Advertising
Advertising

How Your Texting Habit Reveals Your Personality

How Your Texting Habit Reveals Your Personality

What do your texting habits reveal about you?

A recent study analyzed the effects of texting on satisfaction in romantic relationships, with a specific focus on the role of attachment style.

Attachment theory originates from John Bowlby, and later Mary Aimsworth. It has its origins in analyzing the mother and child relationship. Through observing a child’s behavior in different situations, Bowlby and Aimsworth got an idea of how the child attached themselves to their mothers.

Three types of attachment were identified

  1. Secure attachment: The child would be mildly anxious when the mother left, would avoid the stranger, and be friendly to the stranger once the mother returned.
  2. Insecure attachment: The child was distressed when the mother left.
  3. Avoidant attachment: The child was not distressed at all.

These were later applied to adults in a variety of studies. The texting in relationship study surveyed people who identified themselves as being in a romantic relationship. 395 students were surveyed (175 male and 220 female). All were over 19 years of age, and the average relationship length was 15 months.

The study aimed to determine two things

1. How individuals communicated (via text or other means).
2. What the relationship was between attachment style and texting habits.

Advertising

How individuals communicated

Texting habits and other forms of communication (such as e-mail, internet chat, Skype, and face-to-face communication) were analyzed.

“While some partners virtually never communicated via text, others sent as many as 500 texts a day to their partner, which accounted for more than 90% of their communication.”

The relationship between attachment style and texting habits

Advertising

Participants were placed in one of three categories identified earlier (this is adapted as it relates to adults):

  1. Secure attachment style: People have a strong self-image, are secure, can enter into a committed relationship, and do not require constant re-assurance.
  2. Insecure attachment style: Their self-image is not healthy. They are insecure, requiring constant reassurance and experiencing anxiety when separated from loved ones.
  3. Avoidant attachment style: Individuals are highly independent, often seeking control and preferring emotional distance.

Those who were categorized under the avoidant and insecure attachment styles (based on their personality) texted significantly more than those classified under the secure attachment style.

What were the reasons for this and what are common examples in everyday life?

Texting regularly as part of the insecure attachment style.

Individuals falling under the insecure category text more regularly due to fears of  abandonment, insecurity, as well as their constant desire and need for re-assurance. Quite simply, they need to be loved. Whilst it is recognized that texting is less intimate than a face-to-face meeting, it reduces the individuals anxiety of not being close to their partner and provides them with needed reassurance and comfort.

Advertising

A common example includes a partner who constantly texts you when you are on a weekend away with friends. They seek reassurance that you love them and want to remind you that they still love you.

Being separated (due to working in a different location, for example) will also cause a constant stream of messaging throughout the day to restore comfort.

Texting regularly as part of the avoidance category.

For those classified under the avoidance category, texting more regularly provides a means to maintain emotional distance and control over how often texting occurs. Remember, emotional distance and control are distinctive traits of the individual falling under this category.

Advertising

Using the previous example of a weekend away with friends, this kind of individual will also text more regularly, but for different reasons. They will want to know what you are doing and who you are going with. Knowing this makes them feel in control even when there is a distance between you.

Considering that emotional distance is a trait, they will struggle to express themselves face-to-face. As a result, such emotion will be expressed over text, with a flood of messages sent directly after the partners have been in contact with one another.

So, what category do you fall into?

More by this author

Nick Darlington

Nick is a Multipotentialite, an entrepreneur, a blogger and a traveler.

Study Says Art Makes You Mentally Healthier, Even If You’re Not Good At It When You Can Stop Yourself From Multitasking, Your Brain Will Start To Change How Silence Affects Our Brains in A Good Way, Science Explains 5 Things That Will Happen When You Wake Up Two Hours Earlier For A Month Why Overthinkers Are Probably Creative Problem-Solvers

Trending in Communication

1 19 Definitions Of Success You Should Never Ignore 2 How to Give Constructive Feedback in the Workplace 3 10 Ways to Keep Going When the Going Gets Tough 4 The 5 Most Important Things in Life You’ll Regret Not Pursuing 5 Why Am I So Sad? 9 Possible Causes You Shouldn’t Ignore

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on June 3, 2020

19 Definitions Of Success You Should Never Ignore

19 Definitions Of Success You Should Never Ignore

What is success?

Is it wealth? Is it happiness? Is it fame?

The late Zig Ziglar was one of the most respected modern day experts on success, motivation, and leading a balanced life. In his book Born to Win!, he argues that success cannot be defined in one sentence, but instead it is comprised of many things. One could argue that the definition depends on the individual and that one size does not fit all[1].

Here are 19 different definitions of success. Not all of these will resonate with you, but chances are at least a few of them will. Use these or find inspiration here to create your own definition of success that can be applied to your unique life.

1. Success is always doing your best.

Success can be achieved when you try your best in all aspects of everything you do, even if that doesn’t lead to big results. If you’ve done your best, you should feel proud of your efforts.

Advertising

2. Success is properly setting concrete goals.

Be realistic and concrete when setting goals. Success does not come from setting abstract goals. If you know where you’re heading, that is a success in itself, even if you don’t ultimately arrive to the planned destination.

3. Success is having a place to call home.

Home is where your heart soars. You are always successful when you can call a place home. Home doesn’t have to be a specific structure. It can be a country, a city, or even a person. If you have a place you feel comfortable and safe, you’re already achieving something great.

4. Success is understanding the difference between need and want.

If you can meet your monthly obligations and fulfill your basic needs, you are successful. Being able to identify when you absolutely need something and when you can do without it often leads to financial stability and is a great way to succeed.

5. Success is believing you can.

If you believe you can, you will succeed. Self-belief doesn’t come naturally to everyone, so if you’re able to tell yourself that you can achieve the goals in your plans, you’re doing great.

6. Success is remembering to balance work with passion.

Work without passion creates undue stress and empty achievements. Focus on what excites you. If you’re happy at your job, that’s great. However, even if you aren’t, you can balance your formal job with hobbies or volunteer work you’re passionate about.

Advertising

7. Success is taking care of your needs.

Remember to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. Self-care is essential if you want to have any meaningful impact on the world around you.

8. Success is learning that you sometimes have to say no.

Success only comes with a balanced life. Part of balance is learning to say no. Saying no doesn’t mean you are selfish; it simply means you have priorities and know what you need to give your attention to at any given time.

9. Success is knowing your life is filled with abundance.

Love, health, friends, family…life is filled with abundance. Recognizing this is an important step to feeling grateful for all life has given you. If you can feel this, you are already experiencing success.

10. Success is understanding you cannot keep what you don’t give away.

You will only succeed if you help others succeed. Learning to give instead of always take is part of creating a world we all want to live in. When you help others, you will also create an environment where others want to help you.

11. Success is overcoming fear.

Conquering a fear makes you feel invincible. Even if it’s confronting just one small fear each week, that is certainly something to feel proud of. The bigger fears will take more time, but any work you do to overcome fear will lead to success.

Advertising

12. Success is learning something new each day.

Successful people understand that learning never stops. Take time each day to converse with someone with opposing views, read an interesting article on a topic you know little about, or watch a TED talk on new research. It doesn’t take long to learn, so get started now.

13. Success is learning that losing a few battles can help you win a war.

Successful people choose their battles wisely. When you know which battles will ultimately help you achieve your goals, you will be successful.

14. Success is loving and being loved back.

Opening your heart to others is difficult and can produce fear. Having the courage to love and accept love from others is a step toward a fulfilling life and great success.

15. Success is standing your ground when you believe in something.

Successful people never give up on things they believe with all their heart. You may hold views that many people disagree with, but if you’ve done your research and know that it’s the right belief for you, you shouldn’t let it go without a fight.

16. Success is not giving up.

Perseverance creates grit, and grit achieves success. Even if it takes years to achieve a goal, persisting is key if you want success.

Advertising

17. Success is celebrating small victories.

Anytime a goal is reached or an obstacle is overcome, take time to celebrate, even if it’s something small. All goals require smaller objectives to be achieved first, so each time you complete one, take time to appreciate the work you put into it.

18. Success is never letting a disability hold you back.

Disabilities do not define a person’s success. The body and mind will compensate. Just because you can’t do absolutely everything doesn’t mean you can’t do something. Do what your body and mind allow and always push yourself. That is true success.

19. Success is understanding that you control your destiny.

Your destiny is controlled by you and you alone. Take responsibility for your actions and their consequences and you’ll find that you naturally become more successful.

The Bottom Line

Success can be defined in many ways. If you are experiencing happiness, love, or adventure in this moment, you’ve already found success. Keep it up.

More Tips on Success

Featured photo credit: Dino Reichmuth via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next