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These 2 Hidden Habits Will Hinder Your Success!

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These 2 Hidden Habits Will Hinder Your Success!

I remember when I first started working for myself and one of the things that I realized very quickly was I had many habits that just weren’t friends of success. When you break away on your own you may realize, your time is now yours and everything you do from here is going be what you get back!

It became very obvious that if I was going to work for myself, I had to change a few things. It’s clear that the extent of success is the ratio of good and bad habits you have in life. It was an easy way to double check if I was headed in the right direction. It sparked a deep desire I had to learn all I could about habits, how to create, break, and change them!

It led me down the world of discovery, how we as humans are made up of so many habits, smaller ones, bigger ones, dangerous, harmless and weird and why we form them.

The truth is that we are constantly looking to create a habit out of anything we do; it is the way our mind is wired.  So we need to be very aware of the habits we decide to take on, because remember that we have so many types, you might not even realize you are harming your results.  We have obvious habits and we also have underlying hidden habits that undermine our success, confidence and happiness every time.

Working with many clients for different challenges there always seems to be one sore point that creates it all: a lack of confidence.  This slowly poisons the mind and your results, and many people can’t understand why they feel so bad about themselves.  Confidence and habits feed off each other.

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Here are the two hidden habits that will hinder your success:

  1. Not following through on your word
  2. Not being congruent with yourself.

What does that even mean?

Not following through on your word:

Think about the last time a friend, family, colleague or loved one let you down, they said they were going to do something and they didn’t.

How do you feel about other people when they don’t follow through on their word? What do you think you are thinking about yourself then?

When you say you are going to do something and then you follow through on your word and you do it – whether it is waking up at 6:00am, picking up that phone or doing that favor for a friend, you build your confidence. You stick to your word; you respect your promises.

Every time you say you are going to do something and you don’t, you lower your confidence, without even realizing!

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Setting goals and not following through or taking action. Promising yourself you will do something and you just don’t.

Ask yourself honestly: How many things to do you say to you yourself that you are going to do and you never take action on? How many times have you set yourself a small goal, but then not risen to the challenge?

Success requires staying true to your word, being authentic. To everybody, but especially yourself!

If you know you are going to find it difficult to follow through on something, adjust the commitment.  Be careful, confidence is a key ingredient to having success in any area of life; so don’t sabotage yourself indirectly with false words and commitments.

Habitually not being congruent with yourself:

Everyone wonders what is the key to achieving goals and what you want in life and it’s almost impossible to reduce it to a set formula, but if we had to, I think it would look something like this:

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Setting the right goals, with the right actions and habits, with the right mindset – consistently.

If any part of this equation is out of alignment, you will find it hard to reach the goal! That is the story for most people. If you have the right goals, and you take the strategic actions to reach it but your mindset is not aligned, guess what, you will find it hard to reach your goal. And vice versa.

What comes up is a lot of incongruences and therefore mixed results. Your habitual way of doing things isn’t working.

Let’s say that you lack confidence in doing something, but you really want to do it because you know it will be good for business. Because you lack confidence in that area, you take actions from a place of being less confident, because that is how you feel, it might even start to become a habit. By being less confident you are being congruent with your limited belief about how you think you are and of course, you are going to feel horrible about yourself.

But it is double-sided, there is also another part of you that knows you can be confident in doing that thing, and so when you find yourself listening to your less confident voice, you feel horrible too because you are not being congruent with the part of you that knows you can be confident.

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So it’s like a vicious circle you don’t even know you are playing in.

What are the most important take aways?

  1. Watch out for actions and mindset beliefs that are incongruent and become habits – it’s an immediate block to results!  If you are not getting the results you want – where are you not being congruent? What part of your goals, habits and your mindset is not aligned?
  1. Don’t make promises and commitments you won’t follow through on – not matter how small they may seem!  And vice versa; if you want to build confidence every day; set yourself an intention and take action on it and you will feel amazing!!

Remember that you might be blind to your biggest areas of growth and harming your results unwillingly.

Change your story around today! Live by your own words and be congruent with who you know you can be!

More by this author

Kirstin O´Donovan

Certified Life and Productivity Coach, Founder and CEO of TopResultsCoaching

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Last Updated on January 13, 2022

10 Cheap And Amazing Honeymoon Ideas

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10 Cheap And Amazing Honeymoon Ideas

A honeymoon is important.  The wedding is over.  The months, or even years, of stress and planning are finally over.  It’s time for the two of you to relax, settle in, and start enjoying your time together as you embark on your first journey as a family.

To make the most of this time for the least amount of money, it’s important to focus on what you want out of a honeymoon.  This isn’t your typical list of touristy honeymoon locations everyone goes to.  Rather, it’s a list of cheap honeymoon experiences a couple can enjoy together, regardless of where it’s at.

1. Camping

A week long camping trip is a fantastic way to see how you mesh together as a couple.  You’re put in a low impact “survival” situation where it’s just the 2 of you and nature.  You have a chance to see how your new spouse handles themselves when left with the basics of life.  There are amazing national parks all over the United States where you can camp for a week for $20-30, disconnect from technology, and enjoy some of the natural wonders our nation has to offer.

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2. Staycation

You don’t have to go anywhere for a honeymoon.  In fact, the tradition of taking a honeymoon vacation is a relatively new one.  Prior to the 19th century, a honeymoon involved staying home together for a month to get to know each other physically.  Think of how blissful it could be to take a full month off work, disconnect from the outside world, and focus entirely on projects together.  You may not be wowing your friends and family with pictures of some exotic location, but they’ll be envious of your escape from the rat race nonetheless.

3. Island Getaway

People tend to overspend on their honeymoon vacations to Hawaii, Tahiti, etc.  Going to these places doesn’t have to be expensive.  You don’t need to stay in a 5 star resort when you’re on a Best Western budget.  You’re there to be in the atmosphere of the island, not a hotel room. Book a cheap flight and sleep in a hotel alternative, on the beach or in your car.  It’s the view in paradise that really matters.

4. Fancy Resort

Book an expensive resort, spa, or retreat in the city you live in.  While this may seem counterintuitive as a cheap destination, when you consider your savings on airfare and other travel costs, you can afford to be treated like royalty within your own city limits.  If you book a honeymoon package, you’ll end up with a lot of free amenities and extra attention.  There’s no need to fly halfway across the world to live the good life.

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5. Road Trip

The journey is often more fulfilling than the actual destination.  If you fly out to some exotic locale, you’ll be stuck on a plane for 8-30 hours.  Rent a luxury car, pick a handful of places you each have always wanted to visit, and go on an adventure.  You can keep food costs down by packing your own snacks, but it’s always a good idea to sample the local delicacies wherever you go, even if it’s only a few states over.

6. Charter a Boat

If the ocean is your thing, a week-long cruise can cost you $1500-$3000 per person, depending on the destination.  You also have to factor in travel costs to and from the cruise, alcohol, souvenirs, and on-shore excursions.  You’ll also be surrounded by people.  For the same price (and often much cheaper), you can charter your own boat and enjoy the experience in private.

7. Las Vegas/Atlantic City

If gambling is your thing, these are the places to do it.  Which one you choose depends on your preference, budget, and proximity.  The way to make this vacation cheaper is to gamble smart.  Stay away from low odd tables (i.e craps, roulette) and read up on the MIT blackjack strategies to beat the house.  If you do it right, you can win enough for a free trip (and gain a valuable team skill in the process).

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8. Themed Retreats

There are weeklong retreats all over the world where you can fully immerse yourselves as a couple into a hobby you’re both passionate about.  Go on a yoga/meditation retreat, a ranch, a vineyard/farm, a backpacking adventure, treasure hunt, or whatever you’re into.

9. Working Honeymoon

Your honeymoon doesn’t have to be a vacation.  For a truly memorable experience, dedicate a week to a charity or volunteer organization.  You can drive out to a campground to help restore it in the offseason.  Maybe you’ve always wanted to volunteer to help out your local animal shelter, plant trees, help the homeless, etc.  Use the time to do something together as a couple that will fulfill you spiritually while contributing to the community.  Just because you’re on a honeymoon doesn’t mean you can’t be productive.

10. Festivals, Fairs & Special Events

Every city, state, and country has festivals, fairs, and special events.  Find one you’re interested in.  If you time your wedding right, your honeymoon can be a trip to one of these festivals.  Burning Man, SXSW, Bonnaroo, the Renaissance Fair, regional harvest festivals, Mardi Gras, New Years Eve in Times Square, a movie premiere, or whatever you’re into.  If you plan your honeymoon at the right time in the right place, the possibilities are endless.

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Featured photo credit: Josue Michel via unsplash.com

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