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Why Some People Are Not Pretty Or Handsome But Are Still Extremely Attractive

Why Some People Are Not Pretty Or Handsome But Are Still Extremely Attractive

Would you rather be referred to as beautiful or as extremely attractive?

The question sounds a bit redundant, doesn’t it? The words beautiful and attractive seem to be synonymous or at the very least synonyms, right?

Not quite.

Although we use the words interchangeably, they are, in fact, two very different and distinct attributes. Beauty refers only to our outward appearance. It encompasses things like:

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  • Hair style, length, and color
  • Eye color and shape
  • Bone structure
  • Physique

Generally speaking, pure and true beauty is genetically produced and cannot be artificially created — but it can be enhanced. In other words, if one is not naturally beautiful, the appearance can be improved but the person will never truly be gorgeous.

“Attractive,” on the other hand, is a co-mingling of external attributes and internal traits that combine to produce a type of magnetism that is un-explainable.

Attractiveness combines:

  • Physical appearance
  • Attitude
  • Personality
  • Disposition

Therefore, a highly attractive individual can be less than average in the looks department. We see the effects of this phenomenon in our day-to-day lives.

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Consider that “odd couple.” You know the one, where the female is drop-dead gorgeous and the guy is just OK looking?

We all ask ourselves: “What the heck is she doing with him?”

The answer is quite simple: what he lacks in looks department he compensates for by being desirable in other areas.

We think that the best-looking individuals enjoy choice pickings in the dating pool. But in fact, it’s the one who is most attractive that wins at this game.

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Take the wildly popular British R&B singer and songwriter Seal as an example. Let’s be honest — he is not exactly what most of us consider “eye candy.” He was, however, attractive enough to become world famous in an industry where good looks are a prerequisite and a golden ticket to success. Also, consider that he won the heart of the very beautiful supermodel Heidi Klum.

Attractive vs Beautiful

Beautiful:

  • Beauty is a rigid, static physical image.
  • Beauty can be inherited, photoshopped, or surgically attained.
  • Beauty leads individuals toward the pursuit of the physical features associated with the word.

Attractive:

  • Attractiveness is fluid and variable. It flows from the inside out.
  • Attractiveness is developed and evolves over time. It is ageless.
  • Attractiveness is an attainable goal for those who take care of their bodies, enjoy their lives, maintain sensuality, and engage with others.

We can alter our appearance with makeup and cosmetic procedures. We can manipulate our body and hair with clothing, tattoos, and adornments. But appearance is only part of the equation. Of all the elements that make us truly attractive, physical beauty is only one.

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So What Makes A Person Attractive?

Webster defines attractive as, “The quality that arouses interest and pleasure. The power to attract.” It lists synonyms such as:

  • Charming
  • Charismatic
  • Captivating
  • Engaging

Being an attractive person takes more than rock-hard abs, a round and firm bubble butt, and a great set of teeth. It encapsulates and exudes the true essence of who we are as human beings.

The way in which we interact with others and the world around us is the key to being truly attractive. It is the way we carry ourselves. It is how we feel about ourselves. And, most importantly, it is how we make others feel about themselves when they are in our presence.

Make no mistake about it, physical beauty is a critical element in being attractive. Taking pride in our appearance by being neat, clean, polished, and presentable screams of self-esteem and self-worth — two very attractive qualities.

Simply put, being attractive is our ability to draw people to us… it is our magnetism.

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Denise Hill

Denise shares about psychology and communication tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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