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Try These 10 Things If You Want Success In A Long Distance Relationship

Try These 10 Things If You Want Success In A Long Distance Relationship

Every relationship demands that both parties put in a lot of hard work and dedication to keep the romance alive. And a long distance relationship needs even more of that hard work and dedication which is why it can be very tricky.

The distance of hundreds or thousands of miles between the couple makes things difficult and they tend to get complicated- it certainly is not easy. However, it isn’t impossible to make long distance relationships work in this era of internet.

While it may seem like the distance will make the relationship less satisfying, knowing some simple facts and abiding by them could make the long distance relationships just as exciting and fulfilling. Here below, we’ve listed 10 things every couple in long distance relationships should work on to make the relationship work.

1. Manage time and communicate in a healthy manner.

Long distance relationships force you to communicate a lot to compensate for the distance. You’ll spend hours and hours talking and chatting. You’ll focus a lot of your time and energy on your partner as you constantly feel the necessity to communicate to keep the relationship working. But soon, you get tired and things start to look hopeless.

Know the right moments- when and how you say things matters more than how frequently you talk. Build a healthy pattern to communicate with your partner. Knowing how and when to communicate will take a great lot of pressure off the relationship and keeps it healthy.

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Proper management is the key in LDR. Know each other’s schedule and manage time in such a fashion that it drives your relationship as well as other aspects of your life side by side. Avoid excess communication since that is actually unhealthy.

2. Be open about your emotions.

It is of utmost importance to be open about your emotions in every relationship and it is more so in long distance relationships. Talk about your weaknesses just as you’d talk about your strengths.

It is easier to hide your true feelings and weakness in LDRs for the distance provides the perfect cover. But, hiding your emotions and keeping secrets could set the relationship in the course of disaster.

Since the distance will magnify any kind of tensions in a long distance relationship, it is better to talk about jealousy, envy, insecurities and be honest and transparent about everything.

3. Send each other gifts.

Everybody loves getting gifts. Gifts pretty well do their job of strengthening any relationship- they sure do work their magic in a long distance relationship as well. Send flowers, cards or any thoughtful gifts to help your partner feel loved.

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Send each other personal objects to hold on to. When you are far apart, having something tangible to remember each other by strengthens the relationship. Buy things online and have them delivered to your partner as a surprise.

4. Talk dirty.

In a long distance relationship, physical intimacy is almost off the table, so talking is all that the couple have. When you’re already talking so much about everything, talk about sex and make it dirty.

Sexual desire keeps the relationship going and reinforces trust between couples. Let your partner’s imagination run wild with provocative descriptions and sexual innuendos. You sure like seeing each other- exchange seductive selfies or even video chat if you both like making things adventurous.

After all, turning your guy on or girl for that matter from time to time is very important to keep the relationship alive. Make sure your computers don’t have any virus for obvious reasons.

5. Learn to ask good questions and listen well, get creative, and surprise your partner.

Dull conversations in long distance relationship might suggest that the flame is dying. To prevent such situations, talk about the deep stuffs that make you think and help you understand each other better. Listen carefully and ask good questions. Things get boring sometimes, acknowledge that, but just don’t be so lame that your partner might start to question the relationship.

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Learn about her/his interests and get creative to surprise them from time to time. Find good topics before you start chatting or talking. Sing to each other on telephone or video chats, write songs or poems about your partner if that is your thing. Make them feel special with words.

6. Do things together.

Doing things together like movies, dinners, and dates might not be achievable in a long distance relationship but still there are plenty of things you can do together online. Watch movie at the same time and talk about it immediately afterwards.

Play online games together. Read books and articles online, recommend them to each other. Designate date nights and video chat, listen to music, sing together, dance for each other. Do things and laugh together. It really helps to keep the relationship going.

7. Try writing letters and long emails to each other.

Letters and emails offer you that precious time to think and express yourself in the best way possible to your partner than when you’re texting or talking over the telephone. The joy and excitement when you find a letter from your lover in your mailbox is a hundred times stronger than when you get a text on your cellphone.

Write long emails to reflect on any tricky issues you might have in the relationship. Besides, emails and letters can be treasured for the future- who knows your long distance love story could make a great book later where your letters and emails would make exciting reads.

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 8. Learn to manage your emotions and expectations.

There are times of excitement and joy when your great expectations come true. But also, long distance relationships come with more room for jealousy, envy, doubts, fear and ups and downs. And they are easily magnified, if not taken care of properly.

Approaches like cutting off communication and giving the silent treatment make things extremely difficult in long distance relationships. The best approach is to understand the situation and talk to each other about managing your emotions and expectations together. Recognizing your emotions and managing your expectations pays off big time.

9. Spend time with friends and family outside the relationship.

People in long distance relationships may develop tendencies to turn inwards after spending so much time without their partner. Lonelier times could be difficult to cope with and social situations might become awkward for them. The long distance relationship takes its toll on the lovers that way.

Understand that you have a life where you are at the moment. Don’t cut off your friends and families from your life, spend time with them. Involve yourself in other things of your liking. The secret is to keep yourself healthy, so that you can keep your relationship healthy.

10. Visit your partner as often as possible.

Visit your partner as often as possible. Nothing else can parallel the joy and happiness of meeting each other in person, not even the gifts or letters. If you haven’t yet met each other and are limited to talking and interacting online, it’s wiser to meet as soon as possible.

It could be that the chemistry you have online might not be there when you are together in person. Find that out as soon as possible. Schedule meetings before hand and save up for your trips.

Featured photo credit: Pixabay via pixabay.com

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Nabin Paudyal

Co-Founder, Siplikan Media Group

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

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