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Teasing Someone “Nicely” Is What Builds A Close Relationship

Teasing Someone “Nicely” Is What Builds A Close Relationship

When you hear the word “teasing”, it sounds a bit..negative isn’t it? It often relates to bullying or in simple term, hurting someone’s feelings.

Here’s one classic example from the Harry Potter book series where Draco Malfoy called Hermione Granger “You filthy little Mudblood” (just in case you are not an HP fan, that’s an insulting term used to describe people who are not from a wizard family AKA pure blood).

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This is what I called nasty teasing. You can see not only anger from Hermione’s eyes but that the insult has also triggered her friends too. It’s like pinpointing someone’s weakness, and giving it a direct punch to make he/she feel even worse about it.

Teasing at the “Sweet Spot” is a different story.

However, being able to tease your loved ones at the “sweet spot” is a sign of close relationship. Teasing someone at the sweet spot requires the right tone, the right language and at the right time. You might think, “Wow that sounds a lot of work!” but if you know that person well and have developed a deep and quality relationship with him/her, this kind of teasing (affectionate teasing) should come naturally during your conversations and add a lot of fun to it too.

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If nasty teasing is a direct punch to the victim, affectionate teasing is like playing water splashing with your friends at the beach. It’s a natural thing to play, it might hurt you a bit if sea water gets into your eyes but it’s fun to do and no one will end up feeling sad or angry (it typically ends with laughter).

“Ron, just because you have the emotional range as a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all do”, this is, again a classic teasing scene from the Harry Potter series where Harry, Hermione and Ron discuss Harry’s feeling for Cho. You can see from the clip the 3 of them burst into laughter after listening to Hermione’s teasing.

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Affectionate teasing from others can help us reveal our true self to the world, in a nice way.

Affectionate teasing won’t create tension. It only brings joy and adds a sense of humor into the conversion. This can only happen between people with close relationships. It’s a sign of deep understanding of your weaknesses, your true self and personalities or simply some precious moments (most likely embarrassing yet funny moments) that you and your loved ones once shared together.

Other than that, a video created by The School Of life suggested that we enjoy being warmly teased because deep down we know the teaser understands we are sometimes not what we presented to the world, we hide some parts of our true self due to the norms society imposes on us.

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The feeling of not being able to be ourselves is awful and a warm teasing at this moment can make us feel better. It touches our hearts because we know there is someone in the room that at least understand us. After all who doesn’t love to be understood?

Take a moment to watch the video and see if you deepen your relationship with your partner, friends or families by teasing them “nicely”.

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Jolie Choi

Gone through a few heartbreaks and lost hundreds of friends but I am still happy with my life.

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Last Updated on December 2, 2018

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

1. Connecting them with each other

Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

2. Connect with their emotions

Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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3. Keep going back to the beginning

Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

4. Link to your audience’s motivation

After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

5. Entertain them

While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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6. Appeal to loyalty

Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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