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When I Stopped Being Afraid To Make Mistakes, I Started To Live A Better Life

When I Stopped Being Afraid To Make Mistakes, I Started To Live A Better Life

We’ve all been there. Stuck at a crossroads, trying to make a decision that will change the rest of our life.

Doubt creeps in, and you remember all the times you tried something out in the past and screwed it up. This time you might mess it up, too. You might make the wrong move. You might fail. And so, you punk out.

You don’t go up to that girl you’ve fancied for two years and ask her out. You don’t begin that new job search or look up apartments to rent in that exciting new city. You’re scared of making a mistake, and it can be debilitating.

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Fortunately, I have a few nifty ideas that helped me to make a change whilst I was going through this very experience. Thankfully, I am now more free to do what I want without worrying so much about the “what ifs”. Here’s how:

Remember, everyone makes mistakes

It’s true. We all mess up sometimes, and we all worry that we might feel that same rush of shame or embarrassment we felt last time. Once you push past this worry, however, you’ll feel a rush of relief in knowing that it was the fear holding you back that was the real problem. The mental blocks are actually just as bad as the time when you first made the mistake.

Being held back by insecurity can make you feel like there is a stranglehold on your autonomy. So, don’t let it rule you – take that first step.

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Make a decision

As Will Smith says, there is power in making a decision and running with it, even if you are not 100% sure. Deciding how you want your future to be will mean you cannot “fail” as much. That’s because you can always try something different if the first option didn’t work out. If you know “how it’s going to be, and who you are going to be,” then minor setbacks won’t bother you as much.

You will regret what you didn’t do more than what you did, even if some things you attempted didn’t go quite right

The unfortunate truth is that mistakes are inevitable. This fact sucks, but once you get over it, you realise that even mistakes can be useful to you. The same way that pain can make you wake up and realize what you appreciate most in life, mistakes wake you up and say “hey, stupid, it’s time to grow!”

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Just because you supposedly got something “wrong” doesn’t mean that you are a bad person or a failure. It means that you’re learning, you’re growing. And it means you will come back next time just as fierce, but with more knowledge and power behind you. Next time, you will be wiser, and you will have a greater grasp on life than ever before. But if you don’t do anything for fear of messing up, you never learn anything, other than that you wish you had!

If you plant a positive seed today, you will be set up for success tomorrow

Yes, mistakes are inevitable, but that doesn’t mean you have to set yourself up for disaster. It’s simple: if you’ve got something you’re worried about doing, then prepare – go over your presentation script a hundred times until you feel confident about it, or get up on stage so you feel more comfortable doing it.

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Whatever it is you need to do to prepare for a moment of opportunity, do it! That way, any mistakes you were worried about won’t even bother you – because you’ll know you’ve got this.

So, I hope this article helped you if you are now where I have been in my life: letting your fear of mistakes hold you back. You’d be amazed at how your life can change once you start changing your own rules. Don’t let this fear diminish how awesome you can be. Because when we’re not holding back on who we really are, we can find that we are more powerful than we ever imagined.

Featured photo credit: Vimeo via images.google.fr

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Daniel Owen van Dommelen

Coder, Director, Writer, Human

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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