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Don’t Want To Feel Lost Anymore? Find Your Life Purpose With This Indicator

Don’t Want To Feel Lost Anymore? Find Your Life Purpose With This Indicator

At some point, we all question what our purpose in life is. We can sometimes spend years contemplating and losing time over what we should be doing in life, what we really enjoy, and how to utilise these into a path that brings wealth and happiness in equal abundance.

Those that seem to have found their purpose are deemed the ‘lucky ones’ – those select few who managed to figure it all out early and pursued their dreams with clarity and success. Yet you’ve reached a point in your life where you just don’t feel satisfied anymore and no matter how much you think about what you want to do, you can’t reach a conclusion on how to find your life purpose.

What if I told you the answer to your question isn’t a philosophical or mind-taxing process? What if I said the answer to your question has been with you all along?

We can spend so long deliberating and frustrating ourselves; going around in circles and coming to no real conclusion all the while feeling that time is slipping away and life is passing us by. But the real answer is all in our Energy.

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Energy vs. energy

When I say Energy (with a capital E) I’m not talking about physical energy that we exert in our everyday tasks or the energy we get from drinking coffee or exercising. The Energy I’m referring to is flowing all around our body, it’s at the core of our being and present in every breath we take and it’s what makes each and every one of us unique.

So what has this got to do with figuring out how to find your life purpose? Simply put: if you’re aligned with your inner Energy then things feel easy and feel like they’re flowing; when you’re not aligned, things feel hard, frustrating and you feel deflated and unhappy. These are key signs to see whether or not you’re aligned with your inner-Energy.

We are all here to fulfill a purpose we were destined for, and to find it, you need to follow and listen to what your Energy is telling you and guiding you to do. When you do this, things seem effortless, easy and enjoyable no matter what it is. So if what you’re doing in life feels painful, frustrating, depressing, needlessly difficult or mentally exhausting, you may need to pay more attention to this as these negative feelings are an indicator given to you through your inner-Energy letting you know you aren’t on the right path.

How Do You Align With Your Energy?

You need to invest time in the activities and actions in life that gives you energy rather than drains you of it. Have you ever done something and felt completely in the flow of it? Two hours felt like two minutes and you felt a euphoric sense of achievement no matter what it was? This was when you were aligned with your Energy. We all have this amazing feedback system but most of us tend to ignore it – believing that pursuing hard, painful work is how we become successful and happy and anything easy and enjoyable won’t get us the money or happiness we really want.

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Write Down The Things In Life That Give You Energy

These are the things that you do in life that give you endless energy. That no matter how hard you work on it, if you stay up all night to do it, it will feel really good to you – when it feels ‘right’ and you just know all the work is worth it – this is when you’re aligned with your Energy.

You know that it’s not a matter of if the results will happen but rather when. 

So write down your strengths and what you love to do no matter how insignificant they seem to you. Perhaps get someone close to you to help you out as a lot of us can be quite blind to what we’re truly good at.

Write Down The Things In Life That Drain You Of Energy

We are so ingrained to believe that to succeed we need to have certain skills and attributes so we mould ourselves to fit the society-shaped hole that will bring us the money and success we want, dismissing our ultimate happiness and true path in the process. Whoever declared that you need to be business-minded to start your own business is wrong – there are thousands of people who have successful businesses that didn’t have a clue where to initially start. Whoever declared to be a good manager, you have to be a great leader is wrong – there are plenty of amazing managers who don’t have the best leadership skills.

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Be honest with yourself and stop pretending you like doing things that you actually hate doing deep down. We can’t be good at everything and that’s okay – once we accept this we can go on to follow our true path.

Write down all the activities you do in life (big and small) that don’t provide you with energy. What do you do that makes you think “what was the point?” What do you do a lot of in life that just feels difficult and hard or that you get no real sense of joy from?

Stay True To Your Inner-Energy

The key is to do more of what gives you energy and do less of what doesn’t. If it feels good to you, no matter what it is and no matter how hard you work, that is you aligning with that wonderful Energy.

Aligning with your Energy may not bring immediate results, it won’t necessarily make you perfect or super successful but it is making you happy and it’s taking you on the path to your full potential.

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Staying true to your inner-Energy and being guided by what feels good and what feels bad, will help you stay on track even when life throws you in the rubbish dump from time to time – you will be able to get back to what your life purpose is which is something that is continuous throughout your life. What feels good to you may even change and evolve as you go through life but listening to your inner-feelings is the key to the happiness and fulfillment you want.

When you find your purpose in life through aligning your Energy, you will naturally become a better version of yourself – you become a better husband, wife, mother, father, colleague, neighbour or friend. It will transcend throughout your life and you will know you’re on the right path. This isn’t elusive to a select few or impossible to achieve – our Energy is in each and every one of us waiting to be noticed and wanting to show us our true purpose.

Featured photo credit: unsplash.com via pexels.com

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Jenny Marchal

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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