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Don’t Want To Feel Lost Anymore? Find Your Life Purpose With This Indicator

Don’t Want To Feel Lost Anymore? Find Your Life Purpose With This Indicator

At some point, we all question what our purpose in life is. We can sometimes spend years contemplating and losing time over what we should be doing in life, what we really enjoy, and how to utilise these into a path that brings wealth and happiness in equal abundance.

Those that seem to have found their purpose are deemed the ‘lucky ones’ – those select few who managed to figure it all out early and pursued their dreams with clarity and success. Yet you’ve reached a point in your life where you just don’t feel satisfied anymore and no matter how much you think about what you want to do, you can’t reach a conclusion on how to find your life purpose.

What if I told you the answer to your question isn’t a philosophical or mind-taxing process? What if I said the answer to your question has been with you all along?

We can spend so long deliberating and frustrating ourselves; going around in circles and coming to no real conclusion all the while feeling that time is slipping away and life is passing us by. But the real answer is all in our Energy.

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Energy vs. energy

When I say Energy (with a capital E) I’m not talking about physical energy that we exert in our everyday tasks or the energy we get from drinking coffee or exercising. The Energy I’m referring to is flowing all around our body, it’s at the core of our being and present in every breath we take and it’s what makes each and every one of us unique.

So what has this got to do with figuring out how to find your life purpose? Simply put: if you’re aligned with your inner Energy then things feel easy and feel like they’re flowing; when you’re not aligned, things feel hard, frustrating and you feel deflated and unhappy. These are key signs to see whether or not you’re aligned with your inner-Energy.

We are all here to fulfill a purpose we were destined for, and to find it, you need to follow and listen to what your Energy is telling you and guiding you to do. When you do this, things seem effortless, easy and enjoyable no matter what it is. So if what you’re doing in life feels painful, frustrating, depressing, needlessly difficult or mentally exhausting, you may need to pay more attention to this as these negative feelings are an indicator given to you through your inner-Energy letting you know you aren’t on the right path.

How Do You Align With Your Energy?

You need to invest time in the activities and actions in life that gives you energy rather than drains you of it. Have you ever done something and felt completely in the flow of it? Two hours felt like two minutes and you felt a euphoric sense of achievement no matter what it was? This was when you were aligned with your Energy. We all have this amazing feedback system but most of us tend to ignore it – believing that pursuing hard, painful work is how we become successful and happy and anything easy and enjoyable won’t get us the money or happiness we really want.

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Write Down The Things In Life That Give You Energy

These are the things that you do in life that give you endless energy. That no matter how hard you work on it, if you stay up all night to do it, it will feel really good to you – when it feels ‘right’ and you just know all the work is worth it – this is when you’re aligned with your Energy.

You know that it’s not a matter of if the results will happen but rather when. 

So write down your strengths and what you love to do no matter how insignificant they seem to you. Perhaps get someone close to you to help you out as a lot of us can be quite blind to what we’re truly good at.

Write Down The Things In Life That Drain You Of Energy

We are so ingrained to believe that to succeed we need to have certain skills and attributes so we mould ourselves to fit the society-shaped hole that will bring us the money and success we want, dismissing our ultimate happiness and true path in the process. Whoever declared that you need to be business-minded to start your own business is wrong – there are thousands of people who have successful businesses that didn’t have a clue where to initially start. Whoever declared to be a good manager, you have to be a great leader is wrong – there are plenty of amazing managers who don’t have the best leadership skills.

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Be honest with yourself and stop pretending you like doing things that you actually hate doing deep down. We can’t be good at everything and that’s okay – once we accept this we can go on to follow our true path.

Write down all the activities you do in life (big and small) that don’t provide you with energy. What do you do that makes you think “what was the point?” What do you do a lot of in life that just feels difficult and hard or that you get no real sense of joy from?

Stay True To Your Inner-Energy

The key is to do more of what gives you energy and do less of what doesn’t. If it feels good to you, no matter what it is and no matter how hard you work, that is you aligning with that wonderful Energy.

Aligning with your Energy may not bring immediate results, it won’t necessarily make you perfect or super successful but it is making you happy and it’s taking you on the path to your full potential.

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Staying true to your inner-Energy and being guided by what feels good and what feels bad, will help you stay on track even when life throws you in the rubbish dump from time to time – you will be able to get back to what your life purpose is which is something that is continuous throughout your life. What feels good to you may even change and evolve as you go through life but listening to your inner-feelings is the key to the happiness and fulfillment you want.

When you find your purpose in life through aligning your Energy, you will naturally become a better version of yourself – you become a better husband, wife, mother, father, colleague, neighbour or friend. It will transcend throughout your life and you will know you’re on the right path. This isn’t elusive to a select few or impossible to achieve – our Energy is in each and every one of us waiting to be noticed and wanting to show us our true purpose.

Featured photo credit: unsplash.com via pexels.com

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Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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