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4 Excuses That Keep You From Breaking Out Of Your Comfort Zone

4 Excuses That Keep You From Breaking Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Ever feel as if you are hopelessly stuck in a rut? As if you can’t get what you want in life so you just settle for what you can get easily.

Or maybe you’ve just allowed yourself to become a creature of habit and you’ve settled into what’s familiar.

It may feel comfy for a while, but the sad fact is that most of our regrets in life come from making fear-based decisions instead of courageous ones. And if you’re stuck in your comfort zone, you’re probably doing just that.

Do you think that fear may be getting in the way of the life you really want? You’re certainly not alone.

Here are 4 of the most common excuses people make that keep them stuck in their comfort (actually merely “familiar”) zones that may be trapping you now.

Top Excuse #1: “I have fears that other people don’t.”

Okay, this is always going to be partially true.

For example, if you’re Justin Timberlake, you probably aren’t afraid of singing karaoke on Tuesday night at the Drunken Monkey. If you’re someone who isn’t used to singing? Well, sure you probably are scared.

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The thing is that JT has been performing professionally since he was a kid. But what if you asked him to play quarterback for the Patriots? He’d probably be nervous, and rightfully so. Why? It’s new to him! It’s out of his comfort zone. But imagine the thrill of dropping back into the pocket those first few times and completing some passes.

When you stretch yourself, you’re going to have some fears pop up – but you’ll also have that magic of novelty. Of testing your edges. Of breaking into something new.

Most people think confidence is some magical thing that some people just “have.” That may seem true, but it’s usually simply that those who seem confident merely have more experience and have gathered more internal and external positive feedback in what they’ve been doing. You can only achieve that if you stick a foot out of your familiar zone and start that cycle.

Everyone has fear when they do that, but every time you notch a small win, that fear starts to dissipate.

Top Excuse #2: “If I didn’t have fear, I could do what I wanted.”

Well sure, that sentiment seems to makes sense on the surface. On the other hand, it’s absurd.

You imagine that the only way to move forward into the life you want is to already have the confidence of having achieved your goals in the first place!

Have you ever seen a guy do a couple of shots before he walks up and talk to a girl? What they call “liquid courage?”

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Does alcohol help? Yeah, it might for a bit, but it’s cheating him out of real growth, of facing his fear on his own and stepping into the fire. Using a drug to mask your fear doesn’t help your develop the resilience to move through it.

The next time that guy wants to talk to a lovely young women, he’ll have grown not a jot. He’ll be exactly where he was before — and back to the shots. He won’t have developed his confidence or have handled his fear on his own.

Fear should never stop you from taking bold action in your life. There is only way through — and it’s direct.

Step into the fire of your fear. Or, as one book title says, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” You don’t need to be free of fear to make a bold move out of your comfort zone. You just need to step right though it.

And if you want to be authentic about it, feel free to say it out loud: “Hi, I saw you from across the room and you look so sweet and beautiful. I wanted to come and introduce myself — and I’m actually kind of nervous about it.”

She may be impressed with your honesty. The next time you do it, you’ll notice that your old nervousness isn’t coming up like it used to.

Top Excuse #3: “I need more self-esteem before I do what I want.”

Again, the only way to develop self-esteem is to prove to yourself that you can act in the face of your fear!

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Here’s an example:

Let’s say you’re at karaoke, terrified to sing, and you decide to go up there anyway. What’s the worst that can happen? Say you are terrible, then Lady Gaga rolls in and kills it! Does that suddenly make you a worse person? No! It means you’ve just sung on the same stage as Lady Gaga.

It’s all how you decide to frame it. You can always frame things to highlight your faults or your attributes.

You didn’t get dumped by your ex, you got out of a dead-end relationship and are free to find the right person for you.

Self-esteem develops when you do your best and you see that you come out alive on the other side. Even if you didn’t bring down the house, you get to have the accomplishment of having done your best, which is all you can ever do.

Self-esteem means that you say to yourself “I am worthy” because of you who you are, not because of the quality of your accomplishments.

Top Excuse #4: “I’ll just do it next time.”

So often, you are close to making the leap out of your comfort zone. There you stand, so close, on the edge, one foot out, and then you pull back saying, “I’m just not quite ready.” Maybe you think you need to study a little more. Or practice a little more. Or follow the no-contact rule for a couple more weeks. Or double-check your notes. Or say your affirmations first.

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And you start justifying, “It’s no big difference if I wait a few days or weeks or years longer.”

But it is a big difference. Again, the big benefit of acting now rather than making excuses is that (1) you get the experience of taking a risk, (2) you get to learn from your risk-taking and get wiser, and (3) you get to feel higher self-esteem because you’ve leapt where others may have faltered.

You want send signals to your brain that though the world is a dangerous place, you have the courage and decisiveness to act in the face of your fear.

The alternative is to send an emotionally abusive signal to your brain that you are weak and scared and that the world is a more powerful force than your own will.

This mindset will keep you cowering in your comfort zone forever. Nothing great ever happens without courage.

When you do take that jump out of the tight constrictions of your comfort zone, you will not only build your resilience, self-esteem, courage, and confidence, but you are also likely to feel the thrill of adventure, of being alive.

And you get to love your courage, and yourself, regardless of the results.

Featured photo credit: Dan Cooper via stokpic.com

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Nick Bastion

Love Expert, Relationship Coach, Author

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Last Updated on May 28, 2020

How to Overcome Boredom

How to Overcome Boredom

Have you ever been bored? Restless? Fidgety? In need of some inspiration?

I have a theory on boredom. I believe that the rate of boredom has increased alongside the pace of technology.

If you think about it, technology has provided us with mobile phones, laptops, Ipads, device after device – all to ultimately fix one problem: boredom.

What is Boredom?

We have become a global nation that feeds on entertainment. We associate ‘living’ with ‘doing’. People now do not know how to sit still, and we feel guilty when we are not doing anything. Today, inactivity has become the ultimate sin.

You might not realize it, but boredom stimulates a form of anxiety and stress. It evokes an emotional state that creates frustration and feeds procrastination.

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It’s a desire to be ‘doing something’ or to be ‘entertained’ – it’s a desire for sensory stimulation. What it boils down to is a lack of focus.

If you think about those times when you’re bored, it’s usually because you did not know what to do. So, indecision also plays a big part.

When we are focused on what’s important to us and what we want to achieve, it’s pretty hard to be bored. So, one answer to boredom is to become focused on what you want.

Sometimes It’s Good to Be Bored

If boredom is a desire for sensory stimulation – then what’s the opposite of that? To be content with no stimulation – in other words – to enjoy stillness.

Sometimes, it’s not boredom itself that causes the frustration but the resistance to doing nothing.

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Think about it. What would happen if you were to ‘let go’ of the desire to be entertained? You wouldn’t be bored anymore, and you will feel more relaxed!

In my experience, it’s often the most obvious, simplistic solutions that are the most powerful in life. So, when you’re bored, the easiest way to combat this is to enjoy it.

It may sound weird but think of ‘boredom’ as a form of ‘relaxation’. It’s a break from the constant stimulation that 21st-century living provides – constant TVs, mobile phones, radios, internet, emails, phone calls, etc.

Who knows, maybe ‘boredom’ is actually good for us?

Next time you’re ‘feeling bored’ instead of feeding the frustration by frantically looking for something to do, maybe you can sit back, relax, and savor the feeling of having nothing to do.

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In this article, I’ll share with you my 3-step strategy on how to overcome boredom.

3-Step Strategy to Overcome Boredom

1. Get Focused

Instead of chasing sensory stimulation at random, focus on what’s really important to you. Focusing on something important helps prevent boredom because it forces you to utilize your time productively.

You should ask yourself: what would make good use of your time? What could you be doing that would contribute to your major goals in life?

Here are a few ideas:

  • Spend some time in quiet contemplation considering what’s important to you.
  • Start that creative project you’ve been talking about for the last few weeks.
  • Brainstorm: think of some ideas for new innovative products or businesses.

2. Kill Procrastination

Boredom is useful in some ways because it gives you the energy and time to do things. It is only a problem if you let it. But if you use it to motivate yourself to be productive, then you can more easily overcome boredom.

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So, the next time you’re bored, why not put this good energy to use by ticking off those things that you have been meaning to get done but have been too busy to finish? This also presents a great time for you to clear your to-do list.

Here are some ideas:

  • Do some exercise.
  • Read a book.
  • Learn something new.
  • Call a friend.
  • Get creative (draw, paint, sculpt, create music, write).
  • Do a spring cleaning.
  • Wash the car.
  • Renovate the house.
  • Re-arrange the furniture.
  • Write your shopping list.
  • Water the plants.
  • Walk the dog.
  • Sort out your mail & email.
  • De-clutter (clear out that wardrobe).

3. Enjoy Boredom

If none of the above solutions work, then you can try a different approach. Don’t give in to boredom and instead choose to enjoy it. This doesn’t mean allowing yourself to waste your time being bored. Instead, think of it as your time to relax and re-energize, which will help you be more productive the next time you work.

Contrary to popular belief, we don’t need to be constantly doing things to be productive. In fact, research has shown that people are more productive when they take periods of rest to recharge.[1] Taking breaks once in a while helps boost your performance and can help make you feel more motivated.

So, take some time to relax. You never know, you might even like it.

Final Thoughts

Learning how to overcome boredom may be difficult at the beginning, but it can be easier if you make use of some techniques. You can start with my 3-step strategy on how to overcome boredom and work your way from there. So, ready your mind and make use of these tips, and you will be overcoming boredom in no time.

More Tips on Overcoming Boredom

Featured photo credit: Johnny Cohen via unsplash.com

Reference

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