“I think that, for most of us, there are times in life when it all just feels like Too Much.” – Therapist, Annie Wright
Life isn’t always easy. There may be times when you stumble and struggle through the day; times when you feel like you’ve had enough. Circumstances where you feel totally overwhelmed. Occasions when you feel sad, depressed, angry or even unloved.
Sometimes, there maybe no apparent reason for these feelings. Other times, they may stem from obvious reasons such as being heartbroken, suffering from anxiety or even a mental illness. It’s okay! We are only human after all. We feel. It’s a part of who we are.
When you feel that life is tough, here are 100 ways to calm yourself, restore the inner peace and make yourself happy. It’s often the simple things in life, that make all the difference.
#1 Be Generous. Give something to a total stranger. Acts of giving make us feel warm and fuzzy inside.
#2 Sit in a coffee shop or a busy street and soak up your surroundings. You don’t have to talk to people.
#3 On the flip side, if being around people is feeling too much for you. Go home. Relax.
#4 Practice self-love. Each day remind yourself that you are a strong, beautiful person, with a lot to offer.
#5 Educate yourself: research what it is you are experiencing. Arm yourself with knowledge and the resources to tackle the problems head on.
#6 Preparation: Write the day’s to-do list the evening before.
#7 Create a dream sanctuary; surround yourself with inspirational quotes and positivity. You can use your laptop and create a folder dedicated to this.
#8 Strengths: Write down a list of 20 of your strengths. [ good communicator, empathetic etc.]
#9 Keep going forward. Keep taking small steps, no matter what. Being stagnant doesn’t serve you. Are you looking to start a business? What steps can you take each day to make that dream a reality.
#10 Walk: Walking helps clear your mind. It offers you a different perspective.
#11 Indulge. Take a day off to spend a whole day doing exactly what you want. Eat what you want. Watch series. Go wild.
#12 Cry: Release all that emotion. You will feel better.
#13 Talk: Call or meet someone in person to chat about problems.
#14 Re-visit an old hobby. If you don’t have one, create one. Paint. Read. Sculpt. Gardening.
#15 Prioritize: Decide what’s important right now. Say no to extra obligations.
#16 Alleviate pressure: Reduce expectations of yourself and others.
#17 Sleep: Get enough rest. Sleep 7-9 hours each night.
#18 Nap: Give yourself a break. Afternoon naps have been shown to increase creativity.
#19 Help: Don’t be afraid to ask someone for help; friend, colleagues or a therapist. Maybe you are struggling emotionally. Maybe you need help with launching a business. Often we get caught up in what we are doing, we forget that help is just a phone call away.
#20 Be silly: Do something that you did as a child. Don’t take life too seriously.
#21 Surround yourself with beauty: Visit an art gallery. Re-instill beauty in your life.
#22 Restore your faith in humanity: Search the internet for inspiring stories.
#23 Surround yourself with positive people who can support you.
#24 Let your hair down: A night out in town might help you blow off some steam.
#25 Meditate: Learn to calm yourself.
#26 Hydrate: Don’t forget to drink enough water.
#27 Check your self-talk. Negative self-talk does not serve you.
#28 Change your self-talk to positive self-talk.
#29 Eat: Make sure you eat healthy foods; if possible,smaller portions.
#30 Watch a silly movie: This can be a welcome distraction.
#31 When you wake up, stretch like you did when you were young.
#32 Shower: A nice warm shower makes you feel good.
#33 If you feel something is wrong physiologically, schedule a meeting with your doctor.
#34 Cuddle: whether it’s your dog, cat, friend or partner. We are human. We require touch.
#35 Intense Exercise: running or even swimming. This will increase energy levels.
#36 Journal: Develop a habit of journaling. This will help free your mind.
#37 Small steps: If you feel overwhelmed by everything, break it all up into small actionable steps.
#38 Gratitude list: Write down a list of 20 things you can be grateful for.
#39 Accomplishments: Write down a list of 20 things you have accomplished so far.Advertising
#40 Remind yourself of the value you have to offer. We are often so good at something, that it becomes second nature. We don’t recognize that it’s something other people can’t easily do. Recognize that value.
#41 Write down the two most important things you want to complete each day.
#42 Wake up. Complete the two most important things. Then do other tasks.
#43 Clean your bedroom. De-cluttering your environment is magical.
#44 Relax: Lie in an open field and stare at the clouds.
#45 Read a good book. Get lost in another world.
#46 Take a break from social media, if it all feels too much.
#47 Avoid the comparison game. If you find yourself comparing yourself to others remind yourself (daily) that it’s not healthy.
#48 Pamper yourself. Go to the spa.
#49 Ask for reassurance from family and friends. Hearing ‘all will be fine’ is often all that is needed.
#50 Listen to your favorite music (not a love song, if you are heartbroken).
#51 Volunteer and give back to your community. Maybe a pet shelter?
#52 Find a safe place to scream and let it all out. Keeping emotions bottled up is not healthy. It creates stress and can cause anxiety.
#53 Eat foods that make you feel comfortable.
#54 Embrace silence. Go somewhere to be alone.
#55 Think about your dreams. Allow yourself to dream. Write down your dreams.
#56 Do simple coloring in books. Be like a child.
#57 Take a walk on the beach. The ocean is soothing.
#58 Mountains are strong and secure. Find them. Absorb them.
#59 If Self-help books overwhelm you. Read fiction instead.
#60 Get inspired. Watch inspiring videos on Youtube.
#61 Find those that have overcome what you are going through to restore inner strength.
#62 Get expert help (psychologist, doctor etc) if required. Ask family for help with this.
#63 You have won the lottery. Just being alive and being able to breathe is a privilege. Remind yourself of this each morning when you wake-up.
#64 Routines: When life is chaotic, establishing a routine provides stability.
#65 Embrace the sun. Soak it up. Go outdoors.
#66 10 min alignment exercise. Set a deep meaningful goal (e.g. being self-employed). Write down all the skills and abilities you have to achieve it now. Sit with those thoughts until you feel excited.
#67 Sit in silence and just breathe. In and out. Nice deep breaths.
#68 Seek out happy memories: go through photos of loved ones or even postcards from friends.
#69 Relax. Have a warm bath. Clear your mind.
#70 Invest in a miniature Zen Garden. Start by searching on the internet.
#71 Walk barefoot in the grass. This can be therapeutic.
#72 Bake bread. Enjoy the process. Absorb the comforting smells of your creation.
#73 Watch the sunrise, whilst sipping your favorite coffee. Get excited about the day that lies ahead.
#74 Watch the sunset, with a glass of wine. Recap on the day.
#75 Decorate your room or house. Make it look beautiful.
#76 Call your boss. Tell him you’re sick. Just take the day off to unwind from all the stress.
#77 Create a morning ritual that provides the needed support.
#78 Or (because everyone is different) you can develop an evening ritual instead.
#79 Switch off all devices an hour before you sleep for a good night’s rest.
#80 Help someone else with their problems. This can often be the best self-care.Advertising
#81 Watch a comedy show (live or on T.V.). Get yourself to laugh. Laughter, as they say, is often the best medicine.
#82 Dance. Dance on your own. Dance in your house. Dance wildly.
#83 Walk your dog and get exercise.
#84 Walk someone else’s dog and do them a favor in the process.
#85 Seek out new experiences. Do something you haven’t done before.
#86 Ideas. Start writing down all your ideas. Carry a notepad with you.
#87 Be spontaneous. Instill excitement into your life. For example, take a drive on the spur of the moment. If a friend calls you to do something, do it.
#88 Sign-up for the gym. Exercise helps clear your mind.
#89 Or exercise in the comfort of your home – you don’t have to spend lots of money to stay fit.
#90 Plan a short road trip with a friend to get away.
#91 Speak to a nutritionist to develop a food plan that can support you.
#92 Try yoga. It’s great for the body and the mind.
#93 Get rid of limiting beliefs that do not serve you. You may believe that you cannot do something, but is this really true? Consider what you can do right now to make it happen. Maybe you can ask for a friend’s advice to start?
#94 Use your senses. Buy some incense for your house.
#95 Love. Call someone (instead of texting). Tell them you love them.
#96 Listen to classical music. Get relaxed and improve your intelligence.
#97 Spoil yourself. Buy yourself presents – flowers or even a new dress.
#98 Sketch. Take out a notepad and start sketching. This can be therapeutic.
#99 Wake up and listen to inspirational podcasts to get you motivated.
#100 Remind yourself that life is a journey. Remember that what you are going through is temporary, It will pass.
Last Updated on August 19, 2019
How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want
We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.
When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.
In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.
Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.
If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.
According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.” Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.
No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.
When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.
Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.
1. Embrace Your Vulnerability
When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.
Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.
When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.
Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.
In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.
It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.
You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone.
Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.
What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?
You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.
That’s where we all should be.
So, answer me this:
How are you, really?
And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.
Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.
Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.
Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)
Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.
It’s taking control.
2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity
You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by being true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.
You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.
In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.
Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.
You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…
Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’ When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.
But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?
It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.
In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You
It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again, and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.
Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:
Change will happen.
Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.
You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.
And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.
You can choose to have a positive attitude, seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?
That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.
You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.
When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you.
There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.
3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking
Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.
In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.
If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s like you rise twice.
Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.
Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable. It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved. It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.
How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?
Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.
“Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.
Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.
Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.
It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.
Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence,
“If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”
What would you do if you felt you were enough?
By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.
So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.
By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.
Being true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.
When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.
You will find that making decisions based on what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!
More About Living Your True Self
- Do You Want to Know the Secret to Living a Fulfilling Life?
- How To Be True To You When Life Pulls You Off Track
- How to Find the Purpose of Life and Start Living a Fulfilling Life
- How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up
Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com
|||^||Svend Brinkman : Happiness Has Become an Emotional Burden|
|||^||Clayton Barbeau: Shoulding Yourself, Shoulding Others|
|||^||Meagan O’Reilly: A Stanford Psychologist Says Feeling You’re No Enough Rips These 5 Things Away From You|