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Your Life Begins Again Only When You Learn To Truly Let Go

Your Life Begins Again Only When You Learn To Truly Let Go

Every single one of us has been through that one moment in our life. That defining moment that changes who we are, when you think life couldn’t possibly go on. For many people, life seems to stop after losing a loved one. Maybe it’s a bad breakup or a difficult divorce. But for you, the clock stopped and you don’t think you’ll ever get over this tragedy.

And it’s true, your life did stop and you did suffer a tragedy. But no matter how helpless and alone you feel right now, life will begin again and it will get better – as soon as you learn to let go.

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“Everyone’s allowed to be in love with the wrong person at some point. In fact, it’s a mistake not to be.” – Harriet Evans

You thought you met the love of your life. The two of you spent your free time snuggled up in bed, dreaming about the future, about getting married, and making a home. Then one day, all of the small problems, once simple annoyances, become too much to bare. The two of you agree on a breakup and you’re left with all the pain of putting the broken pieces back together.

But, breaking up is about so much more than moving on and healing. It’s the opportunity to learn about yourself and to understand the root of your relationship’s problems, so you learn to practice self-love. It’s just like physical injury. The injury, the pain – it always has a root cause. Figure out the root cause so you can prevent it from happening in the future. [1] Love yourself, recognize your needs.

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“We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell

Let’s be very clear about something – divorce does not mean that you give up on your marriage or on your family. Nobody enters marriage thinking of the end. People get married as the ultimate confirmation of love, it’s the promise to build a life together and to grow together.

But sometimes, life doesn’t work out the way we planned. As Crystal Jackson so eloquently put it, “At a certain point, we realize that the sink is shipping… So, yes, we get off the damn ship and start looking for a lifeboat – a whole new life.” [2] That’s not failure, that’s accepting the truth and choosing a better life. You can’t make a relationship work by yourself. Recognizing that and choosing yourself, that’s self-love and survival.

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“Happiness cannot thrive within the prison of obligation.” – Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Take a minute to assess your current relationship. Why are you in it? Be honest with yourself. Is it out of happiness, love, and want? Or is it out of need or obligation? Because if you have any sense of obligation, that’s likely to turn into resentment in the future. Why? When you feel obligated to stay, you are effectively limiting your power of choice. [3] Do yourself a favor, practice self-love. It’s time to move on and start your life anew.

“Never love anybody that treats you like you’re ordinary.” – Oscar Wilde

Don’t accept the idea that what you have now is good enough, that it can never be better. Especially not if the relationship is full of lies and distrust. You stay because you’ve grown comfortable with good enough, with the ordinary. You’re settling for less and you deserve more.

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Settling for good enough might mean that you think you don’t deserve happiness. [4] It’s time to take on some difficult decision making, build up some motivation, and work toward self-love through self-improvement. You are worth a happy life and that will only begin when you let go of the past.

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” – Marilyn Monroe

Making big mistakes, losing your optimism, and hitting rock bottom – these are the things that will lead you to happiness. Tragic moments allow us to reflect on our wants and needs, paving the way to change. The mistakes we make in love lead us to the right person in the future – the true love of our life. [5]

Let go of the negativity, focus on self-love and positivity.

Reference

More by this author

Amber Pariona

EFL Teacher, Lifehack Writer, English/Spanish Translator, MPA

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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