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9 Things You Need to Know Before Dating A Lawyer

9 Things You Need to Know Before Dating A Lawyer

When someone tells you dating a lawyer is just like dating anyone else, they are lying! This might be too straightforward for you, but after dating a lawyer for a year and a half, I know that lies have no room between you and your legal expert. Because they are so used to people who tell hundreds of lies, lawyers are able to sniff a lie from a mile, so there is no point in trying to hide something from them. On the other hand, you will notice how objective and sincere a lawyer is in a relationship.

Lawyers are stubborn and they are used to finding arguments in everything – and this is just the start of it all. Here are the main things you need to know before diving into a relationship with a lawyer.

1. Lawyers think differently.

This is the starting point: lawyers and law students think completely different from the rest of us. They are trained to think differently from the first day they decide to become a successful lawyer, so you will have to get used to this. Lawyers can be highly objective in the most subjective situations, which is a double-edged sword. In critical situations, this is an advantage, which enables your date to act quickly and correctly.

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But in love… it’s another thing. Because they are used to being objective, lawyers might be cold and lack affection sometimes, but this doesn’t mean your date doesn’t like you. It’s just he/she is very objective about it.

2. Legal field is filled with parties.

Dating a lawyer? You must have a killer party wardrobe because lawyers attend a lot of events and most of these are high class. Prepare to meet people from Congress, politicians, celebrities, and many more public personalities at these parties. Despite what most people think, lawyer gatherings are never boring, so you will have a lot of fun!

Another thing you need to know about lawyers is they get over-excited over free-time plans, simply because they have so little free time.

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3. You will be alone a lot.

Dating a lawyer sometimes feels like dating a ghost because they work a lot. A whole lot! You will often find yourself alone while your lawyer friend is at the office preparing a case. If you are the kind of person who likes to go out at 6 PM in the evening, you will be disappointed, because lawyers often work late hours. You will probably find yourself first going out on the town around 9 or 10pm.

Another thing you have to get used to when dating a lawyer is cancellations: don’t be surprised if your date cancels all your plans because he or she needs to go through a massive pile of books and laws, in order to build the case they are working on. Of course, this is one of the main reasons law is among the most swiped professions on Tinder.

4. You will learn legalese.

One of the perks of dating a lawyer is you will learn legalese. This is also valid if you are dating a law student, who is going to practice his/her speeches around the house, forcing you to hear those legal terms over and over again. The next time you are confronted with reading a contract, you will notice you understand it a lot better, which is a huge advantage.

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5. You will never pay full price again.

Lawyers are great at negotiating, which means you will never have to pay full price again. For anything! Your date is always going to make use of the proverbial lawyer charm and get some freebies or discounts. If you pay enough attention to them, you will also be able to negotiate next time you go shopping. But lawyers use their charm for a good reason…

6. Lawyers have a huge student debt.

Lawyers not only practice their skills for work when they negotiate, but also to make their life easier because they can’t afford too many things in the first few years of practice. This is due to the huge student loan debt a lawyer has, and he or she is forced to use all their skills to make a living so they can manage to repair their debt.

7. You will never win another argument again.

Lawyers argue for a living, so there is no way they are going to lose back home, on their own “field”. Also, if you propose white, they will instinctively reject it and propose black instead. They can’t help it, so don’t be mad about it.

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8. Lawyers love commitment.

This one is big: lawyers love hard facts both in work and love, so they want to be in a solid relationship. They love to be clear about their dating status and will want to have their significant other write on the calendar when their anniversary is. As a rule of thumb, keep things as clear and solid as possible in all areas of your relationship.

9. Your friends will look up to you for dating a lawyer.

As strange as it sounds, no one will ever look at you the same again after hearing you are dating a lawyer. I don’t know why this happens, but it does happen. My friends are now a lot more polite (not that they weren’t before) and their entire attitude towards me has changed. They somehow make me feel like a celebrity since I started dating my lawyer.

Bottom line, there are pros and cons to dating a lawyer, but it’s up to you to decide if it’s worth the trouble. Or you could leave it to the jury. :)

Featured photo credit: Cosmopolitan UK via cosmopolitan.co.uk

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Last Updated on June 24, 2019

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

A study [1] published in Depression and Anxiety found that social media users are more likely to be depressed. This was just one of the huge number of studies linking social media and depression[2] . But why exactly do platforms like Facebook and Instagram make people so unhappy? Well, we don’t know yet for sure, but there are some explanations.

Social Media Could Lead to Depression

Depression is a serious medical condition that affects how you think, feel, and behave. Social media may lead to depression in predisposed individuals or make existing symptoms of depression[3] worse explains[4] the study above’s senior author Dr. Brian Primack. So, the problem may not be in social media per se, but how we use it.

Signs You’re Suffering From “Social Media Depression”

If you feel like social media is having a negative impact on your mood, then you may be suffering from “social media depression.” Look for symptoms like:

• low self-esteem,

• negative self-talk,

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• a low mood,

• irritability,

• a lack of interest in activities once enjoyed,

• and social withdrawal.

If you’ve had these symptoms for more than two weeks and if this is how you feel most of the time, then you are likely depressed. Although “social media depression “is not a term recognized in the medical setting, social media depression seems to be a real phenomenon affecting around 50% of social media users. As explained in a review study[5] published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, if a person has a certain predisposition to depression and other mental disorders, social media use may only worsen their mental health.

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Social Media Could Crush Self-Esteem

We know that social media and depression are in some way linked, but why is this so? Well, according to Igor Pantic, MD, Ph.D.[6], social media use skews your perception about other people’s lives and traits. To explain this further, most people like to portray an idealized image of their lives, personal traits, and appearance on sites like Facebook and Instagram. If you confuse this idealized image with reality, you may be under the false impression that everyone is better than you which can crush your self-esteem and lead to depression. This is especially true for teens and young adults who are more likely to compare themselves to others. If you already suffer from low self-esteem, the illusion that everyone has it better off than you will just make you feel worse.

Causing Social Isolation and Other Negative Emotions

Another commonly cited reason for the negative impact of social media on mental health is its link with social isolation. Depressed people are more likely to isolate themselves socially and chose only to interact indirectly through social media platforms. But communication online tends to be superficial and is lacking when compared to real-life interaction explains Panic. What this means is not that social media leads to isolation but the other way around, possibly explaining why we find so many depressed persons on these sites.

Lastly, social media use may generate negative emotions in you like envy, jealousy, dislike, loneliness, and many others and this may worsen your depressive symptoms.

Why We Need to Take This Seriously

Both depression and social media use are on the rise according to epidemiological studies. Since each one has an impact on the other, we have to start thinking of healthier ways to use social media. Teens and young adults are especially vulnerable to the negative impact of social media on mental health.

Advice on Social Media Use

Although these findings did not provide any cause-effect explanation regarding Facebook and depression[7], they still do prove that social media use may not be a good way to handle depression. For this reason, the leading authors of these studies gave some suggestions as to how clinicians and people can make use of such findings.

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One suggestion is that clinicians should ask patients about their social media habits. Then they can advise them on how to change their outlook on social media use or even suggest limiting their time spent on social media.

Some social media users may also exhibit addictive behavior; they may spend too much time due to compulsive urges. Any compulsive behavior is bound to lead to feelings of guilt which can worsen depressive symptoms.

Having Unhealthy Relationship with Social Media

If you feel like your relationship with social media is unhealthy, then consider the advice on healthy social media use provided by psychology experts from Links Psychology[8]:

Avoid negative social comparison – always keep in mind that how people portray themselves and their lives on social media is not a realistic picture, but rather an idealized one. Also, avoid comparing yourself to others because this behavior can lead to negative self-talk.

Remember that social media is not a replacement for real life – Social media is great for staying in touch and having fun, but it should never replace real-world interactions.

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Avoid releasing personal information – For your safety and privacy, make sure to be careful with what you post online.

Report users who bully and harass you – It’s easy to be a bully in the anonymous and distant world of social media. Don’t take such offense personally and report those who abuse social media to harass others.

The bits of advice listed above can help you establish a healthy relationship with social media. Always keep these things in mind to avoid losing an objective perspective of what social media is and how it is different from real life. If you are currently suffering from depression, talk to your doctor about what is bothering you so that you can get the treatment you need to get better. Tell your doctor about your social media use and see if they could give you some advice on this topic.

Reference

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