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Soulmates Aren’t Always Lovers

Soulmates Aren’t Always Lovers

We meet people for a moment, a season, or even for a lifetime. Whether they were put in front of you to love you, to hurt you, or to even teach you, it is always for a reason. It’s funny how the universe works. If you think back to the people you have met in the past, were there certain people that came when you needed them? Even if they did hurt you, did they not teach you something valuable?

Everyone I have met, those that came and went, or those that are still in my life, have brought something real to me. They gave me friendship, love, respect, lessons, or even just showing me a new way of thinking.

I am going to talk about two particular people in my life that came when I needed them the most, even if at the time I didn’t know it. If they happen to read this, I know they will know I am speaking of them.

I believe these two people were godsent. I truly believe that they were my soulmates, just not in a romantic way. I feel the universe brought us together and we crossed paths because we had something we needed to learn from each other. These two people are still in my life and we keep in touch occasionally. I haven’t seen either of them for a while as they are both on the other side of the world, but they both hold a special place in my heart.

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My first soulmate was a guy. Initially, he thought I was a snob. Meanwhile, I thought he was just some cute guy that knew he was good-looking and wanted to charm everyone. He told me later that he had tried to get to know me and tried to initiate conversations but I just didn’t give much back. After all, he was from the other side of the world. As I saw it, he wasn’t going to be around for long and was just passing through, so why bother? I know, it was a terrible mindset. Back then, I was extremely guarded. Little did he (or I know) that he would be the very reason I would learn to open myself up to others and the world.

We eventually became friends and the more I got to know him, the more I saw what a beautiful soul he had. He would tell me stories of all his travels. Every time he told them, he had a sparkle in his eyes. He was so caring, friendly, polite, and open to every one that it fascinated me as I was really only nice to people I knew and warmed up to.

He taught me that people weren’t all out to get me. He also taught me that not all men were a**holes just trying to sleep with me. We became best friends in the year before he left Australia. We were always together, our friends would always invite both of us to every event or gathering. We would run by the water, go tanning, and hit the gym. We would also talk for hours about life, our pasts, our hopes and dreams. We even went on a few adventures together. We never did sleep together, even though a lot of our mutual friends thought we had, or thought something would happen. I think this was mainly because we were opposite sexes. We had something else. It was something I still can’t explain.

I cared for him very much. In a way, I fell in love with him, and not in a “I want you to be my boyfriend” kind of way. I fell in love with his soul. I fell in love with the way he saw the world. I fell in love with how genuine he was towards others. I also fell in love with the way he made me feel like I could do anything. He inspired me. To this day, I will still say that he was brought into my life to open my eyes and teach me that the world really is my oyster. There is so much more out there than the rat race we live in. He was the very reason I grew the confidence to leave the rut I was in and go explore.

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He never told me to do anything. He never told me what I should or shouldn’t do. Somehow, without actually saying, he made me realize that I was better than the four year relationship I felt stuck in. The last year of those four, it became one of those on again/off again relationships that become quite draining and tiring. My friend taught me that sometimes relationships run its course and the best thing you can do is to let go, so you have room to let in a better future.

He also taught me that you didn’t need to be rich to go explore. He taught me that if you wanted something, just do it. If you are doing something that feeds your soul, somehow the universe helps you along the way. I definitely saw this was true when I decided to book my one-way ticket to Thailand and then didn’t return home for a few years. There were times I was broke, there were some times I wanted to cry, and there were times I felt so alone. There are always highs and lows; however, when you are travelling, the highs definitely outweigh the lows and make it all worth it. I am forever grateful to have met him and I really don’t think he knows just how much of an impact he made on my life.

Let’s move on to my second soulmate, who just happens to be a female. Again, it was nothing romantic, but it was like I knew her forever. We just got each other. It was kind of weird because we both came from small towns next to each other. We knew all the same people growing up but we never really met. It was like we were living lives completely aligned with each other but never crossed paths until the moment that we both really needed each other. We laugh about it now, saying we were both lost teenagers and if we had met back then, we would’ve been bad influences on each other.

We met when she returned from traveling overseas. I had already settled back in Australia at this point and I was with my ex boyfriend when I met her. He was supposed to be with us for the group outing. I think it was meant to be that he didn’t come because I probably wouldn’t have chatted up a storm with her otherwise. Unfortunately, my ex didn’t quite like it if I spoke to other people too much.

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When we met, we spoke of travels and we spoke of life. Actually, we spoke of nearly everything. We just clicked. I didn’t see her again until I broke up with my ex. She also broke up with her ex a couple of weeks before me. When we met again, we hit it off and found that we shared the same perspective on a lot of topics. Even when we didn’t, we both communicated in a way that we could understand each other’s perspective. We could even communicate without saying anything to each other. It was crazy. It was like we had known each other for a lifetime.

We spent a lot of time together, even at family outings, where I would be her other half and vice versa. I told her things about me that no one else knew. She told me about her life. We would spend weekends watching documentaries, TV series, and movies. We’d also explore cafes, restaurants, libraries, and nature. Sometimes we would stay up all night talking or go get drunk together.

We both started learning more about meditation and spirituality. We kept each other grounded. She was the very first person I literally bared my soul to. She was exactly what I needed after my break up and I was what she needed after hers. We helped each other get through difficult times.

I also fell in love with her, not romantically, but in a similar way to my other soulmate. I fell in love with her soul. I loved how she composed herself so well yet had a mind filled with so many convictions and ideas. She was worldly, she was funny, she was smart, and she had class. I admired her. She was that girl that had guys crawling on their knees, but she never batted an eyelash. She wasn’t about that. She was much deeper than that, and that is one of the many reasons I loved her.

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It was so easy to talk to her. There was one night I told her something about me that caused me a lot of pain. After I finished, she cried. I could see that she felt my pain. We cared for each other immensely. She helped me realize that after everything I had been through, I actually turned out pretty darn good. In fact, she made me see that I was a beautiful human being, and that I should be proud of how far I had come. She also made me realize just how strong I am. Despite all I experienced, I still had an open heart and had an energy about me that drew people to me.

She told me she admired how I exude confidence. She liked that I was just so raw and said things how they were. I felt she taught me something so much more valuable. She taught me to value myself. I may have exuded confidence, I may have looked to the outside world that “I had it all together”, but I was never at peace with myself. That is, until I met her.

She is the only person I know that I can literally talk to for hours. She may be on the other side of the world, but when we chat, we chat. One time, I spoke to her from 9pm at night until 8am in the morning. I have not had a connection like this with any one. I have no idea what we talked about for that long, but all I know is that she is one special woman. It’s so beautiful that no matter how far away we are or if we don’t see each other, we still have such a strong bond.

So, there you have it. Two of the most significant people in my life thus far. They both have given me something so special that I will forever hold them in my heart. It is never “goodbye” with them, it’s just “see you later”. I truly hope that life brings them much joy and goodness. They both deserve nothing but the best.

I feel soulmates aren’t necessarily lovers, they come in all shapes and forms. Soulmates show up in your life to shake it up, to teach you something important, and to help you grow. The bond you share is deeper than words could ever explain.

Have you ever had a soulmate that wasn’t a lover?

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Last Updated on November 26, 2020

How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

As playwright Wilson Mizner supposedly said all the way back in the 1930s,

“Be kind to everyone on the way up; you will meet the same people on the way down.”

The adage is the perfect prototype for relationship building in 2020, although we may want to expand Mizner’s definition of “kind” to include being helpful, respectful, grateful, and above all, crediting your colleagues along the way.

5 Ways to Switch on Your Relationship Building Magnetism

Relationship building does not come easily to all. Today’s computer culture makes us more insular and less likely to reach out—not to mention our new work-from-home situation in which we are only able to interact virtually. Still, relationship building remains an important part of career engagement and success, and it gets better with practice.

Here are five ways you can strengthen your relationships:

1. Advocate for Other’s Ideas

Take the initiative to speak up in support of other team members’ good ideas. Doing so lets others know that the team’s success takes precedence over your needs for personal success. Get behind any colleague’s innovative approach or clever solution and offer whatever help you can give to see it through. Teammates will value your vote of confidence and your support.

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2. Show Compassion

If you learn that someone whom you work with has encountered difficult times, reach out. If it’s not someone you know well, a hand-written card expressing your sympathy and hopes for better times ahead could be an initial gesture. If it’s someone with whom you interact regularly, the act could involve offering to take on some of the person’s work to provide a needed reprieve or even bringing in a home-cooked dish as a way to offer comfort. The show of compassion will not go unnoticed, and your relationship building will have found a foothold.

3. Communicate Regularly

Make an effort to share any information with team members that will help them do their jobs more effectively. Keeping people in the loop says a lot about your consideration for what others need to deliver their best results.

Try to discover the preferred mode of communication for each team member. Some people are fine relying on emails; others like to have a phone conversation. And once we can finally return to working together in offices, you may determine that face-to-face updates may be most advantageous for some members.

4. Ask for Feedback

Showing your willingness to reach out for advice and guidance will make a positive impression on your boss. When you make it clear that you welcome and can accept pointers, you display candor and trust in what opinions your superior has to offer. Your proclivity towards considering ways of improving your performance and strengthening any working interactions will signal your strong relationship skills.

If you are in a work environment where you are asked to give feedback, be generous and compassionate. That does not mean being wishy-washy. Try always to give the type of feedback that you wouldn’t mind receiving.

5. Give Credit Where It’s Due

Be the worker who remembers to credit staffers with their contributions. It’s a surprisingly rare talent to credit others, but when you do so, they will remember to credit you, and the collective credit your team will accrue will be well worth the effort.

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How Does Relationship Building Build Careers?

Once you have strengthened and deepened your relationships, here are some of the great benefits:

Work Doesn’t Feel So Much Like Work

According to a Gallup poll, when you have a best friend at work, you are more likely to feel engaged with your job. Work is more fun when you have positive, productive relationships with your colleagues. Instead of spending time and energy overcoming difficult personalities, you can spend time enjoying the camaraderie with colleagues as you work congenially on projects together. When your coworkers are your friends, time goes by quickly and challenges don’t weigh as heavily.

You Can Find Good Help

It’s easier to ask for assistance when you have a good working relationship with a colleague. And with office tasks changing at the speed of technology, chances are that you are going to need some help acclimating—especially now that work has gone remote due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Much of relationship building rests on your genuine expressions of appreciation toward others. Showing gratitude for another’s help or for their willingness to put in the extra effort will let them know you value them.

Mentors Come Out of the Woodwork

Mentors are proven to advance your professional and career development. A mentor can help you navigate how to approach your work and keep you apprised of industry trends. They have a plethora of experience to draw from that can be invaluable when advising you on achieving career success and advancement.

Mentors flock to those who are skilled at relationship building. So, work on your relationships and keep your eyes peeled for a worthy mentor.

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You Pull Together as a Team

Great teamwork starts with having an “abundance mentality” rather than a scarcity mentality. Too often, workers view all projects through a scarcity mentality lens. This leads to office strife as coworkers compete for their piece of the pie. But in an abundance mentality mode, you focus on the strengths that others bring rather than the possibility that they are potential competitors.

Instead, you can commit relationship building efforts to ensure a positive work environment rather than an adversarial one. When you let others know that you intend to support their efforts and contribute to their success, they will respond in kind. Go, team!

Your Network Expands and So Does Your Paycheck

Expand your relationship building scope beyond your coworkers to include customers, suppliers, and other industry stakeholders. Your extra efforts can lead to extra sales, a more rewarding career, and even speedy professional advancement. And don’t overlook the importance of building warm relationships with assistants, receptionists, or even interns.

Take care to build bridges, not just to your boss and your boss’s boss but with those that work under you as well. You may find that someone who you wouldn’t expect will put in a good word for you with your supervisor.

Building and maintaining good working relationships with everyone you come in contact with can pay off in unforeseen ways. You never know when that underling will turn out to be the company’s “golden child.” Six years from now you may be turning to them for a job. If you have built up a good, trusting work relationship with others along your way, you will more likely be considered for positions that any of these people may be looking to fill.

Your Job Won’t Stress You Out

Study shows that some 83 percent of American workers experience work-related stress.[1] Granted, some of that stress is now likely caused by the new pandemic-triggered workplace adjustments, yet bosses and management, in general, are reportedly the predominant source of stress for more than one-third of workers.

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Having meaningful connections among coworkers is the best way to make work less stressful. Whether it is having others whom to commiserate with, bounce ideas off, or bring out your best performance, friendships strengthen the group’s esprit de corps and lower the stress level of your job.

Your Career Shines Bright

Who would you feel better about approaching to provide a recommendation or ask for promotion: a cold, aloof boss with whom you have only an impersonal relationship or one that knows you as a person and with whom you have built a warm, trusting relationship?

Your career advancement will always excel when you have a mutual bond of friendship and appreciation with those who can recommend you. Consider the plug you could receive from a supervisor who knows you as a friend versus one who remains detached and only notices you in terms of your ability to meet deadlines or attain goals.

When people fully know your skills, strengths, personality, and aspirations, you have promoters who will sing your praises with any opportunity for advancement.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, it is “who you know” not “what you know.” When you build relationships, you build a pipeline of colleagues, work partners, team members, current bosses, and former bosses who want to help you—who want to see you succeed.

At its core, every business is a people business. Making a point to take the small but meaningful actions that build the foundation of a good relationship can be instrumental in cultivating better relationships at work.

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Featured photo credit: Adam Winger via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] The American Institute of Stress: 42 Worrying Workplace Stress Statistics

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