it suddenly serves you in some way. Accept that it needs to go and get rid of it.

11. Does it serve any purpose aside from being decorative?

I love home decor. Love it. But I try to justify the decor in my new home to ensure I’m not filling it with space-taking items. If I can’t come up with a useful purpose for an item, then I don’t bring it home. And if the item in my home is not useful, then I don’t let it stay.

12. I love it! But will I love it in six months?

This is a great question to ask when thinking of buying something that could become clutter and to ask when trying to de-clutter. You may really love a certain item, but will you love it in six months? A year? If you aren’t 100% sure that the answer is yes, you probably want to reconsider owning it.

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13. Do I want to pack and unpack this item when we move?

What, are you surprised it made the list? Whether you move constantly because of a job or you just love the feeling of freedom, think long and hard before bringing clutter from one place to another.

14. If this item was stolen and pawned, would you buy it back?

In the middle of moving out of that home I rented, I had a jewelry box stolen from me. Along with some costume jewelry, I had quite a few expensive pieces in there, some that had come from my late father. This was devastating (and still hurts today!). If I were to find every single one of those items in a pawn shop tomorrow, there are only a few that I would care enough to re-purchase. While the way it happened was less than ideal, it was a good lesson in realizing what is important to me and what I have around for the sake of owning.

15. What is this? What is this for?

This one is pretty self-explanatory, but just to hammer the point home, I’ll explain: If you find yourself looking at an object and questioning what it is, how you wound up with it, or why you would use it, you definitely don’t need that thing taking up space.

Happy cleaning!

Reference

More by this author

Heather Poole

Heather shares about everyday lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

The 7 Types of Learners: What Kind of Learner Am I? What If All the Choices You Make Every Day Aren’t What You Need Most? What To Eat (And Not To Eat) When You Are Suffering From Inflammation! Yes Life Can Be Boring Sometimes. But There’re Some Tricks to Make It More Interesting Why Our Personal Values Matter More Than Ever Today

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Last Updated on March 25, 2020

How Do You Change a Habit (According to Psychology)

How Do You Change a Habit (According to Psychology)

Habits are hard to kill, and rightly so. They are a part and parcel of your personality traits and mold your character.

However, habits are not always something over-the-top and quirky enough to get noticed. Think of subtle habits like tapping fingers when you are nervous and humming songs while you drive. These are nothing but ingrained habits that you may not realize easily.

Just take a few minutes and think of something specific that you do all the time. You will notice how it has become a habit for you without any explicit realization. Everything you do on a daily basis starting with your morning routine, lunch preferences to exercise routines are all habits.

Habits mostly form from life experiences and certain observed behaviors, not all of them are healthy. Habitual smoking can be dangerous to your health. Similarly, a habit could also make you lose out on enjoying something to its best – like how some people just cannot stop swaying their bodies when delivering a speech.

Thus, there could be a few habits that you would want to change about yourself. But changing habits is not as easy as it seems.

In this article, you will learn why it isn’t easy to build new habits, and how to change habits.

What Makes It Hard To Change A Habit?

To want to change a particular habit means to change something very fundamental about your behavior.[1] Hence, it’s necessary to understand how habits actually form and why they are so difficult to actually get out of.

The Biology

Habits form in a place what we call the subconscious mind in our brain.[2]

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Our brains have two modes of operation. The first one is an automatic pilot kind of system that is fast and works on reflexes often. It is what we call the subconscious part. This is the part that is associated with everything that comes naturally to you.

The second mode is the conscious mode where every action and decision is well thought out and follows a controlled way of thinking.

A fine example to distinguish both would be to consider yourself learning to drive or play an instrument. For the first time you try learning, you think before every movement you make. But once you have got the hang of it, you might drive without applying much thought into it.

Both systems work together in our brains at all times. When a habit is formed, it moves from the conscious part to the subconscious making it difficult to control.

So, the key idea in deconstructing a habit is to go from the subconscious to the conscious.

Another thing you have to understand about habits is that they can be conscious or hidden.

Conscious habits are those that require active input from your side. For instance, if you stop setting your alarm in the morning, you will stop waking up at the same time.

Hidden habits, on the other hand, are habits that we do without realizing. These make up the majority of our habits and we wouldn’t even know them until someone pointed them out. So the first difficulty in breaking these habits is to actually identify them. As they are internalized, they need a lot of attention to detail for self-identification. That’s not all.

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Habits can be physical, social, and mental, energy-based and even be particular to productivity. Understanding them is necessary to know why they are difficult to break and what can be done about them.

The Psychology

Habits get engraved into our memories depending on the way we think, feel and act over a particular period of time. The procedural part of memory deals with habit formation and studies have observed that various types of conditioning of behavior could affect your habit formations.

Classical conditioning or pavlovian conditioning is when you start associating a memory with reality.[3] A dog that associates ringing bell to food will start salivating. The same external stimuli such as the sound of church bells can make a person want to pray.

Operant conditioning is when experience and the feelings associated with it form a habit.[4] By encouraging or discouraging an act, individuals could either make it a habit or stop doing it.

Observational learning is another way habits could take form. A child may start walking the same way their parent does.

What Can You Do To Change a Habit?

Sure, habits are hard to control but it is not impossible. With a few tips and hard-driven dedication, you can surely get over your nasty habits.

Here are some ways that make use of psychological findings to help you:

1. Identify Your Habits

As mentioned earlier, habits can be quite subtle and hidden from your view. You have to bring your subconscious habits to an aware state of mind. You could do it by self-observation or by asking your friends or family to point out the habit for your sake.

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2. Find out the Impact of Your Habit

Every habit produces an effect – either physical or mental. Find out what exactly it is doing to you. Does it help you relieve stress or does it give you some pain relief?

It could be anything simple. Sometimes biting your nails could be calming your nerves. Understanding the effect of a habit is necessary to control it.

3. Apply Logic

You don’t need to be force-fed with wisdom and advice to know what an unhealthy habit could do to you.

Late-night binge-watching just before an important presentation is not going to help you. Take a moment and apply your own wisdom and logic to control your seemingly nastily habits.

4. Choose an Alternative

As I said, every habit induces some feeling. So, it could be quite difficult to get over it unless you find something else that can replace it. It can be a simple non-harming new habit that you can cultivate to get over a bad habit.

Say you have the habit of banging your head hard when you are angry. That’s going to be bad for you. Instead, the next time you are angry, just take a deep breath and count to 10. Or maybe start imagining yourself on a luxury yacht. Just think of something that will work for you.

5. Remove Triggers

Get rid of items and situations that can trigger your bad habit.

Stay away from smoke breaks if you are trying to quit it. Remove all those candy bars from the fridge if you want to control your sweet cravings.

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6. Visualize Change

Our brains can be trained to forget a habit if we start visualizing the change. Serious visualization is retained and helps as a motivator in breaking the habit loop.

For instance, to replace your habit of waking up late, visualize yourself waking up early and enjoying the early morning jog every day. By continuing this, you would naturally feel better to wake up early and do your new hobby.

7. Avoid Negative Talks and Thinking

Just as how our brain is trained to accept a change in habit, continuous negative talk and thinking could hamper your efforts put into breaking a habit.

Believe you can get out of it and assert yourself the same.

Final Thoughts

Changing habits isn’t easy, so do not expect an overnight change!

Habits took a long time to form. It could take a while to completely break out of it. You will have to accept that sometimes you may falter in your efforts. Don’t let negativity seep in when it seems hard. Keep going at it slowly and steadily.

More About Changing Habits

Featured photo credit: Mel via unsplash.com

Reference

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