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Clever People Live A Microlife While Busy People Live A Linear Life. Which One Are You Living?

Clever People Live A Microlife While Busy People Live A Linear Life. Which One Are You Living?

Happiness is what we all strive for in life. We are told, and often dictated by society, which way is best when it comes to how we should lead our lives in order to get the best outcome. Of course, we are all different and diverse in our ways of thinking and have opinions on how we should live our own lives but how willing are we to see things from another perspective?

Living a linear way is the most common approach we adopt to deal with life. This, for example, could mean studying hard while we’re young, working hard in our jobs and make sure we are married by a certain age. While all these benefit us in certain ways, it can sometimes lead us to unhappiness especially if we struggle to study, work hard in a job we don’t enjoy or reach that certain age and still haven’t met the right person.

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A linear life has a tendency to dictate how ‘successful’ you are. It gives people guidelines that can’t always be met and don’t take into account that life is unpredictable and unexpected.

Why A Linear Life Isn’t Always The Best

Not only does leading a linear life put pressure on us to achieve goals by a certain time, it creates a mindset where we blind to other opportunities that are there for the taking. We tend to focus on the one path we set out for ourselves and we rarely venture away from the ‘norm’.

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When we’re young, we usually rebel against walking in a linear path and we live more in the moment. We have more of a tendency to explore and embrace the journey more in order to find out about ourselves either consciously or subconsciously. But once we’re older, this often gets forgotten and we can easily slip into the rigid, expectancy of adult life.

The Regret of Living a Linear Life

Living a carved-out linear path can often cause regrets later on. We believe happiness will come once we’ve worked hard and created a nice pot of money and only then relax and enjoy life. We believe we’ll be happy when we’ve met our soulmate and checked off another goal on our list because that’s what’s expected of us.

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It’s a big cliché when people say it’s all about the journey but that’s exactly what creates a full life; not having our heads down, sacrificing the now in order to fulfill the end cause. By doing this we can miss huge opportunities to grow and develop ourselves and give us the chance to obtain sufficient self-understanding.

Don’t get me wrong, living a linear life can suit some people and can provide a certain structure that someone can adhere to but if this is you and you’re not entirely happy with your life, it might be time to gain a different perspective and consider the benefits of living more in the present moment.

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The Benefits of Living a Microlife

Living a microlife is all about living every day as though it’s your last day – that doesn’t mean quitting your job and going on a permanent holiday – it means finding the right balance in every aspect of your life. For example, don’t make your job your whole life, don’t make having money the be all and end all of your happiness, don’t be afraid to follow a different career path, or don’t settle for that okay relationship just because you feel it’s about time you settled down already.

The advantage of this more open way of living is that we are living in the moment and adopting a mindset where you expect life to change and embrace different paths that life has to offer you – that’s it’s okay to go off the beaten track. By contrast, a well-planned linear life can’t prepare you for the uncertainties that life throws at you nor can it prepare you for disruptions that inevitably come up.

So try and ignore the fear, change your mindset and perspective on how to live your life. Embrace each moment and create a balance in all areas of your life and most of all expect and embrace change – trust that the change or the different way of life is there to help you grow and live the ultimate happy life you deserve!

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Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

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Last Updated on April 14, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

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