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Last Updated on February 5, 2018

Are You Satisfied with Your Relationship or Settling for Less? Take This Test to Find Out

Are You Satisfied with Your Relationship or Settling for Less? Take This Test to Find Out

Have you ever wanted a relationship to work so badly that you ignore all of the signs of its inevitable decline? Don’t feel bad. While it may seem completely evident to an outsider what they would do in your situation, it’s a totally different situation for the person living it. But since you’re here, you’re probably feeling to need to take a step back and get some perspective on your relationship. That’s good!

Try taking the test below and find out your relationship score:

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Grims Questionnaire Of Relationship Satisfaction

Apart from the test, a little soul searching is important in determining whether you are where you need to be in life and what you can do to improve.

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Why Do People Settle For Less?

Why would someone settle for someone who doesn’t match who they were looking for in the first place? Well, before continuing, it’s important to note that you’ll NEVER find someone who meets your idyllic image of your perfect partner to the letter.

That being said, you should be happy with the one you’re with. Many people, however, admit that they are indeed settling for a relationship that doesn’t make them truly happy.[1] There are many reasons people find themselves in this predicament.

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Here are some examples:

  • They’re afraid of being alone. They may feel afraid because they’ve never learned to be on their own, or they may be afraid that they’ll never find anyone else. This is particularly true of people as they get older. One research study recently found that being single was one of the biggest reasons people settle for a less fulfilling relationship.[2]
  • They don’t believe they deserve to be happy. This is harder to detect and has to do with self-esteem. If someone doesn’t feel they deserve joy in their life, they may find it difficult to let go of something that’s doing them more harm than good.
  • They feel guilty about hurting the other person. This one is hard, especially if the two people really do love each other. Sometimes, even two people are in love, they still just aren’t right for one another.
  • They fear losing financial security. This is particularly true if one person is working and the other isn’t. The prospect of losing the security provided by a partner can be frightening, to say the least, if a person has been relying on it for any length of time.
  • They have children. Everything gets more complicated with kids in the mix. People know that if they separate after having kids, it affects them too.

Signs You May Be Settling For Less

  • You consistently feel like the relationship is hindering you or bringing you down. It may feel like it’s an emotional and physical barrier to everything you wish to be or achieve in life.
  • You feel like you can’t be your best with your partner. It’s true that relationships can bring out the best and the worst in people. Hopefully, if the relationship is positive, the rough edges will be smoothed out and you’ll actually grow as a person. If you don’t like who you are when you’re with your partner and nothing you do seems to help, then you may need to move on.
  • You’ve been cheated on one or more times. You’d think this one is obvious, but some people are just more understanding than others. If you’re one of those people, and your partner has cheated on you or betrayed you in some other way several times, you’re definitely settling for less than you deserve.
  • You find yourself feeling apprehensive at the thought of forever with you partner. You should feel excited, glad, and grateful. If you don’t, they may not be the one for you.

There are many other signs you may be settling. If you feel like maybe you are,

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Featured photo credit: Greece via pixabay.com

Reference

[1]Opra.com: Why Do You Settle For Less?
[2]Journal of Personality and Social Psychology: Settling for less out of fear of being single.

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Marina Richter

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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