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Things Could Have Ended Differently If You Read These Relationship Advice Earlier

Things Could Have Ended Differently If You Read These Relationship Advice Earlier

Think back to your first relationship. Is there any advice you wish you could go back in time and give yourself? You’re not the only one. Most of us realize far too late how to have a healthy, successful relationship.

This article will share loads of relationship wisdom to give you a head start on the road to a happy partnership.

Are you ready for relationship advice that could change your life?

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Have Realistic Expectations of Love

Although we often think of love as a strong, everlasting, all-or-nothing feeling, science actually proves that’s not the case. Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson carried out studies showing that feeling constant love for somebody is impossible. Instead, love happens in “micro-moments of positive resonance”, when you spend happy, connected time with someone you care about. [1]

If you feel like you’re falling out of love with someone, stop and assess your feelings. It’s biologically impossible to feel love all of the time, and it’s natural to sometimes feel irritated by your partner. Stop chasing unrealistic ideas of ‘true love’, and instead focus on enjoying the time you spend with your partner.

Before Working on Your Relationship, First Make Sure You’re Together for the Right Reasons

Not every relationship will work out. If you’re having doubts, it can be helpful to look at the reasons why you’re in a relationship. If you’re together for any of the reasons listed below, it might be time to rethink.

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  • You felt pressure to get into the relationship – either from your partner, family or friends.
  • You just didn’t want to be single any longer.
  • You felt like the relationship would make you look good, improve your social status, or help you gain popularity.
  • You wanted somebody to ‘fix’ your problems.
  • You were young and naive when the relationship began.

These reasons don’t have to be a definite reason to break up, but spending time thinking about them should help you to get some clarity on your feelings.

If It’s Really an Unhealthy one, Just Quit It

It can be hard to objectively assess your own relationship, but it’s worth taking the time to do so. If any of the following signs are present in your relationship, it’s a strong indication that something could be wrong.

  • You feel like you and your partner bring out the worst in each other.
  • Your partner doesn’t respect you saying ‘no’ to something.
  • You aren’t able to compromise during disagreements.
  • You feel threatened by your partner.
  • One or both of you has lied during the relationship.
  • Your partner is controlling or manipulative.
  • You can’t envision a positive future together.

There’s only so much you can achieve by following relationship advice – in some cases, you might be better off ending the relationship all together.

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When You Know It’s a Right One, Make an Effort to Keep the Spark Alive

Whether you’ve been together for two months or 20 years, making an effort to keep your relationship feeling fresh and exciting is essential. Dedicate time to ‘dating’ each other, even if you live together.

You could schedule a weekly or monthly date night, a weekend break every six months, or a weeks’ holiday every year.

Stick to your plan and don’t let work or other commitments get in the way. Working on your relationship is just as important as working on your career.

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Stop Comparing Your Relationship to Others

No two relationships are the same. It might look like your best friend has the perfect boyfriend, or your coworker is in the ideal marriage, but you can never truly know what’s going on behind the scenes. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on what’s great about your own relationship.

Combine Love and Commitment

Love alone isn’t enough to keep a relationship alive – ask any elderly married couple. There will probably be times when you feel like you hate your partner, and that’s when commitment comes in. Committing to someone means sticking with them even when things are hard, and it’s key to a long-lasting relationship. If you’re the type of person to break up the second something goes wrong, try to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. It could prevent you from making a decision you’ll regret.

You can’t predict the future of a relationship, but you can use wise relationship advice to give yourself and your partner the best chance of succeeding.

Reference

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Eloise Best

Eloise is an everyday health expert and runs My Vegan Supermarket, a vegan blog and database of supermarket products.

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

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Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

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