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50 Small Acts That Make Your Partner Feel Loved In A Relationship

50 Small Acts That Make Your Partner Feel Loved In A Relationship
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“Love doesn’t make the world go ’round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile.”~Franklin P. Jones

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Romantic relationships seem to require a lot of time and energy once the initial honeymoon stage is over. Keeping the spark in a relationship doesn’t have to entail big, elaborate declarations of love. It’s actually the little things that make your partner feel most loved.

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Here are 50 small thoughtful ideas that can make your spouse feel loved and valued:

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  1. Buy a small “just because” present outside of a special occasion.
  2. Recreate his/her favorite restaurant meal at home.
  3. Say “thank you” and acknowledge the little things your partner does.
  4. Give encouraging words of affirmation on really tough days at work.
  5. Write “I love you” on a slip of paper and hide it in her purse or his pocket.
  6. Hold hands in public.
  7. Plan a surprise lunch date.
  8. Quickly apologize after making a mistake.
  9. Let your partner have his / her way occasionally without a fuss.
  10. Let him / her win an argument.
  11. Take lessons together (the type of lessons don’t matter).
  12. Give your partner a foot rub.
  13. Allow your partner to have space on really tough days.
  14. Say random “I love you” throughout the day.
  15. Seek to do at least one nice thing or random act of kindness for your partner each day.
  16. Give your partner a 20-minute back massage.
  17. Run a hot bubble bath complete with candles and soft music–just for him / her and allow your partner to soak as long as he / she desires.
  18. Read a book together. Take turns reading to each other.
  19. Watch your partner’s favorite show with them and be genuinely interested.
  20. Try an activity that neither one of you are familiar with or have ever tried.
  21. Cook breakfast together.
  22. Wash your partner’s car (or have it professionally detailed–it’s the thought that counts).
  23. Take a couple’s yoga class together.
  24. Play a board game together.
  25. Share your goals and dreams with one another.
  26. Create a few goals together as a couple.
  27. Take an unplanned vacation together.
  28. Skip work together and lay in bed, watch cartoons and eat cereal all day.
  29. Volunteer together.
  30. Go for a walk together.
  31. Hop in the car, turn off the GPS and get lost together.
  32. Do each other’s hair.
  33. Let her give him a shave and let him do her make up–but don’t go out in public like that…
  34. Keep at least one of your spouse’s favorite snacks on hand at all times.
  35. Buy each other an outfit–and actually wear them in public.
  36. Wear matching socks or underwear.
  37. Go on a bike ride together.
  38. Kiss each other hello and good bye.
  39. Fill your partner’s car up with gas.
  40. Tell your partner that he / she is hot.
  41. Ladies be one of the fellas for the night and hang out with him and watch sports or go to a ball game. Fellas become her girlfriend for the evening and participate in one of her “girly” activities.
  42. Bring your partner breakfast in bed.
  43. Write him / her a sweet note in steam on the mirror while he / she showers.
  44. Let your partner sleep in.
  45. Do a chore that he / she usually does.
  46. On movie night, let your partner choose.
  47. Ask your partner what makes him/her feel the most special and then do it.
  48. Call your partner in the middle of the day just to say “I love you”.
  49. Develop a secret code for “I love you” and use it in public when you are not close enough to say it verbally.
  50. Plan an evening for your partner– from start to finish–with multiple activities and pay special attention to ensuring all the details show that everything was tailor made just for him/her.

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Denise Hill

Denise shares about psychology and communication tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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