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3 Steps To Fighting The Unfairness Of Life

3 Steps To Fighting The Unfairness Of Life

It’s actually hard to write about fighting something when you find yourself still caught up in the midst of it. I wish I could come up with some magic trick up my sleeve and make all the pain and despair go away. I have tried looking up for resources elsewhere and turned up to Google for solace but turns out no one out there seemed to have a quick way to solve the problem either.

So, I said to myself: You can choose to see it as a lesson learned resulting from another epic episode of failure, or you can choose to find its origins in an inadequate, unlucky birth. You can blame it on the odds wrongfully playing against you. The truth is that if you ever choose to stop trying, and if you decide to stick to the “I’d rather not”, you’ll probably end up with a lot of “What if” thus continuing the unfairness of life by default.

The truth is it will take time and energy and probably some more battling and all sorts of other things you feel have deserted you right now. The good thing though is that it could all come back sooner than you think; in three steps actually.

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1. Get Real

Writer Barbara Kingsolver said:

“Don’t try to make life a mathematics problem with yourself in the center and everything coming out equal. When you’re good, bad things can still happen. And if you’re bad, you can still be lucky.”

The first step is most likely the toughest one for many reasons. You have to realize that you are a wrecking mess and your life is falling apart and the person you are is changing when really, you never asked for any of this. You’ll be sad and feel like you do not deserve any of the things that are happening to you. And you will be right but as mentioned above, it’s not about fairness.

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2. Fight The Powerlessness

“I am living in hell from one day to the next. But there is nothing I can do to escape. I don’t know where I would go if I did. I feel utterly powerless, and that feeling is my prison. I entered of my own free will, I locked the door, and I threw away the key.”

The words of Haruki Murakami resonated with me because some days – actually most days – that’s how I felt, like all the things that were happening to me today were nothing else but the result of my past choices. I couldn’t help but come to the conclusion that I had taken all sorts of wrong decisions and that I had now to pay the bitter price of their consequences. I had built up my own demise day after day and was now locking myself away from the rest of the world because I was too afraid of my next move. What if I was to take another bad decision? When would I – if ever – be back on track?

3. Reclaim Fairness

“You just have to keep driving down the road. It’s going to bend and curve and you’ll speed up and slow down, but the road keeps going.”
― Ellen DeGeneres

Well, it sounds like an easy thing to say but if you think about it, there are no other options. The world keeps spinning and all around you, people carry on with their daily routines and you feel a bit more lonely and isolated every day. Simply put, things will probably not get drastically better overnight but that’s not what matters. What does is the use you will make of the time that you’ll be granted tomorrow, and the day after that, and so on while the world keeps moving and you’re not.

Chances are life will probably be unkind to you again. Maybe someone you’ll fall in love with, someone who will not love you back or perhaps you’ll lose your job, or someone you care about dearly will be sick. Maybe you will be sick or worst comes to worst, all of those things will happen to you.

All you have to do is take it one step at a time. One step out of your bed, then one step outside until you start walking down the road and find your pace again. All you need to do is show up.

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Featured photo credit: Untitled via flickr.com

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Last Updated on May 17, 2019

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

The pursuit of worthwhile goals is a part of what makes life enjoyable. Being able to set a goal, then see yourself progress towards achieving that goal is an amazing feeling.

But do you know the biggest obstacle for most people trying to achieve their goals, the silent dream killer that stops people before they ever even get started? That obstacle is the comfort zone, and getting stuck there is bound to derail any efforts you make towards achieving the goals you’ve set for yourself.

If you want to achieve those goals, you’ll have to break free from your comfort zone. Let’s take a look at how your life will change once you build up the courage to leave your comfort zone.

What Is the Comfort Zone?

The comfort zone is defined as “a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.”

What stands out to me the most about that definition is the last part: “using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.” How many successful people do you know who deliver a steady level of performance?

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The goal in life is to continually challenge yourself, and continually improve yourself. And in order to do that, you have move out of your comfort zone. But once you do, your life will start to change in ways you could never have imagined. I know because it’s happening right now in my own life.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

1. You will be scared

Leaving your comfort zone isn’t easy. In fact, in can be downright terrifying at times, and that’s okay. It’s perfectly normal to feel a little trepidation when you’re embarking on a journey that forces you to try new things.

So don’t freak out or get overwhelmed when you feel yourself getting a little scared. It’s perfectly normal and all part of the process. What’s important is that you don’t let that fear hold you back. You must continue to take action in the face of fear.

That’s what separates winners from losers.

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2. You will fail

Stepping out of your comfort zone means you’re moving into uncharted territory. You’re trying things that you’ve never tried before, and learning things you’ve never learned before.

That steep learning curve means you’re not going to get everything right the first time, and you will eventually fail when you move out of your comfort zone. But as long as the failures aren’t catastrophic, it can actually be a good thing to fail because …

3. You will learn

Failure is the best teacher. I’ve learned more from each one of my failures than I have from each one of my successes. When you fail small, and fail often, you rapidly increase the rate at which you learn new insights and skills. And that new knowledge, if applied correctly, will eventually lead to your success.

4. You will see yourself in a different way

Once you move out of your comfort zone, you immediately prove to yourself that you’re capable of achieving more than you thought was possible. And that will change the way you see yourself.

Moving forward, you’ll have more confidence in yourself whenever you step out of your comfort zone, and that increased confidence will make it more likely that you continue to step outside your comfort zone. And each time you do, you’ll prove to yourself again and again what you’re really capable of.

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5. Your peers will see you in a different way

Whether we want to admit or not, people judge other people. And right now, people view you in a certain way, and they have a certain idea of what you’re capable of. That’s because they’ve become accustomed to seeing you operate in your comfort zone.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you’ll prove to other people, as well, that you’re capable of much more than you’ve shown in the past.

The increased confidence other people place in you will bring about more opportunities than ever before.

6. Your comfort zone will expand

The good thing about the comfort zone is that it’s flexible and malleable. With each action you take outside of your comfort zone, it expands. And once you master that new skill or action, it eventually becomes part of your comfort zone.

This is great news for you because it means that you can constantly increase and improve upon the behaviors that you’re comfortable with. And the more tools and skills you have at your disposal, the easier it will be to achieve your goals.

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7. You will increase your concentration and focus

When you’re living inside of your comfort zone, the bulk of your actions are habitual: automatic, subconscious, and requiring limited focus.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you no longer rely on those habitual responses. You’re forced to concentrate and focus on the new action in a way you never do in your comfort zone.

8. You will develop new skills

Moving out of your comfort zone requires that you develop new skills. One of the many benefits you’ll experience is that you’ll be stepping away from the “limited set of behaviors” and start to develop your ability and expertise in new areas.

Living inside of your comfort zone only requires a limited skill set, and those skills won’t contribute much to your success. Once you can confidently step outside of your comfort zone and learn a new skill, there’s no limit to how much you can achieve.

9. You will achieve more than before

With everything that happens once you move out of your comfort zone, you’re naturally going to achieve more than ever before.

Your increased concentration and focus will help you develop new skills. Those new skills will change the way you see yourself, encouraging you to step even further out of your comfort zone.

Featured photo credit: Josef Grunig via farm3.staticflickr.com

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