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Everyone Shows Love In A Different Way, Find Your Partner’s Love Language

Everyone Shows Love In A Different Way, Find Your Partner’s Love Language

Have you ever felt frustrated when your partner doesn’t understand you? Does it ever feel like the two of you speak a different language? The truth is, you probably do. Every single person in the world understands love and expresses it in a different way. You might have trouble understanding each other because you express love differently. This doesn’t mean that one of you loves the other any more or less.

So how are we supposed to understand our partners if we speak different languages? Gary Chapman, relationship counselor and author, wrote a book about it – “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts.” By learning which language you speak and which language your partner speaks, you can make your relationship better.

What are the 5 Love Languages?

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1. Words of Affirmation

    If you speak this language, it means that you express love through words. Maybe you constantly affirm your love, give praise, or verbalize appreciation of your partner. Tell your partner that this is how you express your love. It also works the other way around. If you understand love through words of affirmation, make sure your significant other understands that. It’s amazing how much a comment like “thank you so much for sharing your life with me,” can make you feel.

    2. Acts of Service

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      The ‘acts of service’ love language means that, for you, actions speak louder than words. This is usually the love language of somebody who is practical and isn’t impressed by frills. Tell your partner how much it means to you when they prepare your morning coffee, wash the dishes, or pick up around the house. And if this is your significant other’s love language, make sure to do little things for them, too! Help them get ready in the morning, pack their lunch, or get their car washed. These acts let them know you’re thinking of them.

      3. Receiving Gifts

        A lot of people think that somebody who likes receiving gifts is shallow. But, this simply isn’t true. Receiving gifts from the person you love lets you know that they took time out of their day and thought about you and how to make you happy. If this is your love language, these gifts are little tokens of love and affection. It doesn’t have to be big. Something as simple as your favorite candy bar or a single flower is enough to show that you care.

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        4. Quality Time

          For people with this love language, time says it all. You feel on top of the world when your partner chooses to spend their day with you. And why not? In today’s world, time is a precious resource. Let the love of your life know that your love language is quality time. You need picnics at the park, walks on the beach, and weekend road trips. If this is your partner’s language, make sure to give them all the time they need to feel loved and appreciated.

          5. Physical Touch

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            Who doesn’t love hugs and kisses? We all do, of course. But, some people need them more than others in order to feel loved. If this is you, let your partner know how safe you feel when you’re cuddled up in bed together. Just for a moment, you can forget about the rest of the world. If this is your significant other’s love language, make sure to grab their hand next time you’re at the supermarket or sit extra close at the movies. Displaying this love language can help them feel appreciated and bring the two of you closer together.

            Remember, there is no one right way to love. When you learn what your partner identifies as an expression of love, it can change your relationship. And when you start “hearing” your love language, you’ll stop feeling misunderstood. We all want and need to feel loved, that feeling just happens in a different way for different people.

            Featured Photo Credits: Couple Smiling Behind Books, Washing Car, Single Flower, People Sitting With Yellow Flowers, Couple Hugging

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            Amber Pariona

            EFL Teacher, Lifehack Writer, English/Spanish Translator, MPA

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            Last Updated on October 17, 2019

            How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

            How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

            You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

            But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

            Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

            What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

            Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

            So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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            1. Recognize the Signs

            If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

            Some telltale signs include:

            • You’re always on your phones.
            • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
            • You aren’t together during important events.
            • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
            • You don’t make plans or date nights.
            • You’re not happy.

            If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

            2. Try New Things Together

            Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

            Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

            Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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            Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

            3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

            Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

            Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

            Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

            4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

            One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

            Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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            5. Cook Meals Together

            Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

            One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

            Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

            If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

            6. Have a Regular Date Night

            Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

            The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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            Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

            • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
            • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
            • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
            • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
            • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
            • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
            • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

            Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

            Final Thoughts

            The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

            • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
            • Lowers divorce rates
            • Improves communication
            • Reduces marital boredom
            • Bonds couples closer
            • Improves friendship
            • Boosts health
            • Reduces stress

            These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

            It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

            These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

            Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

            Reference

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