“Our culture tends to value logical, analytical thinking. That doesn’t make their way better. In fact, emotionally sensitive people are the ones who become passionate about causes and make changes in the world. They are artists and caregivers and those who contribute to humanity.” — Lori Deschene
Have you ever been described as hot headed or impetuous? You may also find that you cry easily and take things to heart. If this sounds familiar to you, then your emotions may often take charge and leave your rationality behind. The prominence and dominance of your emotional self may also make you emotionally sensitive. So, what does it mean to be emotionally sensitive? What causes it? And what are the positives of being emotionally sensitive?Advertising
What is emotional sensitivity?
Psychologist and author of the book The Emotionally Sensitive Person, Karyn D. Hall, explained what emotional sensitivity is and how it manifests itself. When someone is emotionally sensitive, they tend to experience emotions more intensely than other people do. Common feeling such as love, happiness, anger, and fear are felt to a greater degree. As your emotions can sometimes get the better of you, you tend to be apprehensive about how you will react in different situations.
Emotionally sensitive people have a sensitive way of viewing the world around them. They are acutely aware of the emotions of others and can be overly tolerant or intolerant. Many emotionally sensitive people work on an intuitive level and thus do not know how to verbalize themselves and their thoughts with great accuracy. If they believe they have been rejected, emotionally sensitive people can take it very personally. Decision making can be a difficult process for these people.Advertising
What is the cause of emotional sensitivity?
Lori Deschene, the founder of Tiny Buddha and Recreate Your Life Story explained the cause of emotional sensitivity as follows:
“Emotional sensitivity is biological. Research shows that some individuals are born with more intense emotions, meaning you react faster to emotional situations, your emotions are more intense, and your emotions take longer to fade. Events in a person’s life could also influence that emotional sensitivity.”
What are the two distinct types of emotional sensitivity?
Deschene identified two types of emotional sensitivity: reactive and avoidant. There are those who are reactive; these people tend to act on feelings before they undertake the process of thought. They are exposed to an emotional trigger and they react. They can be spontaneous and fun because they possess strong impulses.
People who are avoidant tend to shy away from uncomfortable emotions and situations that they believe will be unpleasant. If, for example, someone has offended them, they will move to the other side of the room to avoid talking to that specific individual.Advertising
What are the positive aspects of being emotionally sensitive?
Emotionally sensitive people have a heightened awareness of what other people are feeling. They experience intense joy and tend to be very passionate about things that are dear to them. Because they’re passionate, they tend to strive to make a difference to their surroundings. Emotionally sensitive people also tend to care intensely about others and express themselves authentically.
People who fall under the category of being emotionally sensitive are often careful not to hurt people’s feelings. They value memories and tend to dwell on things that have happened in the past. For these people happiness is more important than success and mistakes are viewed as part of the process, rather than something to get upset about.Advertising
Hall said, “Being emotionally sensitive can be a gift. It can also be very painful and more difficult than most can understand. If I could communicate one idea, it would be to accept your sensitivity rather than reject it or hate it, and learn to manage your emotions so you can find joy and peace. You may learn to cherish your emotional sensitivity—it can be done.”
If you are someone whose emotions tend to override their rationality, then do not view this as a negative trait. Being emotional and emotionally sensitive is a very positive thing. As Hall said, it is a gift.
Last Updated on August 21, 2018
15 Signs You’re an Old Soul and Think Differently
If you’ve often felt slightly removed from the worries of today and miss the simplistic life of a time gone by, or somehow feel a little out of sync with what your peers are concerned with, there’s a chance you may be an old soul.
Being an old soul refers to how you view and approach life.
Your views echo those of someone much older than you, who has lived a long and fruitful life. You approach life with a greater sense of knowledge and wisdom coupled with a greater sense of inner wealth.
If you’ve ever met an exasperated 10 year old saying, “Kids today are so…”, or a 28 year old who says, “In my day…”, an awful lot, chances are you’re in the presence of a beautiful old soul. They’re often perplexed, and unable to relate to the things people their own age consider fun, or important, and so feel out of place.
They look at life through a vignette of experiences they may not have lived, yet, but somehow, just seem to know.
So if you’ve ever felt like you’ve lived before, and you have a wealth of wisdom you can’t explain, chances are you have been reincarnated—
—or maybe, you’re just an old soul!
Here are some tell-tale signs to help you find out if you’re an old soul.
1. You know there’s another way to do things.
You often say things like, “I have a feeling this will work”, or “there’s no harm in trying.” People may view your suggestions as outdated or done, but you know that sometimes, just sometimes, the tried and tested ways of doing things are best. Hey, if it ain’t broke…
You feel that not all problems require a new and innovative solution, and going round in circles when the answer may be staring you in the face is usually a waste of valuable time, and energy.
You have no problem trying out new things, but know, too, that oldies can also be goodies.
2. You give advice well beyond your years.
You somehow seem to know how to do things you haven’t even done yourself yet. It’s like you’ve lived before, and just know how it all works. People often look at you with that “how do you know?” expression, and you respond with a confident, “I just know!”
Truth is, you do just know, but don’t know how you know. Those people who come to you for advice, though somewhat freaked out by your amazing prophetic powers to impressively offer solutions and predict outcomes, trust you wholeheartedly and don’t doubt your authenticity.
3. You like to think things through.
Even the most impatient of people will need to think things through if they are an old soul at heart. You need that time to maul it over in your head.
It’s an important part of your to-do process, and it enables you to move forward in the direction most in sync with your mind, body and soul.
To you, not being able to think things through, even a little, leaves you feeling uneasy, and that does nothing to help.
4. You don’t waste time asking why.
After you’ve thought things through, you move ahead, confident in the knowledge that you’ve done all you needed to do to get going.
You don’t waste time in trying to justify it to yourself or anyone else. You have little time and patience for the nonsensical and would prefer to utilize your time getting things done, rather than sitting around talking about getting things done.
In the end, you understand that whatever you do, you trust that all things work out just as they are supposed to, and you don’t want to question that wonderful process.
5. You don’t like to go out just for the sake of going out.
It’s quality over quantity for you. You love to go out and have fun, but going out because others feel it is required, or you look boring if you don’t, holds no merit for you.
When you go out, you’d like to experience something; something that resonates with your way of perceiving the world and challenges you.
You’ll happily spend money on those things that give you wonderful experiences and broaden your horizons. Going out just because, seems pointless to you; you’d rather save your time, and money, and do something of quality.
6. You have an appreciation for old literature.
You respect the classics. You’re often found getting euphorically high off old books. You’ve probably sniffed a good few old books in your time, and you don’t care who sees.
For you, old literature should be respected and valued; they hold history and historical experience between their pages and deserve to be exalted.
7. You have old ears.
You love and appreciate the classics and have a longing for the musicality of those nostalgic tunes. Your record (that’s right, record!) collection looks like a retro music store. Probably only 10% of your collection consists of what you refer to as “nowadays” music, the rest are from decades gone by.
You know only a handful of today’s artists, and that’s only because you haven’t heard an album yet to rival your favorite Grateful Dead album, or your favorite Frank Sinatra track.
You don’t go out of your way to avoid modern music, it just doesn’t seem to whet your appetite. So you’ll happily pump your beloved Janis Joplin or Nat King Cole all the way home. Heaven!
8. You see no need in being unnecessarily stressed.
You don’t invite drama just because it makes you feel alive, no, you’d much prefer to live without it.
You appreciate the quiet, and invite peace. It’s become apparent to you that the world views stress and busyness as being productive.
But you know that being productive has nothing to do with being crazy busy or stressed, but everything to do with how well you utilize your time.
So you’re mindful about what you spend your hours doing, and make sure your doing something worthwhile, and not just keeping busy for busy sake.
9. You love to meet new people.
To you, talking to people is enriching and adds to your experience of the world. This isn’t because you just can’t help chit chatting, but more so because you are genuinely fascinated by those you share this planet with, who can offer different perspectives.
You love being able to swap stories with people you’ve only just met. Plus, it also serves to make those trips to the bank all the more interesting!
10. You value deep connections.
For you, it’s all about quality over quantity. You require a deeper connection with those around you in order to feel any connection at all.
Half-hearted friendships, surface-level relationships and fly-by-night hook-ups are not your thing. You value the essence of deeper friendships and long lasting relationships, as you give yourself wholly to them, too.
11. You love learning.
Nothing gets you going more than learning more about yourself, other people and the world around you.
For you learning is growth, and growth is part of life. As an old soul, you approach learning from the understanding that it doesn’t have to lead anywhere, for example, a degree or certificate.
Sure, those things are great and offer a sense of accomplishment, but for you it’s the act of learning something new and wonderful that motivates you, not the initials after your name!
12. You don’t see the fuss about the latest craze.
Following others just to fit in? Where’s the fun in that? To you, being a style chaser or tech follower is something you can never quite get your head around.
Sure you may even own a Kindle or you may have an iPad, but now they sit there, gathering dust, because you miss the feel (and smell) or the real thing, and computer works just fine.
You don’t really care whether you’re an early adopter or a late comer. None of the things defines you, and you’re okay with that.
13. You value the company of those much older than you.
You want to drink in their wisdom and you hang on their every word as they tell you stories of their youth. You laugh at their accounts of old trends, and cry at the war stories, you reminisce with them about long lost loves, and actually listen to their pearls of wisdom.
At a time when we seem to have less and less time for the more mature among us, the old soul has nothing but time to give. That’s because you appreciate what they have to share, and let’s be honest, you secretly wish for a time when life seemed so simple.
14. You are the epitome of calm.
You are the steadfast one, the one neither swayed, nor toppled, even in a crisis. You probably say things like, “Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast,” and tell people to “Get a grip!”
To everyone else, you appear disconnected, but to those who know you well, you’re actually hard at work, you just work differently.
You’ve learned that nothing actually gets done if everyone is running around losing their heads; someone needs to be the calm force. This is just how you make sense of what is happening.
You stop. Wait. Listen. Then decide what steps to take next.
15. You truly understand what it means to give.
To you, there’s no better way to live, than to give.
Giving your time, or money or those things you simply have no need for is the most rewarding thing anyone can do with their short time on earth. It isn’t an ego thing, far from it.
For you, giving is the purest act of love. Plus, you see no point in holding on to things you cant take with you, so you’re more than happy to travel light!
Featured photo credit: Portrait of fashionable well dressed man with beard posing outdoors looking away, confident and focused mature man in coat standing outside at sunny evening, elegant fashion model via shutterstock.com