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Why Women In Their 30’s Are Extremely Attractive

Why Women In Their 30’s Are Extremely Attractive

There are so many factors that separate the 20’s from the 30’s. Though not as commonly spoken about, there are rites of passage for women growing into their 30’s. The beauty you exude comes from something far beneath the surface. Only those who can get to that depth will truly reach you. Getting fully grounded in your power and wielding it with every swing of your hips is no easy feat.

You say ‘yes’ to saying ‘no’

You’ve learned by now that you accomplish more when you say no more often. Keeping in shape for example, means saying no to other activities that interfere with workout time.

You’re not the grinch, you just have a better understanding of what is suitable for you. You also have your own tastes, and you definitely know the kind of flavor of life you’d like to keep. Opinions? You certainly have your own.

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You’ve reached full self-acceptance, and expect the same from others

You know who you are, and have accepted what you like. Others will have to do the same if they’re going to truly appreciate you. Unlike when you were in your 20’s, now you know the cost of associating yourself with energy-draining vampires. You now know there is nothing beneficial about having a person around who does not value you as much as you value yourself.

You only spend your time with people who can respect the true value of themselves. In return, others enjoy spending time with you because they know the depth at which they are appreciated. This doesn’t mean you enjoy being around people who respect you simply for your external actions, you want to be around people who value the inherent worth.

You don’t panic when disaster strikes

Something’s gone wrong. You’ve experienced this before. When challenges come up, you’re somehow stronger than you used to be. It has required much emotional weight lifting to get to your 30’s. You’re more prepared to take a course of action in times of stress.

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Perhaps because you’re more assured in your decision making skills, you now have the strength to reflect on the times you were under extreme stress and handled things poorly, without really going there emotionally.

You’re healthy, and aging like a sexy bottle of Sangiovese

You’ve been wise enough to add to your storehouse of knowledge as you’ve gotten older. There are benefits to knowing yourself intimately.

You know how much sleep you need, etc. Sugar, salt, and fat get a watchful eye from you now.

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Reaching this far in life is due in part to giving yourself proper emotional care and mental stimulation. The third decade of life beckons you to learn what feeds your soul and put more focus there.

You aim for legendary style, trends suck

If anything, a trend catches your eye because it’s happened before, not because you’re waiting for the next bandwagon to jump on. Trends amuse you. For example, at the root of fashion is a desire to outwardly express the personality.

Trends are layered on top for people to find a subcategory, a home for your personality and you don’t need that. Your trends are self-created and you go through phases of experimenting with who you are.

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You actually learn what you should from your mistakes

For the most part, gone are the days when you kept making mistakes, never really learning anything from them. Now, you definitely learn as much as you can from every experience. You’ve gained a certain level of self awareness and awareness of your environment.

You leverage your strength over weakness and reduce doubt

Successful accomplishments were achieved because you made a choice. At some point there was a shift, you became reward based, and adopted the “what if everything goes right?” mentality. Doubt is crippling and paralyzing. It’s not that you never doubt yourself, you just don’t allow the feeling to linger long. Feelings give your thoughts momentum, and you can’t afford for doubt to roll into a snowball. It’s not about conditioning your weaknesses away, it’s about conditioning your positive thoughts to kick in and take over.

The subtle yet impactful changes that you experience in your 30’s solidify you. But you maintain your flexibility. Things do get better as you age, only because you demand so. Pain is easier to deal with, and the nectar of life is so much sweeter. You’ve found that though it requires more focus and power, it’s very much worth it to create the tide instead of riding it.

Finally, relationships are so much more fruitful because you know yourself and you’re not afraid to say no. You’re not afraid to say yes either, when you have to dig deep and summon a strength you have never known. Watching an exotic flower grow into full bloom is nothing less than stunning… and that’s why you’re attractive.

Featured photo credit: tvtropes.org via skyrotinews.com

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

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