Advertising
Advertising

How To Get Un-stuck From Feeling Stuck In Your Twenties

How To Get Un-stuck From Feeling Stuck In Your Twenties

One thing that transcends time, space and geographical location, is the feeling of being stuck in your life. Many of us are in the midst of what some call the “quarter-life crisis” a crossroad between childhood, naivete and adult responsibilities.

While I do not consider this tumultuous period in your twenties as a crisis, it is a big enough issue to warrant consideration. Below are the ways to get un-stuck for twenty-somethings feeling stuck in their life.

Be Conscious of Your Internal Worth

Believing that your worth is hinged on the validation of other people.

Recognition, Awards, While they are some form of tangible evidence for work you may have done, they are still not an accurate representation of you worth, value, talent or success. Whether or not someone else tells you that you are doing a good job, it matters that the voice of recognition that you hold most dear is your own. You alone can know the hard work and dedication that you put into your life, so waiting for others to recognize should be barely a drop in the bucket.

Advertising

Refusing to be mindful of your finances, regardless of how small your bank account balance may be.

Now, I’m not saying become an extreme budgeter, a la Extreme Couponing or deny yourself the simplest of pleasures, however, your wallet might really appreciate if you were more careful about random shopping trips and frequent restaurant outings.

Money is definitely not all, but it is an unfortunate necessity to survive at the most minimal basis. We do not need to be a slave to it, but by seeking out simple financial strategies, you will be creating a much less tumultuous space for yourself.

Nothing To Fear But Fear Itself

Making decisions based on fear or desperation.

Decisions made from periods of emotional uncertainty tend to result in life dissatisfaction later on. When we are faced with an empty bank account, the offer to pet-sit five cats despite your serious allergies might actually start looking good. When decisions are made because we are fearful of the outcome of our current circumstances, or desperate to attain something that we believe others are expecting us to, then we are not truly connecting with ourselves at the core.

Advertising

Decisions, regardless of circumstances, are better made from a place of thoughtful consideration. Your conscience and your sense of self will be all the better for it.

Staying focused on instant gratification, rather than long-term sustained happiness.

We live in a fast-paced world where trends and the collection of things that are new and must-haves are intertwined with how we view our position in the world. You can get, view and share things with the simple click of a button, our needs are satisfied before we can even complete the thought.

Instant gratification has become a way of life, but what we will soon come to understand is that focusing on the things that we can possess right now, or the places that our life can take us right now, is cutting us off from our potential for long-held satisfaction with life.

Advertising

As cliche as it may sound, nothing worth having comes easily. While that gig may give you a quick few bucks to blow on your next big dinner plans, holding out for that stable client who you can build a long-term relationship with can have you moving out of your dingy apartment in due time.

Being unsure how to rid yourself of toxicity in your life (people/places/situations)

Toxicity can pull at the fibers of your life force and have you constantly wondering why you are so drained. You may not notice it at first, but I encourage you to take the time to do a bit of self-reflection when you find yourself feeling a bit ‘off’ after an encounter with a particular person, or taking part in a certain activity.

Become more self-aware about your reactions to the world around you, and you will find yourself picking out shards of glass that you never knew were there before.

Advertising

The Myth Of Perfection

Placing more importance on perfection, rather than progression.

This is a concept that has personally left me feeling stuck for quite some time. For so long, I was so concerned with perfecting a story or polishing a project to its maximum potential, before even considering letting other people know about it, that I ended up stalled.

I was stalled by this myth that is perfection. My movements towards just getting something done, one small step at a time, was constantly overshadowed by the doubts that it needs to be perfect, and if I can’t make sure that it’s perfect, then there’s no sense doing it. A lesson well learned, is that progression, even with baby steps, trumps the crippling effects of perfectionism.

Waiting for the magical period of time where you are richer, fitter, and more popular to do what you have always wanted to do.

Do it now. Start where you are. You do not need to be privileged to take steps everyday towards doing the things that you have always wanted to do. Regardless of how fit, rich, or popular you are, you have the opportunity each day to make one move.

There will never be a perfect time to start. If the issue here is perfectionism (as we touched on, in the previous item), then look at it this way: to do and make mistakes means that you are learning and growing.

Featured photo credit: D.L. Samuels via shotbydlsamuels.com

More by this author

Shanice J. Douglas, MSc.

Writer | StoryTeller | Founder, WittedRoots.com

How to Stop Your Mind from Going Blank in Any Stressful Situation How To Get Un-stuck From Feeling Stuck In Your Twenties

Trending in 20-Something

1 One Solid Practice for Tackling Low Self-Esteem 2 7 Tools to Optimize Your Next Long-Term Traveling Experience 3 How To Go Through College And Stay Sane 4 The Battle Of The Voices In My Head 5 How to Have the Best Spring With Your Pets

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

Advertising

1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

Advertising

“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

Advertising

3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

Advertising

6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

More on Motivation

Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

Read Next