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How To Answer The Awkward Questions In Family Gatherings

How To Answer The Awkward Questions In Family Gatherings

There is nothing better than having family reunions on special occasions. We all love our families but sometimes we are hesitant about attending such gatherings because of the awkward questions that accompany them.

Nearly no one can escape from such embarrassing questions. When I was single, my Aunt would pester me with, ‘Why are you still single? Are you being too choosy?’; Now that I have a boyfriend, the question becomes ‘When are you getting married?’.  Next it will be “When are you gonna have kids?”.  As it turns out, you’re not alone.  These types of questions are a thing that all families (big or small) share.

When Your Answer Can’t Save You From The Embarrassing Moment…

The worst case is when you refuse to answer their questions, and they comment on your behavior or attitude. Saying that it is “none of your business” might be the simplest answer but they may probably think that you are impolite and disrespectful. In the end, none of us want to create barriers within our family relationships.

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But giving a brief answer doesn’t always work. ‘I don’t have any plans on this’ is a rather vague answer, and not everyone understands you are actually saying ‘please don’t ask anymore for God’s sake’. Instead, they might keep asking more! You will soon realize how exhausting it is to answer all of their endless questions.

You Can Gain The Upper Hand By Asking This Question!

The more effective way to deal with these questions is to first figure out their intentions. People never ask a question without any intentions. Asking about their intentions can reverse your position, from a passive role as you used to play to a rather active one. With a simple twist, you can become the one in control of the conversation.

Flipping the question around is one of the best ways to figure out their intentions while avoiding misunderstandings:

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Why are you still single? Are you being too choosy?
You: Are you worried that I might be lonely?
When are you getting married?
You: Are you concerned that I am waiting too long?

Very quickly, you’ll be able to discern just what your relative really wants to know.  Those who ask with a kind intention may simply be expressing their concerns, allowing the conversation to flow into a smoother and more constructive path. Even if they are just being nosy or really intended to embarrass you, this technique will allow you to stay in control of the conversation and deflect the focus of attention.

But be aware of your tone and body language. Sometimes the awkward questions they ask might irritate you. But you need to take a deep breath and be calm when you respond so that you don’t sound defensive or confrontational. Don’t make others feel like you are challenging them or giving them a hard time.

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How To Give Further Response After You Know Their Intentions

Crack A Joke If They Are Nosy

Some people are just being nosy. They don’t really care as much as you think, which means you can probably just crack a joke or say something irrelevant when they ask questions that you’d rather not  answer. Most of them will stop asking when they can’t get what they are looking for.  To move the conversation forward, why not start discussing your interests?  Recent research has proven that it’s one of the best ways to escape from an awkward situation.[1]

Take The Initiative To Share If They Try To Connect

Some ask questions out of kindness and genuine caring. There are some family members that you seldom see so sometimes they might want to break the ice with you by asking some questions. They might not know that these questions are embarrassing for you.  Why not take the initiative to share something about yourself instead?  By taking the reigns, you can steer the conversation in a direction you want, deftly stepping past the sensitive subjects.

Focus Your Time on The Right People

You might not want to admit it, but let’s face it: some of our family or relatives do love to embarrass or irritate us.  While we don’t get to choose who our family members are, we do get to choose what to focus our time and attention on.  Knowing a relative’s conversational intentions will help you to gain better control of yourself and be calmer, allowing you to avoid falling into the trap of taking what they say too personally.  If you can take control of the conversation and not allow things to irritate you, then you can stop things in their tracks before they escalate.

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If you find yourself dreading the next family gathering because of those questions your uncle is going to pester you with, don’t fret!  Stay calm, ask questions to understand their intentions, and take control of the conversation.  With practice, it will come so naturally that you won’t even realize you’re doing it.  Besides, what better people to practice on than your own family?  With this simple technique, you’ll be able to gracefully dance around any awkward situation, whether it’s during a family gathering or pretty much any social situation.

Reference

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Sheba Leung

Translator. Sport lover. Traveler.

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Last Updated on October 18, 2018

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

Life is filled with highs and lows —happiness and struggles that will test your resilience and integrity, push you to overcome challenges and leave you with lessons that will make you even stronger on your way up.

It’s the way you feel and think about yourself, including your expectations and beliefs about what is possible to you, greatly determines everything that happens to you.

It all starts with your thoughts. When you change your thoughts, you transform the quality of your life. (Right, Nancy’s story is a typical example!)

Below is a list of the best motivational quotes to inspire you to start your day with a blast:

Quotes for self-assurance

1. Don’t downgrade your dream just to fit your reality, upgrade your conviction to match your destiny.

    2. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.

      3. You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

        4. The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others

          5. You attract what you are, not what you want. If you want great, then be great.

            6. It’s not who you are that holds you behind, it’s who you think your are not.

              Quotes about positivity

              7. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.

                8. You should never regret anything in life. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it is experience.

                  9. Falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice.

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                    10. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.

                      11. Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

                        12. Don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for great.

                          13. Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned from worst times and from the worst mistakes.

                            Quotes for work and success

                            14. Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove.

                              15. Never stop doing great just because someone doesn’t give you credit.

                                16. Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even if you don’t want to.

                                  17. Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream.

                                    18. The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.

                                      19. Never apologize for having high standards, people who really want to be in your life will rise to meet them.

                                        20. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

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                                          21. Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it, time will pass anyway.

                                            22. Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today.

                                              23. A hill is just another opportunity to leave your competition behind.

                                                24. Don’t quit. You’re already in pain. You’re already hurt. Get a reward from it.

                                                  25. Hustle until you no longer need to introduce yourself.

                                                    26. You didn’t come this far only to come this far.

                                                      27. Be selective in your battles for sometimes peace is better than being right.

                                                        28 If we keep doing what we are doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting.

                                                          29. You will never know your limits until you push yourself to them.

                                                            30. Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.

                                                              31. The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.

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                                                                32. If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough.

                                                                  33. If you can’t handle stress, you won’t manage success.

                                                                    34. Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.

                                                                      35. Don’t mistake silence for weakness. Smart people don’t plan big moves out loud.

                                                                        36. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

                                                                          37. Obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe dedicated.

                                                                            38. You become who you spend your time with.

                                                                              39. Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.

                                                                                40. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.

                                                                                  41. If you don’t build your dreams, someone else will hire you to build theirs.

                                                                                    42. Between stimulus and response is our greatest power –the freedom to choose.

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                                                                                      43. What comes easy won’t last, what lasts won’t come easy.

                                                                                        44. Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.

                                                                                          45. Work until your idols become your rivals.

                                                                                            Quotes about money

                                                                                            46. Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.

                                                                                              47. I create new enemies every day, it’s called business.

                                                                                                48. When you have a Million Dollar vision, don’t surround yourself with 1 cent minds.

                                                                                                  49. You can’t get rich thinking poor.

                                                                                                    50. Doing what is comfortable is rarely profitable.

                                                                                                      51. If you can count your money, work harder.

                                                                                                        If you find yourself feeling lost and frustrated, it’s never too late to change things up. Check out this guide:

                                                                                                        How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

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