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Clever People Live A Microlife While Busy People Live A Linear Life. Which One Are You Living?

Clever People Live A Microlife While Busy People Live A Linear Life. Which One Are You Living?

Happiness is what we all strive for in life. We are told, and often dictated by society, which way is best when it comes to how we should lead our lives in order to get the best outcome. Of course, we are all different and diverse in our ways of thinking and have opinions on how we should live our own lives but how willing are we to see things from another perspective?

Living a linear way is the most common approach we adopt to deal with life. This, for example, could mean studying hard while we’re young, working hard in our jobs and make sure we are married by a certain age. While all these benefit us in certain ways, it can sometimes lead us to unhappiness especially if we struggle to study, work hard in a job we don’t enjoy or reach that certain age and still haven’t met the right person.

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A linear life has a tendency to dictate how ‘successful’ you are. It gives people guidelines that can’t always be met and don’t take into account that life is unpredictable and unexpected.

Why A Linear Life Isn’t Always The Best

Not only does leading a linear life put pressure on us to achieve goals by a certain time, it creates a mindset where we blind to other opportunities that are there for the taking. We tend to focus on the one path we set out for ourselves and we rarely venture away from the ‘norm’.

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When we’re young, we usually rebel against walking in a linear path and we live more in the moment. We have more of a tendency to explore and embrace the journey more in order to find out about ourselves either consciously or subconsciously. But once we’re older, this often gets forgotten and we can easily slip into the rigid, expectancy of adult life.

The Regret of Living a Linear Life

Living a carved-out linear path can often cause regrets later on. We believe happiness will come once we’ve worked hard and created a nice pot of money and only then relax and enjoy life. We believe we’ll be happy when we’ve met our soulmate and checked off another goal on our list because that’s what’s expected of us.

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It’s a big cliché when people say it’s all about the journey but that’s exactly what creates a full life; not having our heads down, sacrificing the now in order to fulfill the end cause. By doing this we can miss huge opportunities to grow and develop ourselves and give us the chance to obtain sufficient self-understanding.

Don’t get me wrong, living a linear life can suit some people and can provide a certain structure that someone can adhere to but if this is you and you’re not entirely happy with your life, it might be time to gain a different perspective and consider the benefits of living more in the present moment.

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The Benefits of Living a Microlife

Living a microlife is all about living every day as though it’s your last day – that doesn’t mean quitting your job and going on a permanent holiday – it means finding the right balance in every aspect of your life. For example, don’t make your job your whole life, don’t make having money the be all and end all of your happiness, don’t be afraid to follow a different career path, or don’t settle for that okay relationship just because you feel it’s about time you settled down already.

The advantage of this more open way of living is that we are living in the moment and adopting a mindset where you expect life to change and embrace different paths that life has to offer you – that’s it’s okay to go off the beaten track. By contrast, a well-planned linear life can’t prepare you for the uncertainties that life throws at you nor can it prepare you for disruptions that inevitably come up.

So try and ignore the fear, change your mindset and perspective on how to live your life. Embrace each moment and create a balance in all areas of your life and most of all expect and embrace change – trust that the change or the different way of life is there to help you grow and live the ultimate happy life you deserve!

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Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

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