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3 Realizations People Have That Make Them Become Much More Motivated Every Day

3 Realizations People Have That Make Them Become Much More Motivated Every Day

Sometimes facts should just be accepted, like gravity. You probably have never woken up worrying if a lack of gravity would suddenly send you floating up in the air. No, you already know that gravity exists, every day, stopping you from free-floating, and you deal with it. Like gravity, there are other truths in life that you should accept and when you realize these three certain truths about life, it will help you to become more motivated to create a life worth living.

1. Everyone is insecure about something, it’s not just you

You face doubts and uncertainties, every day of your life. Does this dress make you look fat? Will you know anyone at that conference or are you doomed to sit alone? What if you forget the words to your speech or song? Guess what? You are not alone. Everyone suffers from these doubts and insecurities in life, big and small, from the poorest beggar to the richest entrepreneur.

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A study from UBS Investor Watch[1] showed that millionaires suffer from insecurities too! Just when you thought that the rich had nothing over to fret about, you learn that they worry about losing their money. Undoubtedly, there has been more than one First Lady or female CEO who has asked herself if she looks big in that dress!

Everyone feels insecure about something at one point or another, regardless of status. The trick is to NOT let it rule your life. Don’t let that dress keep you from going to a party or the fear of forgetting your lines stop you from giving that speech. We are all human and prone to mistakes and fears. Accept it and move on.

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2. You will regret the things you didn’t do more than the things you did wrong

Mark Twain once said: “20 years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did.” He then urged his readers to sail forth, sail away from safe harbors, and, “Explore, dream, discover.”

Palliative nurse and author Bronnie Ware penned a book titled, Top Five Regrets of Dying[2]. Working for eight years with hospice and terminal patients, she found that the top regret of a dying person was that “they did not have the courage to live a life true to themselves and instead lived lives others expected of them.” They regretted not living their own dreams. Other regrets were not spending time with family, working too hard, and not expressing their true feelings.

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In the end of life, you won’t feel disappointed with yourself for having made mistakes, but you will regret not tackling the items on your bucket list. You’ll be remorseful over not spending more time with your family and loved ones. And you will lament over not trying to fulfill your dreams. Change your mindset and let that motivate you to live a life you will never regret.

3. If it doesn’t suck, it’s not worth doing

You are probably laughing at this one. If it sucks, why would you do it, right? This tip comes from Ironman Triathlete and US Navy SEAL David Goggins who lives his life by the 40% rule[3]. When your mind tells you that you are finished, you are actually only 40% done. Once you realize this, you can choose to push yourself the remainder of that 60%. You are still capable, but you are stepping beyond your comfort zone.

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No one who made it to the summit of Mount Everest compared their experience to a walk in Central Park, yet they pushed themselves onward with low oxygen levels, facing altitude sickness, freezing cold, and made it to the top. Challenges were meant to be difficult. Not only do they test the limits of your body, but they also expand your mind. When you conquer what you once viewed as an impossible feat, you’ve pressed beyond your comfort zone. Your self-confidence soars. You won’t feel the same effect from sitting on the couch and watching television.

If it sucks to some degree, it’s hard. Nothing worth having comes easy, like cross-country cycling, calculus, redesigning your website, and traveling to Mongolia. Sure it will prove to be an arduous challenge, but the rewards are worth it!

Once you realize these three truths in life, you can let go of the worry. Everyone feels insecure about something. Accept it. Don’t let that fear paralyze you. Not living your dreams will be your biggest regret. Make a plan to live a life of no regrets. And if it doesn’t suck, don’t do it. Switch off that movie, put your phone down, and go find a challenge that will expand your body and mind. This is not a dress rehearsal. You only have this life. Make it count.

Featured photo credit: David Mark via pixabay.com

Reference

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Sally White

writer, artist & blogger

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Last Updated on April 6, 2020

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

Most discussions on positively influencing others eventually touch on Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Written more than 83 years ago, the book touches on a core component of human interaction, building strong relationships. It is no wonder why.

Everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others and formulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pitch a story, teach a course, etc. without building healthy relationships. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but to careful appeals to their sensibilities, occasional withdrawals from the reservoir of respect they’ve built. Using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success.

Carnegie’s book is great. Of course, there are other resources too. Most of us have someone in our lives who positively influences us. The truth is positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are, you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can get you to do things that the average person cannot. Where the requests of others sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, the request from this special person sounds like music to your ears. You’re delighted to not only listen but also to oblige.

So how to influence people in a positive way? Read on for tips.

1. Be Authentic

To influence people in a positive way, be authentic. Rather than being a carbon copy of someone else’s version of authenticity, uncover what it is that makes you unique.

Discover your unique take on an issue and then live up to and honor that. Once of the reasons social media influencers are so powerful is that they have carved out a niche for themselves or taken a common issue and approached it from a novel or uncommon way. People instinctually appreciate people whose public persona matches their private values.

Contradictions bother us because we crave stability. When someone professes to be one way, but lives contrary to that profession, it signals that they are confused or untrustworthy and thereby, inauthentic. Neither of these combinations bode well for positively influencing others.

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2. Listen

Growing up, my father would tell me to listen to what others said. He told me if I listened carefully, I would know all I needed to know about a person’s character, desires and needs.

To positively influence others, you must listen to what is spoken and what is left unsaid. Therein lies the explanation for what people need in order to feel validated, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible, and unseen by their superiors, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person.

Listening meets a person’s primary need of validation and acceptance.

Take a look at this guide on how to be a better listener: How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

3. Become an Expert

Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the given topic, and then look for opportunities to put your education into practice.

You can argue over opinions. You cannot argue, or it is unwise to argue, over facts and experts come with facts.

4. Lead with Story

From years of working in the public relations space, I know that personal narratives, testimonials and impact stories are incredibly powerful. But I never cease to be amazed with how effective a well-timed and told story can be.

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If you want to influence people, learn to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in ordinary terms and in vivid detail. To learn more about how to tell powerful stories, and the ethics of storytelling, take a look at this article: How To Tell An Interesting Story In 4 Simple Steps

5. Lead by Example

It is incredibly inspiring to watch passionate, talented people at work or play. One of the reasons a person who is not an athlete can be in awe of athletic prowess is because human nature appreciates the extraordinary. When we watch the Olympics, Olympic trials, gymnastic competitions, ice skating, and other competitive sports, we can recognize the effort of people who day in and day out give their all. C

ase in point: Simone Biles. The gymnast extraordinaire won her 6TH all-around title at the U.S. Gymnastics Championships after doing a triple double. She was the first woman to do so. Watching her gave me chills. Even non-gymnasts and non-competitive athletes can appreciate the talent required to pull off such a remarkable feat.

We celebrate remarkable accomplishments and believe that their example is proof that we too can accomplish something great, even if it isn’t qualifying for the Olympics. To influence people in a positive way, we must lead by example, lead with intention and execute with excellence.

6. Catch People Doing Good

A powerful way to influence people in a positive way is to catch people doing good. Instead of looking for problems, look for successes. Look for often overlooked, but critically important things that your peers, subordinates and managers do that make the work more effective and more enjoyable.

Once you catch people doing good, name and notice their contributions.

7. Be Effusive with Praise

It did not take me long to notice a remarkable trait of a former boss. He not only began and ended meetings with praise, but he peppered praise throughout the entire meeting. He found a way to celebrate the unique attributes and skills of his team members. He was able to quickly and accurately assess what people were doing well and then let them and their colleagues know.

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Meetings were not just an occasion to go through a “To Do” list, they were opportunities to celebrate accomplishments, no matter how small they are.

8. Be Kind Rather Than Right

I am going to level with you; this one is tough. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of proving oneself. For people who lack confidence, or people who prioritize the opinions of others, being right is important. The validation that comes with being perceived as “right” feeds one’s ego. But in the quest to be “right,” we can hurt other people. Once we’ve hurt someone by being unkind, it is much harder to get them to listen to what we’re trying to influence them to do.

The antidote to influencing others via bullying is to prioritize kindness above rightness. You can be kind and still stand firm in your position. For instance, many people think that they need others to validate their experience. If a person does not see the situation you experienced in the way you see it, you get upset. But your experience is your experience.

If you and your friends go out to eat and you get food poisoning, you do not need your friends to agree that the food served at the restaurant was problematic for you. Your own experience of getting food poisoning is all the validation you need. Therefore, taking time to be right is essentially wasted and, if you were unkind in seeking validation for your food-poison experience, now you’ve really lost points.

9. Understand a Person’s Logical, Emotional and Cooperative Needs

The Center for Creative Leadership has argued that the best way to influence others is to appeal to their logical, emotional and cooperative needs. Their logical need is their rational and educational need. Their emotional need is the information that touches them in a deeply personal manner. The cooperative need is understanding the level of cooperation various individuals need and then appropriately offering it.

The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, a strong emotional appeal will outweigh logical explanations. For others, having an opportunity to collaborate will override emotional connection.

If you know your audience, you will know what they need in order to be positively influenced. If you have limited information about the people whom you are attempting to influence, you will be ineffective.

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10. Understand Your Lane

If you want to positively influence others, operate from your sphere of influence. Operate from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated.

Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then deliver on what that audience wants. When you focus on what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do, and then offer that gift to the people who need it, you are likely more effective. This effectiveness is attractive.

You cannot positively influence others if you are more preoccupied by what others do well versus what you do well.

Final Thoughts

Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to influence others positively, focus on the way you communicate and improve the relationship with yourself first.

It’s hard to influence others if you’re still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.

More Tips About Making Influence

Featured photo credit: Wonderlane via unsplash.com

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