“I think that, for most of us, there are times in life when it all just feels like Too Much.” – Therapist, Annie Wright
Life isn’t always easy. There may be times when you stumble and struggle through the day; times when you feel like you’ve had enough. Circumstances where you feel totally overwhelmed. Occasions when you feel sad, depressed, angry or even unloved.
Sometimes, there maybe no apparent reason for these feelings. Other times, they may stem from obvious reasons such as being heartbroken, suffering from anxiety or even a mental illness. It’s okay! We are only human after all. We feel. It’s a part of who we are.
When you feel that life is tough, here are 100 ways to calm yourself, restore the inner peace and make yourself happy. It’s often the simple things in life, that make all the difference.
#1 Be Generous. Give something to a total stranger. Acts of giving make us feel warm and fuzzy inside.
#2 Sit in a coffee shop or a busy street and soak up your surroundings. You don’t have to talk to people.
#3 On the flip side, if being around people is feeling too much for you. Go home. Relax.
#4 Practice self-love. Each day remind yourself that you are a strong, beautiful person, with a lot to offer.
#5 Educate yourself: research what it is you are experiencing. Arm yourself with knowledge and the resources to tackle the problems head on.
#6 Preparation: Write the day’s to-do list the evening before.
#7 Create a dream sanctuary; surround yourself with inspirational quotes and positivity. You can use your laptop and create a folder dedicated to this.
#8 Strengths: Write down a list of 20 of your strengths. [ good communicator, empathetic etc.]
#9 Keep going forward. Keep taking small steps, no matter what. Being stagnant doesn’t serve you. Are you looking to start a business? What steps can you take each day to make that dream a reality.
#10 Walk: Walking helps clear your mind. It offers you a different perspective.
#11 Indulge. Take a day off to spend a whole day doing exactly what you want. Eat what you want. Watch series. Go wild.
#12 Cry: Release all that emotion. You will feel better.
#13 Talk: Call or meet someone in person to chat about problems.
#14 Re-visit an old hobby. If you don’t have one, create one. Paint. Read. Sculpt. Gardening.
#15 Prioritize: Decide what’s important right now. Say no to extra obligations.
#16 Alleviate pressure: Reduce expectations of yourself and others.
#17 Sleep: Get enough rest. Sleep 7-9 hours each night.
#18 Nap: Give yourself a break. Afternoon naps have been shown to increase creativity.
#19 Help: Don’t be afraid to ask someone for help; friend, colleagues or a therapist. Maybe you are struggling emotionally. Maybe you need help with launching a business. Often we get caught up in what we are doing, we forget that help is just a phone call away.
#20 Be silly: Do something that you did as a child. Don’t take life too seriously.
#21 Surround yourself with beauty: Visit an art gallery. Re-instill beauty in your life.
#22 Restore your faith in humanity: Search the internet for inspiring stories.
#23 Surround yourself with positive people who can support you.
#24 Let your hair down: A night out in town might help you blow off some steam.
#25 Meditate: Learn to calm yourself.
#26 Hydrate: Don’t forget to drink enough water.
#27 Check your self-talk. Negative self-talk does not serve you.
#28 Change your self-talk to positive self-talk.
#29 Eat: Make sure you eat healthy foods; if possible,smaller portions.
#30 Watch a silly movie: This can be a welcome distraction.
#31 When you wake up, stretch like you did when you were young.
#32 Shower: A nice warm shower makes you feel good.
#33 If you feel something is wrong physiologically, schedule a meeting with your doctor.
#34 Cuddle: whether it’s your dog, cat, friend or partner. We are human. We require touch.
#35 Intense Exercise: running or even swimming. This will increase energy levels.
#36 Journal: Develop a habit of journaling. This will help free your mind.
#37 Small steps: If you feel overwhelmed by everything, break it all up into small actionable steps.
#38 Gratitude list: Write down a list of 20 things you can be grateful for.
#39 Accomplishments: Write down a list of 20 things you have accomplished so far.Advertising
#40 Remind yourself of the value you have to offer. We are often so good at something, that it becomes second nature. We don’t recognize that it’s something other people can’t easily do. Recognize that value.
#41 Write down the two most important things you want to complete each day.
#42 Wake up. Complete the two most important things. Then do other tasks.
#43 Clean your bedroom. De-cluttering your environment is magical.
#44 Relax: Lie in an open field and stare at the clouds.
#45 Read a good book. Get lost in another world.
#46 Take a break from social media, if it all feels too much.
#47 Avoid the comparison game. If you find yourself comparing yourself to others remind yourself (daily) that it’s not healthy.
#48 Pamper yourself. Go to the spa.
#49 Ask for reassurance from family and friends. Hearing ‘all will be fine’ is often all that is needed.
#50 Listen to your favorite music (not a love song, if you are heartbroken).
#51 Volunteer and give back to your community. Maybe a pet shelter?
#52 Find a safe place to scream and let it all out. Keeping emotions bottled up is not healthy. It creates stress and can cause anxiety.
#53 Eat foods that make you feel comfortable.
#54 Embrace silence. Go somewhere to be alone.
#55 Think about your dreams. Allow yourself to dream. Write down your dreams.
#56 Do simple coloring in books. Be like a child.
#57 Take a walk on the beach. The ocean is soothing.
#58 Mountains are strong and secure. Find them. Absorb them.
#59 If Self-help books overwhelm you. Read fiction instead.
#60 Get inspired. Watch inspiring videos on Youtube.
#61 Find those that have overcome what you are going through to restore inner strength.
#62 Get expert help (psychologist, doctor etc) if required. Ask family for help with this.
#63 You have won the lottery. Just being alive and being able to breathe is a privilege. Remind yourself of this each morning when you wake-up.
#64 Routines: When life is chaotic, establishing a routine provides stability.
#65 Embrace the sun. Soak it up. Go outdoors.
#66 10 min alignment exercise. Set a deep meaningful goal (e.g. being self-employed). Write down all the skills and abilities you have to achieve it now. Sit with those thoughts until you feel excited.
#67 Sit in silence and just breathe. In and out. Nice deep breaths.
#68 Seek out happy memories: go through photos of loved ones or even postcards from friends.
#69 Relax. Have a warm bath. Clear your mind.
#70 Invest in a miniature Zen Garden. Start by searching on the internet.
#71 Walk barefoot in the grass. This can be therapeutic.
#72 Bake bread. Enjoy the process. Absorb the comforting smells of your creation.
#73 Watch the sunrise, whilst sipping your favorite coffee. Get excited about the day that lies ahead.
#74 Watch the sunset, with a glass of wine. Recap on the day.
#75 Decorate your room or house. Make it look beautiful.
#76 Call your boss. Tell him you’re sick. Just take the day off to unwind from all the stress.
#77 Create a morning ritual that provides the needed support.
#78 Or (because everyone is different) you can develop an evening ritual instead.
#79 Switch off all devices an hour before you sleep for a good night’s rest.
#80 Help someone else with their problems. This can often be the best self-care.Advertising
#81 Watch a comedy show (live or on T.V.). Get yourself to laugh. Laughter, as they say, is often the best medicine.
#82 Dance. Dance on your own. Dance in your house. Dance wildly.
#83 Walk your dog and get exercise.
#84 Walk someone else’s dog and do them a favor in the process.
#85 Seek out new experiences. Do something you haven’t done before.
#86 Ideas. Start writing down all your ideas. Carry a notepad with you.
#87 Be spontaneous. Instill excitement into your life. For example, take a drive on the spur of the moment. If a friend calls you to do something, do it.
#88 Sign-up for the gym. Exercise helps clear your mind.
#89 Or exercise in the comfort of your home – you don’t have to spend lots of money to stay fit.
#90 Plan a short road trip with a friend to get away.
#91 Speak to a nutritionist to develop a food plan that can support you.
#92 Try yoga. It’s great for the body and the mind.
#93 Get rid of limiting beliefs that do not serve you. You may believe that you cannot do something, but is this really true? Consider what you can do right now to make it happen. Maybe you can ask for a friend’s advice to start?
#94 Use your senses. Buy some incense for your house.
#95 Love. Call someone (instead of texting). Tell them you love them.
#96 Listen to classical music. Get relaxed and improve your intelligence.
#97 Spoil yourself. Buy yourself presents – flowers or even a new dress.
#98 Sketch. Take out a notepad and start sketching. This can be therapeutic.
#99 Wake up and listen to inspirational podcasts to get you motivated.
#100 Remind yourself that life is a journey. Remember that what you are going through is temporary, It will pass.
Last Updated on January 16, 2020
12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now
The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.
However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.
“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous
Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.
1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.
When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.
Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success. As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’
2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).
That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”
Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.
3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.
If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.
For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.
People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.
This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.
4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.
Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.
Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!
Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.
Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
5. Crack a smile.
If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.
Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?
6. Break a sweat—with exercise.
Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.
And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.
7. Groom yourself.
This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.
A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.
8. Dress nicely.
Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.
While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.
9. Do activities you enjoy.
Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.
You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.
10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.
Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.
Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.
Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.
Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.
11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.
Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?
Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.
12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!
Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.
The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.
Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com
|||^||Psychology Today: Seeing Is Believing: The Power of Visualization|
|||^||Association of Psychological Science: Grin and Bear It! Smiling Facilitates Stress Recovery|
|||^||Science Daily: Want a better work-life balance? Exercise, study finds|
|||^||The New York Times: The Right Stance Can Be Reassuring|