Advertising
Advertising

These 2 Hidden Habits Will Hinder Your Success!

These 2 Hidden Habits Will Hinder Your Success!

I remember when I first started working for myself and one of the things that I realized very quickly was I had many habits that just weren’t friends of success. When you break away on your own you may realize, your time is now yours and everything you do from here is going be what you get back!

It became very obvious that if I was going to work for myself, I had to change a few things. It’s clear that the extent of success is the ratio of good and bad habits you have in life. It was an easy way to double check if I was headed in the right direction. It sparked a deep desire I had to learn all I could about habits, how to create, break, and change them!

It led me down the world of discovery, how we as humans are made up of so many habits, smaller ones, bigger ones, dangerous, harmless and weird and why we form them.

The truth is that we are constantly looking to create a habit out of anything we do; it is the way our mind is wired.  So we need to be very aware of the habits we decide to take on, because remember that we have so many types, you might not even realize you are harming your results.  We have obvious habits and we also have underlying hidden habits that undermine our success, confidence and happiness every time.

Working with many clients for different challenges there always seems to be one sore point that creates it all: a lack of confidence.  This slowly poisons the mind and your results, and many people can’t understand why they feel so bad about themselves.  Confidence and habits feed off each other.

Advertising

Here are the two hidden habits that will hinder your success:

  1. Not following through on your word
  2. Not being congruent with yourself.

What does that even mean?

Not following through on your word:

Think about the last time a friend, family, colleague or loved one let you down, they said they were going to do something and they didn’t.

How do you feel about other people when they don’t follow through on their word? What do you think you are thinking about yourself then?

When you say you are going to do something and then you follow through on your word and you do it – whether it is waking up at 6:00am, picking up that phone or doing that favor for a friend, you build your confidence. You stick to your word; you respect your promises.

Every time you say you are going to do something and you don’t, you lower your confidence, without even realizing!

Advertising

Setting goals and not following through or taking action. Promising yourself you will do something and you just don’t.

Ask yourself honestly: How many things to do you say to you yourself that you are going to do and you never take action on? How many times have you set yourself a small goal, but then not risen to the challenge?

Success requires staying true to your word, being authentic. To everybody, but especially yourself!

If you know you are going to find it difficult to follow through on something, adjust the commitment.  Be careful, confidence is a key ingredient to having success in any area of life; so don’t sabotage yourself indirectly with false words and commitments.

Habitually not being congruent with yourself:

Everyone wonders what is the key to achieving goals and what you want in life and it’s almost impossible to reduce it to a set formula, but if we had to, I think it would look something like this:

Advertising

Setting the right goals, with the right actions and habits, with the right mindset – consistently.

If any part of this equation is out of alignment, you will find it hard to reach the goal! That is the story for most people. If you have the right goals, and you take the strategic actions to reach it but your mindset is not aligned, guess what, you will find it hard to reach your goal. And vice versa.

What comes up is a lot of incongruences and therefore mixed results. Your habitual way of doing things isn’t working.

Let’s say that you lack confidence in doing something, but you really want to do it because you know it will be good for business. Because you lack confidence in that area, you take actions from a place of being less confident, because that is how you feel, it might even start to become a habit. By being less confident you are being congruent with your limited belief about how you think you are and of course, you are going to feel horrible about yourself.

But it is double-sided, there is also another part of you that knows you can be confident in doing that thing, and so when you find yourself listening to your less confident voice, you feel horrible too because you are not being congruent with the part of you that knows you can be confident.

Advertising

So it’s like a vicious circle you don’t even know you are playing in.

What are the most important take aways?

  1. Watch out for actions and mindset beliefs that are incongruent and become habits – it’s an immediate block to results!  If you are not getting the results you want – where are you not being congruent? What part of your goals, habits and your mindset is not aligned?
  1. Don’t make promises and commitments you won’t follow through on – not matter how small they may seem!  And vice versa; if you want to build confidence every day; set yourself an intention and take action on it and you will feel amazing!!

Remember that you might be blind to your biggest areas of growth and harming your results unwillingly.

Change your story around today! Live by your own words and be congruent with who you know you can be!

More by this author

Kirstin O´Donovan

Certified Life and Productivity Coach, Founder and CEO of TopResultsCoaching

How to Be More Productive: 4 Tiny Tweaks to Make Why To-Do Lists Don’t Work (And How to Change That) 18 Best Time Management Apps and Tools (2019 Updated) How To Control Your Emotions Effectively 8 Dreadful Effects of Procrastination That Can Destroy Your Life

Trending in Lifestyle

1 10 Comics About Periods That Only Women Would Understand 2 10 Powerful Ways to Stop Worrying and Start Living Today 3 7 Best Tea for Bloating and Stomach Gas Relief 4 How to Learn Something New Every Day and Stay Smart 5 How to Enjoy Life In a Way Most People Don’t

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on December 2, 2019

10 Powerful Ways to Stop Worrying and Start Living Today

10 Powerful Ways to Stop Worrying and Start Living Today

Plato knew that the body and mind are intimately linked. And in the late 1800s, the Mayo brothers, famous physicians, estimated that over half of all hospital beds are filled with people suffering from frustration, anxiety, worry and despair. Causes of worry are everywhere, in our relationships and our jobs, so it’s key we find ways to take charge of the stress.

In his classic book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, Dale Carnegie offers tools to ditch excessive worrying that help you make a worry-free environment for your private and professional life.

These are the top 10 tips to grab worry by the horns and wrestle it to the ground:

1. Make Your Decision and Never Look Back

Have you ever made a decision in life only to second-guess it afterwards? Of course you have! It’s hard not to wonder whether you’ve done the right thing and whether there might still be time to take another path.

But keep this in mind: you’ve already made your decision, so act decisively on it and dismiss all your anxiety about it.

Don’t stop to hesitate, to reconsider, or to retrace your steps. Once you’ve chosen a course of action, stick to it and never waver.

Advertising

2. Live for Today, Package Things up in “Day-Tight Compartments”

You know that feeling: tossing, turning and worrying over something that happened or something that might, well into the wee hours. To avoid this pointless worrying, you need “day-tight compartments”. Much as a ship has different watertight compartments, your own “day-tight” ones are a way to limit your attention to the present day.

The rule is simple: whatever happened in the past or might happen in the future must not intrude upon today. Everything else has to wait its turn for tomorrow’s box or stay stuck in the past.

3. Embrace the Worst-Case Scenario and Strategize to Offset It

If you’re worried about something, ask yourself: “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” Could you lose your job? Be jailed? Get killed?

Whatever the “worst” might be, it’s probably not so world-ending. You could probably even bounce back from it!

If, for example, you lose your job, you could always find another. Once you accept the worst-case scenario and get thinking about contingency plans, you’ll feel calmer.

4. Put a Lid on Your Worrying

Sometimes we stress endlessly about negative experiences when just walking away from them would serve us far better.

Advertising

To make squashing that worry easier, try this strategy, straight from stock traders: it’s called the “stop-loss” order, where shares are bought at a certain price, and then their price development is observed. If things go badly and the share price hits a certain point, they are sold off immediately. This stops the loss from increasing further.

In the same manner, you can put a stop-loss order on things that cause you stress and grief.

5. Fake It ‘Til You Make It – Happiness, That Is

We can’t directly influence how we feel, but we can nudge ourselves to change through how we think and act.

If you’re feeling sad or low, slap a big grin on your face and whistle a chipper tune. You’ll find it impossible to be blue when acting cheerful. But you don’t necessarily need to act outwardly happy; you can simply think happier thoughts instead.

Marcus Aurelius summed it up aptly:

“Our life is what our thoughts make it.”

6. Give for the Joy of Giving

When we perform acts of kindness, we often do so with the expectation of gratitude. But harboring such expectations will probably leave you disappointed.

One person well aware of this fact was the lawyer Samuel Leibowitz. Over the course of his career, Leibowitz saved 78 people from going to the electric chair. Guess how many thanked him? None.

So stop expecting gratitude when you’re kind to someone. Instead, take joy from the act yourself.

7. Dump Envy – Enjoy Being Uniquely You

Your genes are completely unique. Even if someone had the same parents as you, the likelihood of someone identical to you being born is just one in 300,000 billion.

Despite this amazing fact, many of us long to be someone else, thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. But living your life this way is pointless. Embrace your uniqueness and get comfortable with who you really are: How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

8. Haters Will Hate — It Just Means You’re Doing It Right

When you’re criticized, it often means you’re accomplishing something noteworthy. In fact, let’s take it a step further and consider this: the more you’re criticized, the more influential and important a person you likely are.

Advertising

So the next time somebody talks you down, don’t let it get to you. Take it as a compliment!

9. Chill Out! Learn to Rest Before You Get Tired

Scientists agree that emotions are the most common cause of fatigue. And it works the other way around, too: fatigue produces more worries and negative emotions.

It should be clear, therefore, that you’ve got to relax regularly before you feel tired. Otherwise, worries and fatigue will accumulate on top of each other.

It’s impossible to worry when you are relaxed, and regular rest helps you maintain your ability to work effectively.

10. Get Organized and Enjoy Your Work

There are few greater sources of misery in life than having to work, day in, day out, in a job you despise. It would make sense then that you shouldn’t pick a job you hate, or even just dislike doing.

But say you already have a job. How can you make it more enjoyable and worry-free? One way is to stay organized: a desk full of unanswered mails and memos is sure to breed worries.

Advertising

Better yet, rethink about the job you’re doing: What to Do When You Hate Your Job but Want a Successful Career

More About Living a Fulfilling Life

Featured photo credit: Tyler Nix via unsplash.com

Read Next