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Teasing Someone “Nicely” Is What Builds A Close Relationship

Teasing Someone “Nicely” Is What Builds A Close Relationship

When you hear the word “teasing”, it sounds a bit..negative isn’t it? It often relates to bullying or in simple term, hurting someone’s feelings.

Here’s one classic example from the Harry Potter book series where Draco Malfoy called Hermione Granger “You filthy little Mudblood” (just in case you are not an HP fan, that’s an insulting term used to describe people who are not from a wizard family AKA pure blood).

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This is what I called nasty teasing. You can see not only anger from Hermione’s eyes but that the insult has also triggered her friends too. It’s like pinpointing someone’s weakness, and giving it a direct punch to make he/she feel even worse about it.

Teasing at the “Sweet Spot” is a different story.

However, being able to tease your loved ones at the “sweet spot” is a sign of close relationship. Teasing someone at the sweet spot requires the right tone, the right language and at the right time. You might think, “Wow that sounds a lot of work!” but if you know that person well and have developed a deep and quality relationship with him/her, this kind of teasing (affectionate teasing) should come naturally during your conversations and add a lot of fun to it too.

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If nasty teasing is a direct punch to the victim, affectionate teasing is like playing water splashing with your friends at the beach. It’s a natural thing to play, it might hurt you a bit if sea water gets into your eyes but it’s fun to do and no one will end up feeling sad or angry (it typically ends with laughter).

“Ron, just because you have the emotional range as a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all do”, this is, again a classic teasing scene from the Harry Potter series where Harry, Hermione and Ron discuss Harry’s feeling for Cho. You can see from the clip the 3 of them burst into laughter after listening to Hermione’s teasing.

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Affectionate teasing from others can help us reveal our true self to the world, in a nice way.

Affectionate teasing won’t create tension. It only brings joy and adds a sense of humor into the conversion. This can only happen between people with close relationships. It’s a sign of deep understanding of your weaknesses, your true self and personalities or simply some precious moments (most likely embarrassing yet funny moments) that you and your loved ones once shared together.

Other than that, a video created by The School Of life suggested that we enjoy being warmly teased because deep down we know the teaser understands we are sometimes not what we presented to the world, we hide some parts of our true self due to the norms society imposes on us.

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The feeling of not being able to be ourselves is awful and a warm teasing at this moment can make us feel better. It touches our hearts because we know there is someone in the room that at least understand us. After all who doesn’t love to be understood?

Take a moment to watch the video and see if you deepen your relationship with your partner, friends or families by teasing them “nicely”.

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Jolie Choi

Having experienced her own extreme transformation process, Jolie strongly believes that staying healthy takes determined and consistent action.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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