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3 Steps To Fighting The Unfairness Of Life

3 Steps To Fighting The Unfairness Of Life

It’s actually hard to write about fighting something when you find yourself still caught up in the midst of it. I wish I could come up with some magic trick up my sleeve and make all the pain and despair go away. I have tried looking up for resources elsewhere and turned up to Google for solace but turns out no one out there seemed to have a quick way to solve the problem either.

So, I said to myself: You can choose to see it as a lesson learned resulting from another epic episode of failure, or you can choose to find its origins in an inadequate, unlucky birth. You can blame it on the odds wrongfully playing against you. The truth is that if you ever choose to stop trying, and if you decide to stick to the “I’d rather not”, you’ll probably end up with a lot of “What if” thus continuing the unfairness of life by default.

The truth is it will take time and energy and probably some more battling and all sorts of other things you feel have deserted you right now. The good thing though is that it could all come back sooner than you think; in three steps actually.

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1. Get Real

Writer Barbara Kingsolver said:

“Don’t try to make life a mathematics problem with yourself in the center and everything coming out equal. When you’re good, bad things can still happen. And if you’re bad, you can still be lucky.”

The first step is most likely the toughest one for many reasons. You have to realize that you are a wrecking mess and your life is falling apart and the person you are is changing when really, you never asked for any of this. You’ll be sad and feel like you do not deserve any of the things that are happening to you. And you will be right but as mentioned above, it’s not about fairness.

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2. Fight The Powerlessness

“I am living in hell from one day to the next. But there is nothing I can do to escape. I don’t know where I would go if I did. I feel utterly powerless, and that feeling is my prison. I entered of my own free will, I locked the door, and I threw away the key.”

The words of Haruki Murakami resonated with me because some days – actually most days – that’s how I felt, like all the things that were happening to me today were nothing else but the result of my past choices. I couldn’t help but come to the conclusion that I had taken all sorts of wrong decisions and that I had now to pay the bitter price of their consequences. I had built up my own demise day after day and was now locking myself away from the rest of the world because I was too afraid of my next move. What if I was to take another bad decision? When would I – if ever – be back on track?

3. Reclaim Fairness

“You just have to keep driving down the road. It’s going to bend and curve and you’ll speed up and slow down, but the road keeps going.”
― Ellen DeGeneres

Well, it sounds like an easy thing to say but if you think about it, there are no other options. The world keeps spinning and all around you, people carry on with their daily routines and you feel a bit more lonely and isolated every day. Simply put, things will probably not get drastically better overnight but that’s not what matters. What does is the use you will make of the time that you’ll be granted tomorrow, and the day after that, and so on while the world keeps moving and you’re not.

Chances are life will probably be unkind to you again. Maybe someone you’ll fall in love with, someone who will not love you back or perhaps you’ll lose your job, or someone you care about dearly will be sick. Maybe you will be sick or worst comes to worst, all of those things will happen to you.

All you have to do is take it one step at a time. One step out of your bed, then one step outside until you start walking down the road and find your pace again. All you need to do is show up.

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Featured photo credit: Untitled via flickr.com

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

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4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

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9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

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15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

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20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

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Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

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