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Why Women In Their 30’s Are Extremely Attractive

Why Women In Their 30’s Are Extremely Attractive

There are so many factors that separate the 20’s from the 30’s. Though not as commonly spoken about, there are rites of passage for women growing into their 30’s. The beauty you exude comes from something far beneath the surface. Only those who can get to that depth will truly reach you. Getting fully grounded in your power and wielding it with every swing of your hips is no easy feat.

You say ‘yes’ to saying ‘no’

You’ve learned by now that you accomplish more when you say no more often. Keeping in shape for example, means saying no to other activities that interfere with workout time.

You’re not the grinch, you just have a better understanding of what is suitable for you. You also have your own tastes, and you definitely know the kind of flavor of life you’d like to keep. Opinions? You certainly have your own.

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You’ve reached full self-acceptance, and expect the same from others

You know who you are, and have accepted what you like. Others will have to do the same if they’re going to truly appreciate you. Unlike when you were in your 20’s, now you know the cost of associating yourself with energy-draining vampires. You now know there is nothing beneficial about having a person around who does not value you as much as you value yourself.

You only spend your time with people who can respect the true value of themselves. In return, others enjoy spending time with you because they know the depth at which they are appreciated. This doesn’t mean you enjoy being around people who respect you simply for your external actions, you want to be around people who value the inherent worth.

You don’t panic when disaster strikes

Something’s gone wrong. You’ve experienced this before. When challenges come up, you’re somehow stronger than you used to be. It has required much emotional weight lifting to get to your 30’s. You’re more prepared to take a course of action in times of stress.

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Perhaps because you’re more assured in your decision making skills, you now have the strength to reflect on the times you were under extreme stress and handled things poorly, without really going there emotionally.

You’re healthy, and aging like a sexy bottle of Sangiovese

You’ve been wise enough to add to your storehouse of knowledge as you’ve gotten older. There are benefits to knowing yourself intimately.

You know how much sleep you need, etc. Sugar, salt, and fat get a watchful eye from you now.

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Reaching this far in life is due in part to giving yourself proper emotional care and mental stimulation. The third decade of life beckons you to learn what feeds your soul and put more focus there.

You aim for legendary style, trends suck

If anything, a trend catches your eye because it’s happened before, not because you’re waiting for the next bandwagon to jump on. Trends amuse you. For example, at the root of fashion is a desire to outwardly express the personality.

Trends are layered on top for people to find a subcategory, a home for your personality and you don’t need that. Your trends are self-created and you go through phases of experimenting with who you are.

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You actually learn what you should from your mistakes

For the most part, gone are the days when you kept making mistakes, never really learning anything from them. Now, you definitely learn as much as you can from every experience. You’ve gained a certain level of self awareness and awareness of your environment.

You leverage your strength over weakness and reduce doubt

Successful accomplishments were achieved because you made a choice. At some point there was a shift, you became reward based, and adopted the “what if everything goes right?” mentality. Doubt is crippling and paralyzing. It’s not that you never doubt yourself, you just don’t allow the feeling to linger long. Feelings give your thoughts momentum, and you can’t afford for doubt to roll into a snowball. It’s not about conditioning your weaknesses away, it’s about conditioning your positive thoughts to kick in and take over.

The subtle yet impactful changes that you experience in your 30’s solidify you. But you maintain your flexibility. Things do get better as you age, only because you demand so. Pain is easier to deal with, and the nectar of life is so much sweeter. You’ve found that though it requires more focus and power, it’s very much worth it to create the tide instead of riding it.

Finally, relationships are so much more fruitful because you know yourself and you’re not afraid to say no. You’re not afraid to say yes either, when you have to dig deep and summon a strength you have never known. Watching an exotic flower grow into full bloom is nothing less than stunning… and that’s why you’re attractive.

Featured photo credit: tvtropes.org via skyrotinews.com

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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