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These 2 Hidden Habits Will Hinder Your Success!

These 2 Hidden Habits Will Hinder Your Success!

I remember when I first started working for myself and one of the things that I realized very quickly was I had many habits that just weren’t friends of success. When you break away on your own you may realize, your time is now yours and everything you do from here is going be what you get back!

It became very obvious that if I was going to work for myself, I had to change a few things. It’s clear that the extent of success is the ratio of good and bad habits you have in life. It was an easy way to double check if I was headed in the right direction. It sparked a deep desire I had to learn all I could about habits, how to create, break, and change them!

It led me down the world of discovery, how we as humans are made up of so many habits, smaller ones, bigger ones, dangerous, harmless and weird and why we form them.

The truth is that we are constantly looking to create a habit out of anything we do; it is the way our mind is wired.  So we need to be very aware of the habits we decide to take on, because remember that we have so many types, you might not even realize you are harming your results.  We have obvious habits and we also have underlying hidden habits that undermine our success, confidence and happiness every time.

Working with many clients for different challenges there always seems to be one sore point that creates it all: a lack of confidence.  This slowly poisons the mind and your results, and many people can’t understand why they feel so bad about themselves.  Confidence and habits feed off each other.

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Here are the two hidden habits that will hinder your success:

  1. Not following through on your word
  2. Not being congruent with yourself.

What does that even mean?

Not following through on your word:

Think about the last time a friend, family, colleague or loved one let you down, they said they were going to do something and they didn’t.

How do you feel about other people when they don’t follow through on their word? What do you think you are thinking about yourself then?

When you say you are going to do something and then you follow through on your word and you do it – whether it is waking up at 6:00am, picking up that phone or doing that favor for a friend, you build your confidence. You stick to your word; you respect your promises.

Every time you say you are going to do something and you don’t, you lower your confidence, without even realizing!

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Setting goals and not following through or taking action. Promising yourself you will do something and you just don’t.

Ask yourself honestly: How many things to do you say to you yourself that you are going to do and you never take action on? How many times have you set yourself a small goal, but then not risen to the challenge?

Success requires staying true to your word, being authentic. To everybody, but especially yourself!

If you know you are going to find it difficult to follow through on something, adjust the commitment.  Be careful, confidence is a key ingredient to having success in any area of life; so don’t sabotage yourself indirectly with false words and commitments.

Habitually not being congruent with yourself:

Everyone wonders what is the key to achieving goals and what you want in life and it’s almost impossible to reduce it to a set formula, but if we had to, I think it would look something like this:

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Setting the right goals, with the right actions and habits, with the right mindset – consistently.

If any part of this equation is out of alignment, you will find it hard to reach the goal! That is the story for most people. If you have the right goals, and you take the strategic actions to reach it but your mindset is not aligned, guess what, you will find it hard to reach your goal. And vice versa.

What comes up is a lot of incongruences and therefore mixed results. Your habitual way of doing things isn’t working.

Let’s say that you lack confidence in doing something, but you really want to do it because you know it will be good for business. Because you lack confidence in that area, you take actions from a place of being less confident, because that is how you feel, it might even start to become a habit. By being less confident you are being congruent with your limited belief about how you think you are and of course, you are going to feel horrible about yourself.

But it is double-sided, there is also another part of you that knows you can be confident in doing that thing, and so when you find yourself listening to your less confident voice, you feel horrible too because you are not being congruent with the part of you that knows you can be confident.

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So it’s like a vicious circle you don’t even know you are playing in.

What are the most important take aways?

  1. Watch out for actions and mindset beliefs that are incongruent and become habits – it’s an immediate block to results!  If you are not getting the results you want – where are you not being congruent? What part of your goals, habits and your mindset is not aligned?
  1. Don’t make promises and commitments you won’t follow through on – not matter how small they may seem!  And vice versa; if you want to build confidence every day; set yourself an intention and take action on it and you will feel amazing!!

Remember that you might be blind to your biggest areas of growth and harming your results unwillingly.

Change your story around today! Live by your own words and be congruent with who you know you can be!

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Kirstin O´Donovan

Certified Life and Productivity Coach, Founder and CEO of TopResultsCoaching

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Last Updated on March 13, 2019

How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

Have you gotten into a rut before? Or are you in a rut right now?

You know you’re in a rut when you run out of ideas and inspiration. I personally see a rut as a productivity vacuum. It might very well be a reason why you aren’t getting results. Even as you spend more time on your work, you can’t seem to get anything constructive done. While I’m normally productive, I get into occasional ruts (especially when I’ve been working back-to-back without rest). During those times, I can spend an entire day in front of the computer and get nothing done. It can be quite frustrating.

Over time, I have tried and found several methods that are helpful to pull me out of a rut. If you experience ruts too, whether as a working professional, a writer, a blogger, a student or other work, you will find these useful. Here are 12 of my personal tips to get out of ruts:

1. Work on the small tasks.

When you are in a rut, tackle it by starting small. Clear away your smaller tasks which have been piling up. Reply to your emails, organize your documents, declutter your work space, and reply to private messages.

Whenever I finish doing that, I generate a positive momentum which I bring forward to my work.

2. Take a break from your work desk.

Get yourself away from your desk and go take a walk. Go to the washroom, walk around the office, go out and get a snack.

Your mind is too bogged down and needs some airing. Sometimes I get new ideas right after I walk away from my computer.

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3. Upgrade yourself

Take the down time to upgrade yourself. Go to a seminar. Read up on new materials (#7). Pick up a new language. Or any of the 42 ways here to improve yourself.

The modern computer uses different typefaces because Steve Jobs dropped in on a calligraphy class back in college. How’s that for inspiration?

4. Talk to a friend.

Talk to someone and get your mind off work for a while.

Talk about anything, from casual chatting to a deep conversation about something you really care about. You will be surprised at how the short encounter can be rejuvenating in its own way.

5. Forget about trying to be perfect.

If you are in a rut, the last thing you want to do is step on your own toes with perfectionist tendencies.

Just start small. Do what you can, at your own pace. Let yourself make mistakes.

Soon, a little trickle of inspiration will come. And then it’ll build up with more trickles. Before you know it, you have a whole stream of ideas.

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6. Paint a vision to work towards.

If you are continuously getting in a rut with your work, maybe there’s no vision inspiring you to move forward.

Think about why you are doing this, and what you are doing it for. What is the end vision in mind?

Make it as vivid as possible. Make sure it’s a vision that inspires you and use that to trigger you to action.

7. Read a book (or blog).

The things we read are like food to our brain. If you are out of ideas, it’s time to feed your brain with great materials.

Here’s a list of 40 books you can start off with. Stock your browser with only the feeds of high quality blogs, such as Lifehack.org, DumbLittleMan, Seth Godin’s Blog, Tim Ferris’ Blog, Zen Habits or The Personal Excellence Blog.

Check out the best selling books; those are generally packed with great wisdom.

8. Have a quick nap.

If you are at home, take a quick nap for about 20-30 minutes. This clears up your mind and gives you a quick boost. Nothing quite like starting off on a fresh start after catching up on sleep.

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9. Remember why you are doing this.

Sometimes we lose sight of why we do what we do, and after a while we become jaded. A quick refresher on why you even started on this project will help.

What were you thinking when you thought of doing this? Retrace your thoughts back to that moment. Recall why you are doing this. Then reconnect with your muse.

10. Find some competition.

Nothing quite like healthy competition to spur us forward. If you are out of ideas, then check up on what people are doing in your space.

Colleagues at work, competitors in the industry, competitors’ products and websites, networking conventions.. you get the drill.

11. Go exercise.

Since you are not making headway at work, might as well spend the time shaping yourself up.

Sometimes we work so much that we neglect our health and fitness. Go jog, swim, cycle, whichever exercise you prefer.

As you improve your physical health, your mental health will improve, too. The different facets of ourselves are all interlinked.

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Here’re 15 Tips to Restart the Exercise Habit (and How to Keep It).

12. Take a good break.

Ruts are usually signs that you have been working too long and too hard. It’s time to get a break.

Beyond the quick tips above, arrange for a 1-day or 2-days of break from your work. Don’t check your (work) emails or do anything work-related. Relax and do your favorite activities. You will return to your work recharged and ready to start.

Contrary to popular belief, the world will not end from taking a break from your work. In fact, you will be much more ready to make an impact after proper rest. My best ideas and inspiration always hit me whenever I’m away from my work.

Take a look at this to learn the importance of rest: The Importance of Scheduling Downtime

More Resources About Getting out of a Rut

Featured photo credit: Joshua Earle via unsplash.com

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