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How to Set Life Goals That Ensure Success and Happiness

How to Set Life Goals That Ensure Success and Happiness

If you want to be successful and happy you have to set life goals. Why? Because life goals give you focus, motivation and vision. They help you to formulate action plans and implement the steps you need to take. Without them you are lost. Moreover, seeing and experiencing yourself achieving the steps toward reaching a goal, can be motivating in itself and builds confidence in your ability to hit your target. Research suggests that setting life goals for ourselves and progressing towards them, also fosters well-being. Perhaps because our happiness is intertwined with having a sense of meaning, hope and purpose in life.

So which type of goals work best and how should you set them specifically?

Studies have shown that there are two types of goals:

1. Intrinsic goals: According to positive psychologist Tim Kasser and colleagues, intrinsic goals ‘are those that are inherently satisfying to pursue because they are likely to satisfy innate psychological needs for autonomy, relatedness, competence, and growth’. They depend on satisfying one’s own basic psychological needs rather than relying upon the judgments or approval of others. Examples of these goals include self-acceptance, forming social connections, studying further and physical fitness.

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2. Extrinsic goals: These types of goals on the other hand, are focused on attaining rewards and/or praise from others. They are a means to an end, not inherently rewarding in and of themselves. Examples include financial wealth, fame, or popularity. People often pursue extrinsic goals under the assumption that these goals will bring them happiness, but evidence suggests otherwise.

Researchers speculate that intrinsic goals lead to greater happiness because, in the pursuit of these goals, people have positive experiences along the way that support their happiness.

Now that you understand the significance of setting intrinsic goals to your well-being, ask yourself the following:

# What are my values?
# What do I dream of achieving?
# Who am I really?
# Have I a mission in the world?
# And if so, what do I stand for?
# What would I do to defend my mission?

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Success is about giving the fullest expression to your dreams, your hopes, your aspirations and your values. You need to strive and work in alignment with these things. It is not about living by the measures of: other people, class, race, parents demands and society wants. You have to have a sense of mission. The opinion of others can deprive you of oxygen and the space you need to explore your vision. Each one of us is unique and success is finding that mission, so cut yourself some slack. Think about what you could do other than you are doing now to be the true expression of yourself. What would you do differently, if you had the courage to truly accept yourself?

It can’t be stated enough that the goals of true personal success and happiness can never be imposed upon you by organisations, bosses, family or friends. They must spring from your heart and inner desires. You will know when you are on the right track when you have discovered what you truly want. This is often accompanied by strong emotion and feelings of liberation.

How to Do The Best Possible Self Practice

Take a moment to close your eyes, relax and imagine your life in the future. Visualise your goals. Make them live, give them colour, turn up the volume. If they give you a feeling, where and what is it. What is the best possible life you can imagine? Consider all of the relevant areas of your life, such as your career, academic work, relationships, spiritual life, hobbies, and health. What would happen in these areas of your life in your best possible future? Now for the next 15 minutes, write continuously about what you imagine this best possible future to be.

Remember to always state what you want in the positive. If you state something in the negative, you are running away from rather than truly embracing the message that your heart gives you. You are like a ship leaving a harbour with no real destination. You need to move clearly towards your goals, whether they are short term or long term.

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It may be easy for this exercise to lead you to examine how your current life may not match this best possible future. You may be tempted to think about ways in which accomplishing goals has been difficult for you in the past, or about financial/time/social barriers to being able to make these accomplishments happen. For the purpose of this exercise, however, focus only on the future—imagine a brighter future in which you are your ‘best self’ and your circumstances change just enough to make this best possible life happen.

This exercise is most useful when it is very specific—if you think about a new job, imagine exactly what you would do, who you would work with, and where it would be. The more specific you are, the more engaged you will be in the exercise and the more you’ll get out of it. Be as creative and imaginative as you want, and don’t worry about grammar or spelling.

Why You Should Try it

Sometimes discovering our goals in life can be a challenging task. But research suggests that building optimism about the future can motivate people to work toward that desired future and thus make it more likely to become a reality.

This exercise asks you to imagine your life going as well as it possibly could, then write about this best possible future. By doing so, research suggests that you’ll not only increase your happiness in the present but pave the way for sustained happiness down the line.

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Why This Practice is Useful

By thinking about your best possible future self, you can learn about yourself and what you want in life. This way of thinking can help you restructure your priorities in life in order to reach your goals. Additionally, it can help you increase your sense of control over your life by highlighting what you need to do to achieve your dreams

To set real and tangible goals, always consider them in terms of the impact on others and whether they are capable of inspiring. Ultimately, selfish goals are empty and meaningless. They will not inspire your heart in the long term. Consider what your goals will enable you to offer your fellow people. Do they make sense and help you attain a building block in your life and career and could you achieve more for yourself and humanity?

Goals form your life and create desire. Sometimes realism sets in and you have to readjust. However, you can still hold onto them. If you discover weaknesses simply consider what you can do to turn them into strengths. Never lose sight of your life goals because not only are they achievable, they are what your dreams are made of and we all need to dream, don’t we!

Featured photo credit: BK via flickr.com

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Last Updated on October 13, 2020

How to Get Promoted When You Feel Stuck in Your Current Position

How to Get Promoted When You Feel Stuck in Your Current Position

Have you been stuck in the same position for too long and don’t really know how to get promoted and advance your career?

Feeling stuck could be caused by a variety of things:

  • Taking a job for the money
  • Staying with an employer that no longer aligns with your values
  • Realizing that you landed yourself in the wrong career
  • Not feeling valued or feeling underutilized
  • Taking a position without a full understanding of the role

There are many other reasons why you may be feeling this way, but let’s focus instead on learning what to do now in order to get unstuck and get promoted

One of the best ways to get promoted is by showing how you add value to your organization. Did you make money, save money, improve a process, or do some other amazing thing? How else might you demonstrate added value?

Let’s dive right in to how to get promoted when you feel stuck in your current position.

1. Be a Mentor

When I supervised students, I used to warm them — tongue in cheek, of course — about getting really good at their job.

“Be careful not to get too good at this, or you’ll never get to do anything else.”

This was my way of pestering them to take on additional challenges or think outside the box, but there is definitely some truth in doing something so well that your manager doesn’t trust anyone else to do it.

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This can get you stuck.

Jo Miller of Be Leaderly shares this insight on when your boss thinks you’re too valuable in your current job:

“Think back to a time when you really enjoyed your current role…You became known for doing your job so well that you built up some strong ‘personal brand’ equity, and people know you as the go-to-person for this particular job. That’s what we call ‘a good problem to have’: you did a really good job of building a positive perception about your suitability for the role, but you may have done ‘too’ good of a job!”[1]

With this in mind, how do you prove to your employer that you can add value by being promoted?

From Miller’s insight, she talks about building your personal brand and becoming known for doing a particular job well. So how can you link that work with a position or project that will earn you a promotion?

Consider leveraging your strengths and skills.

Let’s say that the project you do so well is hiring and training new entry-level employees. You have to post the job listing, read and review resumes, schedule interviews, make hiring decisions, and create the training schedules. These tasks require skills such as employee relations, onboarding, human resources software, performance management, teamwork, collaboration, customer service, and project management. That’s a serious amount of skills!

Are there any team members who can perform these skills? Try delegating and training some of your staff or colleagues to learn your job. There are a number of reasons why this is a good idea:

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  1. Cross-training helps in any situation in the event that there’s an extended illness and the main performer of a certain task is out for a while.
  2. As a mentor to a supervisee or colleague, you empower them to increase their job skills.
  3. You are already beginning to demonstrate that added value to your employer by encouraging your team or peers to learn your job and creating team players.

Now that you’ve trained others to do that work for which you have been so valued, you can see about re-requesting that promotion. Explain how you have saved the company money, encouraged employees to increase their skills, or reinvented that project of yours.

2. Work on Your Mindset

Another reason you may feel stuck in a position is explained through this quote:

“If you feel stuck at a job you used to love, it’s normally you—not the job—who needs to change. The position you got hired for is probably the exact same one you have now. But if you start to dread the work routine, you’re going to focus on the negatives.”[2]

In this situation, you should pursue a conversation with your supervisor and share your thoughts and feelings to help you learn how to get promoted. You can probably get some advice on how to rediscover the aspects of that job you enjoyed, and negotiate either some additional duties or a chance to move up.

Don’t express frustration. Express a desire for more.

Present your case and show your boss or supervisor that you want to be challenged, and you want to move up. You want more responsibility in order to continue moving the company forward. Focus on how you can do that with the skills you have and the positive mindset you’ve cultivated.

3. Improve Your Soft Skills

When was the last time you put focus and effort into upping your game with those soft skills? I’m talking about those seemingly intangible things that make you the experienced professional in your specific job skills[3].

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Use soft skills when learning how to get promoted.

    According to research, improving soft skills can boost productivity and retention 12 percent and deliver a 250 percent return on investment based on higher productivity and retention[4]. Those are only some of the benefits for both you and your employer when you want to learn how to get promoted.

    You can hone these skills and increase your chances of promotion into a leadership role by taking courses or seminars.

    Furthermore, you don’t necessarily need to request funding from your supervisor. There are dozens of online courses being presented by entrepreneurs and authors about these very subjects. Udemy and Creative Live both feature online courses at very reasonable prices. And some come with completion certificates for your portfolio!

    Another way to improve your soft skills is by connecting with an employee at your organization who has a position similar to the one you want.

    Express your desire to move up in the organization, and ask to shadow that person or see if you can sit in on some of their meetings. Offer to take that individual out for coffee and ask what their secret is! Take copious notes, and then immerse yourself in the learning.

    The key here is not to copy your new mentor. Rather, you want to observe, learn, and then adapt according to your strengths.

    4. Develop Your Strategy

    Do you even know specifically why you want to learn how to get promoted? Do you see a future at this company? Do you have a one-year, five-year, or ten-year plan for your career path? How often do you consider your “why” and insure that it aligns with your “what”?

    Sit down and make an old-fashioned pro and con list.

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    Write down every positive aspect of your current job and then every negative one. Which list is longer? Are there any themes present?

    Look at your lists and choose the most exciting pros and the most frustrating cons. Do those two pros make the cons worth it? If you can’t answer that question with a “yes,” then getting promoted at your current organization may not be what you really want[5].

    The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. —Mark Twain

    Here are some questions to ask yourself:

    • Why do you do what you do?
    • What thrills you about your current job role or career?
    • What does a great day look like?
    • What does success look and feel like beyond the paycheck?
    • How do you want to feel about your impact on the world when you retire?

    Define success to get promoted

      These questions would be great to reflect on in a journal or with your supervisor in your next one-on-one meeting. Or, bring it up with one of your work friends over coffee.

      Final Thoughts

      After considering all of these points and doing your best to learn how to get promoted, what you might find is that being stuck is your choice. Then, you can set yourself on the path of moving up where you are, or moving on to something different.

      Because sometimes the real promotion is finding your life’s purpose.

      More Tips on How to Get Promoted

      Featured photo credit: Razvan Chisu via unsplash.com

      Reference

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