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When I Stopped Being Afraid To Make Mistakes, I Started To Live A Better Life

When I Stopped Being Afraid To Make Mistakes, I Started To Live A Better Life

We’ve all been there. Stuck at a crossroads, trying to make a decision that will change the rest of our life.

Doubt creeps in, and you remember all the times you tried something out in the past and screwed it up. This time you might mess it up, too. You might make the wrong move. You might fail. And so, you punk out.

You don’t go up to that girl you’ve fancied for two years and ask her out. You don’t begin that new job search or look up apartments to rent in that exciting new city. You’re scared of making a mistake, and it can be debilitating.

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Fortunately, I have a few nifty ideas that helped me to make a change whilst I was going through this very experience. Thankfully, I am now more free to do what I want without worrying so much about the “what ifs”. Here’s how:

Remember, everyone makes mistakes

It’s true. We all mess up sometimes, and we all worry that we might feel that same rush of shame or embarrassment we felt last time. Once you push past this worry, however, you’ll feel a rush of relief in knowing that it was the fear holding you back that was the real problem. The mental blocks are actually just as bad as the time when you first made the mistake.

Being held back by insecurity can make you feel like there is a stranglehold on your autonomy. So, don’t let it rule you – take that first step.

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Make a decision

As Will Smith says, there is power in making a decision and running with it, even if you are not 100% sure. Deciding how you want your future to be will mean you cannot “fail” as much. That’s because you can always try something different if the first option didn’t work out. If you know “how it’s going to be, and who you are going to be,” then minor setbacks won’t bother you as much.

You will regret what you didn’t do more than what you did, even if some things you attempted didn’t go quite right

The unfortunate truth is that mistakes are inevitable. This fact sucks, but once you get over it, you realise that even mistakes can be useful to you. The same way that pain can make you wake up and realize what you appreciate most in life, mistakes wake you up and say “hey, stupid, it’s time to grow!”

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Just because you supposedly got something “wrong” doesn’t mean that you are a bad person or a failure. It means that you’re learning, you’re growing. And it means you will come back next time just as fierce, but with more knowledge and power behind you. Next time, you will be wiser, and you will have a greater grasp on life than ever before. But if you don’t do anything for fear of messing up, you never learn anything, other than that you wish you had!

If you plant a positive seed today, you will be set up for success tomorrow

Yes, mistakes are inevitable, but that doesn’t mean you have to set yourself up for disaster. It’s simple: if you’ve got something you’re worried about doing, then prepare – go over your presentation script a hundred times until you feel confident about it, or get up on stage so you feel more comfortable doing it.

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Whatever it is you need to do to prepare for a moment of opportunity, do it! That way, any mistakes you were worried about won’t even bother you – because you’ll know you’ve got this.

So, I hope this article helped you if you are now where I have been in my life: letting your fear of mistakes hold you back. You’d be amazed at how your life can change once you start changing your own rules. Don’t let this fear diminish how awesome you can be. Because when we’re not holding back on who we really are, we can find that we are more powerful than we ever imagined.

Featured photo credit: Vimeo via images.google.fr

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Daniel Owen van Dommelen

Coder, Director, Writer, Human

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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