Advertising
Advertising

5 Common Habits That Actually Ruin Your Relationship

5 Common Habits That Actually Ruin Your Relationship

Have you ever wondered why your romantic relationships never seem quite as joyful and intimate as you would like? Many of us tend to think that as long as we choose the right partner, everything else will fall into place. However, people in the best relationships know that it takes conscious effort to avoid falling into a rut. Take a look at this list of common relationship-wrecking habits and start taking a new approach to your partner today.

Bad Habit #1: Boring conversations and tired dialogue

Everyone likes to think that their partner cares about their day, so questions like “How was work?” tend to become a staple of most couples’ conversations. Unfortunately, this gets old fast. Instead of asking the same old questions, why not try a more original approach such as “What’s the funniest thing that happened to you today?” or “What have you been reading lately?”

Advertising

Bad Habit #2: Failing to express your needs

In an ideal world, our partners would be able to read our minds and grant our every wish without prompting. In reality, it is up to you to let your significant other know what you need from them, whether it’s reassurance about your appearance or a few more hugs every evening.[1] Just because you have to provide a bit of guidance doesn’t mean that the reward is any less valuable. Never expect your partner to be psychic, as they will only resent you when inevitably they fail to meet your needs and you become irritated as a result.

Advertising

Bad Habit #3: Failing to plan for serious discussions

Charging into a sensitive conversation without properly considering the points you wish to make is a recipe for disaster, tension, and prolonged conflict. Instead, try writing down your thoughts beforehand.[2] This will help you remain calm even in the face of difficult conversations and will improve the quality of communication between you and your partner. Journaling about your emotions or just writing them down as a list can help you remain focused on the problem at hand rather than taking your sadness, anger or jealousy out on the other person.

Advertising

Bad Habit #4: Trying hard to solve the conflicts before sleep

We’ve all heard the saying, “Don’t let the sun set on an argument.” Whilst this piece of advice is well-intentioned, the truth is that many arguments between couples often seem much more manageable after both people have had a good night’s sleep. When you find yourself snapping at your partner after a long day’s work or fighting over a relatively trivial issue in the evening, suggest that you both go to bed and resolve the matter in the morning.

Bad Habit #5: Speaking ill of your partner behind their back

It can be tempting to talk to your friends whenever your partner causes you stress. If you are in an abusive relationship or are concerned about your partner’s mental health, reaching out can be the most appropriate course of action. However, (if you aren’t in an abusive relationship) as a general rule, you should be talking about your relationship problems with your partner rather than other people[3]. This is because badmouthing your partner lessens the respect you have for them. You are unlikely to feel positive about your relationship if you spend a lot of time complaining about it.

These five bad habits can quickly undermine a relationship, but they are easy to overcome once you commit to increasing your self-awareness and examining how you behave towards your partner. Relationships are not always easy, but if you are prepared to put in some work on a regular basis you will reap numerous rewards including greater intimacy and mutual understanding.

Advertising

Reference

More by this author

Jay Hill

Jay writes about communication and happiness on Lifehack.

Focus On Yourself, Because Most Of The Time No One Really Cares 30 Ways To Treat Yourself No Matter What 3 Things To Give Up If You Want To Take Control Of Your Life All You Have to Do to Sleep Better How Social Media Is Making You Feel Bad about Yourself Every Day

Trending in Communication

1 You Can Change Your Life NOW: 5 Strategies to Start Living Your Best Life 2 How To Study Effectively: 7 Simple Tips 3 5 Powerful Self-Care Ideas for When Life Is Stressful 4 30 Refreshing Routines to Boost Your Morning Motivation 5 Feeling Like a Failure? 10 Simple Things to Help You Rise Again

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 28, 2020

How To Study Effectively: 7 Simple Tips

How To Study Effectively: 7 Simple Tips

The brain is a tangled web of information. We don’t remember single facts, but instead we interlink everything by association. Anytime we experience a new event, our brains tie the sights, smells, sounds and our own impressions together into a new relationship.

Our brain remembers things by repetition, association, visual imagery, and all five senses. By knowing a bit about how the brain works, we can become better learners, absorbing new information faster than ever.

Here are some study tips to help get you started:

1. Use Flashcards

Our brains create engrained memories through repetition. The more times we hear, see, or repeat something to ourselves, the more likely we are to remember it.

Flashcards can help you learn new subjects quickly and efficiently. Flashcards allow you to study anywhere at any time. Their portable nature lends them to quick study sessions on the bus, in traffic, at lunch, or in the doctor’s office. You can always whip out your flashcards for a quick 2 to 3 minute study session.

Advertising

To create effective flashcards, you need to put one point on each flashcard. Don’t load up the entire card with information. That’s just overload. Instead, you should dedicate one concept to each card.

One of the best ways to make flashcards is to put 1 question on the front and one answer on the back. This way, you can repeatedly quiz yourself into you have mastered any topic of your choice.

Commit to reading through your flash cards at least 3 times a day and you will be amazed at how quickly you pick up new information.

As Tony Robbins says,

“Repetition is the mother of skill”.

2. Create the Right Environment

Often times, where you study can be just as important as how you study. For an optimum learning environment, you’ll want to find a nice spot that is fairly peaceful. Some people can’t stand a deafening silence, but you certainly don’t want to study near constant distractions.

Find a spot that you can call your own, with plenty of room to spread out your stuff. Go there each time you study and you will find yourself adapting to a productive study schedule. When you study in the same place each time, you become more productive in that spot because you associate it with studying.

3. Use Acronyms to Remember Information

In your quest for knowledge, you may have once heard of an odd term called “mnemonics”. However, even if you haven’t heard of this word, you have certainly heard of its many applications. One of the most popular mnemonic examples is “Every Good Boy Does Fine”. This is an acronym used to help musicians and students to remember the notes on a treble clef stave.

An acronym is simply an abbreviation formed using the intial letters of a word. These types of memory aids can help you to learn large quantities of information in a short period of time.

4. Listen to Music

Research has long shown that certain types of music help you to recall information. Information learned while listening to a particular song can often be remembered simply by “playing” the songs mentally in your head.

Advertising

5. Rewrite Your Notes

This can be done by hand or on the computer. However, you should keep in mind that writing by hand can often stimulate more neural activity than when writing on the computer.

Everyone should study their notes at home but often times, simply re-reading them is too passive. Re-reading your notes can cause you to become disengaged and distracted.

To get the most out of your study time, make sure that it is active. Rewriting your notes turns a passive study time into an active and engaging learning tool. You can begin using this technique by buying two notebooks for each of your classes. Dedicate one of the notebooks for making notes during each class. Dedicate the other notebook to rewriting your notes outside of class.

6. Engage Your Emotions

Emotions play a very important part in your memory. Think about it. The last time you went to a party, which people did you remember? The lady who made you laugh, the man who hurt your feelings, and the kid who went screaming through the halls are the ones you will remember. They are the ones who had an emotional impact.

Fortunately, you can use the power of emotion in your own study sessions. Enhance your memory by using your five senses. Don’t just memorize facts. Don’t just see and hear the words in your mind. Create a vivid visual picture of what you are trying to learn.

Advertising

For example, if you are trying to learn the many parts of a human cell, begin physically rotating the cell in your minds eye. Imagine what each part might feel like. Begin to take the cell apart piece by piece and then reconstruct it. Paint the human cell with vivid colors. Enlarge the cell in your mind’s eye so that it is now six feet tall and putting on your own personal comedy show. This visual and emotional mind play will help deeply encode information into your memory.

7. Make Associations

One of the best ways to learn new things is to relate what you want to learn with something you already know. This is known as association, and it is the mental glue that drives your brain.

Have you ever listened to a song and been flooded by memories that were connected to it? Have you ever seen an old friend that triggered memories from childhood? This is the power of association.

To maximize our mental powers, we must constantly be looking for ways to relate new information with old ideas and concepts that we are already familiar with.

You can do this with the use of mindmapping. A mind map is used to diagram words, pictures, thoughts, and ideas into a an interconnected web of information. This simple practice will help you to connect everything you learn into a global network of knowledge that can be pulled from at any moment.

Advertising

Learn more about mindmapping here: How to Mind Map to Visualize Your Thoughts (With Mind Map Examples)

Featured photo credit: Alissa De Leva via unsplash.com

Read Next