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How Your Texting Habit Reveals Your Personality

How Your Texting Habit Reveals Your Personality

What do your texting habits reveal about you?

A recent study analyzed the effects of texting on satisfaction in romantic relationships, with a specific focus on the role of attachment style.

Attachment theory originates from John Bowlby, and later Mary Aimsworth. It has its origins in analyzing the mother and child relationship. Through observing a child’s behavior in different situations, Bowlby and Aimsworth got an idea of how the child attached themselves to their mothers.

Three types of attachment were identified

  1. Secure attachment: The child would be mildly anxious when the mother left, would avoid the stranger, and be friendly to the stranger once the mother returned.
  2. Insecure attachment: The child was distressed when the mother left.
  3. Avoidant attachment: The child was not distressed at all.

These were later applied to adults in a variety of studies. The texting in relationship study surveyed people who identified themselves as being in a romantic relationship. 395 students were surveyed (175 male and 220 female). All were over 19 years of age, and the average relationship length was 15 months.

The study aimed to determine two things

1. How individuals communicated (via text or other means).
2. What the relationship was between attachment style and texting habits.

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How individuals communicated

Texting habits and other forms of communication (such as e-mail, internet chat, Skype, and face-to-face communication) were analyzed.

“While some partners virtually never communicated via text, others sent as many as 500 texts a day to their partner, which accounted for more than 90% of their communication.”

The relationship between attachment style and texting habits

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Participants were placed in one of three categories identified earlier (this is adapted as it relates to adults):

  1. Secure attachment style: People have a strong self-image, are secure, can enter into a committed relationship, and do not require constant re-assurance.
  2. Insecure attachment style: Their self-image is not healthy. They are insecure, requiring constant reassurance and experiencing anxiety when separated from loved ones.
  3. Avoidant attachment style: Individuals are highly independent, often seeking control and preferring emotional distance.

Those who were categorized under the avoidant and insecure attachment styles (based on their personality) texted significantly more than those classified under the secure attachment style.

What were the reasons for this and what are common examples in everyday life?

Texting regularly as part of the insecure attachment style.

Individuals falling under the insecure category text more regularly due to fears of  abandonment, insecurity, as well as their constant desire and need for re-assurance. Quite simply, they need to be loved. Whilst it is recognized that texting is less intimate than a face-to-face meeting, it reduces the individuals anxiety of not being close to their partner and provides them with needed reassurance and comfort.

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A common example includes a partner who constantly texts you when you are on a weekend away with friends. They seek reassurance that you love them and want to remind you that they still love you.

Being separated (due to working in a different location, for example) will also cause a constant stream of messaging throughout the day to restore comfort.

Texting regularly as part of the avoidance category.

For those classified under the avoidance category, texting more regularly provides a means to maintain emotional distance and control over how often texting occurs. Remember, emotional distance and control are distinctive traits of the individual falling under this category.

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Using the previous example of a weekend away with friends, this kind of individual will also text more regularly, but for different reasons. They will want to know what you are doing and who you are going with. Knowing this makes them feel in control even when there is a distance between you.

Considering that emotional distance is a trait, they will struggle to express themselves face-to-face. As a result, such emotion will be expressed over text, with a flood of messages sent directly after the partners have been in contact with one another.

So, what category do you fall into?

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Last Updated on December 2, 2018

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

1. Connecting them with each other

Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

2. Connect with their emotions

Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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3. Keep going back to the beginning

Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

4. Link to your audience’s motivation

After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

5. Entertain them

While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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6. Appeal to loyalty

Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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