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5 Ways to Get Out of Anything

5 Ways to Get Out of Anything

Do you have a hard time saying no? Often find yourself overcommitting? These days, it’s hard to manage a prosperous career, family life, and still make time for obligations. If you find that your free time is being devoured by commitments you care nothing about, this list is for you!

We’ve all been there. The awkward baby shower invitation from a friend of your sister’s. The wedding halfway across the country. The last-minute phone call to come into work on your day off. Some things in life are unavoidable. Fortunately, this isn’t the case for these occasions. Want to master the art of the excuse? Read on to discover 5 ways to get out of anything.

1. Be (Mostly) Honest

They say that honesty is the best policy. And it is—if it works. Being asked to volunteer at your child’s school—again? Tell them that while you love contributing, surely you’ve met your obligation for the school year. Is your office manager on your case about working even more overtime? Be forthright and say that you’re in the middle of a huge project and just can’t commit to more time. Worried that this will reflect poorly on you? Be tactful, and embellish a bit.

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Is your best friend determined to bring you in on her pyramid scheme? Let her know that while you’re super excited about that shake that cures everything, you’re allergic to half of the ingredients and can’t get behind selling something you can’t try out yourself. Trying to get out of that traffic ticket? You get the point.

Being honest does not mean being rude. There are ways to tell the truth tactfully, and still get your point across. This strategy is about being direct. If you avoid confrontation, this may not be the option for you. Fear not—there are many other suggestions ahead!

2. Be (Overly) Graphic

Need to get out of that family dinner with your in-laws? Nothing works better than the old “feeling under the weather” excuse. Used this one before? Having doubts? Add more detail. As valuable as your attendance may be, nobody wants to catch the stomach flu, or that terrible cold (whether you really have it or not). Especially when you tell them how poorly you’re feeling, the buckets of sweat you’re shedding, or the amount of times you’ve had to change the bedsheets.

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Approach this from the angle of “While I really would love to be there, I just don’t want you to get this terrible rash”. Not only will your host understand, but they’ll be glad you didn’t expose them to whatever you may have.

Embarrassed to share the ins-and-outs of that bad sushi you had the night before? There are plenty of other tips that may suit your style a bit better.

3. Be Busy

Studies show that we’re busier than ever these days. While this doesn’t always translate to accomplishment, it’s a great way to get out of the potluck you didn’t really want to attend. The best way to convince your host? Share your to-do list, and let them know how much stress you’re up against. No one can argue with an impending deadline, a stack of overdue reports, or a packed schedule. Just be sure that you are scheduling in time for things that you’re interested in outside of work. You can even use the evening you just freed up for something that you really want to do (or nothing at all!).

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Remember that you are in control of your time. If you’ve committed to something that you just don’t want to do, you can justify wriggling out of your obligation by keeping your busy schedule in mind.

4. Be Apologetic

Maybe you’re one of the few people who has exhausted all of the options on this list. The solution for you? Say that you’re sorry. Sound too simple? Customize your apology to the situation. Let your husband know how sorry you are that you just can’t host the annual Superbowl party this year even though you really wanted to try out your new sliders recipe.

Tell your parents how devastated you are that you’ll miss the cake cutting at their annual anniversary bash. Expressing your regret and genuinely apologizing is the best way to make peace with your host. Need another reason? Saying sorry (and really meaning it) has been proven to positively impact your physical and mental health.

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5. Be Prepared to Say No From The Start

Learn the art of saying no from the start. You can incorporate any of the above suggestions. But most importantly, recognize that you are in charge. Your time is valuable. You manage your own schedule. Make sure that you really are interested in something before you say “Yes!”. Don’t be afraid to ask for a day to review your schedule, or a night to sleep on it. People will appreciate your efforts to be present, even if your answer is no. Not only is it more considerate, but it gets you ahead in life as well. And if they’re still pushing you to commit? Be firm. It is better (and easier) to say no from the get-go than to have to backpedal.

You’re now equipped with 5 ways to get out of anything! Be mindful of how you’re spending your time, don’t be afraid to say no, and squeeze in time to do something you enjoy each day. Do you have another favorite go-to excuse? Any tried-and-true strategies for escaping obligations? Be sure to share with us in the comments below!

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Tom Casano

Motivator

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Last Updated on February 15, 2019

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

In Personal Development-speak, we are always talking about goals, outcomes, success, desires and dreams. In other words, all the stuff we want to do, achieve and create in our world.

And while it’s important for us to know what we want to achieve (our goal), it’s also important for us to understand why we want to achieve it; the reason behind the goal or some would say, our real goal.

Why is goal setting important?

1. Your needs and desire will be fulfilled.

Sometimes when we explore our “why”, (why we want to achieve a certain thing) we realize that our “what” (our goal) might not actually deliver us the thing (feeling, emotion, internal state) we’re really seeking.

For example, the person who has a goal to lose weight in the belief that weight loss will bring them happiness, security, fulfillment, attention, popularity and the partner of their dreams. In this instance, their “what” is weight-loss and their “why” is happiness (etc.) and a partner.

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Six months later, they have lost the weight (achieved their goal) but as is often the case, they’re not happier, not more secure, not more confident, not more fulfilled and in keeping with their miserable state, they have failed to attract their dream partner.

After all, who wants to be with someone who’s miserable? They achieved their practical goal but still failed to have their needs met.

So they set a goal to lose another ten pounds. And then another. And maybe just ten more. With the destructive and erroneous belief that if they can get thin enough, they’ll find their own personal nirvana. And we all know how that story ends.

2. You’ll find out what truly motivates you

The important thing in the process of constructing our best life is not necessarily what goals we set (what we think we want) but what motivates us towards those goals (what we really want).

The sooner we begin to explore, identify and understand what motivates us towards certain achievements, acquisitions or outcomes (that is, we begin moving towards greater consciousness and self awareness), the sooner we will make better decisions for our life, set more intelligent (and dare I say, enlightened) goals and experience more fulfilment and less frustration.

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We all know people who have achieved what they set out to, only to end up in the same place or worse (emotionally, psychologically, sociologically) because what they were chasing wasn’t really what they were needing.

What we think we want will rarely provide us with what we actually need.

3. Your state of mind will be a lot healthier

We all set specific goals to achieve/acquire certain things (a job, a car, a partner, a better body, a bank balance, a title, a victory) because at some level, most of us believe (consciously or not) that the achievement of those goals will bring us what we really seek; joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

Of course, setting practical, material and financial goals is an intelligent thing to do considering the world we live in and how that world works.

But setting goals with an expectation that the achievement of certain things in our external, physical world will automatically create an internal state of peace, contentment, joy and total happiness is an unhealthy and unrealistic mindset to inhabit.

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What you truly want and need

Sometimes we need to look beyond the obvious (superficial) goals to discover and secure what we really want.

Sadly, we live in a collective mindset which teaches that the prettiest and the wealthiest are the most successful.

Some self-help frauds even teach this message. If you’re rich or pretty, you’re happy. If you’re both, you’re very happy. Pretty isn’t what we really want; it’s what we believe pretty will bring us. Same goes with money.

When we cut through the hype, the jargon and the self-help mumbo jumbo, we all have the same basic goals, desires and needs:

Joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

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Nobody needs a mansion or a sport’s car but we all need love.

Nobody needs massive pecs, six percent body-fat, a face lift or bigger breasts but we all need connection, acceptance and understanding.

Nobody needs to be famous but we all need peace, calm, balance and happiness.

The problem is, we live in a culture which teaches that one equals the other. If only we lived in a culture which taught that real success is far more about what’s happening in our internal environment, than our external one.

It’s a commonly-held belief that we’re all very different and we all have different goals — whether short term or long term goals. But in many ways we’re not, and we don’t; we all want essentially the same things.

Now all you have to do is see past the fraud and deception and find the right path.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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