“Our culture tends to value logical, analytical thinking. That doesn’t make their way better. In fact, emotionally sensitive people are the ones who become passionate about causes and make changes in the world. They are artists and caregivers and those who contribute to humanity.” — Lori Deschene
Have you ever been described as hot headed or impetuous? You may also find that you cry easily and take things to heart. If this sounds familiar to you, then your emotions may often take charge and leave your rationality behind. The prominence and dominance of your emotional self may also make you emotionally sensitive. So, what does it mean to be emotionally sensitive? What causes it? And what are the positives of being emotionally sensitive?Advertising
What is emotional sensitivity?
Psychologist and author of the book The Emotionally Sensitive Person, Karyn D. Hall, explained what emotional sensitivity is and how it manifests itself. When someone is emotionally sensitive, they tend to experience emotions more intensely than other people do. Common feeling such as love, happiness, anger, and fear are felt to a greater degree. As your emotions can sometimes get the better of you, you tend to be apprehensive about how you will react in different situations.
Emotionally sensitive people have a sensitive way of viewing the world around them. They are acutely aware of the emotions of others and can be overly tolerant or intolerant. Many emotionally sensitive people work on an intuitive level and thus do not know how to verbalize themselves and their thoughts with great accuracy. If they believe they have been rejected, emotionally sensitive people can take it very personally. Decision making can be a difficult process for these people.Advertising
What is the cause of emotional sensitivity?
Lori Deschene, the founder of Tiny Buddha and Recreate Your Life Story explained the cause of emotional sensitivity as follows:
“Emotional sensitivity is biological. Research shows that some individuals are born with more intense emotions, meaning you react faster to emotional situations, your emotions are more intense, and your emotions take longer to fade. Events in a person’s life could also influence that emotional sensitivity.”
What are the two distinct types of emotional sensitivity?
Deschene identified two types of emotional sensitivity: reactive and avoidant. There are those who are reactive; these people tend to act on feelings before they undertake the process of thought. They are exposed to an emotional trigger and they react. They can be spontaneous and fun because they possess strong impulses.
People who are avoidant tend to shy away from uncomfortable emotions and situations that they believe will be unpleasant. If, for example, someone has offended them, they will move to the other side of the room to avoid talking to that specific individual.Advertising
What are the positive aspects of being emotionally sensitive?
Emotionally sensitive people have a heightened awareness of what other people are feeling. They experience intense joy and tend to be very passionate about things that are dear to them. Because they’re passionate, they tend to strive to make a difference to their surroundings. Emotionally sensitive people also tend to care intensely about others and express themselves authentically.
People who fall under the category of being emotionally sensitive are often careful not to hurt people’s feelings. They value memories and tend to dwell on things that have happened in the past. For these people happiness is more important than success and mistakes are viewed as part of the process, rather than something to get upset about.Advertising
Hall said, “Being emotionally sensitive can be a gift. It can also be very painful and more difficult than most can understand. If I could communicate one idea, it would be to accept your sensitivity rather than reject it or hate it, and learn to manage your emotions so you can find joy and peace. You may learn to cherish your emotional sensitivity—it can be done.”
If you are someone whose emotions tend to override their rationality, then do not view this as a negative trait. Being emotional and emotionally sensitive is a very positive thing. As Hall said, it is a gift.
Last Updated on October 22, 2019
How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary
When someone says, “I can’t do it” . . . I say to myself, “What do you mean you can’t do it?” Maybe you don’t want to do it, but saying you “can’t” do it is a completely different story.
With the right mindset, positive attitude, and a clear vision of what you want to accomplish, the only thing that is holding you back is yourself.
Can’t is a terrible word and it has to be taken out of your vocabulary.
By saying you can’t do something, you’re already doubting yourself, submitting to defeat, and you’re making that barrier around your life tighter.
So today, right now, we are going to remove this word for good.
From now on there is nothing we can’t do.
“Attitude is Tattoo”
Your attitude is everything; it’s your reason, your why and how, your facial expression, emotions, body language, and potentially the end result. How you approach an opportunity, and the result of it, is solely based on you — not your boss or your co-worker or friend.
If you enter a business meeting with a sour attitude, that negative energy can spread like wildfire. People can also feel it — maybe even taste it. This is not an impression you want to leave.
Now imagine you enter a business meeting with a positive attitude, that whatever happens in here is going to be your result, in your control, not someone else’s. Of course, we can’t always win, but even if the outcome is negative, your attitude and perception can turn it into a positive. The question is: can you do it?
Of course you can, because there is nothing in this world you can’t do.
It’s much better to be known for your positive attitude — your poise, your energy, the reason why things go so well because you are able to maintain such character. A negative attitude is easy. It’s easy to complain, it’s easy to be mad, and it’s even easier to do nothing to change it.
When I say your “attitude is tattoo”, it sounds permanent. Tattoos can be removed, but that’s not the point. Your attitude is like a tattoo because you wear it. People can see it and sometimes, they will judge you on it. If you maintain a negative attitude, then it is permanent until you change it.
Change your attitude and I guarantee the results change as well.
Believe You Can Do It
Do you know why most people say “can’t” and doubt themselves before trying anything?
It’s our lack of self-confidence and fear on many different levels. The one thing we have to purge from ourselves is fear — fear of bad results, fear of change, fear of denial, fear of loss, the fear that makes us worry and lose sleep. Worrying is the same as going outside with an umbrella, waiting for rain to hit it. Stop worrying and move on.
Confidence is fragile: It builds up slowly, but can shatter like glass. Project your confidence and energy into believing in yourself. This is a very important and groundbreaking step — one that is usually the hardest to take. Start telling yourself you can do something, anything, and you will do it the best to your ability. Remove doubt, remove fear, and stick with positive energy.
Do not fear failure. Do not run away from it. Face it, learn from it, grow, and take action. Just remember: You will never know success if you have never failed.
Your confidence will bolster after embracing these facts. You will be immune to demoralizing results, and instead you will find ways to fix it, improve upon it, and make it better than before. You will learn to never say “can’t,” and will realize how many more opportunities you can create by removing that one word.
Don’t let one simple and ugly word plague your confidence. You’re better and stronger than that.
Start Making the Change
But to actually start the process of change is very challenging.
Why is that?
Fear? Time? Don’t know how — or where — to start?
It’s hard because what we’re doing is unlearning what we know. We are used to doing things a certain way, and chances are we’ve been doing them for years.
So here are some ways that I avoid using the word “can’t”, and actually take the steps to put forth the change that I wish to see. I hope you can incorporate these methods into your life.
Write down What You Want to Change
Write it on post-its, notecards, whatever makes you comfortable — something you will always see. I usually write mine on post-its and put them all over the wall behind my monitor so I always see them.
Tell a Friend and Talk About It
Discussing your goals, what you want to change, is very effective when you say it out loud and tell another person other than yourself. It’s almost like saying, hey, I bet I can do it — watch me.
When you fulfill that goal and tell your friend, it feels rewarding and will motivate you to do it again in a different aspect. Who knows? Maybe your friend adopts the same mindset as you.
Stop Yourself from Saying the Forbidden Word
Sometimes,I can’t control myself in public when I’m with friends, so I have to be careful with the words I use so I don’t embarrass or insult anyone.
Treat the word “can’t” as the worst word you can possibly use. Stop yourself from saying it, mid-sentence if you must, and turn your whole perspective around — you can do it, you will do it, and nothing is impossible!
Repetition, Repetition, Repetition
You think this change will be overnight? No way. This is a practice. Something you’re going to be doing for the rest of your life from now until forever.
As I said earlier, you are unlearning what you know. You know how easy it is to say you can’t do something, so by unlearning this easy practice, you’re self-disciplining yourself to live without boundaries.
Practice this everyday, a little at a time, and before you know it, the word can’t will not be part of your language.
Do Anything That Can Relieve Your Uncertainty
When I catch myself saying I can’t do something or I don’t know something, looking up information on that action or subject, doing research, educating yourself, relieves that uncertainty.
Sometimes, we think we can’t do something because the whole idea of it seems too large. We skip the small steps in our head and only focus on the end.
Before you say you can’t do something, rewind and slow down a little bit. Focus on what the first step is, then the next. Take it a step at a time, and before you know it you will have done something you previously thought you couldn’t do.
You know what you must do. The first step is right now. Once you begin this habit, and really start noticing some change, you’ll realize the door to opportunity is everywhere.
The funny thing is: Those doors have always been there. The evil word that we no longer use put a veil over our eyes because that’s how powerful that word is.
More About Mental Strength
- 8 Things to Remember When You Can’t Do What You Need to Do
- How to Develop a Can Do Attitude and Succeed in Whatever You Want
- 11 Tips for Maintaining Your Positive Attitude
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