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If You Talk to Yourself, You’re an Effective Learner

If You Talk to Yourself, You’re an Effective Learner

I know we have all been there before. Have you ever been in that moment when you are overwhelmed? Have you ever felt in need of alone time to well, gather your thoughts? During those moments some reflect, but if you are like others, many take the time to just talk to themselves. Is it normal to talk to yourself?

Now, before you begin to judge think about it like this. We are being influenced by our everyday surroundings and are often rushed with propaganda. One could imply that media has a way of curving our perception and how we react to daily situations. That’s why one could find comfort in talking to themselves. The question is, do you?

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Science Says It Can Be Actually Beneficial to Us

Although, there is no clinical definition, or word for talking to yourself there are many surprising benefits to the practice. There have also been studies that have shown this could be a great cognitive boost.

One study in particular [1] found that a group of multiple volunteers was presented multiple pictures of objects and then told to pick the one with a banana. The other half did the task in silent and the other group repeatedly constantly spoke the word “banana” out loud for the entire session. During the session the self-talkers found the picture of the banana much quicker.

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It’s also known that children tend to be more responsive when they talked their way through something new while learning with a natural instinct. We only lose this great habit as we age and fear that talking outwardly among ourselves may be seen as a sign of a breakdown, or being crazy.

Now, this is not to take away from the fact that various mental illnesses like schizophrenia have talking to themselves as an associated symptom. However, we can at least conclude that things are not always as they seem.

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Talking to Yourself Is a Two-edge Sword

This concept can sometimes be a two-way street depending upon your individual outlook. So how can this habit help or hurt you in the long run?

When talking to yourself during certain situations it can be very beneficial. Talking to yourself can actually be a stress reliever. Just think about it, sometimes you are your number one therapist and motivator. Talking through life’s problems can be a great way to work through your issues. Just by the mere way our ideals are shaped by the media, family and surroundings we can come to positive solutions through this practice.

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There have also been studies that suggest this practice is relegated to individuals with a genius level IQ. By talking yourself during your tasks, you are making the decision to focus on your task extensively. It’s difficult to lose focus, or become distracted when you are speaking.

Verbalizing your actions outwardly helps you to stay on track and think logically about your next steps. Although this practice has it’s up there are downs to it as well. At times you can be so critical of yourself that you can overthink.

Sometimes overthinking through this practice has led many to suicide, mental-breakdowns and substance abuse. In the event you find yourself in this space call a friend, or see a therapist immediately to help you. Below you will find a list of reputable sources to help, if you ever find yourself going into a negative space:

  • Spiritual Leader
  • Therapist
  • Friend
  • Family Member

No matter where you find yourself on the spectrum, you must always figure out what works best for you. Although the presented information may be suggestive, or opinionated there is tons of great information to help you. No one has all the answers. In the end though the choice and power lies within every individual to know what works for them.

Reference

[1] The Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology: Self-directed speech affects visual performance

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Christopher Alston

Small Business Owner

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Last Updated on October 16, 2019

5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships

5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships

We all have relationships. We have acquaintances, relatives, colleagues, neighbors and friends. However, for a large percentage of us, many of these relationships are not fulfilling.

They are unfulfilling because they lack real strength; and they lack real strength because they lack real depth.

Unfortunately, in today’s society, we tend to have shallow, superficial relationships with others, and it’s extremely hard for this kind of relationships to provide anything more than faint satisfaction.

I’d like to show you, based on my experience as a communication and confidence coach, how you can add a significant amount of depth, and thus strength, to your relationships and make your social life a whole lot more meaningful.

Here’re 5 simple yet powerful ways for meaningful relationships building:

1. Meet More People

This is an apparent paradox, but the quality of the people you meet has considerably to do with the quantity of people you meet.

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If you don’t know a lot of people and you barely meet one or two new people every season of the year, considering the variety of individuals out there, you won’t meet very often people who are a good match with you in terms of personality, interests and values.

And since this natural match plays a huge part in building strong relationships, you’ll just as seldom have the opportunity to develop strong relationships.

Conversely, if you go out a lot, you meet a lot of new people and you constantly expand your social circle, you’re much more likely to meet people you match up well with, and these people have a tremendous potential to become good friends, reliable partners, etc.

This is why it’s important to meet more people.

2. Talk about the Things That Matter To You

A relationship becomes the strongest when two people discover they believe in the same things and have similar interests. It’s these commonalities regarding values and interests that create the strongest emotional connection.

I’ve noticed that many people keep conversations shallow. They talk about trivial stuff such as the weather, what’s on TV, the lives of various movie stars, but they rarely talk about what really matters to them in life. This is a mistake from my perspective, because it’s the perfect method for a relationship to not develop.

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Talk about the things that truly matter to you and give others a chance to know what you care about and what you believe in. If they believe in the same things and they care about the same things, they’ll eagerly let you know. Thus you’ll find meaningful common ground and you’ll feel more connected.

3. Express Vulnerability

Many people try to come off as perfect. They don’t talk about their failures, they hide their shortcomings and they never say anything that could embarrass them.

This is all just a facade though. You may appear perfect to some, but you know you’re not perfect and they know that too. You’re only human and humans have flaws.

However, by hiding your flaws, what you do succeed in is appearing cold and impersonal. You seem like a marble statue rather than a real person. And this makes it very hard for anyone to connect with you emotionally.

Humans connect with other humans, not with ideals. Keep this in mind and don’t be afraid to let your vulnerability and your humanity show. This is what takes a relationship to the next level.

Take a look at this article and find out Why Showing Vulnerability Actually Proves Your Strength.

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4. Have Integrity

Integrity, as I see it, is the alignment between your thoughts, your words and your actions. When you say what you think and you do what you said you’ll do, you have integrity.

This is a crucial trait because if you have integrity, people can trust you. They can trust you to give them an honest feedback, even when it’s hard to shallow, and they can trust you to keep your promises.

This trust is one of the central pillars of a strong relationship, both in your personal and your professional life. So, as challenging as it can be sometimes, always try to have integrity.

Be honest with the people around you, even when this will initially hurt them. It’s more important for them to trust you than to not feel hurt. And always do what you promised. Even better, think twice before you promise anything, and only promise what you really can and you are willing to do.

5. Be There for Others

Another central pillar of strong relationships is support. Connections between people grow sturdy if they can rely on each other for support when it’s needed, whether that support means a few kind words or several massive actions.

Of course, you can’t be there for everybody, all the time. Your time, energy and other resources are limited. But what you can do is identify the genuinely important people in your life and then seek to be there as much as possible, at least for them.

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Your support will help them practically, and it will comfort them emotionally; which makes one hell of a difference in a relationship.

The Bottom Line

With the right mindset and the right behavior, you can strengthen a wide range of relationships in your life and advance them as far as they can be advanced.

And with strong relationships, not only that you feel more fulfilled, but you feel more connected to the entire world. You feel that your life has real value, you have more fun and you live in the moment. An entire world of opportunities opens up in front of you.

Then your task is to simply walk through the open doors.

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Featured photo credit: Proxyclick Visitor Management System via unsplash.com

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