Advertising
Advertising

Talking To Yourself Like Someone Else Can Make You More Motivated

Talking To Yourself Like Someone Else Can Make You More Motivated

“Why don’t I have anything to say at parties?” That’s probably one of the most frequent questions asked by introverts. Look across the dance floor and you see Mister Suave chatting up quite a sophisticated lady at the bar and the next question comes, “Why can’t I be like that guy over there?” As a result, you start hating parties.

Self-talk among introverts is common but it can get unhealthy once you allow your inner voice to belittle you and based on that, form your own negative perception of reality that might not be true. That said, what if there was a way to use self-talk to help introverts feel more confident, help them chase their dreams, and be more successful?

From The Outside Looking In

A recent study conducted at the University of Michigan discovered that by using a subtle linguistic shift of “you” (or your own name) instead of using “I”, we are able to change the way we feel and behave. The research added that by talking to yourself in a first person view, using the word “I” all the time can actually stress us out instead of bringing on self-love and acceptance.

Advertising

If we take the introvert as mentioned in the opening paragraph as an example, and they use the third person view when talking to themselves silently, not only will it be a confidence booster, it will also be an internal remodeling of their perspectives on their surroundings. Instead of saying, “Why can’t I be like that guy over there?”, our introvert could use his own name and say, “Come on Charlie, you interact differently and prefer to interact in more intimate settings”.

By doing so, our protagonist is tricking his mind to think that he is another person. By being an outsider looking in, it can bring about real benefits in terms of confidence and positive thinking.

First Person vs Third Person Views

A further study was conducted to determine the performance of participants using contrasting mental approaches to a speech they are required to make on “why they are qualified for their dream jobs”.

Advertising

Before they were given a 5-minute preparation for their speech, they were also given additional instructions on how to prepare. One group was given instructions to analyse their feelings before giving their speech in the first person view, using the pronouns “I” and “my”. For the second group, they were given instructions to analyse their feelings using a non-first-person view, using the pronouns “you”, or “he/she”.

Before and after giving their speeches, the participants were led into a quiet room to complete a mood assessment form. Two coders then watched the videotaped speeches to rate them on confidence, nervousness, and overall performance.

The result? The first person group felt significantly worse before and after the speech, while the non-first-person view group recorded stable moods and felt more positive after giving the speech, also recording lesser rumination. More importantly, the non-first-person view group gave better speeches with more confidence as compared to the first-person group.

Advertising

Time for Change

In overall, studies have shown that by using pronouns such as “you” or your own name instead of “I” in our self talk will result in lesser anxiety, better performances, and better confidence.

To provide more practical examples, look below for excerpts that represent the contrasting mental approaches:

1. First Person View

Advertising

I am a lousy employee. Why can’t I always get things right the first time? Why am I always caught up with so much firefighting at work while the others seem so nonchalant and are able to leave on the dot? Why can’t I be like them?

2. Third Person View

You need to focus on the task at hand. Even if you do make mistakes, you can learn from them and never repeat them again. You are different and you are better than what you think you are. Even if you lack the experience, you can become the hardest worker in the office. 

Featured photo credit: thinking man via pexels.com

More by this author

Lim Kairen

Content Writer

12 Powerful Illustrations Reveal How Modern Society Is Seriously Sick If You Want To Be Successful In Life, You Shouldn’t Say These 7 Phrases Easily Here Is What Your Farts Reveal About Your Digestive Health Everyone Is Talented In Their Own Way: The 9 Types Of Intelligence You Should Know Psychologists Explain How Boring Buildings Are Harmful To Our Mental Health

Trending in Communication

1 How to Develop Mutual Respect in a Relationship 2 If Money Can’t Buy Happiness, What Can? 3 Having an Emotional Breakdown? 15 Ways to Re-Center Yourself 4 10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts 5 What’s the Easiest Language to Learn for English Speakers?

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 17, 2019

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

1. Spend Time with Positive People

If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

Advertising

2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

3. Contribute to the Community

One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

Advertising

Some recommendations for you:

5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

Advertising

Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

8. Offer Compliments to Others

Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

Advertising

9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

10. Practice Self-Care

Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

More About Staying Positive

Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

Read Next