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How Laughing At Yourself Makes You Attractive Instantly

How Laughing At Yourself Makes You Attractive Instantly

Have you ever embarrassed yourself in public and got laughed at for it? Say, Have you accidentally burped in the middle of an important meeting or knocked over the water when you were talking with someone?

Chances are we all have this kind of experience, and it’s okay— you should even have a laugh about them.

Laughing at yourself means embracing who you really are.[1]

Most of us have insecurities, or feel bad about ourselves because of past mishaps. However, it’s normal to be imperfect—it’s our imperfections that make us humans.

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That being said, you should stop worrying about having to convince others of your worth, or maintaining an ideal image of yourself. Let them worry about how they judge you instead.

What’s important is that you are honest with yourself about who you are, and accept yourself despite your flaws. Self-acceptance is key to self-confidence, and you won’t be able to laugh at yourself without first accepting yourself!

Being a little sceptical about yourself actually helps to boost your confidence.

Usually, people who are able to laugh at themselves are the optimistic ones; and optimistic people tend to be more successful in life.[2]. This is because poking fun at ourselves contributes to our mental health and helps lift our mood in the face of difficulties or embarrassment. More importantly, it helps us realize our own weaknesses so we know which areas to do better.

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Another study indicated that  joking about your own mistakes means you are able to move on from them.[3] This is a personality trait that is beneficial to your mental well-being, helping you perform well in stressful situations, contributing to your general happiness.

So, knowing how to joke about your weaknesses actually means you’re happy and confident about yourself — no one is more attractive than a confident person!

When you laugh at yourself, people will probably like you more because you’re being real.

While laughing at someone else may hurt their feelings even if you didn’t intend to, laughing at yourself does not—you might even bring a smile to their faces (surprised?).

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Don’t worry about losing respect from others, because people actually appreciate it when you laugh at yourself.[4] Laughing at yourself shows that you have the courage to do so and you’re being real about your imperfections, making people think you are likeable instead of cranky and uptight all the time.

You don’t need to take yourself seriously all the times, just laugh about yourself more. Don’t know how to start with that? Try this:

Try to laugh about your past experiences, that’s how you find materials for some good jokes.

Laughing at yourself isn’t always easy, but you can start with some past experiences or little flaws in your.

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Try to understand yourself better, think about the things you’re bad in. Think about some past mistakes you made — was it the time you messed up a document with another colleague? or the time you forgot about an important appointment?

Instead of criticizing yourself all over again, spin the mistakes in a positive way. Think of some small details of that experience that you also find them silly to laugh at until today.

Just remember: it is human to make mistakes; and you have to accept yourself just as you are—a perfectly flawed person. Learn to laugh at yourself, and you will be so much happier.

Reference

More by this author

Wen Shan

Proud Philosophy grad. Based in HK.

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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