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A Polished Parenting Guide That Is Truly Inspirational

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A Polished Parenting Guide That Is Truly Inspirational

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    Parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world. Not only is it full-time, but it lasts for years and no qualification can fully prepare you for the responsibilities that come with raising the next generation! However, scientific research offers valuable insight into how we should approach the task of rearing children to be happy adults who contribute to society.

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    1. Praise kids often for their efforts, but not intelligence

    Psychologists at Columbia University have discovered that emphasizing intelligence over effort could have a detrimental effect on a child’s attitude towards work. When you show your child that you value their work ethic and determination rather than their innate capacity for academic achievement, they will be less likely to feel discouraged in the face of setbacks. Children who are told how smart they are don’t benefit from this kind of praise, because they are likely to start worrying about the possibility of failure, which would threaten their status as “the smart one.” Congratulate children for their motivation, concentration and sustained effort instead.

    2. Teach them to be happy on their own

    If you provide your children with a never-ending array of pre-arranged activities and anxiously try to entertain them whenever they complain about being bored, they will not learn how to be happy by themselves. This increases the risk that they will grow up to be insecure adults who rely on other people for contentment. Increasingly, child psychologists are extolling the virtues of allowing children to be bored. According to child psychologist Lyn Fry: “Your role as a parent is to prepare children to take their place in society. Being an adult means occupying yourself and filling up your leisure time in a way that will make you happy.”

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    3. Use carrots only for things that are really worth it, rather than sticks

    When your child is reluctant to undertake a task or work hard at school, it can be tempting to use carrots (bribes) in an attempt to shape their behavior. For example, you may promise them a material reward for certain grades. However, children need to learn that they cannot expect to be rewarded for undertaking necessary work. If they are over-rewarded, they will grow up with an unhealthy sense of entitlement. Use bribes sparingly.

    4. Planning meaningful activities

    Plan meaningful activities for them only if they’re really interested and still have the energy. It takes a lot of time, effort and sometimes money to put together a program of meaningful activities for a child. Is the payoff worth it? Some psychologists argue that children should be given more unstructured time. This allows them to learn how to entertain themselves and manage their own time. Aim to strike a balance between a few high-quality, educational activities and free time in which nothing specific is planned.

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    5. Don’t avoid talking about sex

    Talking about sex with your child can be embarrassing for you both, but if you value your child’s sexual health and well-being, it’s best to address the facts around sex and reproduction from an early age. Research shows that generally, honest and comprehensive sex education (delivered in age-appropriate language) is the best approach to take. For instance, studies have demonstrated that adolescents who are informed about contraception options and safer sex practices are at less risk of teenage pregnancy. When your child asks you where babies come from or what a particular sexual term means, answer them in a calm, clear way that leaves no room for misunderstanding. Make it clear that sex is a natural, normal part of life and that your child need not be ashamed of asking you questions.

    6. Let them be bored and they’ll learn to be creative

    Creativity is not a trait that some people possess from birth and others lack. The way in which we are raised has a strong impact on how creative we are as adults. Children have no opportunity to contemplate life and come up with new ideas if they are never allowed to be bored. Boredom forces a child to form their own “internal stimulus” that ultimately lays the groundwork for creative thought.

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    Research carried out at the University of Texas shows that when we are bored, we are likely to devise new goals and think of new ways to achieve our aims. This promotes a creative approach to life and a willingness to seek out alternatives when our preferred course of action is thwarted. Therefore, giving your child the opportunity to be bored will help them develop the cognitive skills needed to become creative thinkers and problem-solvers in later life.

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    Jay Hill

    Jay writes about communication and happiness on Lifehack.

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    Last Updated on January 5, 2022

    How to Help Your Child to Get Better Grades

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    How to Help Your Child to Get Better Grades

    Children are most likely to say that they want to just lounge around or rest for a while after spending hours listening to lecture after lecture from their teachers. There is nothing wrong with this if they had a rough day.

    What’s disturbing, is if they deliberately stay away from schoolwork or procrastinate when it comes to reviewing for their tests or completing an important science project.

    When it seems that it is becoming a habit for your child to put off school work, it’s time for you to step in and help your child develop good study habits to get better grades. It is important for you to emphasize to your child the importance of setting priorities early in life. Don’t wait for them to flunk their tests, or worse, fail in their subjects before you talk to them about it.

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    You can help your children hurdle their tests with these 7 tips:

    1. Help them set targets

    Ask your child what they want to achieve for that particular school year. Tell them to set a specific goal or target. If they say, “I want to get better grades,” tell them to be more specific. It will be better if they say they want to get a GPA of 2.5 or higher. Having a definite target will make it easier for them to undertake a series of actions to achieve their goals, instead of just “shooting for the moon.”

    2. Preparation is key

    At the start of the school year, teachers provide an outline of a subject’s scope along with a reading list and other course requirements. Make sure that your child has all the materials they need for these course requirements. Having these materials on hand will make sure that your child will have no reason to procrastinate and give them the opportunity to study in advance.

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    3. Teach them to mark important dates

    You may opt to give them a small notebook where they can jot down important dates or a planner that has dates where they can list their schedule. Ask them to show this to you so you can give them “gentle reminders” to block off the whole week before the dates of an exam. During this week, advise your child to not schedule any social activity so they can concentrate on studying.

    4. Schedule regular study time

    Encourage your child to set aside at least two hours every day to go through their lessons. This will help them remember the lectures for the day and understand the concepts they were taught. They should be encouraged to spend more time on subjects or concepts that they do not understand.

    5. Get help

    Some kids find it hard to digest or absorb mathematical or scientific concepts. Ask your child if they are having difficulties with their subjects and if they would like to seek the help of a tutor. There is nothing wrong in asking for the assistance of a tutor who can explain complex subjects.

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    6. Schedule some “downtime”

    Your child needs to relax from time to time. During his break, you can consider bringing your child to the nearest mall or grocery store and get them a treat. You may play board games with them during their downtime. The idea is to take his mind off studying for a limited period of time.

    7. Reward your child

    If your child achieves their goals for the school year, you may give them a reward such as buying them the gadget they have always wanted or allowing them to vacation wherever they want. By doing this, you are telling your child that hard work does pay off.

    Conclusion

    You need to take the time to monitor your child’s performance in school. Your guidance is essential to helping your child realize the need to prioritize their school activities. As a parent, your ultimate goal is to expose your child to habits that will lay down the groundwork for their future success.

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    Featured photo credit: Annie Spratt via unsplash.com

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