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3 Negative Personality Traits That Might Actually Benefit You

3 Negative Personality Traits That Might Actually Benefit You

Have you ever been criticized for being easily distracted? Disorganized, maybe? Do people frequently tell you that your pessimism won’t take you anywhere?

Everyone has their own set of negative personality traits. While others go the extra mile for constant self-improvement, some do not even realize that what they’re like is not as ideal as they’d like to believe. Then there are the few who do notice their negative traits, but opt to see past them – gotta love yourself for who you are, flaws and all, right?

Here’s a pick-upper: it all boils down to perspective.

Some negative personality traits can actually be beneficial. Yes, you read that right. Below are a few of the most common negative personality traits that are said to do you more good than harm in the long run and how to use them to your advantage.

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Easily distracted 

Gone are the days when people tell you to avoid distractions when working on something big. Focus is a very vital part of success, but the role that distractions play is also quite significant.

In a feature written by Sam Anderson, for New York Magazine, he noted the symbiotic relationship between focus and distraction:

“[Focus] has distraction built into it. The two… [are] the systole and diastole of consciousness. Attention comes from the Latin to ‘stretch out’ or ‘reach toward’, distraction from ‘to pull apart’. We need both.”

When we are less focused, we are faced with a broader range of information; thus, we are more likely to consider things out of the box. Cindy May, from Scientific American, explained that the “wider scope gives us access to more alternatives and diverse interpretations, thus fostering innovation and insight.”

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Being “lazy”

So you prefer the easier way of doing things, does this really make you “lazy” if you’re getting the same ideal results?

Some would describe this as “intelligent” instead.

People with a preference of the easier process tend to innovate and develop smarter strategies towards attaining their objectives. Why exert more effort when you’ll be just as productive through an easier process?

This, however, remains situational. Not all of the best solutions have easier alternatives. Intelligence is reflected not only on how innovative one gets, but also based on how effective their tactics are.

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Negative mindset

Now you have a valid reason to roll your eyes whenever that old lady tells you that rainbow-colored optimism is the key to success. Contrary to popular belief, and ironically enough, having a negative mindset can actually reap positive results.

The American Psychological Association conducted an experiment on defensive pessimism and strategic optimism, and which mindset is likely to be more effective. The initial assumption was that strategic optimists would take the cake, but results showed that both were actually able to deliver quality outputs. Defensive pessimist respondents were said to have utilized their harnessed anxiety as motivation.

Psychologist Julie Norem wrote:

“At first, I asked how these people were able to do so well despite their pessimism. Before long, I began to realize that they were doing so well because of their pessimism… negative thinking transformed anxiety into action.”

Now what? Here are two things you need to consider:

Acknowledge these traits both as positive and negative.

Sure, you now know that these personality traits can be positive, but keep in mind that it’s solely situational. There were reasons why they have been dubbed as negative for the longest time, and this is because they’re not the most effective route to productivity and success. See them as two-sided concepts, their pros are always accompanied with the cons.

Learn to keep the balance.

If you’re set to maintain these traits as your own, find the equilibrium. Recognize that there are limitations to the positive side of the aforementioned traits. There are instances when being lazy would do you good, but in a general sense, hard work still has a greater pay-off.

Featured photo credit: StokPic.com via stokpic.com

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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