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8 Ways to Gain Better Control of Your Life

8 Ways to Gain Better Control of Your Life

As we grow up, we begin to develop our ambitions, and we set new goals for ourselves. While we are kids and teenagers, we only compromise between what our parents want us to do and what we want to do. Sometimes these plans align with each other, and sometimes they don’t. The point is that, during our development, we pursue goals set for us by our authority figures, and once we achieve them, or when we finish high school, all that is left is the pursuit of our own individual goals, and all we have is our internal motivation.

Achieving personal goals feels great. However, failing to achieve them can deal a massive blow to our egos. After all, this failure is personal, and it often makes us question our own convictions. Of course, every life is filled with failures: some are not too severe, and some are valuable lessons, but failures make us feel weak, powerless, and demotivated.

When things don’t go as we planned, we start to experience this lack of control, and that is truly depressing. It affects how we behave; it prevents us from being happy, and we feel stressed out as a result of all the self-doubt we are experiencing. Luckily, these problems are not beyond solution, and you can conquer this weakness one step at a time.

1. Learn to accept yourself and give yourself some more credit.

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    You need to know that every trait you possess can be viewed from both a negative and a positive perspective. If you consider yourself to be determined, and if you do not give up easily, other people might perceive this trait as stubbornness. If you are ambitious, others might call you greedy, whereas if you are humble, they might say that you lack ambition.

    Also, if you are cautious, some might perceive that trait as minor paranoia or cowardice. Basically, it all depends on the context and situation in which you displayed your personal traits. It also depends on your environment, i.e. whether it is willing to reward those traits or to suppress them.

    It’s a truth as old as humanity itself: we have our own vision of ourselves, while others have a different perception, and the truth is somewhere in between. In other words, do not take criticism too seriously, and do not be self-absorbed all the time; just learn to accept yourself, and only work on the flaws that you truly wish to eliminate.

    Abandon the notion that you can become someone that everybody will admire, and focus on being someone you would admire. If you try to impress everyone, you’ll end up forsaking yourself and, as mentioned, these personal failures are far more disappointing.

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    2. Learn how to handle your finances.

    Another reason why we might feel stressed out and powerless is when we have trouble handling our finances. When you start to live your own life, there are unexpected expenses that pop up each month, and since these expenses can easily lead to debt, you need to think ahead and save money for those occasions. Whether we want to admit it or not, money is also a form of power, and without it, we feel less secure and less confident.

    If you are stressed out because of your finances, there are two solutions. You can see what you can do to earn more money; you can ask for a higher paycheck at work, and see what the requirements are; or, you can simply learn how to redistribute your spending budget. Sit down and calculate how much money you need to pay the bills, and then see how much money you have left and create your daily budget based on that number.

    See how much you can spare on a daily basis, and come up with a tactic to do so. For example, there are tons of incentive programs that can help you save money, and you can get coupons or vouchers to trim down the price.

    You can also get better prices if you shop online, or simply look for used items that don’t need to be brand new in order to properly function. Additionally, you can also sell your items online, or organize yard sales to get rid of what you are no longer using and to earn some extra money along the way.

    Once you accumulate enough extra money this way, put it in a savings account so that it can grow. Again, do not put all of your money into a savings account because you’ll need some extra cash for unexpected house repairs if something starts to malfunction.

    3. Know where you stand.

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      We are still on the subject of money here, and it goes without saying that your worth is not based on how much you earn. Also it’s wrong to assume that everyone will measure you based on how much you earn, but still, money is a form of reward system and something that serves as tangible proof of how much your skill and knowledge is valued. So, when you feel the lack of control, it’s good to focus on something that can be measured and that you can track in order to restore confidence.

      This is not a very common practice, but I feel it can be very useful. You can now calculate your net worth, and know exactly where you stand on an average scale. Of course, this does not mean that you are more or less successful than someone else, since we know that people can be born into privilege and thereby already have an advantage on this scale.

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      However, when you know where you stand, you can have a starting point for yourself, and work on improving; it’s like advancing in a video game and gaining higher levels. Basically, you start to work on improving and increasing your net worth, and having a clear overview of your success rate can reward you with a sense of achievement.

      If you feel bad for focusing so much on earning money, you can always donate and help those less fortunate. I am just saying that it is a good way to have tangible proof of the progress in a positive direction. So, you do not do this in order to compete with others, nor to prove to others how much you are worth; you simply do it to convince yourself that you have control over your progress.

      It also doesn’t have to be connected to your net worth; if you love agriculture, you can look to improve the size of your fields or the quality of your plants. It just needs to be something that is valued globally.

      4. Add more organization to your life.

      When you feel a lack of control over your life, then you can combat it with a grain of OCD. Start to organize everything you can. It was already mentioned how you can organize your finances and how to earn money by selling things you don’t use. However, you can take this a step further and reorganize your home and daily schedule.

      The main reasons why this is useful is because you’ll feel a lot better when you are in a well-organized environment, and unexpected problems and obligations are less likely to sneak up on you when you monitor things more adequately.

      You can clear the bins and label your cabinets and jars; you can have a mail-organizing cabinet and a tool that can also organize your emails; you can use a work planner to write down everything important, or download an app that can do the same.

      Basically, you keep track of your items and obligations more diligently, as that can provide you with the necessary serenity that can keep the stress at bay, and give you more control over your responsibilities. Besides, it feels really good when you are keeping track of your tasks, just crossing them off your list.

      Of course, if trying to be too organized is just another source of stress, then simply tone it down. Don’t write down everything or don’t label everything; basically add the amount of control you feel comfortable with, and see how it works. If you find something unnecessary, then there’s no need to give it much attention.

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      One thing is certain though: you will feel so much better if your entire living space is neatly organized and if everything feels in its place. Plus, you’ll be motivated to maintain that order, since you worked hard on building it.

      5. Exercise.

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        Exercise is useful for numerous reasons. First, it’s a good way to cope with stress. Second, your body will produce more energy as you advance, and the things that used to be stressful and tiring won’t seem so difficult. Third, it’s good for your health and mood. Fourth, it will help you build up your confidence, since you’ll look better and, again, progress and achievements are good positive boosts for our psyche.

        The only problem with this is that you might not have enough time to seriously devote yourself to exercise. However, you are not trying to become a professional weight lifter, athlete or fighter; all you need is a moderate dose of physical workout in order to look good, feel good, and be satisfied with yourself.

        There are quality workout regimes online that you can try out, and you can find a nutritionist to prescribe a good diet to boost the efficiency of your training. The best thing about this is that there are programs that do not require weights; you can exercise at home and still get satisfying results.

        If you are unwilling to start exercising because it will leave you with a lot of pain for the next couple of days, then you can gradually add more physical activities into your schedule before you start working out. You can start with walking to work or riding a bike, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, drinking more water, etc. You can also start with a 20-minute yoga session in the morning and before sleep, which should prepare you for your workout in the future.

        6. Follow a healthier diet.

        In addition to exercise, you’ll need to have a healthier diet. As mentioned, you can find a nutritionist to give you a diet, and you can start preparing your own food more frequently. It’s a sort of a self-improvement technique, where you start to learn to cook different meals. Additionally, when you prepare your own food, you will save more money, which is also a good thing. So, it’s not directly connected to gaining better control of your life like the previous tips, but it goes well with your lifestyle in general.

        7. Work on self-improvement.

        Self-improvement can imply a lot of things. It can mean a change in your governing philosophy, or acquiring new skills, or simply changing your lifestyle for the better. So far, everything mentioned here was a form of self-improvement, and all that remains is that you work on your competence. You can try and do better at work, or you can start to learn other skills that can help you with house maintenance.

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        You don’t need to spend money on this, since you can find online tutorials and start learning this way. As you improve, you will start to fix things on your own; you will start to feel that you have greater control of your life, and you will be proud of yourself. You can train yourself to become a good craftsman, which is fulfilling, and it can help you earn some extra cash on the side.

        8. Learn to rely less on other people.

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          Lastly, the less you rely on others to solve your problems, the more powerful you will feel. It’s all right to ask for help, and you don’t have to do everything on your own, but if you aren’t able to solve problems without relying on others, then you will be frustrated.

          This is why self-improvement is important, because when you are self-sufficient, you feel more liberated and less pressured. Furthermore, with more skills at your disposal, you can even help others, and people will start to appreciate you more. Besides, when you are helpful, you will feel better.

          So, know that you are capable of many things, know that you do not need to rely on others, but also, do not refuse or shy away from asking for help. The whole point of this is to make your life easier and to gain more control over it — not to embrace unnecessary struggles.

          Featured photo credit: https://pixabay.com/en/users/Unsplash-242387/ via pixabay.com

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          Djordje Todorovic

          Blogger, Gamer Extraordinaire

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          Published on November 20, 2018

          The Best Ways to Save Money Even Impulsive Spenders Can Get Behind

          The Best Ways to Save Money Even Impulsive Spenders Can Get Behind

          The truth is, there are many “money saving guides” online, but most don’t cover the root issue for not saving.

          Once I’d discovered a few key factors that allowed me to save 10k in one year, I realized why most articles couldn’t help me. The problem is that even with the right strategies you can still fail to save money. You need to have the right systems in place and the right mindset.

          In this guide, I’ll cover the best ways to save money — practical yet powerful steps you can take to start saving more. It won’t be easy but with hard work, I’m confident you’ll be able to save more money–even if you’re an impulsive spender.

          Why Your Past Prevents You from Saving Money

          Are you constantly thinking about your financial mistakes?

          If so, these thoughts are holding you back from saving.

          I get it, you wish you could go back in time to avoid your financial downfalls. But dwelling over your past will only rob you from your future. Instead, reflect on your mistakes and ask yourself what lessons you can learn from them.

          It wasn’t easy for me to accept that I had accumulated thousands of dollars in credit card debt. Once I did, I started heading in the right direction. Embrace your past failures and use them as an opportunity to set new financial goals.

          For example, after accepting that you’re thousands of dollars in debt create a plan to be debt free in a year or two. This way when you’ll be at peace even when you get negative thoughts about your finances. Now you can focus more time on saving and less on your past financial mistakes.

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          How to Effortlessly Track Your Spending

          Stop manually tracking your spending.

          Leverage powerful analytic tools such as Personal Capital and these money management apps to do the work for you. This tool has worked for me and has kept me motivated to why I’m saving in the first place. Once you login to your Personal Capital dashboard, you’re able to view your net worth.

          When I’d first signed up with Personal Capital, I had a negative net worth, but this motivated me to save more. With this tool, you can also view your spending patterns, expenses, and how much money you’re saving.

          Use your net worth as your north star to saving more. Whenever you experience financial setbacks, view how far you’ve come along. Saving money is only half the battle, being consistent is the other half.

          The Truth on Why You Keep Failing

          Saving money isn’t sexy. If it was, wouldn’t everyone be doing it?

          Some people are natural savers, but most are impulsive spenders. Instead of denying that you’re an impulsive spender, embrace it.

          Don’t try to save 60 to 70% of your income if this means you’ll live a miserable life. Saving money isn’t a race but a marathon. You’re saving for retirement and for large purchases.

          If you’re currently having a hard time saving, start spending more money on nice things. This may sound counterintuitive but hear me out. Wouldn’t it be better to save $200 each month for 12 months instead of $500 for 3 months?

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          Most people run into trouble because they create budgets that set them up for failure. This system won’t work for those who are frugal, but chances are they don’t need help saving. This system is for those who can’t save money and need to be rewarded for their hard work.

          Only because you’re buying nice things doesn’t mean that you’ll save less. Here are some rules you should have in place:

          1. Save more than 50% of your available money (after expenses)
          2. Only buy nice things after saving
          3. Automate your savings with automatic bank transfers

          These are the same rules that helped me save thousands each year while buying the latest iPhone. Focus only on items that are important to you. Remember, you can afford anything but not everything.

          How to Foolproof Yourself out of Debt

          Personal finance is a game. On one end, you’re earning money; and on the to other, you’re saving. But what ends up counting in the end isn’t how much you earn but how much you save. Research shows that about 60% of Americans spend more than they save.[1]

          So how can you separate yourself from the 60%?

          By not accumulating more debt. This way you’ll have more money to save and avoid having more financial obligations. A great way to stop accumulating debt is using cash to pay for all your transactions.

          This will be challenging, depending on how reliant you are with your credit card, but it’s worth the effort. Not only will you stop accruing debt, but you’ll also be more conscious with what you buy.

          For example, you’ll think twice about purchasing a new $200 headphone despite having the cash to buy them. According to a poll conducted by The CreditCards.com, 5 out of 6 Americans are impulsive spenders.[2]

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          Telling yourself that you’ll have the discipline to not buy things won’t cut it. This is equal to having junk food in your fridge while trying to eat healthy–it’s only a matter of time before you slip. By using cash to make your purchases, you’ll spend less and save more.

          A Proven Formula to Skyrocket Your Savings

          Having proven systems in place to help you save more is important, but they’re not the best way to save money.

          You can search for dozens of ways to save money, but there’ll always be a limit. Instead of spending the majority of your effort saving, look for ways to increase your income. The truth is that once you have the right systems in place, saving is easy.

          What’s challenging is earning more money. There are many routes you can take to achieve this. For example, you can work long and hard at your current job to earn a raise. But there’s one problem–you’re depending on someone else to give you a raise.

          Your company will have to have the budget, and you’ll have to know how to toot your own horn to get this raise. This isn’t to say that earning a raise is impossible, but things are better when you’re in control right? That’s why building a side-hustle is the best way to increase your income.

          Think of your side-hustle as a part-time job doing something you enjoy. You can sell items on eBay for a profit, or design websites for small businesses. Building a side-hustle will be on the hardest things you’ll do, be too stubborn to quit.

          During the early stages, you won’t be making money and that’s okay. Since you already have a source of income, you won’t be dependent on your side-hustle to pay for your expenses. Depending on how much time you invest in your side-hustle, it can one day replace your current income.

          Whatever route you take, focus more on earning and save as much as possible. You have more control than you give yourself credit for.

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          Transform Yourself into a Saving Money Machine

          Saving money isn’t complicated but it’s one of the hardest things you’ll do.

          By learning from your mistakes and rewarding yourself after saving you’ll save more. What would you do with an extra $200 or $500 each month? To some, this is life-changing money that can improve the quality of their lives.

          The truth is saving money is an art. Save too much and you’ll quit, but save too little and you’ll pay for the consequences in the future. Saving money takes effort and having the right systems in place.

          Imagine if you’d started saving an extra $100 this next month? Or, saved $20K in one year? Although it’s hard to imagine, this can be your reality if you follow the principles covered in this guide.

          Take a moment to brainstorm which goals you’d be able to reach if you had extra money each month. Use these goals as motivation to help you stay on track on your journey to saving more. If I was able to save thousands of dollars with little guidance, imagine what you’ll be able to do.

          What are you waiting for? Go and start saving money, the sky is your limit.

          Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

          Reference

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