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7 Secrets Of Success From Tony Robbins That Will Lead To A More Successful Life

7 Secrets Of Success From Tony Robbins That Will Lead To A More Successful Life

Tony Robbins – he is the man. You know who he is, I know who he is. As a businessman, author, philanthropist, and motivational speaker, Tony Robbins has been helping people change their lives and improve for the better for the past 30 years. Best known for his self-help books, Unlimited Power and Unleash the Power within, Robbins has made millions of dollars, and helped business owners and regular people make money.

Here are 7 secrets to a successful life that can be learned from Tony Robbins and his career:

1. Mindfulness

To practice mindfulness, Tony has been channeling his energy by using practices that have been around for more than millennia and used by cultures around the world, and for good reason. They lower blood pressure, reduce anxiety, and improve overall health. It’s no wonder Tony uses priming exercises every morning!

One such practice is called Enlightenment, which began in India more than 2,500 years ago.

2. Raise Standards

Change comes from inside. It doesn’t matter what you do in life, you are not going to improve yourself unless you change and change begins within. Who gives a damn about achieving goals if you aren’t fulfilled when you do?

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Fulfill yourself by setting your standards way above what you think you can do.

3. Reset Mind & Mood

Tony has made the distinction between peak performance and poor performance clear and believes the difference is the state your body and mind is in.

If your body and mind aren’t synced, your performance will suffer, and you won’t go anywhere. Think about times you’re sad, depressed, or feel like giving up – how productive are you? Do you feel like moving, or doing anything? I certainly don’t.

It’s important to recognize when you’re in a sour mood and evaluate your body’s posture. Are you slouched over? Stand up straight. Sporting a frown? Why not try faking a smile? How we feel reflects how we stand – it’s that link between our brain and our body. That’s why confident, happy people (such as Tony Robbins) are always upright.

4. Let Go

There’s no way you can completely let go of a past that’s scarred you. When someone’s wronged us, we tend to hold onto that for years and years and years. Time passes and that grudge has seeded so deep in our subconscious that they affect us without our realizing it.

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We’re keeping all of the negative energy balled up in us, right? So, let it go. The past can’t be changed and what happened to you is not the you that you are today. It doesn’t affect your outcome today. So, let go.

It’s time to face reality: the past can’t be changed. Sure, you can look at the bad things that have happened you differently, but at the end of the day, they still can’t be changed. Center your time and focus on what you’re doing now to make a more efficient you for tomorrow.

Realize your sense of worth by evaluating what is important to you. What do you enjoy doing?

5. Look Confident

You know the conventional wisdom, “Don’t judge a book by its cover?” As good as it is, it’s pure bologna. People form impressions and opinions of you the moment they see you. They make judgments about the way you move, the way you walk, talk, and breathe.

How are your shoulders? If they’re slouched or crouched, fix them. Align your spine upright.

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Do you tend to fidget a lot? Play with your hands, clothes, hair, or constantly shift? These movements give you the air that you’re uncomfortable, which is bad news in the eyes of people who seek to judge you.

How’s your eye contact? Holding eye contact in conversations is a tremendously successful way of showing two things: 1) You’re actively listening to what’s being said, and 2) You’re not afraid. Most people look down, off to the side, or anywhere except who they’re talking to.

Standing like Superman for two minutes changes you psychologically, too. When you feel more capable handling situations, you start believing in yourself – and your thoughts change. Why? Body language.

Body language is a subtle communication between people. That’s why some of the most successful executives seem larger than life – their confidence is astronomical because of their body language. This gives their communication so much meaning.

People will sense this, on a subconscious level, and respect you more because you’re giving them non-verbal cues that you know exactly what you’re worth, as well as what you’re doing.

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6. Handle Stress

Believe it or not, how most people handle emotions can be summed up in four basic ways:

  1. We avoid them. We mentally, spiritually, and emotionally shut ourselves off to what’s happening and refuse to admit what’s going on. Some people often do this to not feel anything at all. Happiness, sadness, stress – they run from it. This keeps people from experiencing honest love when it’s right in front of them and keeps them in a shell, cutting off the very things life is made of.
  2. We deny them. No! No! No! We don’t believe we’re experiencing those negative emotions, like a loved one’s passing. This restraint often multiplies in intensity, and the stronger you bottle those emotions up, what happens? That’s right, you explode and lose control of yourself.
  3. We compete with the misery of other people. How many times, when someone’s shared an experience with you, you tried to one-up them? Say your friend lost their puppy. “Oh yeah?” We say, “That’s tragic. Reminds me of the time I lost my baby.” Or what about the time someone in your life had something incredible to them? A lot of people, from whom I’ve talked to, couldn’t let it happen. So, they shared their own experiences of happiness, instead of letting their friend enjoy the bonus. This competition helps nobody. It’s fruitless and isn’t the path to spiritual, or emotional growth.
  4. They learn from pain, and they learn from stress to better themselves – to challenge themselves and find those incremental shifts in perception, to handle situations later down the road. This is the truth: problems, sorrows, and obstacles are hidden “secrets” the universe puts before us to get farther in life.

7. Control Emotions

Controlling our emotions is no easy feat and it’s a struggle a lot of us deal with everyday. The amount of people in the world who don’t realize their potential and aren’t fulfilled because they don’t believe in themselves, and are divorced or their spouse leaves and their job performance is suffering – it’s enough to make anybody crack. And the more I realize this, the more I see this with my own eyes, the harder it is for me to see. I break down.

That’s why a super-fast way to take control of my emotions (and you can too) is by:

  • Identifying what I’m feeling.
  • Acknowledging these emotions, and thanking God I’m still alive to feel.
  • Figuring out what’s going on: I’m experiencing this for a reason, right? What is this reason.
  • Remembering how you’ve gotten over it before.
  • Knowing we can handle this emotion in the future, again, by dealing with it today.

Conclusion

If none of this works for you (are you honestly applying yourself?), head over to Netflix and watch Tony’s “I Am Not Your Guru” documentary. The film is an extraordinary, first-hand glimpse into the magic of Tony’s powerful seminars and will have you finding success on your own terms.

Featured photo credit: via pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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