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How To Get Un-stuck From Feeling Stuck In Your Twenties

How To Get Un-stuck From Feeling Stuck In Your Twenties

One thing that transcends time, space and geographical location, is the feeling of being stuck in your life. Many of us are in the midst of what some call the “quarter-life crisis” a crossroad between childhood, naivete and adult responsibilities.

While I do not consider this tumultuous period in your twenties as a crisis, it is a big enough issue to warrant consideration. Below are the ways to get un-stuck for twenty-somethings feeling stuck in their life.

Be Conscious of Your Internal Worth

Believing that your worth is hinged on the validation of other people.

Recognition, Awards, While they are some form of tangible evidence for work you may have done, they are still not an accurate representation of you worth, value, talent or success. Whether or not someone else tells you that you are doing a good job, it matters that the voice of recognition that you hold most dear is your own. You alone can know the hard work and dedication that you put into your life, so waiting for others to recognize should be barely a drop in the bucket.

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Refusing to be mindful of your finances, regardless of how small your bank account balance may be.

Now, I’m not saying become an extreme budgeter, a la Extreme Couponing or deny yourself the simplest of pleasures, however, your wallet might really appreciate if you were more careful about random shopping trips and frequent restaurant outings.

Money is definitely not all, but it is an unfortunate necessity to survive at the most minimal basis. We do not need to be a slave to it, but by seeking out simple financial strategies, you will be creating a much less tumultuous space for yourself.

Nothing To Fear But Fear Itself

Making decisions based on fear or desperation.

Decisions made from periods of emotional uncertainty tend to result in life dissatisfaction later on. When we are faced with an empty bank account, the offer to pet-sit five cats despite your serious allergies might actually start looking good. When decisions are made because we are fearful of the outcome of our current circumstances, or desperate to attain something that we believe others are expecting us to, then we are not truly connecting with ourselves at the core.

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Decisions, regardless of circumstances, are better made from a place of thoughtful consideration. Your conscience and your sense of self will be all the better for it.

Staying focused on instant gratification, rather than long-term sustained happiness.

We live in a fast-paced world where trends and the collection of things that are new and must-haves are intertwined with how we view our position in the world. You can get, view and share things with the simple click of a button, our needs are satisfied before we can even complete the thought.

Instant gratification has become a way of life, but what we will soon come to understand is that focusing on the things that we can possess right now, or the places that our life can take us right now, is cutting us off from our potential for long-held satisfaction with life.

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As cliche as it may sound, nothing worth having comes easily. While that gig may give you a quick few bucks to blow on your next big dinner plans, holding out for that stable client who you can build a long-term relationship with can have you moving out of your dingy apartment in due time.

Being unsure how to rid yourself of toxicity in your life (people/places/situations)

Toxicity can pull at the fibers of your life force and have you constantly wondering why you are so drained. You may not notice it at first, but I encourage you to take the time to do a bit of self-reflection when you find yourself feeling a bit ‘off’ after an encounter with a particular person, or taking part in a certain activity.

Become more self-aware about your reactions to the world around you, and you will find yourself picking out shards of glass that you never knew were there before.

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The Myth Of Perfection

Placing more importance on perfection, rather than progression.

This is a concept that has personally left me feeling stuck for quite some time. For so long, I was so concerned with perfecting a story or polishing a project to its maximum potential, before even considering letting other people know about it, that I ended up stalled.

I was stalled by this myth that is perfection. My movements towards just getting something done, one small step at a time, was constantly overshadowed by the doubts that it needs to be perfect, and if I can’t make sure that it’s perfect, then there’s no sense doing it. A lesson well learned, is that progression, even with baby steps, trumps the crippling effects of perfectionism.

Waiting for the magical period of time where you are richer, fitter, and more popular to do what you have always wanted to do.

Do it now. Start where you are. You do not need to be privileged to take steps everyday towards doing the things that you have always wanted to do. Regardless of how fit, rich, or popular you are, you have the opportunity each day to make one move.

There will never be a perfect time to start. If the issue here is perfectionism (as we touched on, in the previous item), then look at it this way: to do and make mistakes means that you are learning and growing.

Featured photo credit: D.L. Samuels via shotbydlsamuels.com

More by this author

Shanice J. Douglas, MSc.

Writer | StoryTeller | Founder, WittedRoots.com

How to Stop Your Mind from Going Blank in Any Stressful Situation How To Get Un-stuck From Feeling Stuck In Your Twenties

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Last Updated on March 25, 2020

How to Crush Your Lack of Motivation and Always Stay Motivated

How to Crush Your Lack of Motivation and Always Stay Motivated

How many times have you not achieved your goals and let yourself down due to your lack of motivation? When you’re not wallowing in sadness and self-pity, you are too busy procrastinating till you can’t anymore and before you know it, you are part of vicious cycle of anxiety and stress.

Whether it’s losing weight or bringing your business to fruition – motivation is essential for growth and success in every sphere of our lives.

That said, it is not easy staying motivated. In order to constantly stay motivated, you need to take ownership of your life and consciously make efforts in that direction.

Well, it’s never too late to take matters in your hands and change the course of your life. Here are 11 effective ways to crush your lack of motivation and always stay motivated:

1. Write Your Goals

The power of writing goals down has always been underestimated. Why write when you can remember, right? Wrong.

Our thoughts are all over the place and the first step to achieve your goals is to organize your thoughts. So, write your goals down, however big or small they might be. Make them as specific as possible and assign deadlines to each of them.

As you write them down and revisit them regularly, they get further drilled in your head, taking you closer to your goals. Doing this small exercise helps you to remain focused, motivated and lets you track your progress with ease.

Start today – take to your laptop or a diary and get down to writing what you wish to achieve in life.

2. Beat Procrastination

Your lack of motivation and procrastination go hand in hand. Every time you procrastinate, your motivation levels take a greater hit. The only way to bring an end to this loop is to stop procrastinating.

Next time you find yourself putting off something for ‘later’, stop and assess the reasons behind it. Get to the root of the cause and eliminate it in order to overcome this poor habit of procrastinating which is sabotaging your life and mental health.

Take a look at this guide and learn how to beat procrastination:

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What Is Procrastination (And the Complete Guide to Stop Procrastinating)

When you finally overcome procrastination, you will realize the positive impact it has on your mood and motivation levels.

3. Celebrate Small Wins

In the quest to achieve the bigger goals in life, we often forget to celebrate the smaller wins along the way. An achievement is an achievement – be it big or small, it deserves to be acknowledged and celebrated.

Finished a project on time? Reward yourself. Managed to run on the treadmill for a good one hour? Pat yourself on the back. Found time to meditate? Celebrate it.

It is these small achievements that reinstate that we are on the right path and take us one step closer to the bigger goals.

So, get into the habit of recognizing and appreciating small wins. You will be surprised to see how this practice helps you stay motivated.

4. Practice Gratitude

It’s easier to whine about what we don’t have rather than counting our blessings. Isn’t it?

Making gratefulness a part of your life is a very important step to retain high motivational levels. It revitalizes our spirits and renews our enthusiasm for life.

So, how do you practice gratitude? For starters, keep a gratitude journal to jot down what you are grateful for, express your gratitude to people you love and spread positivity wherever you go. If you need some inspiration to be thankful for, here it is:

60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life

By doing so, you begin to focus more on what you have rather than what you don’t and that is a great start to stay motivated.

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5. Be Optimistic

Life is not always hunky dory. There will be bad days when things aren’t going in your favor, when you feel lost and all you want to do is give up.

At such times, instead of letting negativity take over your life, adopt an optimistic approach to life. Quit overthinking, ask the right questions and focus on finding solutions.

Yes, there will be hurdles along the way but if you hang on to positive affirmations and hopes, the journey will be a lot smoother. So, with every passing day, sow the seeds of positivity and you are sure to build a positive environment around you.

6. Don’t Dwell on the Past

A lot of times, our lack of motivation stems from the habit of dwelling on the past. This gives rise to fear and regrets, preventing us from making progress in the present day.

Dwelling on the past is nothing but a waste of time. Understand that the past is long gone, and you cannot do anything to change that.

What you can do is make your present day worthwhile. Instead of looking back and having regrets, learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself and move on.

So, the next time you find your mind wandering off to the past, be determined to change the way you think and consciously concentrate on living in the present. This guide can help you:

10 Simple Steps To Let Go Of The Past

7. Face your Fears

You can never find motivation where there is fear. Identify the fear that is pulling you back and tackle it.

If you don’t face your fear head on, you cannot expect to conquer it and renew your motivation.

Ask yourself: What is stopping you? What are you scared of?

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Once you accept your fear, you can work on an action plan and think of solutions to overcome it. This article will give you some effective tips on conquering your fears:

How to Overcome Your Irrational Fears (That Stop You from Succeeding)

Seek external help if required but don’t choose to turn a blind eye over your fears – it will only aggravate matters.

8. Visualize your Success

You must have heard the famous quote, ‘see it to believe it’. That is exactly what visualization is about.

One of the most effective self-motivation techniques, visualizing the process to your desired outcome helps you move in a positive direction and achieve your goal.

Close your eyes and focus all your energies on the minutest of details that will take you where you want to reach. Doing this exercise everyday inspires you to keep going and not lose hope. The vision of attaining success will drive you to do better while instilling belief and confidence.

9. Find Inspiration

Can’t seem to find inspiration inwards? Don’t panic. There are plenty of external sources to gain inspiration from.

From motivational books and quotes to speeches, films and apps – it is a good idea to take help from motivational material to rekindle your spirits and regain your motivation.

Everyone is wired differently. For instance, a self-help book might work for your friend, but it might do nothing to move you. So, find what inspires you and turn to it when you are in desperate need for motivation.

Finding inspiration externally fills you with hope and sometimes that is all you need.

10. Enjoy Downtime

You are clearly exhausted with all the running you’re doing in life. So much, that you don’t even have time to stop and think what’s causing you so much unhappiness. All you know is that you are lacking motivation and everyday seems to have become a struggle.

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Now, that’s certainly not how you should live the rest of your life.

You need to schedule downtime for yourself, relax and give your mind and body some rest. Take a vacation, indulge in hobbies, meet some friends, put your hair down and stop with all the overthinking. It is important to do things that make you happy in order to think clearly and stay motivated.

11. Meditate Regularly

Meditation lets you take control of your mind. It improves focus and concentration while helping you relax.

Whenever you have had a tough day or find your thoughts going places, the best way to calm yourself down is by closing your eyes and meditating. It helps you to remove all the unnecessary frills in life and keeps you on the right track.

Include meditation in your daily schedule and you are sure to see an improvement in your productivity and motivation.

The Bottom Line

Practicing these simple exercises isn’t the tough part, what’s tough is religiously doing them every day.

However, don’t expect to get rid of your lack of motivation overnight. There will still be days when you will be low on energy but by making these conscious efforts to stay motivated, you are sure to see a vast change in your perspective and your response to bad days.

So, start today and be committed to making a positive change in your life.

More Tips About Staying Motivated

Featured photo credit: Sonnie Hiles via unsplash.com

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