Advertising
Advertising

Don’t Want To Feel Lost Anymore? Find Your Life Purpose With This Indicator

Don’t Want To Feel Lost Anymore? Find Your Life Purpose With This Indicator

At some point, we all question what our purpose in life is. We can sometimes spend years contemplating and losing time over what we should be doing in life, what we really enjoy, and how to utilise these into a path that brings wealth and happiness in equal abundance.

Those that seem to have found their purpose are deemed the ‘lucky ones’ – those select few who managed to figure it all out early and pursued their dreams with clarity and success. Yet you’ve reached a point in your life where you just don’t feel satisfied anymore and no matter how much you think about what you want to do, you can’t reach a conclusion on how to find your life purpose.

What if I told you the answer to your question isn’t a philosophical or mind-taxing process? What if I said the answer to your question has been with you all along?

We can spend so long deliberating and frustrating ourselves; going around in circles and coming to no real conclusion all the while feeling that time is slipping away and life is passing us by. But the real answer is all in our Energy.

Advertising

Energy vs. energy

When I say Energy (with a capital E) I’m not talking about physical energy that we exert in our everyday tasks or the energy we get from drinking coffee or exercising. The Energy I’m referring to is flowing all around our body, it’s at the core of our being and present in every breath we take and it’s what makes each and every one of us unique.

So what has this got to do with figuring out how to find your life purpose? Simply put: if you’re aligned with your inner Energy then things feel easy and feel like they’re flowing; when you’re not aligned, things feel hard, frustrating and you feel deflated and unhappy. These are key signs to see whether or not you’re aligned with your inner-Energy.

We are all here to fulfill a purpose we were destined for, and to find it, you need to follow and listen to what your Energy is telling you and guiding you to do. When you do this, things seem effortless, easy and enjoyable no matter what it is. So if what you’re doing in life feels painful, frustrating, depressing, needlessly difficult or mentally exhausting, you may need to pay more attention to this as these negative feelings are an indicator given to you through your inner-Energy letting you know you aren’t on the right path.

How Do You Align With Your Energy?

You need to invest time in the activities and actions in life that gives you energy rather than drains you of it. Have you ever done something and felt completely in the flow of it? Two hours felt like two minutes and you felt a euphoric sense of achievement no matter what it was? This was when you were aligned with your Energy. We all have this amazing feedback system but most of us tend to ignore it – believing that pursuing hard, painful work is how we become successful and happy and anything easy and enjoyable won’t get us the money or happiness we really want.

Advertising

Write Down The Things In Life That Give You Energy

These are the things that you do in life that give you endless energy. That no matter how hard you work on it, if you stay up all night to do it, it will feel really good to you – when it feels ‘right’ and you just know all the work is worth it – this is when you’re aligned with your Energy.

You know that it’s not a matter of if the results will happen but rather when. 

So write down your strengths and what you love to do no matter how insignificant they seem to you. Perhaps get someone close to you to help you out as a lot of us can be quite blind to what we’re truly good at.

Write Down The Things In Life That Drain You Of Energy

We are so ingrained to believe that to succeed we need to have certain skills and attributes so we mould ourselves to fit the society-shaped hole that will bring us the money and success we want, dismissing our ultimate happiness and true path in the process. Whoever declared that you need to be business-minded to start your own business is wrong – there are thousands of people who have successful businesses that didn’t have a clue where to initially start. Whoever declared to be a good manager, you have to be a great leader is wrong – there are plenty of amazing managers who don’t have the best leadership skills.

Advertising

Be honest with yourself and stop pretending you like doing things that you actually hate doing deep down. We can’t be good at everything and that’s okay – once we accept this we can go on to follow our true path.

Write down all the activities you do in life (big and small) that don’t provide you with energy. What do you do that makes you think “what was the point?” What do you do a lot of in life that just feels difficult and hard or that you get no real sense of joy from?

Stay True To Your Inner-Energy

The key is to do more of what gives you energy and do less of what doesn’t. If it feels good to you, no matter what it is and no matter how hard you work, that is you aligning with that wonderful Energy.

Aligning with your Energy may not bring immediate results, it won’t necessarily make you perfect or super successful but it is making you happy and it’s taking you on the path to your full potential.

Advertising

Staying true to your inner-Energy and being guided by what feels good and what feels bad, will help you stay on track even when life throws you in the rubbish dump from time to time – you will be able to get back to what your life purpose is which is something that is continuous throughout your life. What feels good to you may even change and evolve as you go through life but listening to your inner-feelings is the key to the happiness and fulfillment you want.

When you find your purpose in life through aligning your Energy, you will naturally become a better version of yourself – you become a better husband, wife, mother, father, colleague, neighbour or friend. It will transcend throughout your life and you will know you’re on the right path. This isn’t elusive to a select few or impossible to achieve – our Energy is in each and every one of us waiting to be noticed and wanting to show us our true purpose.

Featured photo credit: unsplash.com via pexels.com

More by this author

Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset How To Celebrate Small Wins To Achieve Big Goals How To Overcome Self Imposed Limitations For Goal Setting To Reach Your Goals, Start With Planning For The Worst Why Setting Intrinsic Goals Can Make You Happier

Trending in Communication

1 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples 2 Take Back Your Personal Power (Part 1) 3 Take Back Your Personal Power (Part 2) 4 When You Start to Let Go of Your Past, These 10 Things Will Happen 5 How to Learn to Let Go of What You Can’t Control

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on January 24, 2021

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

Do you say yes so often that you no longer feel that your own needs are being met? Are you wondering how to say no to people?

For years, I was a serial people pleaser[1]. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time, especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

It took a long while, but I learned the art of saying no. Saying no meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. When that happened, I became a lot happier.

And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

The Importance of Saying No

When you learn the art of saying no, you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey, considered one of the most successful women in the world, confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything.

Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

Warren Buffett views “no” as essential to his success. He said:

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

When I made “no” a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success, focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say no.

From an early age, we are conditioned to say yes. We said yes probably hundreds of times in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work, to get a promotion, to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

We say yes because we feel good when we help someone, because it can seem like the right thing to do, because we think that is key to success, and because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist.

And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves.

Advertising

At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we are feeling bad that we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

The message, no matter where we turn, is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

How Do You Say No Without Feeling Guilty?

Deciding to add the word “no” to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say no, but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of no that you could finally create more time for things you care about.

But let’s be honest, using the word “no” doesn’t come easily for many people.

3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time, especially you haven’t done it much in the past, will feel awkward. Your comfort zone is “yes,” so it’s time to challenge that and step outside that.

If you need help getting out of your comfort zone, check out this article.

2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

When you want to learn how to say no, remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it: who else knows about all of the demands in your life? No one.

Only you are at the center of all of these requests. You are the only one that understands what time you really have.

3. Saying No Means Saying Yes to Something That Matters

When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else that we may care more about. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

6 Ways to Start Saying No

Incorporating that little word “no” into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

Advertising

1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

One of the biggest challenges to saying no is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no will reflect poorly on you?

Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because of FOMO, even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better[2].

3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say No

Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say yes because we worry about how others will respond or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose their respect. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

Keep in mind that saying no can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way.

You might disappoint someone initially, but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to. And it will often help others have more respect for you and your boundaries, not less.

4. When the Request Comes in, Sit on It

Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say no. There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

5. Communicate Your “No” with Transparency and Kindness

When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest[3] to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

Advertising

How do you say no? 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

    Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

    Clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

    6. Consider How to Use a Modified No

    If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” as this will give you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

    Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task, but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

    Final Thoughts

    Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

    Use the request as a way to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself.

    Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project, but not by working all weekend. You’ll find yourself much happier.

    More Tips on How to Say No

    Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Science of People: 11 Expert Tips to Stop Being a People Pleaser and Start Doing You
    [2] Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Tips to Get Over Your FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out
    [3] Cooks Hill Counseling: 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

    Read Next