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50 Small Acts That Make Your Partner Feel Loved In A Relationship

50 Small Acts That Make Your Partner Feel Loved In A Relationship
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“Love doesn’t make the world go ’round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile.”~Franklin P. Jones

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Romantic relationships seem to require a lot of time and energy once the initial honeymoon stage is over. Keeping the spark in a relationship doesn’t have to entail big, elaborate declarations of love. It’s actually the little things that make your partner feel most loved.

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Here are 50 small thoughtful ideas that can make your spouse feel loved and valued:

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  1. Buy a small “just because” present outside of a special occasion.
  2. Recreate his/her favorite restaurant meal at home.
  3. Say “thank you” and acknowledge the little things your partner does.
  4. Give encouraging words of affirmation on really tough days at work.
  5. Write “I love you” on a slip of paper and hide it in her purse or his pocket.
  6. Hold hands in public.
  7. Plan a surprise lunch date.
  8. Quickly apologize after making a mistake.
  9. Let your partner have his / her way occasionally without a fuss.
  10. Let him / her win an argument.
  11. Take lessons together (the type of lessons don’t matter).
  12. Give your partner a foot rub.
  13. Allow your partner to have space on really tough days.
  14. Say random “I love you” throughout the day.
  15. Seek to do at least one nice thing or random act of kindness for your partner each day.
  16. Give your partner a 20-minute back massage.
  17. Run a hot bubble bath complete with candles and soft music–just for him / her and allow your partner to soak as long as he / she desires.
  18. Read a book together. Take turns reading to each other.
  19. Watch your partner’s favorite show with them and be genuinely interested.
  20. Try an activity that neither one of you are familiar with or have ever tried.
  21. Cook breakfast together.
  22. Wash your partner’s car (or have it professionally detailed–it’s the thought that counts).
  23. Take a couple’s yoga class together.
  24. Play a board game together.
  25. Share your goals and dreams with one another.
  26. Create a few goals together as a couple.
  27. Take an unplanned vacation together.
  28. Skip work together and lay in bed, watch cartoons and eat cereal all day.
  29. Volunteer together.
  30. Go for a walk together.
  31. Hop in the car, turn off the GPS and get lost together.
  32. Do each other’s hair.
  33. Let her give him a shave and let him do her make up–but don’t go out in public like that…
  34. Keep at least one of your spouse’s favorite snacks on hand at all times.
  35. Buy each other an outfit–and actually wear them in public.
  36. Wear matching socks or underwear.
  37. Go on a bike ride together.
  38. Kiss each other hello and good bye.
  39. Fill your partner’s car up with gas.
  40. Tell your partner that he / she is hot.
  41. Ladies be one of the fellas for the night and hang out with him and watch sports or go to a ball game. Fellas become her girlfriend for the evening and participate in one of her “girly” activities.
  42. Bring your partner breakfast in bed.
  43. Write him / her a sweet note in steam on the mirror while he / she showers.
  44. Let your partner sleep in.
  45. Do a chore that he / she usually does.
  46. On movie night, let your partner choose.
  47. Ask your partner what makes him/her feel the most special and then do it.
  48. Call your partner in the middle of the day just to say “I love you”.
  49. Develop a secret code for “I love you” and use it in public when you are not close enough to say it verbally.
  50. Plan an evening for your partner– from start to finish–with multiple activities and pay special attention to ensuring all the details show that everything was tailor made just for him/her.

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Denise Hill

Denise shares about psychology and communication tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

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