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Talking To Yourself Like Someone Else Can Make You More Motivated

Talking To Yourself Like Someone Else Can Make You More Motivated

“Why don’t I have anything to say at parties?” That’s probably one of the most frequent questions asked by introverts. Look across the dance floor and you see Mister Suave chatting up quite a sophisticated lady at the bar and the next question comes, “Why can’t I be like that guy over there?” As a result, you start hating parties.

Self-talk among introverts is common but it can get unhealthy once you allow your inner voice to belittle you and based on that, form your own negative perception of reality that might not be true. That said, what if there was a way to use self-talk to help introverts feel more confident, help them chase their dreams, and be more successful?

From The Outside Looking In

A recent study conducted at the University of Michigan discovered that by using a subtle linguistic shift of “you” (or your own name) instead of using “I”, we are able to change the way we feel and behave. The research added that by talking to yourself in a first person view, using the word “I” all the time can actually stress us out instead of bringing on self-love and acceptance.

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If we take the introvert as mentioned in the opening paragraph as an example, and they use the third person view when talking to themselves silently, not only will it be a confidence booster, it will also be an internal remodeling of their perspectives on their surroundings. Instead of saying, “Why can’t I be like that guy over there?”, our introvert could use his own name and say, “Come on Charlie, you interact differently and prefer to interact in more intimate settings”.

By doing so, our protagonist is tricking his mind to think that he is another person. By being an outsider looking in, it can bring about real benefits in terms of confidence and positive thinking.

First Person vs Third Person Views

A further study was conducted to determine the performance of participants using contrasting mental approaches to a speech they are required to make on “why they are qualified for their dream jobs”.

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Before they were given a 5-minute preparation for their speech, they were also given additional instructions on how to prepare. One group was given instructions to analyse their feelings before giving their speech in the first person view, using the pronouns “I” and “my”. For the second group, they were given instructions to analyse their feelings using a non-first-person view, using the pronouns “you”, or “he/she”.

Before and after giving their speeches, the participants were led into a quiet room to complete a mood assessment form. Two coders then watched the videotaped speeches to rate them on confidence, nervousness, and overall performance.

The result? The first person group felt significantly worse before and after the speech, while the non-first-person view group recorded stable moods and felt more positive after giving the speech, also recording lesser rumination. More importantly, the non-first-person view group gave better speeches with more confidence as compared to the first-person group.

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Time for Change

In overall, studies have shown that by using pronouns such as “you” or your own name instead of “I” in our self talk will result in lesser anxiety, better performances, and better confidence.

To provide more practical examples, look below for excerpts that represent the contrasting mental approaches:

1. First Person View

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I am a lousy employee. Why can’t I always get things right the first time? Why am I always caught up with so much firefighting at work while the others seem so nonchalant and are able to leave on the dot? Why can’t I be like them?

2. Third Person View

You need to focus on the task at hand. Even if you do make mistakes, you can learn from them and never repeat them again. You are different and you are better than what you think you are. Even if you lack the experience, you can become the hardest worker in the office. 

Featured photo credit: thinking man via pexels.com

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Lim Kairen

Content Writer

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Last Updated on July 15, 2019

41 Beautiful Pictures That Show What True Love Is All About

41 Beautiful Pictures That Show What True Love Is All About

Some things in life are hard to describe, yet we can recognize them when we see them.

Love is one of those things.

True love comes in many different forms, but here are some that many of us know well.

True love means supporting those who can’t support themselves

supportive couple

    A young man comforts his date in Times Square, New York City. Image by mbtrama

    strong hug

      A young man holds his significant other close to him. Image by Brad Fults

      running help

        A young track competitor helps one of her injured opponents over the finish line. Image from ViralNova.com

        feeding kitten

          A soldier in the Korean War takes time to feed a baby kitten. Image from US Naval Insititute

          It’s having the perfect selfie partner

          mom and daughter selfie

            A mother and her daughter take a selfie together. Image by Andrew Fysh

            girlfriends

              Two young girls pose for the camera. Image by Rolands Lakis

              selfies

                A happy couple takes a picture together. Image by Kayla Heineman

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                selfie

                  Two best friends take a selfie together. Image by Jason Wahido

                  dude selfie

                    Friends take a selfie together. Image by Glenn Scofield Williams

                    It’s all the warm fuzzies

                    12748262703_84c008f4e5_z

                      A young man spends time with his dog on a beach. Image by Magdalena Roeseler

                      DSC06952

                        A pet owner hugs his dog while on a day trip in San Francisco. Image by Taro the Shiba Inu

                        It means having a friend to photobomb you

                        photobomb

                          A boy makes a funny face as he poses for a picture with his brother. Image by Michael Bentley

                          old man photobomb

                            A man photobombs his wife while their grandson snaps a picture. Image by Frank

                            family photobomb

                              Family members photobomb their relatives’ Thanksgiving day family photo. Image by Beth Scupham

                              boyfriend photobomb

                                A friend photobombs the photographer and their friend, the woman in the foreground of this photo. Image by Lachlan Hardy

                                True love means being there even when life gets unbearably hard

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                                shoulder to cry on

                                  A family watches the Vermont National Guard depart for Afghanistan. Image by The U.S. Army

                                  flood dog

                                    During a monsoon in the Philippines, a boy carries his dog to safety. Image by Romeo Ranoco

                                    A woman is rescued from flood waters by a resident standing on top of her car during heavy rain in Chalandri suburb north of Athens

                                      A man helps a woman out of her vehicle during a flood in Chalandri, Greece. Image by John Kolesidis

                                      lunch

                                        A woman has lunch with her husband every day, even after he’s passed away. Image from ViralNova.com

                                        hug

                                          A woman hugs the mother of 6-year-old Noah Ponzer, who was one of the victims of the Sandy Hook shootings. Image by Spencer Platt

                                          rubble

                                            An Oklahoma couple pauses while trying to salvage belongings from a family member’s home after a tornado. Image by Adrees Latif

                                            sister and brother

                                              A girl puts her arm around her little brother as they wait outside of Sandy Hook Elementary after gunshots are fired. Image by Reuters.

                                              headstone

                                                A woman sits at her husband’s grave the day before their wedding anniversary. Image from NBC news

                                                It means taking the time for long goodbyes

                                                110321-N-BT887-100

                                                  A man says goodbye to his son before deploying. Image by Official U.S. Navy Page

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                                                  national guard goodbye

                                                    A South Carolina man says goodbye to his son before deploying for Afghanistan. Image by The National Guard

                                                    saying goodbye

                                                      A Sergeant hugs both of his sons before being deployed to Afghanistan. Image by The National Guard

                                                      And cherishing reunions

                                                      husband home

                                                        A woman hugs her husband as she sees him for the first time since his deployment to Iraq. Image by The U.S. Army

                                                        boyfriend home

                                                          A young  woman hugs her significant other as he returns home for Kuwait. Image by The National Guard

                                                          mother hug

                                                            A mother drops to her knees as she hugs her son on her return home from the Persian Gulf. Image by The National Guard

                                                            True love is letting yourself feel young when they’re around

                                                            elderly women

                                                              Two friends on their smartphones. Image by Robert Neff

                                                              feeling young

                                                                A young couple getting their picture taken. Image by db Photograph

                                                                sprinkler dad

                                                                  A father plays in a sprinkler with his daughter at Millennium Park in Chicago. Image by Ben Forsberg

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                                                                  subway couple

                                                                    A young couple on a subway enjoys sharing time together, while the girlfriend’s father sneaks a photo of them. Image by Gareth Williams

                                                                    wheelchairs

                                                                      A couple holds hands on a fall day. Image by David Amsler

                                                                      It’s letting yourself be silly… just because they’ll enjoy it

                                                                      silly faces

                                                                        A grandfather makes faces at the camera with his granddaughters. Image by Tim Pierce

                                                                        vote for pedro

                                                                          A woman’s father wears a Napoleon Dynamite t-shirt to make his daughter laugh. Image by emdot

                                                                          True love is allowing yourself to show how you really feel

                                                                          date night

                                                                            A young couple kisses in the back of a restaurant in Washington, D.C. Image by Derek Key

                                                                            playing violin

                                                                              Violinist Nancy Dinovo plays at a memorial service for the victims of 9/11. Image by Christopher Morris

                                                                              True love is timeless

                                                                              old friends

                                                                                Friends spending some time together. Image by Cristian Bortes

                                                                                sitting around a fire

                                                                                  A group of friends sits around a campfire eating. Image by New Old Stock

                                                                                  elderly couple

                                                                                    An elderly couple walks down a street together. Image by Matteo Paciotti

                                                                                    Featured photo credit: Matteo Paciotti via flickr.com

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