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No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent

No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent

Nothing hinders achievement and accomplishment like feeling inferior and acting without confidence.

Unfortunately, most feelings of inferiority and lack of confidence come from a lifetime of other people telling us that we can’t or that we aren’t good enough.

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Where Does Criticism Come From?

The truth is that once you realize that these issues come from tiny little comments made by others, they seem pretty silly, and changing course becomes easy. If overcoming your feelings of inferiority is a process, then step one is figuring out where these feelings come from and understanding why it’s silly to let anyone make you feel a certain way.

This concept stems from two different ideas. First, be sure to separate the event from the subjective way you feel about it. When you say “that person insulted me, and it hurt,” that’s two things. First, that person insulted you. That happened, and there is no way around that. The second, “and it hurt” is up to you. You can choose how events make you feel. Next time someone tries to belittle you, stop and think about how it affects you. The answer is that it doesn’t affect you at all unless you decide to let it.

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“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanore Roosevelt

It’s also important to consider the source of the insult. Face it; most insults don’t come from your best friend, or your significant other (and if they do, you need to re-evaluate those relationships). Insults come from the smug coworker, the cynical friend, or the adult bully.

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There’s a common thread between all of these people. They’re all the kinds of people who themselves lack confidence or are sad, or lonely. Being smug, cynical, and mean is simply a defense mechanism. They don’t want people to see their shortcomings, so they highlight the faults of others. This is pretty sad, and you should feel sorry for these people.

How to Be Mentally Strong

Mentally strong people can prevent so much grief and are ready to accomplish so much more because they understand the criticism for what it is: a sad and lonely person’s reflection of themselves. Not only do strong people let insults slide off, but they respond by being kind-hearted and helping to lift the bully up – attempting to not only keep themselves above water but to pull others up with them as well.

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Next time someone tries to make you feel inferior, you’re probably going to get upset. But at some point, while you’re processing the insult, you’re going to remember this article. Then, I want you to stop, breathe, and consider what that insult really is.

On one level, the insult is simply a string of words, and words can’t affect you. You can choose not to assign any meaning to those words, and avoid feeling blue all together. On the second level, insults are usually words of sad and hurt people. Ask yourself: what kind of barrier is this person trying to put up by acting in this way? Is he trying to protect his own insecurities and faults? The answer is almost certainly ‘yes’. Real winners and people with real confidence don’t put people down; they pull them up.

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Last Updated on August 16, 2018

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get comfortable with discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

4. See failure as a teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

5. Take baby steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

6. Hang out with risk takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

10. Focus on the fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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