“Our culture tends to value logical, analytical thinking. That doesn’t make their way better. In fact, emotionally sensitive people are the ones who become passionate about causes and make changes in the world. They are artists and caregivers and those who contribute to humanity.” — Lori Deschene
Have you ever been described as hot headed or impetuous? You may also find that you cry easily and take things to heart. If this sounds familiar to you, then your emotions may often take charge and leave your rationality behind. The prominence and dominance of your emotional self may also make you emotionally sensitive. So, what does it mean to be emotionally sensitive? What causes it? And what are the positives of being emotionally sensitive?Advertising
What is emotional sensitivity?
Psychologist and author of the book The Emotionally Sensitive Person, Karyn D. Hall, explained what emotional sensitivity is and how it manifests itself. When someone is emotionally sensitive, they tend to experience emotions more intensely than other people do. Common feeling such as love, happiness, anger, and fear are felt to a greater degree. As your emotions can sometimes get the better of you, you tend to be apprehensive about how you will react in different situations.
Emotionally sensitive people have a sensitive way of viewing the world around them. They are acutely aware of the emotions of others and can be overly tolerant or intolerant. Many emotionally sensitive people work on an intuitive level and thus do not know how to verbalize themselves and their thoughts with great accuracy. If they believe they have been rejected, emotionally sensitive people can take it very personally. Decision making can be a difficult process for these people.Advertising
What is the cause of emotional sensitivity?
Lori Deschene, the founder of Tiny Buddha and Recreate Your Life Story explained the cause of emotional sensitivity as follows:
“Emotional sensitivity is biological. Research shows that some individuals are born with more intense emotions, meaning you react faster to emotional situations, your emotions are more intense, and your emotions take longer to fade. Events in a person’s life could also influence that emotional sensitivity.”
What are the two distinct types of emotional sensitivity?
Deschene identified two types of emotional sensitivity: reactive and avoidant. There are those who are reactive; these people tend to act on feelings before they undertake the process of thought. They are exposed to an emotional trigger and they react. They can be spontaneous and fun because they possess strong impulses.
People who are avoidant tend to shy away from uncomfortable emotions and situations that they believe will be unpleasant. If, for example, someone has offended them, they will move to the other side of the room to avoid talking to that specific individual.Advertising
What are the positive aspects of being emotionally sensitive?
Emotionally sensitive people have a heightened awareness of what other people are feeling. They experience intense joy and tend to be very passionate about things that are dear to them. Because they’re passionate, they tend to strive to make a difference to their surroundings. Emotionally sensitive people also tend to care intensely about others and express themselves authentically.
People who fall under the category of being emotionally sensitive are often careful not to hurt people’s feelings. They value memories and tend to dwell on things that have happened in the past. For these people happiness is more important than success and mistakes are viewed as part of the process, rather than something to get upset about.Advertising
Hall said, “Being emotionally sensitive can be a gift. It can also be very painful and more difficult than most can understand. If I could communicate one idea, it would be to accept your sensitivity rather than reject it or hate it, and learn to manage your emotions so you can find joy and peace. You may learn to cherish your emotional sensitivity—it can be done.”
If you are someone whose emotions tend to override their rationality, then do not view this as a negative trait. Being emotional and emotionally sensitive is a very positive thing. As Hall said, it is a gift.
Last Updated on July 13, 2020
9 Simple Ways to Always Stay Positive
It’s common to be struck with a bout of pessimism, or to naturally be more towards the pessimistic end of the perspective spectrum. It’s hard to see the positives in life and become an optimist when you’re lost in the murky waters of negative thinking.
However, Henrik Edberg, the founder of The Positivity Blog is here to share nine ways we can create a more optimistic outlook and positive perspective:
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” — Maria Robinson
When I was younger — in my teens and early 20s — I was trapped. Not physically, but mentally: by the destructive thought pattern called pessimism. This negative thinking poisoned what might have been a pretty good and opportunity-filled childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood. This pessimism created ceilings and walls where there really were none.
Throughout the period when I was ridden by pessimism, my life and I mostly stood still. Looking back, it was a terrible waste. If you are in pessimistic place, you don’t have to stay there for the rest of your life. I didn’t, for I learned to replace my negative thinking with optimism.
In this article I’ll explore nine positivity habits that have helped me to go from someone who was pessimistic most of the time to someone who is now optimistic almost all the time. I recommend to not try to add all the habits at one go but to choose one habit and to practice it for 30 days so it becomes a habit, before adding the next.
1. Ask Yourself the Right Questions
This is the simplest but perhaps also the most important habit I have discovered in adopting an optimistic mindset. The questions we ask ourselves day in and day out when we wind up in negative, difficult or uncertain situations make all the difference in our life.
A pessimist might ask him/herself questions like:
- “Why did this happen to me?”
- “Why do bad things happen to me all the time?”
But an optimist asks him/herself the questions that open up the mind to new viewpoints and possibilities. A few of my favorite questions for finding the optimistic perspective are:
- “What is one good thing about this situation?”
- “What can I learn from this situation?”
- “What is one small step I can take today to start solving this situation?”
2. Create a Positive Environment to Live In
The people you spend your time with and the information you let influence your mind will have a huge effect on your attitude and how you think about things.
Watch this YouTube video and learn the power of a positive environment:
So choose to:
- Spend more time with the people who lift you up. And less time – or no time – with people who just bring you down by being negative and critical. Read: You are the Average of the 5 People You Spend the Most Time With
- Let in the information that supports you. Spend less time on negative and self-esteem damaging media sources and spend more time reading positive and constructive blogs and books, watching motivating movies, listening to inspirational songs, and listening to audio books and podcasts created by optimistic people. Check out 12 Inspirational Movies With Important Life Lessons To Learn and 25 Most Inspirational Songs of All Time.
3. Be Grateful for What You Have (Don’t Forget About Yourself Too)
A very simple and quick way to boost the positive energy in your life is to tap into gratitude.
I usually do it by asking one or more of these questions:
- What can I be grateful for in my life today?
- Who are 3 people that I can be grateful to have in my life and why?
- What are 3 things I can be grateful for about myself?
Just spend 60 seconds or a few minutes during your day with answering one of these questions to reap the wonderful benefits.
4. Don’t Forget About Your Physical Self
Being an optimist isn’t just about thinking in a different way. It is also about caring for the physical part of ourselves.
I have found that working out a couple of times a week, enough quality sleep each night and eating healthy food has a huge effect on my mindset.
If I mismanage those very basic things then negative thoughts pop up far more often and I become more pessimistic and shut down about the possibilities in my life.
So don’t neglect these basic fundamentals. Just caring for your physical self the right way can minimize a whole bunch of problems in life.
5. Start Your Day in an Optimistic Way
The way you start your morning can set the tone for the rest of your day. For example, a stress-free morning often leads to less stress during the rest of the day.
So how can you set an optimistic tone for your day?
A three-step combination that has worked very well for me is to ask myself a gratitude question during breakfast, read some positive information online or in a book very early in the morning and then follow that up with exercising.
This sets my mind on the right path and fills me up with energy for my day.
6. Focus on Solutions
A sure way to feel more negative about a situation is to sit around and do nothing about it. Instead, use the questions I shared in step one and open up your mind to the possibilities of the situation you are in.
If you have trouble to get started with taking action, ask yourself:
What is one small step I can take today to get the ball rolling?
Then take that small step forward. However small this step is, it can have a big effect in your mood and thoughts. If the step feels too big or it just makes you procrastinate, then ask yourself:
What is an even smaller step I can take to move forward today?
The most important thing is to move forward, even if it’s a tiny baby step.
7. Reduce Your Worries
The worrying habit is a powerful and destructive one and can take over anyone’s thinking. It used to be one of my biggest obstacles to optimism and to moving forward in life.
Two effective steps that have helped me and still help me to this day to minimize the worries are:
- Ask yourself: how many of my worries ever happened in reality? If you are like me you will find that the answer is: very few. Most of the things you fear throughout your life will never happen. They are just nightmares or monsters in your own mind. This question can help you to do a reality check, to calm down and to realize that you have most likely just been building another imaginary nightmare.
- Focus on solutions and the action you can take. The worries grow stronger in a foggy mind and an inactive body. So use the questions in Steps 1 and 6 to move out of your worries and into resolution.
8. Don’t Let Ideals Ruin Things
A common mistake people make when making a shift in their attitudes is that they think that they have be perfect and do things perfectly all the time. This traps them from being positive.
Changing to a positive attitude can be gradual. While you may slip and stumble, continuing this way over time will strengthen your positive viewpoint more and more.
But if you set an inhuman standard for yourself and think you have to go from being a pessimist to always being an optimist, then you may find it hard to live up to that. And so you may feel like a failure. You get angry with yourself. And you may even give up on changing this habit and fall back into negative thinking.
So instead, focus on gradual change. If you are optimistic 40% of the time right now, try to improve this to being optimistic 60% of the time. Then, increase that to 80% when you are used to the new standard, then subsequently 100% if you can.
This focus on gradual improvement is far more sustainable and likely to bring long-term success than trying to reach an inhuman standard grounded in perfection.
9. Finally, a Reminder to Help You to Not Give Up
I would like to end this article with a simple but powerful and timeless thought that comforted and encouraged me to continue on when things looked bleak.
That thought is: It is always darkest before the dawn.
This thought has helped me to hold on and keep going when my social skills and dating life was just plain bad. It has helped me to continue on in my online business when things looked like they would never pick up. It has helped me to put one foot over another even when things looked dark.
I have found this thought to be very true. Why? Because when things seemed to be at the lowest for my blog, business, dating life or life in general, something positive would always happened. That’s probably because being at a low point forced me to change how I did things.
But maybe also because life has a way of evening itself out when I go on. By taking action rather than give up, something good will always happens.
Seeing this thought live itself out has strengthened my belief in staying optimistic, in taking action and to keep going even when going through rough patches.
Re-syndicated 9 Simple Habits to Stay Positive in Life | Personal Excellence
More on Staying Positive
- 5 Steps to Cultivate a Positive Mental Attitude
- How to Think Positive Thoughts When Feeling Negative
- 15 Ways to Practice Positive Self-Talk for Success
Featured photo credit: Allie Smith via unsplash.com