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4 Secrets People Who Get Exactly What They Want Know But You Don’t

4 Secrets People Who Get Exactly What They Want Know But You Don’t
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Getting what you want out of life isn’t about being a lucky person. It isn’t about being born into a rich and successful family. It’s not about being at the right place at the right time. You don’t have to be a genius or acquire special skills. Knowing how to get what you want is something we can all achieve. Incorporating these four tips into your daily routine will help to get you where you want and need to be.

1. Visualize What You Want

Visualizing what you want will help manifest them into reality. Visualize every morning how you want your day to be. Every night, think about the day you just had, focus on the good aspects and then visualize them. Be thankful and grateful that these good things happened. Instead of stressing over the bills, visualize yourself writing the checks to get them paid. Instead of worrying about your boss, visualize yourself being accomplished and productive at work. Visualize where you want to be next week; next year. Don’t fret over the how, when, where, why…just picture yourself there and the rest will fall into place.

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In “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne, she suggests a ‘vision board’ in addition to the visualizations in your mind. Having a poster or bulletin board decorated with your favorite things; the things you want; the things you hope to acquire, can be a helpful tool.

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2. Communication effectively

Visualizing what you want is the first step. Communicating those wants is the second. Don’t let the fear of rejection or insecurity stand in your way of communicating your wants and needs. Speak openly and honestly. Be clear in your terms and what you expect the outcome to be. Be accepting of how others feel and respond, but don’t back down or walk way until your point has been made. Know who you’re talking to, know what you want to say, and be yourself. If you are communicating effectively, a common ground with others can always be met.

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3. Ask For What You Want

Do you know how to get what you want? Ask for it! It’s one thing to have good communication, but sometimes just talking isn’t enough; you must come right out and ask. There is nothing wrong with being straightforward and bold. There is no vanity in being honest and confident. You can’t get the promotion at work if you don’t apply for it. You won’t get extra help around the house if you don’t let your family know you need it. Your secret crush won’t be aware of your feelings if you don’t let him or her know about them. There is no guarantee that you’ll always get the answer you are hoping for, but at least you’ll know for sure, and can work on your next strategy from there.

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4. Work Hard and Be Persistent

This sounds so cliché, but it’s very true. Knowing how to get what you want is key, but working hard to achieve it is critical as well. You can’t lie back and watch the world go around just because you are aware of what to do; you have to put those thoughts into actions. Getting what you want requires daily motivation and persistence. You can never give up; you can never lose sight. If you are working towards a degree in school, you must study often. If you are working towards a promotion, you must put in extra hours. Make a plan and commit to following through. It won’t always be easy, but when you set your mind to working hard, it can and will be accomplished.

Life can sometimes be a struggle, but it never has to feel like a losing battle. Incorporating positive energy into your life on a daily basis will wash out all the negativity that holds you back from getting what you want. Visualize, communicate, ask and work hard, all the successes you want in life will be yours!

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Last Updated on July 21, 2021

The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder Work)

The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder Work)
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No matter how well you set up your todo list and calendar, you aren’t going to get things done unless you have a reliable way of reminding yourself to actually do them.

Anyone who’s spent an hour writing up the perfect grocery list only to realize at the store that they forgot to bring the list understands the importance of reminders.

Reminders of some sort or another are what turn a collection of paper goods or web services into what David Allen calls a “trusted system.”[1]

A lot of people resist getting better organized. No matter what kind of chaotic mess, their lives are on a day-to-day basis because they know themselves well enough to know that there’s after all that work they’ll probably forget to take their lists with them when it matters most.

Fortunately, there are ways to make sure we remember to check our lists — and to remember to do the things we need to do, whether they’re on a list or not.

In most cases, we need a lot of pushing at first, for example by making a reminder, but eventually we build up enough momentum that doing what needs doing becomes a habit — not an exception.

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From Creating Reminders to Building Habits

A habit is any act we engage in automatically without thinking about it.

For example, when you brush your teeth, you don’t have to think about every single step from start to finish; once you stagger up to the sink, habit takes over (and, really, habit got you to the sink in the first place) and you find yourself putting toothpaste on your toothbrush, putting the toothbrush in your mouth (and never your ear!), spitting, rinsing, and so on without any conscious effort at all.

This is a good thing because if you’re anything like me, you’re not even capable of conscious thought when you’re brushing your teeth.

The good news is you already have a whole set of productivity habits you’ve built up over the course of your life. The bad news is, a lot of them aren’t very good habits.

That quick game Frogger to “loosen you up” before you get working, that always ends up being 6 hours of Frogger –– that’s a habit. And as you know, habits like that can be hard to break — which is one of the reasons why habits are so important in the first place.

Once you’ve replaced an unproductive habit with a more productive one, the new habit will be just as hard to break as the old one was. Getting there, though, can be a chore!

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The old saw about anything you do for 21 days becoming a habit has been pretty much discredited, but there is a kernel of truth there — anything you do long enough becomes an ingrained behavior, a habit. Some people pick up habits quickly, others over a longer time span, but eventually, the behaviors become automatic.

Building productive habits, then, is a matter of repeating a desired behavior over a long enough period of time that you start doing it without thinking.

But how do you remember to do that? And what about the things that don’t need to be habits — the one-off events, like taking your paycheck stubs to your mortgage banker or making a particular phone call?

The trick to reminding yourself often enough for something to become a habit, or just that one time that you need to do something, is to interrupt yourself in some way in a way that triggers the desired behavior.

The Wonderful Thing About Triggers — Reminders

A trigger is anything that you put “in your way” to remind you to do something. The best triggers are related in some way to the behavior you want to produce.

For instance, if you want to remember to take something to work that you wouldn’t normally take, you might place it in front of the door so you have to pick it up to get out of your house.

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But anything that catches your attention and reminds you to do something can be a trigger. An alarm clock or kitchen timer is a perfect example — when the bell rings, you know to wake up or take the quiche out of the oven. (Hopefully you remember which trigger goes with which behavior!)

If you want to instill a habit, the thing to do is to place a trigger in your path to remind you to do whatever it is you’re trying to make into a habit — and keep it there until you realize that you’ve already done the thing it’s supposed to remind you of.

For instance, a post-it saying “count your calories” placed on the refrigerator door (or maybe on your favorite sugary snack itself)  can help you remember that you’re supposed to be cutting back — until one day you realize that you don’t need to be reminded anymore.

These triggers all require a lot of forethought, though — you have to remember that you need to remember something in the first place.

For a lot of tasks, the best reminder is one that’s completely automated — you set it up and then forget about it, trusting the trigger to pop up when you need it.

How to Make a Reminder Works for You

Computers and ubiquity of mobile Internet-connected devices make it possible to set up automatic triggers for just about anything.

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Desktop software like Outlook will pop up reminders on your desktop screen, and most online services go an extra step and send reminders via email or SMS text message — just the thing to keep you on track. Sandy, for example, just does automatic reminders.

Automated reminders can help you build habits — but it can also help you remember things that are too important to be trusted even to habit. Diabetics who need to take their insulin, HIV patients whose medication must be taken at an exact time in a precise order, phone calls that have to be made exactly on time, and other crucial events require triggers even when the habit is already in place.

My advice is to set reminders for just about everything — have them sent to your mobile phone in some way (either through a built-in calendar or an online service that sends updates) so you never have to think about it — and never have to worry about forgetting.

Your weekly review is a good time to enter new reminders for the coming weeks or months. I simply don’t want to think about what I’m supposed to be doing; I want to be reminded so I can think just about actually doing it.

I tend to use my calendar for reminders, mostly, though I do like Sandy quite a bit.

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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Reference

[1] Getting Things Done: Trusted System

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